The Camping Nightmare

By GG Bayley
Email: [email protected]

"Car's all packed," Hunter announced as he stepped through the door of
the house. "You about ready to go, baby?"

"Just about." Chris Jericho walked into the room, carrying a backpack
and sleeping. He gave Hunter a peck on the cheek, then set his things
down. "We just have to wait a few more minutes."

"Why? I'll just throw these in the car and we can be off," Hunter
stated, picking up his boyfriend's bags.

"Um, well, no we can't," Chris replied, tugging nervously on his ear.
"We should wait a few more minutes."

Hunter set the bags back down, walking over to Chris and wrapping his
arms around the other man's waist. "I don't want to wait a few more
minutes," he announced. "I want to get there as soon as we can, baby,
so we have plenty of time for just us. I can't wait. It'll be so nice
to finally have a weekend just to ourselves, away from all the guys."

Chris laughed nervously, clearing his throat. "Um, Hunter, well you
see, uh, the thing is - "

Hunter frowned, his face darkening. "Oh no. You invited someone else
along, didn't you?"

Chris shot his boyfriend an apologetic look. "I'm sorry?" he offered.

Hunter sighed, picking up Chris' bags again and turning towards the
door. "I guess I'd better clear out the back seat, then. Just as long
as you didn't invite - "

"Hellloooo! Hunter! Jerky! We're here!" called a merry voice from the
door.

"Them," Hunter finished, groaning as Edge and Christian stepped into
the house.

"Hey guys!" Edge, who had spoken before, said in a friendly tone.
"Isn't this going to be fun? All of us buddies out on a camping trip
to the wilderness!"

"Hey Hunter, Chris," Christian greeted shyly, as quiet as ever. He
leaned against Edge, stroking the protective arm the other man had
wrapped around his waste.
"Hi," Hunter greeted, faking a smile, then pulling Chris aside. "Why,
why, why did you have to invite them?" he hissed. "Now they're gonna
be kissing a cuddling and talking baby talk to each other all weekend!
Not to mention how horrible the drive up with be!" He sighed and shook
his head. "Thank goodness we've at least got a separate tent!"

"Um, Hunter, actually, well, about that," Chris began nervously, "I
thought it was kind of stupid for us to bring up a bunch of tents and
have to both with setting them all up, so now we're just all gonna
share one big tent."

Hunter stared at his boyfriend. "Please, please, please tell me you're
kidding!" he exclaimed.

"Sorry, but I'm not." Chris shrugged. "Come on, Hunter, it won't be so
bad!"

"Yes it will! What about - well, you know." Hunter cleared his throat,
looking a little embarrassed.

Chris blushed scarlet. "Well I didn't really think that we would be -
you know. Did you really expect us to have our first time in a tent?"

Hunter shrugged. "Works for me."

Chris rolled his eyes. "Anything would work for you. Now come on, lets
not keep our friends waiting."

"Your friends," Hunter muttered, reluctantly following his boyfriend.



Several hours' drive later, the car pulled up at the campground, the
four men piling out of the car. Hunter slammed his door closed,
looking more than a little annoyed. "Edge, if I here one more word out
of your mouth, I'm going to strangle you!" he barked. "For god's sake,
stop talking for five minutes!"

Edge stepped out of the car, crossing his arms over his chest. "If
you're going to talk to me that way, don't expect me to help you
unload the car!"

"Fine! Don't! Just shut up!" Hunter told him.

Christian and Chris exchanged glances, shook their heads, then
followed their men out of the car. "Come on baby, let's go sit at that
picnic table," Christian said, taking Edge's hand and leading him over
to the campsite's table.

"You see? What did I tell you?" Hunter shot at Chris, gesturing to the
blondes, who began to make out almost instantly. Chris just rolled his
eyes, helping Hunter pull the tent and sleeping bag out of the car.
All four men looked up when another car pulled up beside their
campsite. Hunter's eyes widened as he watched the driver set out. "Oh,
god no..." he muttered.

"Hey everyone," Rob Van Damn greeted. "Sorry we're late. I stopped by
your house first, but I guess you left before I got there, so I just
decided to drive up myself."

"What do you mean `we'?" Hunter asked suspiciously.

"Well, when I stopped by your house I found another guy who said you
left without him, so I gave him a ride," Rob explained.

"It was a great ride too," Shane "Hurricane" Helms smirked as he
climbed out of the passenger side of the car.

