December 31, 2007 to January 1, 2008

Every year we get closer and closer to 2010. I don't know what the world will be like in the end. If everyone's fears about the apocalypse finally take place because they believe more in destruction than reconstruction, are pessimistic about the world rather than believing that people can make positive changes together. One think I regret is that people don't believe enough in one another. Because of this I lost my first love... he believed that someone better should be by my side rather than the man I chose. He didn't believe enough in himself... or in me (therefore us) either. That is something I regret for all people. Even though we are capable of such evil, we don't believe in ourselves enough to know that we are even more capable of good... that good exists for us everywhere, but because we are looking at our feet we imagine that to be the ultimate of our existence... we believe that because we can't see it, there is no sky. If we but turn our heads in a different direction, to look up instead of down, we can see the immense scope of our imagination come to light. We can see the infinite good, infinite possibility instead of the theory of inevitability. Things are only inevitable because WE determine them to be so... not because they actually were meant to be that way. This is what I believe, and what I have found to be true in my life.

After all that nonsense... are you ready for Part Two:

Saturday I rested, and rested well. I slept maybe 10 hours... maybe more, but my body needed it. My ears were still recovering from the massive amount of audial shock they'd received the night before, but otherwise, I was happier than I'd been in a very long time. I relaxed on Saturday, knowing that Sunday I'd have two students. My first student on Sunday I met at 3pm. She was the first of my students to actually pay me (mostly because I give a trial lesson first, and haven't had much occasion for a second lesson... but they'll happen soon... I've already got some appointments). Then I rushed from her to my next student. After that, I got home and was feeling pretty bored (as in, 'I don't feel like practicing, I don't really want to watch anything, I want to go out and do something... like dancing!'). It took me several hours of cleaning, listening to music, changing several times, and getting up the courage to actually try to go back to Life (remember that club from Friday?). I even put on make-up... which is a rarity. I made it all the way to the Kyobashi subway station before I noticed something was funny. I didn't see anyone traveling in my direction. When I got to the station, everyone was headed out, while I was the only one on my way in. I saw someone who worked at the train station, and he motioned that there were no more trains for the day... and I really felt silly for not leaving the house sooner. Thinking that I shouldn't waste the make-up, I went to the convenience store (the only thing open after midnight) and got some sweet dumplings, potato chips, and some white chocolate. I ate them all up that night while watching Naruto (I'm on episode 190 now!).

I was hoping to go out that night, but I figured because my roommates were off on their own holiday adventures that I'd plan to visit the Temple at Shitenoji on my own... and then, after cleansing my spirit with the sounds of the bells, go out dancing! And that's what I did. Monday, December 31st, I made arrangements to meet with a student at 1pm (which makes me glad that I didn't go out the night before... I would have been way too tired!). We had an hour lesson, then I went home. I watched Naruto some more (because I'm a little addicted at the moment), then I got bored again. I started playing this really old RPG called Ultima4... it has something to do with becoming a virtuous person so that you can become the Avatar and lead the people into a new future... something like that... and then I got bored again.

This time I played some of my favorite music (all downloaded from Limewire) then I started to get ready. I was all finished by 9pm, so I figured I'd wait. Because it's so cold, I put a blanket over the space heater and snuggled under it. I fell asleep listening to music. But I'd planned ahead. I'd set my alarm clock to wake me, just in case I fell asleep. I set it for 11pm, which was a bad idea because it usually takes an hour or more to get any place. I barely made it to the Temple. I got there and shortly after I heard people counting down to New Year's. One woman told me 'omedeto' and I was happy. I looked around for a bit. I saw the longest line of people I'd ever seen waiting to ring the bell at the temple to say a prayer. I didn't feel like waiting around, so I just wandered a bit. I got down to the entrance of the Temple. There was a line of stalls (really tables under tent roofs) that had set up shop to sell various festival foods. Candied apples and sweets I recognized, but they had some kind of meat on a stick, and fish that I didn't quite recognize. I wasn't hungry, so I just watched the people buy and enjoy their snacks. There were families with excited children, a group of three guys scrounging their pockets for change, and smiling while eating their treats... I walked casually by. I made my way back to the subway.

