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Season Four

Prologue:
This is the story of a time long ago, a time of myth and legend when the ancient gods were petty and cruel and they plagued mankind with suffering. Only one man dared to challenge their power: Hercules.
Hercules possessed a strength the world had never seen, a strength surpassed only by the power of his heart. He journeyed the Earth battling the minions of his wicked step-mother Hera, the all-powerful queen of the gods. But wherever there was evil, wherever the innocent would suffer, there would be: Hercules!

Episodes:

Episode 60 - Beanstalks and Bad Eggs - 9/29/97 [Autolycus]

A dying old woman begs Hercules to search for her mother, Lianna, who has been missing since her abduction by a giant decades before. She tells him the secret location of the key to the mystery. Hercules enlists the help of Autolycus, King of Thieves, to steal a pouch the old woman told him of, but when Autolycus discovers that the pouch contains only a bean, he throws it away in disgust. A beanstalk grows where it falls, When Hercules and Autolycus are pursued by an army bent on retrieving jewels Autolycus stole, they climb it. [Hades]
Hercules and Autolycus track down Lianna - who has scarcely aged since she vanished - and Typhoon, brother of Typhon, a giant of Hercules' acquaintance. The woman is indeed unhappy to be stuck in the castle, but reveals that she must remain there because of a deal with Hades, who removed the harpies afflicting her village years earlier on the condition that she remain with Typhoon and the harpy eggs until they hatch.
When the Harpies mature, Hercules must find a way to keep them off the beanstalk and away from Earth. He and Autolycus must also instruct Typhon about love. It turns out that he likes Lianna, who has developed a grudging fondness for him.
Episode 61 - Hero's Heart - 10/6/97 [Iolaus]
Wealthy Lexus is visited by Fortune, who tells him that his luck has run out. He loses his money and his home, and then, while traveling with his wife to live with his brother, is trapped on a disintegrating wooden bridge. Hercules and Iolaus, who are in a bit of a row because Iolaus is tired of being in Herc's shadow, try to save the couple, but while Hercules is saving Lexus, his wife panics and Iolaus can't prevent her from falling to her death. He decides people would be better off if he stopped pretending to be a hero, and breaks with Hercules.
Fortune visits Hercules to tell him that the woman's death is not Iolaus' fault and she wants to make things right. Though Hercules begs her not to interfere any further, she then visits Iolaus, who tells her of his wish not to remember the woman's death. He also says that things would be better if he'd never met Hercules. Fortune tries to make him forget the woman, but she inadvertently makes him forget Hercules as well; Iolaus can remember nothing since he was fifteen, robbing a jewelry stand. Concluding that he is a thief, he heads for the seedy town of Nemia, where he hooks up with a prostitute and tries to ingratiate himself with a local crime lord, Xeno.
Hercules, meanwhile, is also on the way to Nemia, protecting a shipment of money from a local king who wants to help the people of the city without getting directly involved in its politics. His traveling companions are a boorish driver and a pregnant woman looking for a lift; he misses Iolaus, and without his friend to scout for him, the cart is overtaken by thieves. Hercules is shocked to find that they're led by Iolaus, who's now Xeno's Number One, after exposing the treachery of his predecessor. Remembering nothing about their life before, Iolaus attacks Hercules, but he can't bring himself to kill him and returns to Nemia.
Hercules pursues, learning that Xeno has been taken by his former Number One, Thanatos. He and Iolaus rescue Xeno and have the thugs imprisoned - as well as the former crime lord, who warns Iolaus to seek out a different line of work, since he's obviously a trustworthy man. Hercules summons Fortune, who restores Iolaus' memory; the latter decides that he can live with the death of the woman because Hercules believes in him.
Episode 62 - Regrets, I've Had a Few - 10/13/97 [Young Hercules]
Hercules rescues his old friend Jaris from crime lord Klaxon, and is introduced to the Jaris' new baby, Bartok. On the way out of town, Hercules encounters Celesta, messenger of Hades, who tells him she has come to escort Jaris to the Underworld. Hercules begs her to give him one more day, to prepare for his son's future, and she reluctantly agrees.