Rob frowned at him. "A ride up here in the car," he clarified.

Shane shrugged, hauling his sleeping bag out of the back. "Anyway,
this camping trip of gonna be so much fun!"

"NO ONE invited you!" Hunter cried, who was not at all happy at the
idea of spending the weekend with his ex, especially when his new
boyfriend was there as well. "Right?" he asked, glaring in Chris'
direction.

"Believe me, I didn't invite him!" Chris insisted. "Like I would want
him around."

"Well, I'm here!" Shane grinned, setting his things down. "And I'm not
going anywhere, so deal with it."

Chris frowned, deciding to ignore Shane and turning to Rob. "Come to
think of it, I don't think I invited you either!"

"They did," Rob explained, pointing to Edge and Christian.

"Oh yeah!" Edge laughed. "I so totally forgot! Sorry I didn't tell you
Chris."

Chris just sighed. "It's ok," he muttered. "Come on and help me set up
the tent, Rob. Since you're here, you might as well be useful.


Hours later, the six men were crammed into the tent. It was a tight
fit, but somehow they had managed it. The fact that Christian was
lying practically on top of Edge, sharing kisses with him every now
and then, helped relieve the lack of space a little bit. They had all
sat around outside until it had gotten dark and the mosquitoes had
come out, forcing them to retire into the tent. At the moment, they
were trying to make polite conversation, and at the same time trying
to ignore the ominous rumbling from the approaching storm.
Edge and Christian were making out off and on, Hunter glaring at Shane
while Shane wiggled his eyebrows and made suggestive faces at him, Rob
eyeing up pretty much everyone in the tent and watching Edge and
Christian with keen interest when they were making out, while Chris
did his best to keep a light conversation going. The tension in the
tent was almost thick enough to cut with a knife.

"It's gonna be raining in a second," Shane commented. "If anybody
wants anything from the cars, better get it now!"

"I've got all I want right here," Edge murmured, brushing his lips
across Christian ear just as the rain began to fall.

Christian smiled, leaning into Edge's touch. He frowned when he felt a
wet drip hit him right in the forehead. "Why am I getting wet?" he
asked, sitting up and frowning when another drop hit him.

"Hey, I'm getting wet too!" Rob complained.

"Me too!" Shane whined.

"Oh shit!" Chris smacked himself in the forehead, a disparaging look
crossing his face. "I forgot to put the rain fly on the tent!"

"Aw, fuck!" Hunter muttered, as the rain began to pour in. "Run for
the cars!"

They all ran for the car, Rob and Shane jumping into Rob's car, the
other four diving into Hunter's car. Hunter and Chris snatched the
rain fly, running through the pouring run and quickly securing it so
the tent wouldn't get any wetter than it already was. Unfortunately,
the rain was coming down so heavily that every single thing in the
tent was already completely soaked. Chris and Hunter summoned Rob and
Shane into their car, the six of them holding an emergency conference
on what to do.

"Well all I know is that we're not staying in that soaking tent!" Edge
stated, wrapping a protective arm around Christian. "My baby could
catch a chill, and I just WON'T have that!"

"I could catch a chill too," Shane Helms pouted, moving a bit closer
to Hunter, ignoring the threatening glare Chris shot in his direction.
"Can't we just go to a hotel or something?"

Chris shook his head. "Use your brain Helms. Did you see any places to
stay on the way up? There isn't a hotel within an hours drive of here!
That's why we picked this place; it's in the middle of nowhere."

"Why don't we just sleep in the cars then?" Hunter muttered. "I'm damn
tired and I'm sick of this arguing! I just want to sleep!"

Chris made a face. "We're gonna be REALLY stiff after a night in the
car," he complained.

"This is your fault anyway," Helms growled, glaring at Chris. "I say
we kick Chris out of the car! That way the rest of us have more room."

"Fuck you!" Chris cried. "No one asked you along on this trip in the
first place! You're just a jealous bitch trying to get Hunter back!"

"I am not!" Helms yelled. "If you think that it's just `cos your
insecure! Which you probably SHOULD be, because from the way I saw
your man eying up Christian, you're just not keeping him happy! Not
surprising, `cos I bet you're just tight assed bitch in bed. You do
know that you're supposed to MOVE during sex, right!"

"You bitch!" Chris lunged for Helms, stopped only by Hunter wrapping
his arms around his waist and holding his lover tight.

