******Episode 22****** VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV#########V#VVVV#VV#####VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV#VVVVV#VVVV#VV#VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV#VVVVV######VV####VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV#VVVVV#VVVV#VV#VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV#VVVVV#VVVV#VV#####VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV ######VVVVVVV##VVVVVVV##VVVVVVV######VVV#########VV######VVVV######VV #VVVVVVVVVVVV##VVVVVVV##VVVVVVV#VVVVV#VVVVVV#VVVVVV#VVVVV#VVV#VVVVVVV #VVVVVVVVVVV#VV#VVVVV#VV#VVVVVV#VVVVV#VVVVVV#VVVVVV#VVVVV#VVV#VVVVVVV #####VVVVVV#VVVV#VVV#VVVV#VVVVV######VVVVVVV#VVVVVV######VVVV#####VVV #VVVVVVVVV#VVVVVV#V#VVVVVV#VVVV#VVVVVVVVVVVV#VVVVVV#VVVVV#VVV#VVVVVVV #VVVVVVVV#VVVVVVVV#VVVVVVVV#VVV#VVVVVVVVVVVV#VVVVVV#VVVVVV#VV#VVVVVVV ######VV#VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV#VV#VVVVVVVV#########VV#VVVVVVV#V######VV VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV 'Who says sequals are bad? Just read this issue!' WHEN WE LAST LEFT OUR HEROES, THEY HAD JUST HIRED A NEW RECRUIT. LET'S SEE IF HE'S FUNNY IN THIS ISSUE... OH, AND YES, THE SETTING...UM...WELL, GEE, I'M NOT REAL SURE OF THE SETTING. Imperial Commando: Pssst, it's on the third Death Star. WHAT? Imperial Commando: I SAID it's on the third Death Star. COME AGAIN? Imperial Commando: Look Mr. Hard of hearing, I SAID it's on the third DEATH STAR! WHAZZAT? Imperial Commando: THE THIRD DEATH STAR!!!!! EXUSE US LADIES AND GENTLEMEN... AND THOSE OF YOU THAT ACTUALLY READ THIS, IMPERIAL COMMANDO SEEMS TO BE HAVING TROUBLE SPEAKING IF YOU'LL EXCUSE US FOR A MOMENT, THAT WOULD- ACKK! Imperial Commando: Man, I like last week's narrator, didn't you? HI, I'M FROM LAST WEEK, AND THE SETTING IS THE THIRD DEATH STAR... Darth Vader: Well John, are you ready? John: You betcha'! Darth Vader: Good. Now, we begin our meeting. First item on the agenda, plan out the attack. I don't think we need to do that... We always just make it up as we go along anyway. Imperial Commando: Hey Darth, I was thinking... Darth Vader: Don't do that! You'll hurt yourself! Imperial Commando: (glares at Darth Vader) You sound like that RebelPilot guy I once had guest star... Not a very good actor if you ask ME, but- Darth Vader: Hey! Imperial Commando, DON'T look at the camera. Imperial Commando: Since when are YOU Imperial Commando? Darth Vader: Well, see, I've had a problem with people looking at the camera lately, so it's got a little photoreceptor censor thingy that no one understands how it works, but basically, when you look at it long enough, it'll shoot you. Imperial Commando:(quickly turning away from the camera) Gee, thanks for telling me you little- I INTERRUPT THIS E-ZINE, SORT OF LIKE I DID LAST WEEK, BECAUSE OF SOME LANGUAGE THAT IS INAPPROPRIATE FOR USAGE IN THIS LITTLE E-ZINE... WE, OR *I* TAKE YOU BACK TO YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED E-ZINE... I HOPE YOU DIDN'T MISS ANYTHING IMPORTANT LIKE LAST WEEK... WHICH REMINDS ME...OH NEVERMIND, THIS IS THE KIND OF DELAYING THAT IMPERIAL COMMANDO FIRES FOR, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? Imperial Commando: ~~~~~~~Thank you, thank you~~~~~~ Comments? Questions? Flames? My e-mail is: imperial_commando@hotmail.com so feel free to e-mail me! The Empire is a free weekly E-(something), based on the adventures of Darth Vader, The Emperor, and the rest of the Empire Feel free to forward this mailing to any friends of yours who like Star Wars. Heck, save yourself the trouble, and get them to subscribe! If you didn't like this issue, I'll be funny next week, I promise Everything on here is © 2000 Imperial Commando, unless otherwise specified. If you want to use a bit of humor, tell me that you're doing it, and put my name by it if you can wherever you're putting it. To subscribe: the-empire-subscribe@egroups.com To UNsubscribe(remember that time when you kissed a wookie? Well, this would be worse.): the-empire-unsubscribe@egroups.com -Imperial Commando