He shook hand with the bridegroom, muttered some good wishes in as upbeat a mood as he can mustered and handed an ang pow politely to him. They were in all appearances good friends even though it was only their very first meeting. Marcus noted that a video cameraman on hand had even captured the entire proceeding with relish. Poor fellow ,he had a job to do and just could not wait to be seen at it, Marcus thought to himself.

Following the direction given by one of the ushers at the main entrance of the banquet room, Marcus had little trouble locating his designated table. He promptly chose a seat facing the stage which accorded him the added benefit of ease in viewing the side-screen, where newly-weds commonly showcase photo slides of their earlier years as well as the build-up of their romance. A young waitress in cheongsam approached to take his order for drinks. " Chinese tea and a beer please", said Marcus.

The room was well-lit by chandeliers dangling from the ornamented ceiling and by lamps strewn along the oak-panelled walls. While taking in the music of Richard Clayderman and with time on hand to kill, Marcus went on to count the number of tables - forty in all. It would on this count be prima facie evidence of a grand feast; this needs only be ratified by the menu selected by the hosts. Purposefully, Marcus picked up the menu which was written in both Mandarin and English. He read in English only; the Mandarin was beyond him. He let go a small whistle as he skimmed through the menu containing words such as "Abalone", "Peking Duck", "Superior Sharksfin" and "Suckling Pig". He felt hungry eventhough he had had a red bean bun before coming to the hotel. With his melamine chopsticks he promptly picked up a few groundnuts, crunched them in his mouth and sipped his tea appreciatively. The tea bore a calming effect on him.

Soon after, many more guests were seated and many others were still making their way into the room. Two of the guests had joined Marcus at his table. Their names were Jerome and Chung San. They were also friends of Irene - the bride. " So how do you know Irene ?" asked Jerome. Marcus explained that his computer outfit is prototyping a diagnostic computer system at the behest of Irene's Head of Department. Jerome volunteered the information that Irene, Chung San and himself were interns together at Alexandra Hospital. They are now junior doctors at East Shore Hospital unlike Irene who prefers the status quo.

By and by all the guests appeared to have arrived judging from the few unoccupied seats. The crucial point is, it would seem, not to start the dinner until all the 'important' people like grandparents, granduncles and grandaunties have presented themselves. They are the usual culprits who prolong the start of such an auspicious dinner by making their late and, therefore, 'grand' appearances.

At about 8.35pm the double-leaf main door was swung closed. The moment had come. The master of ceremony took the cue and called everyone to their feet. The "Wedding March" was played through the sound system whereupon the door was opened smartly by two of the ushers. The radiant couple burst forth amidst the dry ice vapour spewing from two raised metallic buckets at the start of the red carpeted walkway. The couple strode on along the walkway acknowledging the beaming smiles and hearty adulation of all and sundry.

On stage, the couple went through the motion of cutting a four-tier wedding cake, which was essentially fake. (To complete this deception, pre-packaged butter- or fruit-cake would be distributed at the end of the dinner.) Once again the guests, seated, clapped thunderously. The couple then proceeded to their grand table which was bedecked in crimson red tablecloth unlike the rests which were clad in pink. There were slight murmurings followed by a hush as the banquet room lights were gradually dimmed out. "Sundance", a rousing piece by Kitaro, was played to the accompaniment of two revolving spotlights. The gathering became abuzzed and everyone was on the lookout. The suspense grew. Then it happened. Coming from opposite side entrances two torchbearers pompously led in two streams of waiters and waitresses carrying huge porcelain plates propped by their right palms and shoulders. The glowing flames of low-cut candles placed at the centre of the plates provided a warm glow and glittering spectacle. It was a snaky choreography alright; what with them meandering their way through the tables and crisscrossing each other at the walkway. The much-awaited opening dish - Chinese-styled hors d'oeuvre, was finally deposited on the tables. The crowd clapped appreciatively as the fuss and fanfare drew to an end. Gracious living is truly well and alive, Marcus assured himself. At the same time though he wondered why there need to be such much-a-do about an opening dish in the first instance.

Respectfully, Jerome gestured with his right hand ,palm opened, to the five retired secondary schoolteachers of Irene to start off the dinner. Seeing their hesitation, Marcus quickly added, "Please do us the honour." Old people like to be respected but it is a virtue not to initiate oneself to partake of an opening dish. Some ingenuity is always warranted .And there have always been Marcusses and Jeromies to rise to the occasion.

