THE BANISHED SUN NEWS...
Current Tabloids
Sunday Herald - Responsible for disinformation and the printing of the 'official' word. In other words, this paper contains a multitude of well worded lies.
Daily Star - Prints fantastic headlines concerning creatures from other worlds, repeated faked deaths, and powers that shape reality on a whim. Ridiculous.
The 5th of November - Replacing the underground newspaper 'The Lone Gunman' which mysteriously went out of print, the 5th tries to sift through the official misinformation and find the truth. You may judge their success for yourself.
Out of Print Tabloids
Weekly World News - Printed articles dealing with beings from other worlds, repeated faked deaths, and powers that shape reality on a whim much like the Daily Star. How absurd.
The Lone Gunman - An underground newspaper which mysteriously went out of print.
Available News Archives:
News Archives:
Headlines from the 'Sunday Herald'
Spread of 'Instant Alzheimer's Disease' - Public recommended to avoid physical contact.
Terrorist Warning - Public recommended to avoid unneccesary travel.
Headlines from the 'Weekly World News'
Cover Story: Startling evidence reveals Elvis and JFK were Siamese twins!
Other Stories: Devil returns to earth to spread plague!
Squid Boy found alive in Septic Tank - Shocking Pictures!
Headlines from the 'Lone Gunman'
Government Crackdown on recent Cult activity exposed.
Headlines from the 'Sunday Herald'
Corporate Merger by Stone Inc. finalized - Government analysts predict high growth rate
Terrorist Warning - Public recommended to avoid unnecessary travel.
Headlines from the 'Weekly World News'
Cover Story: Incredible new evidence proves Elvis shot JFK!
Other Stories: Elves sighted! Amazing Footage!
Secret Alien Androids Invade Carnival.
Headlines from the 'Lone Gunman'
Rumors of cybernetic soldiers substantiated.
Headlines from the 'Sunday Herald'
Hundreds killed in Terrorist bombing of crowded Mall.
Exclusive Club damaged in random terrorist attack - Public recommended to avoid unnecessary travel due to recent difficulties.
Headlines from the 'Weekly World News'
Cover Story: JFK and Elvis spotted at The Gideon Club! Amazing Photos!
Other Stories: Snake Men live in our sewers! Incredible Testimony!
Priest Van Bombs Posh Club! Photo of Note claiming he was ordered by Christ!
Headlines from the 'Lone Gunman'
Arab known only as Saddam killed in Mall bombing and sighted in Gideon Club - Link proved between terrorist attacks and secret Club.
Headlines from the 'Sunday Herald'
Accidental fire frees hundreds of inmates from Elijah Asylum.
Terrorists destroy industrial park.
Headlines from the 'Weekly World News'
Cover Story: Elvis had affair with JFK! Incredible Eyewitness Accounts!
Other Stories: Satan seen over Elijah Asylum! Unbelievable Photos!
Ghosts seen haunting Gideon Club! Bizarre but True!
Escapee from Elijah Asylum is actually a Wizard and is responsible for the destruction of an Industrial Park! Caught on Film!
Headlines from the 'Lone Gunman'
Link between Industrial Park destruction and Elijah Asylum discovered - Government involvement certain.
Headlines from the 'Sunday Herald'
Plague over. Fewer than a hundred casualties reported.
Terrorists responsible for bombing of Fleet Street Federal Building in custody.
Fleet Street declared radiation free. Government refutes claims that a nuclear device was used.
Headlines from the 'Weekly World News'
Elvis and JFK sighted riding down Kensington Street on twin stallions! Eyewitness Testimony!
New Cult arises! Tolkienists claim that The Return of the King predicted Elvis' return as well as his cloaked garb and stallion!
Bodies of Aliens found in Fleet Street Federal Building! Unbelievable Pictures!
Plague far more serious than reported. Evidence of government cover-up found.
Fleet Street bombing was done by a nuclear weapon. Proof of 'safe' nuclear power covered up by government.
Headlines from the 'Sunday Herald'
Caravan of gypsies quickly dispersed outside of Elbridge.
Large panther escapes from zoo. Report any sightings to local authorities.
Fleet Street clean-up nears completion.