Hercules flashes back to the first time he saw Celesta: he and Iolaus were students at a prestigious academy for warriors, and were attacked by a gang as they left for vacation. Hercules accidentally killed Bartok, a boy who was supposed to murder Hercules as his rite of initiation. Hercules took the body back to the home of Bartok's father Nehemiah and brother Jaris, but he couldn't bring himself to tell them that he had killed the older boy, and instead pretended to be Bartok's friend. [Young Iolaus]
The adult Hercules tells Jaris that he saw Celesta, and Jaris declares that he's going to do something memorable with his life before he dies. Hercules remembers Jaris as a boy, blaming his father for his brother's death; he also remembers the lies he told the young Jaris about his brother to make him feel better about losing him, before Iolaus arrived to warn Hercules that the gang was planning to punish himself and Nehemiah both for Bartok's death. To his later shame, Hercules refused to let Iolaus tell Nehemiah how Bartok really died.
Jaris kills Klaxon and sets off after other thugs, determined to take as many of them with him as he can. Celesta warns Hercules that Jaris will be denied the peace of the Elysian Fields if he dies a murderer. Hercules recalls taking care of the boy Jaris before the gang arrived and asked Jaris to join them, but the youngster turned them down. Hercules confessed to Nehemiah and fought by his side against the gang, defeating the leader and helping to rebuild. Now he convinces Jaris to give up killing and spend his remaining hours with the people who love him.
[Iolaus] Episode 63 - Web of Desire - 10/20/97
Hercules and crew take refuge from a storm in a cave, and meet up with Nebula, pirate captain of the Leviathan and last survivor of a crew of twenty which stole King Zolas' treasure. Every man on Nebula's crew has been killed or kidnapped by Arachne, a giant half-woman half-spider who ensnares men and forces them to bear her children by gestating them in their bodies.
Hercules and Nebula come up with a slow scheme for drawing her into the light which will kill her, but when she traps Iolaus (after killing the rest of Hercules' crew, by web or by poison), they speed up their plans, eventually burning Arachne to death - though not her nasty arachnid children. They escape with Nebula, intending to return the treasure but not to prosecute her, and she and Iolaus plan to spin a love nest of their own.
Episode 64 - Stranger In a Strange World - 10/27/97 [Aphrodite]
When one version of Gravis is executed in an alternate version of the universe, the one dueling Iolaus drops dead. Ares, enraged, tries to punish Iolaus and ends up doing battle with Hercules, angering Zeus, whose thunderbolts open a portal and cause the Iolauses to switch universes. On the other side, Iolaus is a jester to sovereign Hercules with a beard, who's about to force virginal Aphrodite to marry him, then take over the universe by murdering Zeus. [Ares]
While heroic Hercules attempts to figure out what happened to his missing friend, with the help of the cowardly Iolaus from the other side, nasty Herc kills people at whim and flirts with kinky Xena, who's been providing the hind's blood he's using to poison Zeus. Ares, who's the God of Love over there, is sympathetic but helpless; Joxer, who's the heroic leader of a rebellion against Sovereign Hercules, wants Iolaus to murder Evil Herc during his wedding ceremony.
The ceremony degenerates into bedlam after the attempted assassination, with burly Hercules attacking Iolaus while Xena and Aphrodite engage in a catfight in the wedding cake. Finally, heroic Hercules gets Zeus to re-open the portal and the Iolauses can switch back, while Evil Hercules is caught between the worlds with the hind's blood, thus saving Zeus and the familiar universe.
Episode 65 - Two Men and a Baby - 11/03/97 [Discord]
Hercules' former love Nemesis shows up with a child, Evander (a baby which can levitate objects), which she claims is his, but then the mother disappears. Ares tells Discord to find Nemesis and the baby for him. She does, and prepares to burn Nemesis at the stake.
Hercules and Iolaus stage a rescue, with the help of the baby's powers. Afterwards, Nemesis feels obligated to confess that she lied: the father is really Ares, who promised to make her a god again if she gave him a son. This is why Evander has such extraordinary powers. Hercules still feels close to the child: they're both sons of male gods and human women, with qualities other people can't understand. He vows to protect the baby, but while Ares quarrels with him, announcing that this baby has the power to kill Hercules, Discord captures Iolaus and Nemesis and suspends them from a tree, threatening to kill them unless Hercules hands the baby over. [Ares]
Discord thinks about killing the child just to keep Ares all to herself, but when she tries to throw him off the roof of her castle, Hercules catches him in the nick of time. Discord battles Nemesis while Hercules and Iolaus fight Ares and his men, with the help of Evander's levitation tricks. The baby knocks Discord off the roof and flies to his mother, helping Hercules and Iolaus against Ares until the god gets frustrated and leaves. Hercules tells Evander that it won't be an easy life being a superhero, but it has its rewards.
