That was it, then. That was the explanation for the dreams. He wanted
to fuck his brother. For some sick, uncomprehensible reason, he wanted
to fuck his brother. What was the violence, then? His struggle against
those feelings? That must be it.

Matt shook his head, refusing to accept that explanation. That
couldn't be it, it just couldn't. Jeff had confessed to hitting on
Chris; that must've sparked the dreams. At some level, he had known
what was going on, and his subconscious had reacted with a fierce
jealousy, wanting to physically injure his brother for trying to take
Chris from him. That was it. That had to be it.

Matt had to pause to collect himself outside the door to his and
Chris' room. He took a deep breath, ran a hand through his hair, then
opened the door and stepped into the room. Chris was sitting on the
bed, brushing out his long hair. He looked up when Matt entered the
room. His normally beautiful blue eyes were filled with sadness and
hurt. Matt suddenly wished he had taken a shower, knowing he much look
and smell terrible. They just gazed at each other for a moment, then
Matt cleared his throat.

"I'm sorry about last night baby," he began awkwardly. "I didn't mean
to be away so long. It's just, Jeff had something of a crisis, and I
had to - "

"Don't lie to me," Chris interrupted, his voice quiet, yet sharp. He
slid off the bed, standing to look into his lover's eyes.

"I'm not lying," Matt insisted.

Chris snorted. "You smell like sex, Matt," he stated. "It's beyond
obvious that you spent last night fucking someone else." His voice
wavered, his eyes blinking rapidly to hold back tears. "I know that's
what you were doing, so don't fucking tell me you were coddling your
little brother all night!" he screamed.

"Chris, baby, please," Matt begged, "I was with Jeff last night, all
night! You can even ask him." He swallowed, glancing at the floor. "He
told me about - about hitting on you, and how you never responded to
any of it. I'm sorry baby."

Chris' face seemed to crumple, tears pooling in his eyes. "You're a
liar," he whispered, his voice shaking. "You're a fucking liar Matt!"
he screamed, rage warring with the pain on his face. "How could you do
this to me? How could you do this? I've done everything for you! I've
done everyone I could to make you happy! I put up with all your
jealousy and all your shit, and I even put up with your fucking little
whore of a brother trying to get me into bed! And I didn't tell you,
because I didn't want to come between you and him!" Chris wiped
furiously at his eyes, hiccupping as he struggled to push back the
sobs. "I've done everything I could for you, every fucking thing!" he
screamed, his fragile control shattering, tears sliding down his
cheeks and sobs violently wracking his body. "I stood by you, and I
never complained; I even put up with all the times you had to fuck me
to beef up your fucking macho pride! And you've treated me like shit,
Matt." Chris wiped at his eyes, the crystal eyes filled with so much
pain Matt began to feel almost physically sick.

Chris sniffled, taking a deep breath. "You've treated me like shit,
and now you've cheated on me," he whispered, "and you can't even admit
it to my face, when it's as plain as day that you have." His hand flew
out suddenly, slapping Matt hard across the face. Chris stood there
for a moment longer, just staring at Matt, his eyes brimming with
pain, then the blonde whirled around and grabbed his bag, disappearing
from the room before Matt could say a word.

Matt just stared after him, then, slowly, he sunk into the floor,
curling up in the fetal position and wondering how his life had gotten
so screwed up.