by Zeke [email protected]
Like a fish riding a bicycle, you're going to take some spills Zeke
My lord what I had I done. On my knees on a large blue mat in a hillside house worth more than I’d make in twenty years, I paled at the sight of this sculpted woman trying to bring sight back to her left eye. We’d started to wrestle and as we jostled for position her eye and my finger met. It wasn’t enough that I’d screwed up the arrangements so badly she’d initially refused to go through with the match. And she had all the arguments on her side. I must have looked like I was about to cry, having blown what might be my only chance to wrestle Kasie Cavanaugh, the female body builder wrestler equivalent of Casey at the Bat - except she never struck out. And after she’d given me the chance, against her better judgment, I’d started out with an eye gouge. All the apologies in the world weren’t going to get me out of this one.
"You’re going to pay for that." I willed myself into believing I heard a teasing tone, the alternative led to abject terror. This woman, and Scary Movie to the contrary, there was no mistaking she was a woman, had twenty five pounds on me - all muscle, was far more experienced, was ranked in everyone’s top five if they were serious about wrestling, and was a toddler in Minnesota when I was finishing college there. Realistically I was at her mercy with nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, and no reason for her to be feeling merciful.
"Remember, pins only."
"No submission holds?"
"Anything you want so long as it doesn’t produce pain or injury and moves you towards a pin." I felt an overwhelming need to make sure she knew the rules more or less ruled out breaking my neck or any other body parts.
We again jockeyed for position. I was able to thwart her efforts to get in close but was totally unable to move her in any direction.
"Some upper body strength there." Point for me. When I know I’m overmatched, I count any comment or visible indication that my opponent is impressed with something I do as a victory. Something the baby in any family quickly learns to do and never forgets.
Flushed with the success of avoiding her for a half minute, I feinted to her left and tried to get behind her right arm. She stayed straight, head out of reach and as I lowered my head to go forward I immediately found my self in a reverse headlock. Joanna had told me to keep my head up at all times. When would I ever learn! The rules saved me from an immediate submission as I could tell her upper arm was capable of squeezing me way beyond my pain threshhold. I also made the acquaintance of her right breast - a beauty but not one that was going to provide sexual stimulation in the positions I would be placed for the next hour. I managed to stay on my hands and knees, keeping my legs out of her grasp. She came up off her knees so she could drive her weight down on my upper back pushing my head into the mat.
Fortunately there was no one around to see how effortlessly she forced me to kiss the mat as I struggled to keep my backside away from her. Could she have rolled to the side, putting us both on our backs and then released the headache as she pivoted and pounced? Most probably yes. But I have the right to my own opinion and I choose to believe I was wrestling Kasie, the mighty Kasie, to a standoff. With a great deal of effort I forced my way back up on my elbows and pushed up driving into her right shoulder with all the force I could muster. For a moment I had the advantage an offensive lineman has when he gets under the defenseman, and managed to move her back on the mat until we reached the edge and she fell onto a sofa.
"Should we break?"
I tried to make this sound like I was demonstrating good sportsmanship in releasing an advantageous position but it wasn’t that convincing since my head was still tucked in her armpit.
"Good idea." More points for me.
I’d already worked up a pretty good sweat and was happy there were no mirrors around to show me how flushed I was from the nonpressured headlock. She, on the other hand, glistened only where my sweat had clung to her. She oozed confidence but it appeared to be tinged with interest in how things were proceeding. No sign of lingering anger over my previous blunders. I decided she really loves to wrestle and was finding me if unworthy at least an energetic opponent, plus the nonsubmission style could have been a pleasant change of pace.
We locked arms again. Ziggy had taught me to get an arm around my opponent’s neck and force her down or spin her into a headlock. At least she’d taught me the concept. The few times I was able to get my arms on Kasie’s neck I discovered that I’d need at least my whole body weight to make it go anywhere. She allowed me to get inside her arms, come up off my knees and drive her down on her back. Before I had the chance to gloat, however, her legs were locked around my waist. She smiled up at me.
"Now where do you think you’re going to go, honey?"
"You’re the one with shoulders on the mat."
"And you’re going to keep them there?"
She put up only token resistance to my getting my hands on her shoulders and lifting up to get my full weight pressing them to the mat.
"Left’s up. Oh. Right’s up. Don’t think this is going to do it for you."
Then she twisted her hips bringing me to the mat on my side. Before she could release the scissors and roll me the rest of the way on my back, I was able to wriggle onto my stomach.
Splat! She landed full weight across my back, then pivoted into a full straddle position.
"So many ways to make you submit from here."
"Pins, remember."
"How can I forget when you remind me every thirty seconds?"
"Call it my instinct for survival."
"Well, I’m sure I can still find a way to have a little fun."