Episode 66 - Prodigal Sister - 11/10/97 [Hercules]
A decade ago, an Amazon raid destroyed a family: the parents were killed, the daughter kidnapped, the son blinded. But the father had both his children tattooed on the wrist before the war party arrived, and told his son to take care of the sister, since he would always be able to recognize her by the marking.
Hercules meets the now-grown blind boy, Roan, who is sworn to vengeance against all Amazons. Hercules runs into Ephiny, an Amazon acquaintance of Xena's, and learns from her that small bands of outlaw Amazons have been attacking villages, violating the peace treaty. When Roan learns that Ephiny is an Amazon, he tries to kill her, but Hercules stops him and warns him that his sister may by now be a committed Amazon warrior herself. The boy says she'd be better off dead.
One of the bands of outlaw Amazons attacks a nearby village. The leader, Mayhem, insists that they will retake their ancestral lands. Her heir apparent, Siri, loses her best friend in a battle and reaffirms her commitment to the Amazons, her sisters who saved her from abandonment as a baby, or so she believes. When the group attacks the town where Hercules and Roan are staying, Hercules sees the same tattoo on Siri's wrist as the one sported by Roan.
Hercules arranges a meeting between the siblings, but Siri uses it as an excuse to trap the men. She has begun to doubt Mayhem's story that she found her abandoned as a baby, however, and demands a trial by firestakes to find out who is lying. On beams over a fiery pit, Mayhem does battle against Hercules, standing in for Roan. Roan recognizes Mayhem's voice - she's the woman who killed his parents - and announces it in the presence of Siri, but Mayhem declares that it doesn't matter anymore. Hercules defeats her and tries to stop her from falling into the flames, but she refuses his hand, and dies. Then Siri attacks Roan, but the two agree to put aside their differences in the name of the truth, and go to the place where they were last together as children, the site of the battle. Siri, the new leader of the Amazon band, also calls off the war.
[Hercules] Episode 67 - ...And Fancy Free - 11/17/97
Hercules stumbles into the town of Rhumba, "the dance capital of Greece," on the eve of the annual Panathenaia, a dance contest tribute to the Muses. When he witnesses awkward Althea being ridiculed, he offers to help Althea become a swan on the dance floor. The town magistrate, who's pulling for his spoiled niece (who has won three years in a row), makes sure that no local dance teachers will help the pair and sends thugs to break their legs, but Hercules and Althea are rescued by a parakeet which leads them to the widow Alice Twanky. She teaches them the essentials of beat, movement, and theatricality, and tells Althea the truth about her heritage.
Though they're up against assassins, as well as the girl's hermit of a father who resists her competing, Hercules learns to use his fighting skills as an asset in dancing, and Althea discovers that her mother was a dancer who died of a broken heart when she and Althea's father were barred from competing for using an illegal move. This discovery gives Althea the confidence she needs to become a virago on the dance floor, while Hercules struts his stuff, knocking out bad guys as he whips Althea around the room.
The evil magistrate accuses them of violating the rules just like Althea's parents, but Hercules asks the townspeople to follow the muses' inspiration. They win the contest, Althea becomes the most popular girl in town, and Herc's excuse of needing to leave to find Iolaus is foiled by the hot-blooded widow, who's not letting him get away so easily.
[Hephaestus] Episode 68 - If I Had A Hammer- 1/12/98
Salmoneus is holding an art contest for a nobleman and wants Hercules to be the model as well as the judge. He's interrupted by Atalanta, a powerful woman who's trying to impress Hercules with her newfound femininity, but who ends up demonstrating her formidable muscles in a fight. Embarrassed that people find her too butch, she goes home and makes a steel sculpture of Hercules for her own private pleasure, which she fondles and speaks to. Hephaestus, god of the forge, hears her longing for her "perfect man" and brings it to life. [Discord]
The living statue learns by mimicking Atalanta, the horse, and the goddess Discord, who arrives and gives the new man some misdirection. Hercules, meanwhile, is posing with nothing but a bunch of grapes for cover before local artists, including Picassus, Da Vincus, Warholius, Rodin, and Xerox. When it comes time to judge the contest, Discord sends the new Hercules into the fray, where he smashes the paintings because he thinks they're ridiculing him.
