Subject: Let Me Tell You 'Bout This Here Pig


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  >   ||          {|||}   \-----]     If I had a nickel for every time
  >    \\        {|||}    _\____      that my girlfriend asked me for
  >     \\      {|||}    /  ----      a dollar, I'd probably be able
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  >        ==           ==
  >
  > One day, a fellow was walking down a country road when he noticed
  > a pig with a wooden leg on a farm.  He walked onto the farm and
  > questioned the farmer.
  >
  > "I noticed that you have a pig with a wooden leg, and I've never seen
  > anything like it in my whole life.  I was wondering why in the world
  > anyone would put a wooden leg on a pig."
  >
  >    "Son,... Let me tell you 'bout this here pig.  He's the smartest
  >    pig in the entire world.  He can speak 12 languages fluently,
  >    including English, French, German, Russian, Japanese, Spanish,
  >    Portugese, Arabic, Yiddish, Hebrew, Latin and Greek.
  >
  > "Yes,... he must be a very smart pig, but I was wondering about
  > how he got the wooden leg."
  >
  >     "Son,... Let me tell you somethin' else 'bout this here pig.
  >     Did you know that he has a PhD. in Physics, and he was a
  >     professor at MIT for 10 years?"
  >
  > "Yes, Yes,... he must be a very smart pig, but I was wondering about
  > how he got the wooden leg."
  >
  >     "Son,... Let me tell you somethin' else 'bout this here pig.
  >     He was the Undersecretary of State for Henry Kissinger during
  >     the Vietnam war.  He helped broker the peace treaty of Paris!"
  >
  > "Yes, Yes, Yes,... he must be a very smart pig, but I was wondering
  > about how he got the wooden leg."
  >
  >     "Well son,... I put the wooden leg on him so that he could walk
  >     straight after I pulled his real leg off."
  >
  > "But why in the world did you pull off his real leg???"
  >
  >     "Well son,... When you have a pig that's this smart, you don't
  >     just eat him all at once.  You try to make him last!"
  >