The Myth of Dying
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: None
Summary: Jonathan reflects on his death.
Disclaimer: All hail Joss, the master of all things Buffy...
Distribution: Morphine Tears. Anywhere else, just let me know where it's going.
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There are all these myths about dying. They�ve been around for so long that everyone believes that they�re fact. The story about your life flashing before your eyes or a white tunnel of light appearing before you are comforting, but completely false. There is no white light and no pathway to heaven.
It�s all very sudden. First there�s the pain that radiates from the point where the knife enters the soft flesh of your stomach. Next comes the sensation of falling backwards into a black pit. When you land, it all becomes very clear. You�re dying and there�s nothing left that you can do.
It was paralyzing. Even if I wanted to move, I couldn�t. All I could do was stare at the dank, concrete ceiling of the school above me as I bled onto the Seal. All I could do was listen as my best friend packed our things, mumbling incoherently to Warren, who in all rights, shouldn�t be there. I had no time to deduce how our dead partner-in-crime was standing above me, alive and well, as I bled to death.
In retrospect, I know that fake-Warren was the cause of all our problems. I know that all of this started long before our return to Sunnydale, I just don�t know why. There was something dark and evil behind it all, and I know that there�s nothing I could have done. All I could do was watch as the people I came back to help were killed or hurt one by one. All I could do was tag behind Andrew as they made their final preparations, unseen and unheard, forever.
I�m kind of surprised that Andrew made it so far. I never expected him to fit in with Buffy�s group at all, but he stood with them in the final battle and they won. I think that maybe this is how it was meant to be. I just wish that the knife would go away. I wish the pain would stop. So much for the white light and the flashes. So much for heaven.
<--- once again, i know