Hercules plans to get rid of his double, but Atalanta insists that she has the right to enjoy her creation. She doesn't realize that he's being coached by Discord, who tells him to grope her and punish her for her subsequent rejection. Discord also convinces the double to murder a thug who spoke ill of Atalanta, which leads the townspeople to call for Hercules' blood.
The two Hercules have a showdown which ends with the original Hercules throwing the newer version into the fire, but Discord sets the barn on fire as a parting shot. The steel Hercules comes out of the fire to help Hercules rescue Atalanta, who tells Hercules and Salmoneus that he helped her learn to like who she is. Salmoneus asks her whether, in that case, she might be willing to pose for a Gentleman's Quarterly scroll.
[Hercules] Episode 69 - Hercules on Trial - 1/19/98
Kazankas, a would-be hero, claims to be Hercules and tries to rescue two children and their father from a mine cave-in. Hercules arrives in time to help get the children out, but not to save Kazankas. The local magistrate arrests him and charges him with manslaughter at the behest of Spencius, a prosecutor who wants to bring Hercules down. In jail, Hercules promises not to break out until the trial has run its course.
In Athens, Spencius charges Hercules with sedition and failing to obey the gods - his argument being that when people try to be heroes, they abandon their families, get killed in wars, and have no respect for local laws. Ares shows up to taunt Hercules that this is where his affection for humans has gotten him. Iolaus encourages Hercules to break out, but Hercules says he wants to prove that he does have respect for laws, so he keeps his word.
Iolaus recruits Circe as Hercules' attorney, and she calls impressive witnesses like Jason (of the Argonauts) and Daedalus (the inventor). But Spencius twists their testimony, arguing that Hercules got innocent people killed on a hero's mission with Jason to bolster their own reputations, and that Hercules was responsible for Daedalus's son Icarus's death, since the boy acted as if he might be immortal like Hercules. Heroes are irresponsible and lead people astray from responsible, orderly lives, says Spencius.
Hercules becomes demoralized, thinking that he might be responsible for the deaths of his own wife and children because he couldn't save them. Iolaus testifies for the prosecution; though his testimony is very favorable to Hercules; the prosecutor uses him as an example of the special treatment Hercules gives his friends, since he brought Iolaus back from the dead but didn't do the same for others. The trial is interrupted by a giant trashing a village. Hercules reluctantly breaks his word (and jail) to do something about it; turns out the big guy merely had a toothache, and needed some help.
Hercules goes back to court and says that he's guilty - he's not afraid to risk his life for another, nor to urge others to do the same. If the gods want to treat us like animals, he argues, then we need to prove that we are noble - that we follow the spirit of the law rather than the letter. At this, Iolaus announces that if the magistrate banishes Hercules, he'll have to banish Iolaus too, because Iolaus is Hercules. Jason rises and says, "And I am Hercules." So does Daedalus. Soon the whole room is saying "I am Hercules," including the magistrate, who dismisses the case. Hercules smiles and goes off to stop Ares' latest war.
[Young Iolaus] Episode 70 - Medea Culpa - 1/26/98
Hercules, Iolaus, and Jason go fishing together and reminisce about their youth. Just after Jason became King of Corinth, Hercules and Iolaus visited him. Jason's airs led Iolaus to tell him he needed a kick in the royal highness, but the three quickly settled into good-natured competition. A chariot race was interrupted by a little girl whom Hercules nearly ran over, who told him tearfully that the Gydra had destroyed her village. Hercules decided to go after the monster, and his friends agreed to accompany him. [Young Jason]
Jason teased Hercules that he only wanted to be a hero to impress women, and laughed at the discovery that the son of Zeus was a virgin. Hercules insisted he wanted to wait until the right woman came along. Just then, they discovered a girl alone, but when they tried to spy on her, she threatened Iolaus until Hercules convinced her they were not out to harm her. She introduced herself as Medea, and joined their quest to kill the Gydra. [Young Hercules]
Hercules and Medea became close when he helped her deal with the loss of her family to the Gydra, but when he refused to make love with her, she got angry and started coming on to the already-jealous Jason. Hercules witnessed the two kissing, threw Jason into a tree, scorned Medea, and set off with Iolaus to find the Gydra. Medea took care of Jason's wounds, and was congratulated by Hera for splitting up the two heroes, since that would make it easier to kill Hercules. While Hercules and Iolaus fought ineffectually against the two-headed, poison-tailed, fire-breathing Gydra, Medea defied Hera and took Jason to help the others.