Headlines from the 'Weekly World News'
Elvis and JFK seen in deserted Carnival! Amazing true story!
Bionic Woman sighted! Incredible eyewitness account!
Headlines from the 'Lone Gunman'
Bionic woman sighted. Part of top secret government project.
Gypsies in Elbridge carnival really extra terrestrial beings?
Headlines from the 'Sunday Herald'
Weather patterns deviate from predicted norms. Please restrict your movements to utilitarian activities only.
London Park to be closed for refurbishing. Strict penalties imposed upon all trespassers.
Headlines from the 'Weekly World News'
Cover Story: Elvis sighted in London park with JFK! Irrefutable Testimony!
Other Stories: Violent weather patterns predicted by Nostradamus! New manuscripts found!
Increased immigration into England the result of catastrophes in alien worlds! Beware your neighbor!
Headlines from the 'Lone Gunman'
Government research project taking place in London Park.
Strange weather result of secret weather control satellite.
Headlines from the 'Sunday Herald'
Weather patterns getting worse. All non governmental businesses to be closed until further notice.
Curfew imposed between the hours of 6PM and 6AM. Penalties for disobedience will be strict.
Headlines from the 'Weekly World News'
Cover Story: Storms clouds take likenesses of Elvis and JFK! Color Photos Inside!
Other Stories: Nostradamus predicts weather patterns to be the beginning of the end! Numerous Religious Persons feel the Endtimes are here!
Tornados reported which have ripped up reality!
Headlines from the 'Lone Gunman'
Government is trying to kill us all with weather control satellite.
Curfew is just the beginning of crackdown on civil liberties.
Headlines from the 'Sunday Herald'
Deadly Virus loose in England. Death Toll in the hundreds.
Schools closed and all non essential personal should check into medical shelters.
Headlines from the 'Weekly World News'
Cover Story: Elvis and JFK sighted by plague stricken individuals, 'They're welcoming us to Heaven!'
Other Stories: Current deadly plague is the first step to Alien Invasion! Exclusive!
Lycanthropes sighted in Hyde Park! Photos inside!
Headlines from the 'Lone Gunman'
Plague part of government cover-up.
Government agents sighted carrying first plague victims several days ago.
Headlines from the 'Sunday Herald'
Terrorist attack decimates Fleet Street with small nuclear weapon, killing hundreds.
Road blocks set up around London to catch escaping IRA saboteurs.
Headlines from the 'Weekly World News'
Elvis and JFK sighted escaping from terrorist attack in spaceship - Eyewitness account!
Leprechaun sighted fleeing Fleet Street - Secret informant claims it was hired by the IRA!
Alien invasion begun! Destruction of Federal Building the first stage of a Alien War!
Headlines from the 'Lone Gunman'
Attack on Federal Building justified by hideous illegal experiments taking place there.
New budding secret society responsible for Fleet Street attack.
Headlines from the 'Sunday Herald'
Escaped Panther stolen by Gypsies.
'Thief of the Rose' strikes at London Museum of Art leaving behind poetic clue.
Fleet Street rebuilding going quickly.
New work of Unknown artist to be shown at London Museum of Art.
Headlines from the 'Weekly World News'
Elvis and JFK create new masterpiece together. To be shown in London Museum of Art.
Space Gypsies take zoo animal off the planet to an intergalactic museum.
Headlines from the 'Lone Gunman'
Stolen panther used in illegal government experiments.
Fleet Street rebuilt with deadly arsenal.
Headlines from the 'Sunday Herald'
Dover quarantine ended. Water supply cleansed.
Vandals strike abandoned circus.
'Bermuda Triangle' disappearances unrelated, government officials claim.
Headlines from the 'Weekly World News'
Elvis and JFK clean up Dover water supply! Amazing footage!
Dreams of the Devil invade the minds of millions!
Demons responsible for poisoning Dover water! Incredible but True!
Headlines from the 'Lone Gunman'
Poisoned Dover water supply part of government population control.
Illegal experiments performed at Elijah Asylum.
Headlines from the 'Sunday Herald'
Sweeping reforms made to Elijah Asylum by new director, Delerium Greenmoon.
