Subject: Be careful of what u might find when u r camping


  > WARNING.... Not for the feint hearted... I trust you will all have an
  > astoundingly better day than this poor loser does....
  >
  > Take a deep empathetic breath before you commence...
  >
  > Is there such a thing as safe pache?? Here's a late entry for the Darwin
  > Awards - an award generally given out posthumously for the most stupid way
  to
  > die -- if there is such a thing.
  >
  > A premed student from the University of Arizona was looking to score big
  with
  > his date on a Friday night. Determined to put the girl in the mood, he
  drove
  > her up to a spot on Mount Lemmon, which overlooked the city of Tucson.
  They
  > walked to an open knoll where they could see the city lights.  Overcome by
  > the romantic locale, she succumbed to his pleas and they stripped down,
  made
  > a bed of their clothes, and passionately began making love.
  >
  > The heavy storm clouds rolling overhead and the low rumble of thunder
  inside
  > them excited the lovers even more. At the first few flashes of lightning,
  > they never looked up to see the charred remains of once great trees. Their
  > idyllic clearing was a hotbed of electrical activity during the warm
  desert
  > nights.
  >
  > With a blinding light, a bolt of lightning struck the high point on the
  > knoll, which happened to be the premed student's ass, and sought the path
  of
  > least resistance -- straight down!
  >
  > Incredibly, he survived, but was in excruciating pain. The heat of the
  > lightning had fused together flesh and latex so that the lovers were now
  > stuck together like a pair of dogs. The girl, unfortunately, did NOT
  survive
  > the lightning strike! When the student looked down into the vacant eyes of
  > his girlfriend and realized she was dead; his immediate repulsion caused
  him
  > to jerk away from her, which of course, he couldn't!  A wave of pain and
  > nausea made him vomit into the girl's face and open mouth!
  >
  > Having only caused more pain and repeated vomiting until he finally passed
  > out.  Attracted by the smell of "food," a bear found its way to the
  Siamese
  > lovers and began to lick semi-digested pizza and Buffalo wings from the
  dead
  > girl's face. The student came to, but when he saw the bear, there was
  little
  > he could do but lay there silently in fear.  To his horror, the bear
  became
  > dissatisfied with just a lick and started to eat the girl, loudly
  crunching
  > her facial bones only inches from his ear. The bear also tasted the
  student,
  > scraping the back of his skull with its teeth, before moving on.
  >
  > Around midmorning a group of junior girl scouts, up for a fun weekend
  > camp-out, arrived at the campsite where the premed student's car was
  parked.
  > It was only a matter of minutes before three screaming girls discovered
  the
  > student, who had regained consciousness several times in the night and had
  > managed to drag himself and the partially eaten girl about 20-feet.
  >
  > Doctors managed to "successfully" separate the student from the corpse,
  but
  > Mr. Happy looked like a small piece of cauliflower in its flaccid state.
  The
  > first hint of arousal resulted in so much pain, that the student was
  > unable--and unwilling--to achieve an erection.
  >
  > Future surgeries may produce a reasonably functioning penis, but the
  > student's family jewels, referred to by the doctors as the "scrotum mass,"
  > are irreparable.
  >
  > Although most Darwin Awards are supposed to be won posthumously, we think
  > this guy deserves consideration since he successfully removed himself from
  > the gene pool.
  >
  >