The four were successful in defeating the Gydra, but Hera took Medea away with her to be punished, explaining that she must punish Zeus for going around fathering bastards like Hercules. Hercules forgave Jason for betraying him with a woman he'd been falling in love with himself. In the present, the two agree that Medea was the real victim of Hera's wrath.
[Autolycus] Episode 71 - Men In Pink - 2/2/98
While Autolycus is robbing Salmoneus and the generous king for whom he works, the king's greedy brother has the monarch murdered. Hearing shouts, the two men rush out of the treasury to find the dying ruler, only to be caught holding the knife when soldiers burst in. Salmoneus follows Autolycus when he flees, and the two hide in a dance hall, dressing as women to disguise themselves from the guards. The Widow Twanke, who taught Hercules to dance, permits them to join her chorus girls.
"Autolyca" promptly falls in love with Cupcake who sings a seductive song about how much she loves sweets. Turns out she means it literally, however, and Autolycus covers for her when she's caught with a forbidden dessert by claiming it belongs to Salmoneus. The older man gets grounded while the rest of the girls go to the spa, where Autolycus gets to know Cupcake's secret yearnings. Meanwhile, the prince searches for the criminals who "murdered" his brother, and falls in love with "Salmonella."
Autolycus dresses as a man and impresses Cupcake while Salmoneus shaves his legs, though his roommate has to jump in the tub with him when Cupcake comes by to tell "Autolyca" about the wonderful man she's met. The prince comes to the theater that evening, and the Widow Twanky expects the new recruits to perform a strip show. Using strategically placed oversize fans, they do, and are lauded while the prince fantasizes about marriage and children with Salmoneus.
After Salmoneus receives flowers and an invitation to dinner from the prince, Autolycus secures a date with Cupcake. The prince gives Salmoneus a diamond necklace while Autolycus gives Cupcake a donut, then begs her to give him some sugar. But he feels guilty when she praises his honesty and selflessness, and rushes off. Meanwhile, the prince makes a pass at Salmoneus, whose wig falls off. He is arrested, and when the soldiers arrive to arrest Autolycus, the prince finds Cupcake in the room searching for "Autolyca." He declares that he always knew she was a man, and tries to pull her hair off until Autolycus appears.
Autolycus picks the lock to escape from the executioner, and the three flee to the theater, where the Widow Twanky has gone onstage in Cupcake's place. The men fight the soldiers while dancing, ultimately squashing the prince, whom Autolycus accuses before the entire audience of having killed his brother. Autolycus apologizes to Cupcake while Salmoneus expresses dismay at the prince's abandonment: "I thought he loved me for ME!" Still, he has the diamond necklace, and the Widow Twanky says they're always welcome at her place, since she thinks every man should walk a mile in women's shoes.
[Callisto] Episode 72 - Armageddon Now, Part I - 2/9/98
At the cremation of Gabrielle's daughter Hope and Xena's son Solon, ashes rise from Hope's pyre and take form near an old man. She steals his life force and solidifies, then breaks Callisto free from the cavern which trapped her, telling her that she must rid the world of Hercules. The hero is visiting his mother, Alcmene, until a message warns him that Tendarius is with Ares, raising an army to prevent his daughter from eloping.
Hercules sends Tendarius home to throw a wedding feast and fights with Strife, but when he destroys the armory, Ares gets angry. Meanwhile, Callisto tells Hope that "hope" is the one thing she doesn't have or want, but Hope promises her freedom from her demons if she will help rid the world of Hercules. Callisto agrees, and goes to Ares, suggesting that they get rid of Hercules in a way even Zeus can't complain about. They free the Sovereign - Hercules' evil twin - from the portal between the worlds. [Ares]
When Hercules realizes that the Sovereign is loose, he traps his double. But when Ares and Callisto open the portal, both Hercs are trapped inside after Ares steals the Sovereign's necklace full of hind's blood - the only substance which can kill a god. Callisto fights to get the necklace for herself and, aided by Hope, uses a bit of the blood to kill Strife. The heavens thunder; even the trapped Hercs feel the reverberations.