Unusual solar flares nothing to worry about, scientists claim.
Headlines from the 'Weekly World News'
Elvis and JFK seen talking with Director Greenmoon at Elijah Asylum! Incredible Photos!
Trained psychics claim that an aura of a posh men's club has appeared at Kensington Boulevard overlaying a high rise! Amazing testimony!
Four armed woman takes London trolley! Unbelievable but true!
Headlines from the 'Lone Gunman'
'Violent' takeover rumored to have placed Greenmoon as director of Elijah Asylum. Ties with Discordians rumored.
Men's Club aura at Kensington Boulevard proof of existence of reality altering devices.
Solar flares evidence of aliens tampering with Sol.
Headlines from the 'Sunday Herald'
Tehero Enterprises, Ltd. new Entertainment Sphere package is sweeping the nation.
Stricter controls on London populous leads to numerous resettlements to lessen population growth in the already huge metropolis.
Headlines from the 'Weekly World News'
Elvis and JFK both seen relaxing with Entertainment Spheres! Eyewitness Accounts!
Infomercial for Tehero Mind Numb-er package can lead you to a better life say gifted psychics! Incredible Testimony!
Armored Warriors stalk Elbridge! Amazing Footage!
Headlines from the 'Lone Gunman'
Entertainment Spheres a government plot to mind control populace. Photos of armed encampment that house their manufacture inside.
London residents led on forced march to Dover to resettle. The foreshadowing of government sponsored genetic cleansing is obvious.
Headlines from the 'Sunday Herald'
Tehero Enterprises, Ltd. pulls back massive ad and sales campaign despite public outcry for their inventions. Stocks skyrocket.
Government resettlement plan going smoothly.
Rumors of adversarial religious cults starting up in Elbridge wholly unfounded, officials claim.
Headlines from the 'Weekly World News'
Elvis seen preaching 'Red is coming.’ JFK sighted proclaiming 'Yellow is coming' and Hoffa viewed shouting, 'Brown is coming'. Eyewitness testimony from Elbridge residents!
Nostradamus predicts End of the World with Gods walking the streets! New prophecies revealed!
Wizards and Warriors spotted in northern woods! Amazing but true reports!
Headlines from the 'Lone Gunman'
Commandos spotted in Elbridge suspected of being part of the Tehero Conspiracy.
Government manhunt for a man code named Dweller continues. Dweller should be sheltered from their evil.
True photos of Dover resettlement ghettos inside. 'Resettlement' program is a lie.
No newspapers from Banished Sun are circulating shadow lately, though any who pass through that neck of the woods noticed that access out of Elbridge to the rest of that Shadow is being restricted by an well-armed encampment of soldiers who apparently have placed Elbridge and the surrounding woods under martial law. Access to and from all the local shadowpaths are still being allowed however.
Headlines from the 'Sunday Herald'
Recent terrorist attacks on Dover and Elbridge blamed on radical IRA faction.
British Troops safeguard Elbridge, keeping the peace for a week before leaving without incident.
Entertainment Spheres production in Elbridge halted during the 'occupation'.
Headlines from the 'Weekly World News'
Elvis and JFK seen destroying phone lines in Dover! Incredible pictures inside!
Molemen from beneath the Earth's core sighted in Elbridge! Amazing testimony!
Recent 'terrorist' attacks really the work of alien invaders! Startling true facts!
Headlines from the 'Lone Gunman'
'British' Troops in Elbridge not officially part of the Armed Forces. Actually secret government hit squad.
IRA not responsible for attack on Dover. Really a plot to cull population to prepare for relocated refugees from London.
Molemen actually a government sponsored genetics experiment gone awry.
Headlines from the 'Sunday Herald'
Tehero Enterprises stocks rising sharply.
Dover relocation program proceeding without incident.
Naval vessel attacked with only one survivor. Drug cartels blamed and navy presence in surrounding waters are increased.
Headlines from the 'Weekly World News'
Elvis and JFK give 'thumbs up' to Tehero Enterprises Entertainment package! Amazing photos inside!
Navy ship actually attacked by beautiful Alien killer! Eyewitness testimony from lone survivor!
Subway system beneath Dover haunted! Incredible camera footage!