"You two stop it!" Hunter chastised. "Just calm down! We're all wet
and we're all in a bad mood, but this sure as hell isn't going to
help."

" `Tight assed bitch'," Chris muttered, glaring daggers at his rival.
"I'll fucking show you `tight assed bitch'!" He turned in Hunter's
arm, wrapping his arms around the tall blonde's neck and pulling him
into a passionate kiss. At the same time he straddled the other man's
lap, grinding himself against his lover. "I am fucking AWESOME in
bed!" Chris shot back at Helms. "If you don't believe me, I'll fuck
him right here and show you just how much he likes it!"

"Would you stop!" Hunter pushed Chris off of him, glowering at both of
them. "You are both being immature little bitches!" He stopped
suddenly, blinking and looking around. "Hey, were did the other guys
go?" he wondered aloud.



Meanwhile, Rob was situation quite comfortably between Edge and
Christian in the back seat of his car. "So, guys," he murmured,
looping his arms around both their shoulders. "What do you want to
do?"

"Go home!" Christian exclaimed. "I'm fucking cold!"

"Baby, we don't want to ruin our whole weekend!" Edge told his lover.
"I promise I'll warm you up later. But first we need to find someone
dry to sleep. And not the car. Chris is right, we'll be sore as hell
if we do that, and I know I won't get a wink of sleep."

Rob glanced between them, grinning wickedly. "Why don't we just go
find someone with a big tent and ask if we can share."

Edge raised his eyebrows. "Seriously?"

"Yeah!" Rob shrugged. "What've we got to loose."

"Well..." Christian chuckled. "You know, it's worth a shot. Go ahead
Rob."

Rob frowned. "You want me to go?"

Christian nodded. "No sense in all of us trooping around in our wet
things. Besides, that would give Edge a chance to warm we up." He
grinned, winking at his lover.

"Maybe I should just stay here for a while and warm you both up," Rob
suggested.

Edge shook his head. "I think you need to do it right away, Rob. And
while you're doing that, Christian and I will think of other things we
could do if that doesn't work out."

Rob looked between the two blondes, sighing when he saw they were
serious. "Fine, fine," he muttered, climbing over Edge. "I'll be back
as soon as I can," he told them, quickly heading off to search for a
large, dry tent.



"Hunter!" Chris peered out the car window. "Where is Rob going?"

"How should I know?" Hunter replied.

"Well go find out!" Chris ordered.

"Why do I have to go?" Hunter complained.

Chris put his hands on his hips. "Because you're the biggest, toughest
man here and you're supposed to protect the smaller guys!"

"If I leave you two alone you'll kill each other!" Hunter exclaimed.

"I'll behave myself. Now get!" Chris ordered, slapping Hunter's ass as
his boyfriend reluctantly climbed out of the car. As soon as Hunter
was gone, Chris turned to Helms and spoke.



In the other car, Edge and Christian were busy making out. "Thank god
we finally got rid of Rob!" Edge exclaimed, running his hands over
Christian's well defined back. "I've been dying to touch you forever!"

"Mmm," Christian murmured, closing his eyes and enjoying it as Edge's
lips caressed his tender skin.

"I want you baby," Edge breathed, his hands sliding down to clutch
Christian's ass. "I want you now."

"Oh Edge." Christian let Edge kiss him one more time, but then his
mood changed dramatically. He cleared his throat, pushing Edge away.
"Edge, baby," he began, biting his lip nervously. "I, um, I have
something to tell you..."



Rob's eyes widened to the size of saucers when he spotted an
absolutely huge tent. "Wow," he breathed. "Whoever's in there MUST
have room for us." He quickly pulled out his ponytail and redid it,
smoothing down his wet clothes and making himself as presentable as
possible. He went up to the large door of the tent, which was zipped
closed. Rob noticed every window of the tent was zipped tightly shut.
Figuring that was merely due to the rain, Rob cleared his throat.
"Excuse me, sir or madame?" he asked timidly. "My friends and I have
gotten in a bit of a situation with our tent, and, um, well - "

"Rob?"

Rob blinked upon hearing his name from the tent. "Is that..." he
trailed off, sure he recognized the voice.

He heard some cursing from inside the huge tent, then the voice
answered. "Yes it's me." Rob heard a zipper, and a moment later the
door to the tent opened, revealing none other than Shane McMahon. And,
to either side of him, naked except for the small pillows they were
both clutching over their groins, were both Hardys.

TBC



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