Ares believes that the end of the world is nigh, but Iolaus points out that Hope needed to get rid of Hercules, who must be important to saving everything. While Hercules watches helplessly from a mirror pool in the wasteland between the worlds, where the Sovereign has been fighting him, Hope sends Callisto back in time to stop Hercules from being born. Iolaus realizes that she plans to kill Alcmene and convinces Ares to send him back through time to stop her. He finds Alcmene, but Callisto arrives and aims a bolt of fire right at the pregnant woman.
[Xena] Episode 73 - Armageddon Now, Part II - 2/16/98
Iolaus tries unsuccessfully to protect Alcmene from Callisto, stealing the hind's blood briefly and covering a knife with it, but the fledgling goddess tracks Hercules' mother to a barn and torches it, killing her. Trapped between the worlds with his evil twin the Sovereign, Hercules witnesses these events in a mirror pool but is unable to do anything, much to the Sovereign's delight.
Iolaus moves forward through history to Cirra, Callisto's birthplace, where Xena's armies are about to slaughter everyone. A wealthy man gives Xena the Chronos stone as a gift, but the tyrannical Xena doesn't recognize it. Iolaus tries to explain that he's a friend from the future, and proves it by demonstrating that he can outmaneuver her typical battle moves; when that fails, he tells her that he knows about Solon. Xena wants him dead, but when he vanishes, she tells her troops to lay waste to Cirra. Meanwhile, as Iolaus pursues with the blood-soaked knife, Callisto tries to help her parents and the girl she used to be. But when they refuse her assistance, she accidentally kills her own father and mother. [Iolaus]
As the Sovereign laughs to Hercules that watching him trapped for all eternity is a better punishment for the way the hero has influenced his life than killing him would be, Hercules erects lightning rods to try to open the portal to the world. Iolaus travels in time again to a future where a vicious Xena rules the known world, much to Ares' delight. The god has never heard of Hercules; history has been changed. Hercules implores Iolaus to think of the Chronos stone, and Iolaus gets the message. He steals the stone from Xena's scepter, travels back to Alcmene, and saves her from Callisto. Callisto destroys the Chronos stone in front of the temple near the portal, but just after she does so, Hercules comes through. His lightning rods worked.
Callisto fights Hercules first with her fists, then with bolts of flame. He tries to draw her fire in such a way that the portal is triggered, and when it opens, he hurls her through. On the other end, the Sovereign can't get through, and screams his disappointment. Hercules puts the knife covered with hind's blood deep in a rock at the temple, then tells Iolaus that he must stop the evil force which unleashed Callisto. Unseen, Hope watches the two of them walk away together.
[Hercules] Episode 74 - Yes, Virginia, There Really Is a Hercules - 2/23/98
Rob Tapert awakens from a nightmare about the episode "Atlantis," in which a warlord fires a phaser at Hercules. Tapert, the series' executive producer, receives a phone call from set producer Eric Gruendemann, who asks whether Tapert survived the recent L.A. earthquake, then tells him something which causes Tapert to panic. Tapert calls producer Liz Friedman (who's been punching out Tapert's image) to pass on the bad news. She calls writer Jerry Patrick Brown, who's involved in a paintball re-enactment of the Vietnam War, and writer Paul Robert Coyle, who's gambling in Vegas. When all have convened at Renaissance Productions, Tapert awakens writers Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci, then announces to them all that star Kevin Sorbo is missing.
Tapert sends production assistant David Scott Pollison to search the world for Sorbo. Brown thinks a war-heavy episode about Ares could fill in, and recalls clips from "Judgement Day" to prove it. Friedman complains that it makes more sense to do a feisty Callisto episode, using flashbacks from "Surprise" to illustrate her point. But others point out that both Ares and Callisto are bad guys who couldn't do much other than playing scissors, rock, paper without Hercules around to fight.
Tapert's assistant Melissa Blake tries to poison him and then to stab him, but in his rush to go fishing, he doesn't notice. Then Blake gets a call announcing that studio head B.S. Hoffinfoffer is on his way over. Teams come out of the woodwork to dress everyone up and change the posters on the walls. B.S. arrives to announce that his chandelier fell on him during the earthquake, and he had a vision: a musical Hercules! He describes the episode "...and Fancy Free," which impresses everyone, but a call from Pollison alerts the exec to the fact that Sorbo is missing. Coyle wonders aloud why they couldn't do an episode with the Sovereign, like "Stranger in a Strange World," but Friedman points out that since Sorbo plays the Sovereign, this is an idiotic idea. B.S. fires the entire staff, then re-hires them and demands that they find a new Hercules.