Headlines from the 'Lone Gunman'
Tehero Enterprises detractor Greenmoon changes her mind about the company suddenly. Mind control suspected cause for the decision.
Dover 'concentration camp' policies continue unabated. Relocation still a farce.
Corpse filled naval vessel part of government cover-up of alien activities. Nearly full skeleton removed from one of the crewman by the alien. Stolen photos included.
Headlines from the 'Sunday Herald'
Drug trafficking on the rise in Dover.
Several disappearances in Dover lead to police investigation. No suspects found as of yet.
New overseas company Yamatetsu Corporation opens branch in Dover. Hundreds of new jobs foreseen.
Headlines from the 'Weekly World News'
Elvis and JFK seen fighting in Elbridge cemetery! Photos and official blood analysis proves it!
Madonna's child's father really a hideous monster! Photos of her and her child with a gray, winged, red eyed gargoyle inside!
Man nagged to death! Picture of corpse with a pale young woman dressed in black, seemingly oblivious to the body's condition as she jabbers!
Headlines from the 'Lone Gunman'
Bloodstains reported in Elbridge cemetery evidence of an alien abduction. Government cover-up suspected.
Yamatetsu sponsored technology the beginning of Alien integration into Earth society.
Tehero - government connection proven. Details inside.
Headlines from the 'Sunday Herald'
Bank Robbery in London causes death of dozens. Police report suspects are in custody.
Strange lights around Elbridge cemetery attributed to swamp gas.
Recent raven migration not a cause for concern, leading ornithologists report.
Headlines from the 'Weekly World News'
Return of Elvis and JFK prophesized! Startling photos show hundreds of ravens in flocks that greatly resemble faces of both legendary figures!
Robin Hood steals from London and gives to the poor! Eyewitness testimony tells of the hooded bank robber who gave him 500 pounds on the subway!
Cemetery near Elbridge haunted! Incredible interviews with man who saw Count Dracula!
Headlines from the 'Lone Gunman'
Recent raven sightings actually government tests. Ravens part of top secret Project: Blackbird.
Bank robbery in London is a response to recent fascist government activity. The people are striking back!
Elbridge cemetery activity actually contact point for Aliens and government agents. Men in Black seen combing the area.
Headlines from the 'Sunday Herald'
Rash of jewel thefts plague Dover. Police baffled.
Yamatetsu rated fastest growing business in England, experts claim.
Headlines from the 'Weekly World News'
Elvis and JFK sighted in Elbridge graveyard! Incredible Government Photos!
Ferret Girl sighted! Is it a relative of Batboy? Experts disagree!
Angels are sighted in Elbridge! Hundreds flock to catch sight of one!
Robin Hood strikes in Dover! Eyewitness accounts!
Headlines from the 'Lone Gunman'
Increased government activity near Elbridge graveyard. Is an alien invasion imminent?
Angel sightings a smoke screen for alien landings.
Continued thefts in Dover are IRA supported. Deaths caused in the incidents go officially unrecognized.
Headlines from the 'Sunday Herald'
D&S Studios shoots footage of new UFO movie in Dover.
Business outlook continues to grow for impoverished areas of England.
Terrorist threat in Elbridge ended without incident.
Headlines from the 'Weekly World News'
Elvis and JFK spotted in Elijah Asylum! Amazing but True!
Alien Invaders attack Dover! Actual Film Footage!
Vatican Inquisitors seen in Elbridge! Eyewitness Testimony!
Rock Men of Elbridge! Incredible photos of the aftermath of a Rock Man attack in Elbridge!
Headlines from the 'Lone Gunman'
D&S Studios participate in government cover up of terrorist attack.
Director of Elijah Asylum vanishes mysteriously and reappears suddenly. Has Delerium Greenmoon been replaced by a clone?
Church police sighted in Elbridge. What religious artifacts are they searching for?
Headlines from the 'Sunday Herald'
Unemployment rate falls once more. Experts claim the Dover Relocation Program an unqualified success.
Lawyer Chelsey Anderson falls under suspicion of having ties to organized crime. She was unavailable for comment.
Troop movements in Elbridge part of counter-terrorist drill.
