CHAPTER VII

JEFF BECOMES A LIVING CORPSE

      After Jeff died, he was taken to the morgue. The medical examiner was about to take a saw and cut open Jeff when he unexpectedly came back to life. He grabbed the saw and cut the medical examiner's throat. After that, Jeff grabbed a switchblade knife and took off. The next thing he wanted to do was find Frank and kill him.

       Just before Frank injected Jeff with the Agent Orange and toxic waste he told him that he got the Agent Orange and toxic waste at the landfill and he was going to go back there and get more and inject more people that he didn't like. Frank was assuming that he could inject Jeff and kill him without him coming back from the dead. He was dead wrong!

     As soon as Jeff left the morgue he went to the landfill looking for Frank and sure enough, he was there picking up the Agent Orange and toxic waste. Since Jeff turned into a living corpse, the smell of the landfill didn't bother him at all. In fact he even kind of enjoyed the smell. Also the weather was still too fucking hot, but Jeff wasn't really bothered by it anymore, but he still wanted to go back to Minneapolis because he missed it there. He also wanted to kill Frank for what he did to him.

      As soon as Frank left the landfill, Jeff followed him. The first place that Frank went to, was the Coral Ridge Presbyterian Church for worship services, because he wanted everyone to know that he was a good Christian. Not! While at the church Frank had still never washed the Agent Orange, toxic waste and Jeff's diarrhea off his hands and the people were wondering why his hands smelled so bad. As soon as Frank left the church, Jeff followed him to his house. Jeff used a credit card and broke in. Meanwhile, Frank decided to take a shower because he could no longer stand the smell of his hands. While Frank was taking a shower, Jeff snuck up on him and took the switchblade knife and stuck it up Frank's asshole until it came out through his dick.

     Jeff couldn't wait to go back to Minneapolis, but there were 2 more things that he needed to do next. The first one was go back to Sunshine Freedom Center For Troubled Youth and kill the pricks that fucked with him and the second was get enough money for a plane ticket so he could go back to Minneapolis. Before Jeff went to the Sunshine Freedom Center for Troubled Youth, he decided to stop by the landfill and pick up some Agent Orange and toxic waste. There were 3 people at the Sunshine Freedom Center for Troubled Youth that he wanted to kill. The first one was Tammy Mendez who was the cunt that was in charge of the place and ordered Jeff to be tortured for disobeying. The other 2 people were John Frugle and Mike Hatsfield who were the ones who tied him up naked and beat the shit out of him with a whip. Jeff went into Tammy Mendeze's office and snuck up on her and injected her with Agent Orange and toxic waste. After she was injected, she went into seizures and died. Then later that night, he went to the place where Mike and John sleep and he hid in the bathroom. First Mike went in to take a piss. Then Jeff snuck up on him, grabbed him and said, "remember me asshole? You thought you could fuck me over and get away with it and force your religious bullshit down my throat". After Jeff said that, he injected Mike with the Agent Orange and toxic waste. Then when John came into the bathroom, Jeff said the same thing to him and injected him with the Agent Orange and toxic waste.

      As Jeff was leaving the Sunshine Freedom Center For Troubled Youth he was feeling better because he killed more people who fucked with him, but he didn't know how to get the money to get a plane ticket to get back to Minneapolis. Then, just before he was to walk out of the building he saw a bulletin board and there was a flyer that said that a fund raiser was being held for the Sunshine Freedom Center for Troubled Youth at a Christian bookstore, nearby, on that very same day. Jeff was going to go there and rob the bookstore. When he got there, there were tons of assholes who were supporting that bullshit place. Jeff decided to wait until everybody left. Then he made his move. He went into the bookstore and walked up to the woman who was working there and she said, "Praise Jesus, can I help you"? Jeff said, "give me all your money or I'll ram this knife right up your cunt until it comes out your asshole and that's a promise". She refused to give him the money and started praying. She believed that the Lord was going to protect her from being hurt from Jeff. Besides, all that money was going to be donated to the Sunshine Freedom Center for Troubled Youth and without those funds, they might have to shut down. Promises, promises! She even pleaded with Jeff not to take the money and told him where it was going to. After that, Jeff took his knife and rammed it up her cunt until it came out her asshole. The nice thing about Jeff is, when he makes a promise, he keeps it! As soon as he killed her, Jeff took off with $4000, which was more than enough to get him a first class ticket back to Minneapolis.

       Jeff was finally able to go back to Minneapolis. The thing that disappointed him was he still killed more people while he was alive than when he was dead. Oh well. He decided to head off to the airport. This time he knew better than to try to sneak through the metal detector with a machine gun and he left his knife behind. Besides, he felt that because he was now a corpse, he wouldn't need it. He also decided to go to the airport in West Palm Beach because if he went to the airport where he killed people and ate them, he might get recognized. After Jeff got to the airport, he bought a first class ticket and he was on his way to Minneapolis.

     After he got on the plane and as soon as he was airborne, Jeff felt so relieved, because he was on his way, except he wasn't in as good of shape as he was when he left Minneapolis. Well, being in South Florida will do that to people. Jeff was really in bad shape because he was a corpse and he was rotting. He also smelled real bad and the people who had to sit next to him on the plane could not stand it. That wasn't the only thing they had to deal with. Jeff's stomach was in very bad shape and he had gas which means he kept farting on the plane, continuously. Well anyway, the moment arrived when Jeff landed in Minneapolis and the temperature was 34 degrees. Jeff couldn't wait to get off the plane and experience nice cool weather again. The people who were on board with him couldn't wait for him to get off the plane either.

       Jeff went outside in the nice cool weather, but something was tragically wrong. As it turns out, zombie corpses can not stand cold weather. Jeff was shivering and he couldn't stand the cold weather. As Jeff continued to walk around, the pain got worse and worse. The temperature dropped to 32 which was freezing, causing Jeff to drop dead. Zombie corpses only thrive on hot weather and if the temperature drops to 32, they die.

       Meanwhile, back in South Florida, people were getting sick from being poisoned from the toxic waste and Agent Orange from the landfill that Hurricane Dick ripped apart. People started to croak, but then they started to come back from the dead as living corpses. They went out and started killing people by eating them. That was the only thing they could do to comfort themselves from the pain of being dead. The people that Jeff injected with Agent Orange and toxic waste at the Sunshine Freedom Center for Troubled Youth came back from the dead and started killing the kids that were misfortunate enough to be sent there by their parents. They killed the people who disobeyed them first and told them to obey them or God will tell them to eat them and kill them.

      The zombie corpses started working their way up north once they killed everyone in South Florida. They would go as far north as they could get until the weather gets too cold for them. The only thing that would eliminate the zombie corpses was to drop nuclear bombs on South Florida. The army had nuclear bombs dropped on all areas south of West Palm Beach turning the area into no man's land. Of course, a lot of innocent people were killed in the process but it got rid of the zombie corpses. Oops, not all of them! THE END

      In EVIL DICK, Part II, Jeff comes back from the dead when the weather gets too fucking hot in Minneapolis, but he turns into a fucking asshole because he only likes hot weather. During the summer he goes around Minneapolis eating people and killing them to reduce the pain that he's in from being a corpse. Meanwhile, in South Florida many zombie corpses made it to West Palm Beach before the nuclear bombs were dropped which means people continue to be eaten and killed by them. Zombie corpses continue to go further and further north. They are just like fire ants. They can't be stopped! STAY TUNED!

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