Casting director Beth Hymson brings in her hot gardener to audition; he does a lousy job with the speech to the infant from "Two Men and a Baby." So do the mime and the Elvis impersonator. Gruendemann calls to announce that the crew has learned that Sorbo is missing, since he tried to pretend to be Hercules himself; the producers hear him being tortured over the phone. Blake asks why they don't do a Young Hercules series and spins out ideas for a cocky younger version of the character, but nobody pays attention. B.S. returns around 4:15 to announce that the show will be cancelled if they don't come up with an idea by 5 p.m. [Strife]
Friedman says she wishes they could do away with actors altogether, which gives Tapert the idea of doing a Hercules cartoon - he has visions of The Battle For Mount Olympus, but Friedman points out that they'd still need Sorbo's voice. Kurtzman and Orci present Chimpules, an idea they've been working on for months about a series starring a monkey, but Tapert ridicules them and a fistfight breaks out. Suddenly everyone freezes, and Ares and Strife show up. They discuss the earthquake that they caused in Los Angeles, which kept Hercules busy so the show would be cancelled, thus permitting Ares to watch Millennium in peace.
Hercules enters, disguised as Sorbo. Ares expresses disgust that his brother rescued Los Angeles from the earthquake, but Hercules says the world isn't ready to know that he is real. Ares sneers and challenges him, but Hercules says Ares' people will have to call his people. He un-freezes the staff, who are delighted to see him and accept "Kevin Sorbo's" excuse that he was caught in traffic. In the background, the news reports that a mystery man prevented people from dying in the earthquake.
Episode 75 - Porkules - 3/16/98 [Discord]
Discord turns Hercules into a pig to make Ares happy; while he's running around oinking, he meets a girl pig named Katherine. Iolaus and Autolycus race to save Hercules after he is put on a butcher's chopping block following his transformation. Autolycus flies, with the help of Herme's sandals, to his rescue. Iolaus and Autolycus must retrieve Artemis' bow transform Hercules back into his old self again. With the help of Alcmene and Jason, they will beat Ares and Discord and return Hercules to normal.
[Ares] Episode 76 - One Fowl Day - 3/23/98
Ares turns Iolaus and Autolycus into inarticulate neanderthals; meanwhile, Discord, transformed into a giant chicken, pursues Hercules and his newly human friend Katherine with deadly intent. Ares punishes Iolaus and Autolycus, for turning Discord into a chicken by chaining them together naked.
Episode 77 - My Fair Cupcake - 4/13/98 [Autolycus]
Autolycus transforms the Widow Twanke's protegee Cupcake into a princess so he can use her to steal a prince's priceless sapphire, but the prince mistakes her for his promised bride. Complicating matters is that the prince is on the verge of declaring war on a good king who's friendly with Hercules and Iolaus. Autolycus distracted Prince Alexandros so he could steal the ruler's famous sapphire as Antioch and Carpathia ready for war and keep from falling in love with Cupcake at the same time.
[Nebula] Episode 78 - War Wounds - 4/20/98
Led by Ajax, angry veterans march against Hercules' brother, King Iphicles because Hercules' brother is unjustly imprisoning Greece's war veterans. Iphicles blames them for the death of his wife, Rena. Hercules and Iolaus are helped in rescuing Iphicles from prison by the pirate lady Nebula.
Episode 79 - Twilight - 4/27/98 [Young Jason]
As Hercules' mother lies dying, her son and his stepfather recall a battle in their youth when Hercules first told Jason of his bitterness towards his father. Hercules had went off to fight the supposedly evil Parthans despite his young mother Alcmene's objection.
[Young Jason] Episode 80 - Top God - 5/4/98
After Alcmene dies, Zeus asks Hercules to give up mortality and join him ruling the gods of Olympus. Hercules remembers a youthful conflict with his brother Apollo, and declares that the life of a god is not for him.
[Hercules] Episode 81 - Reunions - 5/11/98
Hercules discovers that Hera and some of his own siblings are plotting to overthrow Zeus. Hera blackmails Zeus into becoming mortal; Hercules battles the gods to return Alcmene's soul to the Elysian Fields and restore his father's powers. In the meantime, Iolaus has his own dysfunctional-family problems with his reunion with his mother.

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