Headlines from the 'Weekly World News'
Elvis and JFK sighted among government troops! Incredible photos!
Dreams of a Dark Man haunt millions! The end is nigh, experts claim!
Vampires are among us! Incredible interview with a vampire hunter!
Headlines from the 'Lone Gunman'
Troops identified as human clones that came from the Scottish cloning laboratories.
Dreams of the Dark Man part of a secret government dream control operation.
Charges against Chelsey Anderson part of a government plot to discredit her.
Headlines from the 'Sunday Herald'
More troop exercises for Royal Army in the Elbridge woods.
Police report an increase in illegal immigration. They advise avoiding contact with these 'undesirables'.
Street gang crime on the rise in Dover. Officials suggest honest citizens remain in doors after dark.
Headlines from the 'Weekly World News'
Elvis and JFK arrested for illegally being in the country! They left their passports in Heaven! Amazing testimony!
Cult activity on the rise! Incredible photos of strange robed men!
Lucas was right! Clone wars begin in Elbridge! Bizarre but true footage!
Headlines from the 'Lone Gunman'
More 'troop exercises' a cover up of defensive measures against impending alien invasion.
Occult activity on the rise but is being ignored by the government. Possible Masons connection?
Dozens of disappearances in Dover alone during the past month. Police deny the truth.
Headlines from the 'Sunday Herald'
New drug hits the streets. 'Rose' is being cracked down upon immediately by the authorities that promise all action possible will be taken.
The government has issued a health advisory. A strange disease has struck Dover, reducing inhibitions. Many residents have been shipped out for their own protection.
Red Light sniper captured after month long police investigation.
Headlines from the 'Daily Star'
'Orgy' disease a secret Royal attempt to reconciliate Charles and Di! Incredible testimony!
Man bites head off dog! Amazing photos!
Discordians claim a lone force has taken control of world leaders! Cryptic secrets revealed!
Headlines from 'The 5th of November'
Lone Gunman mysteriously vanish. Foul play involved.
American Security Council member vanishes. Thoughts on who assassinated him inside.
'Orgy' drug is variant on Mad Cow disease. The government ignores facts and continues to allow it to spread.
Mysterious Doctor at Rockfield House sighted. Possible government connections.
Headlines from the 'Sunday Herald'
Fire breaks out in woods near Elbridge. Careless camping practices blamed.
Leads still sought in the disappearance of researcher Herbert West.
Explosions in Dover result of government crackdown on illegal drug facilities. No civilian casualties reported.
Headlines from the 'Daily Star'
Dr. Greenmoon suspected in death of Di! Photos of her affair with Charles inside!
Vampires complain Elbridge fire is result of supernatural battle! Lawsuits pending!
Psychics claim unstable Magic energies threaten Elbridge! May be spreading!
Headlines from 'The 5th of November'
Explosions in Dover part of massive cover up of world wide conspiracy.
Disappearance of Dr. West last seen in cemetery near Elbridge. Numerous recent disappearances there as well.
Stock Market drop result of warfare between two groups of Secret Masters.
Headlines from the 'Sunday Herald'
Benevolent non profit organization Cragvale Enterprises buys food and supplies for war orphans.
Crime in Dover down for first time in years.
Elijah Asylum gates reopen.
Headlines from the 'Daily Star'
Greenmoon has nothing to do with Di's death! Secret documents point elsewhere!
Monster kidnaps American from her home in Elbridge! Fantastic photos!
Ancient hero returns to battle crime in Dover! Amazing eyewitness testimony!
Headlines from 'The 5th of November'
Cragvale Enterprises supplies not going to any known location. What is their secret?
'Crime fighter' in Dover is really part of a government assassin training program.
Mysterious figure sighted near Daily Star headquarters a day before they renounced their Greenmoon/Diana theories. Who was he?
Headlines from the 'Sunday Herald'
Matsuda Corporation pitches in with Cragvale Enterprises' relief efforts.
Less and less homeless on the streets of Dover. Social reform programs heralded as a success.
Latest reports indicate terrorism is dropping world wide.
Headlines from the 'Daily Star'
Sorcerers Union says their Magic is failing them! Incredible photos of failed Magic use!