With the first course through and the hunger pangs of the invited guests abated, Irene and her other half went on stage. The bridegroom thanked everyone for their presence and presents. "We had a rather tiring day. In the morning we went for a location shooting at Clarke Quay. Then we had our Holy Matrimony in church followed by a tea reception. And now this dinner. Nevertheless, we are very happy. We thank God for bringing us together and would also like to thank both of our parents for their endorsements of our marriage. Once again, Irene and I would like to say a big thank you for your presence and presents. However, before we take our seats, we would like to share with you some slides."

As the audience clapped politely, the lights were dimmed. The slide show began with some childhood photographs. As always, these drew the most comments from the audience. It went on to show the places they went, the things they did during their courtship and theirs singing together in the church choir.

With the show ended, the dinner proceeded with the "Superior Sharksfin Soup With Crabmeat". Everything was going well for Marcus. The atmosphere was congenial. The happenings on stage, though predictable, were great fun. The food was good. Best of all he did not have to speak unless he chose to. He felt free from any obligation to engage others in conversation through small talk. He could be himself. The young couple was absorbed in conversation with themselves. As for the retired schoolteachers, they were busy soliciting free medical advice from Chung San and Jerome. The doctors obliged amiably. It was really an enjoyable evening. Marcus would drift in and out of their animated discourse on this and that ailments. Otherwise, he just enjoyed his beer in-between dishes and took in the merriment contributed by the eclectic lot of diners. As a matter of habit acquired from numerous dinners before, Marcus would interchange his Chinese tea with beer. He would sip the tea after each dish so as to wash off the lingering taste from his mouth and prepare his tastebuds to savour the full taste of the next dish. The beer was more of a treat to himself. He is after all a social rather than a regular drinker.

After the fourth dish ,the master of ceremony called the assembly to order again. It was toasting time. The bride, who had discarded her earlier wedding gown for an evening gown, and the bridegroom together with their immediate family members made their way to the stage. Some few big-bellied men were especially roped up to join the entourage. A stocky fellow from amongst them took over the microphone ,enjoined the standing gathering to toast the bride and bridegroom and led by bellowing "Yaaaaam Seng!" three times with his cronies. Thereafter, it was more "Yam Sengs" as the newly-weds weaved their way from table to table. It was like an obstacle course as each table presented a different challenge. The tame ones involved only exchange of pleasantries followed by a photo-shoot. On a few occasions the bridegroom was coaxed to down portions of brandy neat. In one episode, the bride sportingly and deftly threaded a handkerchief from one end of the bridegroom's trousers to the next much to the delight of all who are within view. What will they think of next! Marcus wondered.

The fried rice soon came. It reminded Marcus that there was only dessert to go. He glanced at his Guess athletic wristwatch, which displayed 10.03pm.By then he was getting quite sick with the tea and decided to abstain from it. He had lost count of the number of cups he had because the on-the-ball waitress was persistently filling up the cup as long as it was not filled near to the brim. The beer, his only glass for the night, was, however, still agreeable .He nursed it for a while more and downed it just as the dessert was served. Many gave the fried rice a miss as they were full with room enough left for dessert only. Those who were still eating did so with the tacit understanding that this seventh dish was meant to be a 'filler' provided by the thoughtful hosts. At this stage the eating invariably took on a faster pace, evoking a sense of haste right through to dessert.

The dessert comprised sago with honeydew melon, which was still in vogue after so many years. Marcus dutifully stomached his share of the cold dessert although he much preferred something warm like yam paste. By then, the bride and bridegroom ,and their parents were readying themselves at the main entrance to send off the guests. Marcus respectfully waited for everybody from his table to finish their dessert. The retirees took their leave first. Within the minute the rests followed suit. Marcus congratulated Irene ,and bade her his best wishes. She looked tired but still managed to smile and said, "Thank you."

Back home, Marcus had to struggle to sleep because of the tea. Still, it was worth it, he affirmed himself. He felt honoured to be invited for the wedding dinner and felt alive for having passed off as a part of the evening charade. He will be attending another dinner next Saturday -- his fifth this year.