He wasn't certain when, but at some point, he had fallen asleep. He
realized this as he returned to consciousness, blinking open his eyes
to the bright afternoon sunlight. Surprisingly, he could remember not
a single dream. He didn't need a dream, though; he remember reality
all too well. Chris had left him. Not only that, he had broken his
beautiful lover's heart.

"Matt?"

He closed his eyes, shaking his head. "Go away," he whispered.

"Matt, I just need to talk to you," the soft voice whispered.

Matt just shook his head, refusing to open his eyes. "Matt please,"
the brunette's brother whispered. "I know this is kind of a shock for
you, but it's meant to be Matt. You and I were always meant to be. I'm
really sorry about Chris. I never meant for it to happen like that.
He'll be ok, Matt. He had friends; Adam and Jay and Drew will all be
there for him while he heals. He'll be ok, and so will we. Just stop
fighting it Matt, please. It's natural. It's right."

Matt snorted, keeping his eyes closed. "How can fucking your brother
be natural? It's fucking sick!"

"It doesn't have to be Matt," Jeff went on quietly. "It can be the
most beautiful thing in the world. Don't you remember how beautiful it
was last night? How right it felt for us to be together?"

"Last night was a mistake," Matt cursed. "A fucked up mistake that
never should've happened! You've already cost me my lover, Jeff, why
don't you just go the fuck away and get some therapy! God knows I'm
gonna need it just to keep my sanity!"

It was quiet for a moment. Matt listened to hear Jeff's retort, or the
sound of the door closing, but he heard neither. Instead, he heard a
soft sobbing. Jeff was crying. Matt was shocked at the way that sound
made his insides lurch. His immediate desire was to take his little
brother into his arms and comfort him, but he knew he couldn't do
that. What Jeff wanted just wasn't right, his brother had to be shown
that.

Still, as the soft sounds of misery continued, Matt's resolve began to
fade. If he was honest with himself, the previous night had been
incredible. It had been the most incredible night of his life. He had
never felt more alive, more free, more right. But that was just
insanity! Sleeping with your brother was sick, pain and simple. It was
sick and that was fact. It didn't matter how right it felt, because it
wasn't.

Matt frowned as his thoughts took another direction. There were people
in the world, a lot of people, who thought that homosexuality was
sick. Chris' mother happened to be one of those people. Matt had been
with his former lover when Chris had come out to his mother, and the
results of that confession had been appalling. Chris' mother had spit
on her own son, telling him he was sick and that he was going to hell.
She had turned her back on him while he sobbed and pleaded for just a
little bit of acceptance.

Tears came to Matt's eyes as he recalled the heartbreaking scene. He
remember telling Chris that there was nothing wrong with the way they
were, that all that matter was the fact that they loved each other. If
that was really true, then why should his feelings for Jeff be any
different than his feelings for Chris?

Matt gulped. His feelings for Jeff. He had said it. Well, thought it
at least. He did have feelings for his brother, and more than just the
love one harbored for their sibling. He loved Jeff, as a brother but
also as a lover, as a companion, as a soul mate. Matt had to gasp as
the revelation hit him hard. He was in love with his brother. He was
in love with Jeff. He wanted, desired, needed his brother to be his
own. That was why his relationship with Chris had never quite
satisfied him. That was why all his relationships had always felt just
a little off. Because while he had been searching for his soul mate,
the person he was meant to be with was right in front of him.

Matt opened his eyes slowly, unsure how to proceed. He knew it would
take him a while to get used to the idea of being with Jeff, but that
was journey he was willing to make. It was journey he wanted to make.
His brother was curled up on the couch, sobbing into his knees. He
didn't look up as Matt approached, just curled more tightly into
himself.

Matt knelt on the floor beside his brother, swallowing hard. He put a
hand on one of Jeff's shaking arms, taking a deep breath, then
speaking. "Jeff, I'm sorry," he whispered. "You're....you're right.
Last night, I did feel free. I did feel truly right, for the first
time in my life. But....but this gonna take a while for me to accept.
I do...I do want it, I think. No. I know I want it. I want you. But
this is weird for me."

