The main steps on making a Final Fantasy game:

1. Think of having all graphics and very little gameplay.

2. Steal (oops, no) I mean "borrow" some "plot" elements from big-budget Hollywood flicks that sold out. Yeah that will make a plot.

3. Now, for the movie, oh, I mean "game" itself … start everything with very
visually interesting shots and full motion videos. Then introduce the main teenage characters (who look like they belong to an MTV show more than a Sci-Fi or Fantasy world). But remember, give the female characters, as well as the male characters some equal attention, so feminists won't go ape shit on Square-Enix like they did in the past with other video game companies.

4. Always have Chocobos, Moglies and a guy named Cid, so people will KNOW it is a Final Fantasy game. Oh, and add something like Summons in every game, but always give them different names in every game, such as Aeons or Phantom Beasts.

5A. Introduce an attractive character which is the opposite gender of the main character. Have him or her be as much of a Ken or Barbie doll as the main character.

5B. Oh, another note, you can add someone ugly in there, but give them an ugly boyfriend or girlfriend, so they won't "harrass" the sexy teen characters. Oh, and throw PLENTY of teen angst in the player's face until they vomit.

6. Introduce (Dun-dun DUN!!!) the villain. Usually, the villains fall into these categories: The betrayer, the insane one from outer space or a divine world, The mad scientist and the "not really evil, but amnesiac" villain (Despite the last, make the villain PURE EVIL). Make the villain (or villainess) appear in and out, so the heroes have to chase him or her around.

7. Have a main character or key character finally die as melodramatically as possible , so tears would fall from the audience and they coul hate the villain's guts some more.

8A. The main
character meets the
secondary attractive character of the
opposite gender. Flirt, flirt, flirt. Mush, mush, mush.

8B. However, if you want to add romantic scenes or sub-plots, do not go too far! Have the scene blacken out again, so yuo won't be threatened with the "ADULTS ONLY" label, becuase Teens would wanna play Final Fantasy ya know!

9. Now, add some special dungeons, side quests or mini-games as filler, so yuo won't "bore" the gamer. Make the music super up beat.

10. Now, the final dungeon. Make things eery, twisted, complex, dark or even maze like to frustrate the gamer, making sure that he or she knows it is the FINAL LEVEL. Oh, and add some "eery" music in there too!

11. Now, the final boss battle. Make the final boss be incarnated with four or five forms and have them cast spells like the heroes, only these spells will last like at least ten minutes long. Also get the final boss to interact with the main character as much as possible. Then have the final boss in the game die as slowly and melodramatically as possible.

12A. Now, the ending. Make it look tragic at first, to scare the gamers for a bit, but then make a plot twist, such as everyone living "Happily ever after ala. Disney style" or have one of the main characters missing and thinking of his or her own destiny.

12B. Also, for the ending, hire some hit topping Asian pop singers to sing the song (for the "Americanized version, change the lyrics to suit the dumb American gamers who don't appreciate other cultures) and have the song be sappy and lovey-dovey as much as possible. That will top some charts in the East and West in the video gaming world.

12C. Oh, don't forget to add 10 mile long
credits for the 75,921 lowly
employees.