Every time it rains
I fall to pieces
So many memories
The rain releases ~ "Everytime it Rains" Ace of Base

I can't help but sit at the window, staring out at the gentle shower of liquid crystal. Rain. I can't bear being in it, but that was worse than watching it. When it hits my skin, it burns. It burns my heart, my mind, my soul. It burns me more than anyone can imagine.

"The window again, Damon? You'll wither away here."

Alistair gently touches my numb fingers that are pushed up against the glass. I pull my hand away. My life is here now. Not back at home. Not back with the people I loved. Here.

"Just thinking. The rain helps me think." "Liar. The rain helps you cry. You think I can't see? I watch you cry. I watch you hurt. I know you inside and out. You just don't know it." And he winks at me, smiling delicately.

I'm at a loss. He knows me, inside and out. And somehow I can't challenge him. I can't question how, or why he knows me. We never spoke much about me, or about him even. He never seemed interested in talking about himself in the least bit, and I always avoided the subject of me quite deftly. But somehow I know he knows. He knows what I feel. He knows why I cry. He knows who I am. I'm in his arms suddenly, my own doing, my face buried in his shoulder, tears absorbed by the soft material. Just like he took in my heart and soul. I feel his fingers slipping through my hair, soothing.

"Don't forget that there's always sun following rain. And many times a rainbow."

I push my mind away from the debate on whether he's referring to the rainbow as something much better than usual or my homosexuality. Knowing him it's probably both.