At this point I was feeling sleepy, so I wasn't sure if I should go to Life or not. I thought I was being silly. Why would I go by myself just to see if Mohsen would be there... but then I figured that it was better to spend New Year's with people who were having fun than going home to be alone again. So I went. When I got there, it was much more crowded than Friday. I bought a drink and sat at the bar (since I couldn't decide what I wanted, the guy at the bar made me a special drink that they only make at Life) and started looking around for some familiar faces (really hoping to meet Mohsen again). I found one. A guy named Gabi that I'd met Friday. Apparently he'd been out every night since coming to Japan. He was here on vacation or something. He and I danced for a little while, but I think he wanted me to dance closer to him... but I didn't I wasn't having much fun, so I decided I'd dance by myself for a while. I did... and eventually this other guy came by and danced with me. He didn't smell so pleasant. After a while, the wife of his friend asked me to dance with her... and I have no problem dancing with women... we had fun. The guy came back and we danced a while... but he kept wanting to get closer... so I ran away to the bar for a drink. I had almost resolved to go home when I saw the person I'd been looking for.

He'd come to the bar quite late, but he was there... and I was so very happy. He noticed me first, so I greeted him with a smile once I saw him. He hugged me right away, and it seemed quite natural. I asked 'are you gonna dance with me?' more just as a casual way of saying hello, but before I knew it, we were on the dance floor. It was like magic... even though the DJ was terrible and kept talking, we managed to get moving pretty easily. After a while, I was tired of the terrible DJ, so we went to sit down. I met his friend there (I don't think I ever caught his name, but he's a fun loving fellow). Oh yeah... I don't think I mentioned that Mohsen is from Tunisia--Africa for those who are not so keen at Geography (I was embarrassed when he told me because I had guessed wrong). Anyway, his friend came by with a drink and passed it to Mohsen, who wasn't interested in it and passed it to me. I drank it, and was feeling a little more than buzzed than I'd have liked, but in the mood to dance. After a while, I stood up and danced on my own near the bar... Mohsen (who apparently frequents the late night scene was very much at home and had many people to greet, so I waited... someone else was about to ask me to dance, but I was just happy and not paying much attention... then Mohsen came back and danced with me.

It was so perfect I can't even explain. When I'm dancing I feel so free... and we danced together like we'd been doing it for years. A little while later he asked if I wanted to go to another place (with better music) and so began our excursion. We went to a bar where Mohsen used to work (either him or his friend) and I met another guy named Gabi (I really had no idea that it was a unisex name). We stayed there a little bit before going to this late night bar and grill where Mohsen and his friend used to DJ sometimes. We were there quite a while. I didn't want to drink anything more, so I just stuck with water. By the time we left there, I was feeling a lot better. Finally, we made it to Heaven, a late night club that doesn't close until 11am! I'd never even heard of anything staying open so late. The whole night, Mohsen and I talked. We got to know each other a little better... and when I tell you we danced all night, we really did. It was 9am before my feet really started killing me, and I kicked myself for having worn heels. I sat down on one of the couches and waited for Mohsen to collect his friend. He wasn't ready to leave, so Mohsen and I were gonna head home without him, but my feet were killing me. I stayed sitting down. Mohsen sat next to me.

I was tired, so I laid my head against his chest. We were sweaty, all danced out, and enjoying one another's company. I don't know how many moments passed, but for some reason, he started to cuddle with me. He ran his hand over my arms, touching my fingers, my palms. Randomly he would kiss the top of my head and my forehead. It was like being comforted by a parent, but he had a lover's sweetness. Nothing he did was out of line, nor was he trying in any way to touch me inappropriately. He was just sweet. I liked cuddling with him. Even though there were at least a hundred people there, he was really the only one there. I'd never known that feeling before. I could have stayed there like that forever. Neither of us spoke. Occasionally we'd hear a beat we liked and move to it a bit, or sing... but mostly, he held me. I was really getting tired, so I suggested we leave. I didn't like the idea of letting his friend go home alone, but Mohsen told me he does that often.

We walked to the station, and I held his arm... to keep my hand warm by his jacket sleeve. My hair was a mess. I'm sure I had a not so pleasant odor to me, but we walked together. When we got to the subway, I found out he only lives two train stops away from me. We bought our tickets, got on the train, and were on our way to our respective homes. Never once did he ask to stay over, or for me to stay over. He was respectful, telling me where we'd go next time. Friendly and kind. On the train we just talked, we didn't cuddle or hold hands, but I liked the conversation. We never kissed. His station came first, so he gave me a big hug to say goodbye. I could tell we both wanted to kiss, but he was respectful and wouldn't make a move unless he was sure it was ok. He left and I rode the train two more stops to my station. Walking home was slow and painful. Still, I had the best New Year I could have possibly had. I didn't have to spend it alone. I was able to spend it with a nice guy who didn't mind dancing all night. All in all, it was an adventure (one I'd like to have again sometime, but I couldn't do it every night.