Near-Death Experience
Yoji stood alone on the balcony attached to his small apartment. He was in his own world, completely oblivious to his surrounding environment, despite the driving, icy rain, which threatened to turn to sleet any moment, and fierce, biting wind. He sighed and lit another cigarette. He fumbled with the lighter and, shielding it from the weather, managed to get the thing lit. Then he tossed it off the balcony down into the dark alleyway below. "I really should quit. Stupid things'll kill ya..." He wondered if maybe death would be better than his current situation- he'd killed the only woman he could ever truly love with his own hands! Aya and the others were still convinced that Neu and Asuka were "two completely separate entities," as Omi put it, but in his heart, Yoji knew that just before he'd killed her, there had been a flicker in Neu's cold, dark eyes. He still remembered them as laughing, bright and unguarded. But that was all over now. Because of him. He'd killed her. Death would be better. Before he'd come out on the balcony, he'd retrieved his old police issue gun from its place in the drawer, without really knowing why. Or perhaps he'd known why all along. He now took it from the ledge on which he'd been leaning. He checked the clip: it was nearly full. Good- though he'd only need one bullet. With a trembling hand he lifted it to his temple. "I'll see you soon, Asuka." Just as he tightened his finger to pull the trigger, a long, powerful hand jerked his wrist down and a muscular arm wrapped around his waist from behind, pulling him out of the path of a bullet. "Yoji... don't," a deep voice said from over his shoulder. But behind that stern command, Yoji could hear a rare pleading. "Why?" "Please... Weiß would fall apart without you," Aya said quietly. "Che... yeah right," Yoji said bitterly. "All I've ever done is kill people." Aya let out a wry laugh. "Sorry to disillusion you, Yoji-kun, but that's all any of us have done." Then he was serious. "But, what I mean is, you've kept everyone grounded in reality enough that we all didn't do... well, what you were going to do." Aya relaxed his strong grip on Yoji's wrist just a fraction, and Yoji dropped the gun. It seemed to fall in slow motion and clattered to the stamped metalbeneath their feet. Aya permitted himself a miniscule sigh of relief. Yoji turned his head slightly so could see the one who'd saved him from himself out of he corner of his eye. Aya could see, even in the dim lighting, a few tears trickling down his friend's pale cheeks. "I killed her, Aya." Yoji's voice trembled, and he choked down a sob. "I killed her twice!" Memories of that awful day flooded his mind and were instantly pushed down. "No you didn't. You saved her from the hell she was living," Aya whispered into Yoji's ear. "I wish I could believe that." Yoji sighed. "Why'd you come here?" Aya was startled at this question. "I needed to talk to someone... and you were the only one I thought would understand." Aya's strong grip faltered and both of his arms came to rest around Yoji's waist, his chest pressed against the firm muscles of Yoji's back. Yoji gently freed himself from Aya's embrace, encircling his wrists with his hands, and twisting to face him. "What do you need to talk about?" Yoji asked quietly. Aya looked at his feet. When he looked up, his eyes displayed some stangled emotion which Yoji could not read. Fear? Shame? Doubt? Sorrow? Rage? Yoji realized that whatever mix of emotions shone in Aya's violet eyes was perfectly mirrored by his own piercing jade ones. "My- my sister. What if I never find her?" Aya's deep voice trembled for the first time Yoji had heard. "That does not even need to be taken into account, Aya," Yoji said, gathering his strength so he could be strong for his friend. He forced Aya to meet his gaze. "Because it is not an option. She will be found, no matter what measures need to be taken." The two friends faced eachother on the small metal balcony, still ignoring the now-pouring rain and thick fog which was settling over that part of Tokyo. Yoji recapped the situation. "What if Aya had gotten here a split-second later?" It was all very strange, almost melodramatic: Aya had come over seeking comfort, and had stopped Yoji from killing himself. Great. Yoji was brought back to reality by Aya's intense gaze, and he gathered his thoughts. "I don't know what journey you'll have to take, Aya-kun, but you won't have to make it alone." owari |