Subject: Microsoft Furniture


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  >     \\      {|||}    /  ----      You will be assimilated!
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  > September 21, 1999 (Seattle) -- Microsoft announced today
  > that it will provide office furniture with its software.
  > The next release of Windows, code named Naugahyde, will
  > include the Microsoft Chair at no extra charge.
  >
  > "This is a natural for us," a Microsoft spokesperson said.
  > "We've conquered the desktop, so we're looking at ways of
  > expanding our installed base."  The spokesperson denied
  > accusations that bundling constitutes an unfair competitive
  > advantage.  "We're just listening to our customers. They've
  > asked for more built in features, and who doesn't use a
  > chair when they're at their computer?  Especially when
  > they're waiting for Windows to reboot."
  >
  > Beta testers noted its large footprint and found the chair to
  > lack substantial features found in most of the competition.
  > But when asked if they dislike it enough to purchase another
  > vendor's furniture, most stated that they would just take
  > what Microsoft had to offer.
  >
  > Also in the works is a small seat, dubbed the Microsoft Stool,
  > soon to be bundled with laptops.  Beta testers were surprised
  > to find the backless chair at their doorsteps. "Then again,
  > this isn't the first time we've received a shrink-wrapped
  > stool sample from Microsoft," noted one customer.