Subject: William's Half Sister


  >
  >       _
  >      ( \                            Men are like a fine wine.
  >       \ \                           They start out as grapes.
  >       / /                 /\        It's women's job to stomp
  >      / /     .-`````-.   / ^`-.     them, and then keep them
  >      \ \    /         \_/  {|} `o   in the dark until they
  >       \ \  /   .---.   \\ _  ,--'   mature.  And hopefully they
  >        \ \/   /     \,  \( `^^^     will turn out to be something
  >         \   \/\      (\  )          we would like to have dinner
  >          \   ) \     ) \ \          with.
  >           ) /__ \__  ) (\ \___
  >          (___)))__))(__))(__)))
  >
  >  One Sunday morning William burst into the living room and said, "Dad!
  >  Mom!  I have some great news for you!  I am getting married to the most
  >  beautiful girl in town.  She lives a block away and her name is Susan.
  >
  >  After dinner, William's dad took him aside.  "Son, I have to talk with
  >  you. Your mother and I have been married 30 years.. She's a wonderful
  >  wife but she has never offered much excitement in the bedroom, so I
  >  used to fool around with women a lot.  Susan is actually your half-
  >  sister, and I'm afraid you can't marry her."
  >
  >  William was heart-broken.  After eight months he eventually started
  >  dating girls again.  A year later he came home and very proudly
  >  announced, "Dianne said yes!  We're getting married in June."
  >
  >  Again his father insisted on another private conversation and broke the
  >  sad news.  "Dianne is your half-sister too, William.  I'm awfully sorry
  >  about this."
  >
  >  William was furious!  He finally decided to go to his mother with the
  >  news.
  >
  >  "Dad has done so much harm..  I guess I'm never going to get married,"
  >  he complained.  "Every time I fall in love, Dad tells me the girl is
  >  my half-sister."
  >
  >  His mother just shook her head.  "Don't pay any attention to what he
  >  says, dear.  He's not really your father!"