Jeff looked up, searching his brother's eyes for signs of sincerity.
His heart leapt when he found them in scores. "I love you," he said
simply, reaching out a hand to stroke Matt's cheek.

Matt swallowed. "I...I don't think I can say that yet," he stuttered,
breathing deeply to remain in control. "But, I want to. And I will.
Just give me a bit of time, Jeff. Please."

Jeff smiled tearfully, taking Matt's hand in his own and pressing it
to his damp cheek. "I've waited years for you Matt," he whispered.
"Time I can definitely give you."

Matt smiled and nodded, letting their words end there. That was all
that needed to be said. Hesitantly, he moved himself up onto the
couch, pulling Jeff onto his lap and holding him tightly. Jeff rested
his head on his big brother's shoulder, feeling peace settle inside
him for the first time in years.

TBC in the Epilogue

Epilogue

"Hunter, you bastard!"

"Catch me if you can!" the tall blonde shouted, dashing away as Chris
lunged for him. He dangled the Canadian's CD case tauntingly in the
air, laughing and moving again as Chris attempted to grab it. He was
too busy avoiding Chris to watch where he was going, backing right
into the Hardy brothers and propelling all three of them into one huge
heap on the floor.

Chris leapt on top of Hunter and snatched his CDs, sitting right on
Hunter's stomach and sticking his tongue out. "Got `em!" he announced
triumphantly. Hunter just rolled his eyes, wrapping his arms around
Chris' neck and pulling him down for a kiss. Chris was blushing
slightly as he rose back into a sitting position. He glanced at the
elder Hardy, who was helping Jeff to his feet. "Matt," he said softly,
nodding his head in acknowledgement.

Matt gave him a small smile. "Chris," he replied in greeting. In the
months since their breakup, their relationship had been strained, to
say the least, but they were slowly working their way back towards
friendship. It had helped a great deal that Chris had accepted a date
with Hunter, at Adam and Jay's urging, and the two had formed an
instant repour. Under Hunter's care Chris had become a bright, vibrant
young man again, seemingly happier than he had ever been before. Matt
couldn't have been more happy for his friend, and he had done his best
to repair the damage that had been done between them. It was going to
take a lot more time before they could really call themselves friends,
but every little bit of progress made Matt that much happier.

His relationship with Jeff was also developing slowly, but surely. No
one suspected them of being together, and that was how they planned to
keep it. His messy breakup with Chris had allowed Matt to withdraw
completely from the dating scene, and few had questioned his actions.
He had found exploring a relationship with Jeff to be a fascinating
activity. One of his largest concerns at first had been the necessary
privateness of their relationship, but after spending more time with
his brother, he had dismissed the thought entirely. Being with Jeff
made him happy, and he didn't care if a thousand people knew it, or no
one at all.

Matt watched Chris and Hunter continue to frolic happily as he and
Jeff stepped into the elevator. His arms closed around Jeff's waist
once the doors had shut completely, his lips brushing against his
brother's neck. "I love you," he murmured.

Jeff sighed happily, leaning back against the man he loved. It had
been only a few weeks since Matt had first been able to say those
words, and every time they were uttered he felt as though he were
wrapped in complete and utter bliss. "I love you too," he whispered,
smiling happily.

Matt gazed at his little brother's blissful face, a smile finding its
way onto his own face. He tightened his hold on Jeff, looking forward
to being alone with him for a few hours. Their time alone was when
they could openly express their love for each other, in its fullest
form. They slid apart quickly as the elevator doors opened, stepping
out into the hall.

Matt's mind was free. He no longer was plagued by disturbing dreams;
he only dreamed of his love for Jeff. His heart, body, mind, and soul
at last felt united, every part of him now certain of the love he felt
for his little brother. He was at last truly one. He was whole.



THE END