Unknown agents visit Elijah Asylum! Eyewitness testimony indicates one of them was a Mandroid!
Terrorists taken by aliens! Amazing pictures inside!
Headlines from 'The 5th of November'
Urgent meetings held by notable figures in the occult world. Reasons unknown.
Drop in terrorism due to consolidation of forces. Worst is yet to come.
Lack of homeless in Dover streets due to culling operation, not social reform.
Headlines from the 'Sunday Herald'
New line of cereals and snacks big hit with price-conscious parents and taste-conscious children alike.
Recent fires outside of Elbridge due to careless campers. Local fire departments warn 'Only you can prevent forest fires'.
Stock Market trading at record high during last quarter.
Headlines from the 'Daily Star'
Aliens sighted above Felsham Hall in Elbridge! Local broadcasters speak out!
Recent Elbridge fires really Satanic rituals! Incredible photos of NUDE worshippers!
Ghostly motorcycle rider sighted in Dover and then mysteriously vanishes! Amazing eyewitness accounts!
Headlines from the '5th of November'
Massive amounts of nuclear material bought by mysterious group. Is nuclear Armageddon close at hand?
Six degrees of separation from Stone links B-movie mogul to Buffalo super bowl losses.
Recent news story of 'The Felsham aliens' covered up by government. What are they hiding?
Headlines from the 'Sunday Herald'
British Prime Minister meets with American President in Dover to discuss new tactics in the War Against Terrorism.
Juveniles charged with multiple counts of cemetery desecration in Elbridge. Local law enforcement vows that justice will be served for the deceased and their families.
New slogan announced for Dotty's Donuts of Dover: "Changing the world, one fresh-baked bear claw at a time.
Headlines from the 'Daily Star'
Angels sighted above the cemeteries in Elbridge! Amazing photos inside!
American President really an alien puppet. World domination plans begin in Dover! Testimony and eye witness accounts inside!
Time distortions reported in Elbridge! Are secret military experiments to blame?! Read the incredible story!
Headlines from the '5th of November'
Movie producer, Ben Stone’s visits with major league baseball owner, George Steinbrenner, linked to New York Yankees World Series Loss to the Florida Marlins.
Recent stories of Angels sighted in Elbridge really a government cover up. What sort of satanic rituals are they trying to hide?
Headlines from the 'Sunday Herald'
Business District Boom! Real estate prices on the rise. Mayor vows that construction of new Hotel will not affect parking.
Gang related shootings on the rise in Dover . Police presence to be increased in the wake of ongoing violence.
Bush campaign more thought out then war in the Middle East? Oxford students voice in at a Round table discussion this Saturday. Free admission for students. $15 for the public.
Headlines from the 'Daily Star'
Half woman, half feline creature spotted in Elbridge! Fantastic photos inside!
New home shopping channel makes use of subliminal messaging? Sales rise! Testimony and eye witness accounts inside!
Deceased Beatle, John Lennon, performs at a local pub?! Read the incredible story!
Headlines from the '5th of November'
New hotel constructed atop alien spacecraft. Military to use facilities for storage and testing. General denies truth.
Recent stories of gang activity in Dover really a government attempt to conceal the truth about experimental drug testing on the Red Light District's homeless.
Dehydrated human corpses are the latest victims of modern day vampirism. Local authorities deny the evidence.
Headlines from the Daily Star
Brad Pitt seen in real British 'Fight Club'! An ex-member tells all!
Man attacked by Pizza! Amazing eyewitness testimony of attack from above!
Bodies found in Westminster Abbey cemetery! Ghostly killer suspected, say experts!
Headlines from the Sunday Herald
Hooligans wanted for questioning for causing accidents with bottles and food thrown from rooftops.
Rumors of real 'Fight Club' in Dover said to be false, police say.
Several arrests made of suspected terrorists due to bodies of military personel found in Westminster Abbey cemetery.
Headlines from the 5th of November
Dead military personel killed to keep them quiet about government cover up.
Dover Fight Clubs are really designed to weed out the best fighters to use for illegal military operations by government.
Mysterious agent code named Famine seen lurking about Westminster Abbey.