Kasie proceeded to hit me with a series of hip thrusts, ramming my lower abdomen into the mat. Fortunately, my abs are pretty tight and my privates remain tucked safely away in my jock (I have never been able to figure out how anyone could get an erection when putting a full effort in staying alive), so there wasn’t any great harm done. She then put her forearm on the left side of my head and did her best to press the imprint of my right ear permanently into the mat.
"Ready to turn over yet?" she had again dropped her body prone over mine and said it in the same calm, but ominous tone that parents use when the only sane answer is yes.
"Only if you can make me?" the false bravado of a fool.
Before the words were out, she’d slid her left arm under mine and had me in a half nelson, slipped into a straddle that allowed my torso to move, and was well on the way to proving that where the head goes the body will follow. I tried to roll with it and bring her over with me but she was quick to drop her lower body weight back on mine. As she locked my legs in a grapevine, it was clear I wasn’t going anywhere.
"Think you’re pinned, babe."
"Not even close. You’re arm’s under my shoulder." Her left arm was still under my neck so my shoulders weren’t down.
"Aren’t you the picky one! Try this." She pulled her arm out and placed both hands on my shoulders. With my arms free I was able to push one shoulder or the other up.
"You are a pain." She sounded like she was having fun - that’s always a good sign. Suddenly she released the grapevine brought her knees up straddling my chest, leaned up and forward so her upper body weight was bearing down on my shoulders and her lower body weight only allowed a few inches of motion upward until it met the immovable force. I got my feet under me and pushed up but she appeared not to feel the pressure, much less react to it. I was able to grab her forearms but with my shoulders pushed through the mat, I had no strength to budge them.
"One, two, three. Pin. Yes!"
She rolled off with light laughter.
"Actually, there’s no three count. You have to pin me until I give up."
"You and your rules. That didn’t count?"
"No that counted. I would have fought it longer, but we both know I never would have gotten out. Really though, I think you’ll have more fun holding the pin for a longer time. I know I will."
And I did. Kasie was great fun. Way too strong and skilled for me to have a prayer of gaining a pin, but willing to adjust to my rules and appear to enjoy them.
Moments I particularly enjoyed.
Holding her in a reverse pin - her head held lightly between my thighs while I kept my head against the outside of one of hers. She had agreed to let me apply a pinning hold and see how long it took to escape. While I lost any pressure on the head scissors immediately, I was able to maintain my weight distribution and prevent her from escaping for several minutes. Not only did she say I’d made her work hard to escape, she wiped sweat off her brow to prove it.
The preamble to placing her in another hold - a judo lock hold down again with my head facing her feet but resting above her chest while one arm immoblized her head and one arm and my weight distributed to prevent her from rolling. I have forgotten how to apply this hold the way Ziggy taught me so it always takes me some time to figure out what I’m doing. As I was kneeling behind her head and staring at her she asked, "What’s the matter? You see something else that interests you?". Clearly my gaze appeared to be directed at her breasts, quite a reasonable assumption. I’m not that old - and never will be. But I assured her my intentions were honorable. I was just trying to figure out how to put her at my mercy for a change. (She reversed that hold within fifteen seconds. Ziggy would be very disappointed in me.)
Every pinning hold. Kasie soon caught on that it was more interesting to toy with me awhile and then put me in a hold that allowed for a struggle but not for an escape. If nothing else, I put a lot of effort into trying to get out. And occasionally I was successful in prolonging the action. Eventually she put me away with a cross body, a grape vine with arms stretched above my head, a headlock, and a breast smother. I’m always amazed at how effective a hold that is, not as a smother but as a pin. When you’re trapped in the valley with a woman’s arms around your head pulling you tightly against her chest, there really is little possibility of escape. As always the effort leaves you exhausted rather than turned on but when you think later about where you were ?
The slightly early end. Late in the hour I was putting out effective resistance to her efforts to turn me. With a sudden burst of power, she exploded against my straining fibers. I felt a pop just a bit below my heart. No pain, but still scary enough that I immediately gave to the pin and then expressed concern. She was a great nurse, probing for tenderness, massaging the area carefully. Since there was no pain, I suggested we try it one more time but immediately it popped again so I called it a day, apologizing for being such a wuss.
"Oh no. You don’t have to apologize. You’re a really good wuss. You really put up a fight and it’s neat to feel you struggling and watch how hard you try to escape even when you know you’re going to wind up submitting. You don’t like pain and you don’t want to get hurt. Nothing wrong with that. In fact, you’re a lot of fun to wrestle. I didn’t think I could have that good a time wrestling for pins."
OK. I know what you’re thinking. This fool pays a woman to wrestle him and then believes every compliment she hands him. Get real.
So tell me. What harm is fantasy? No woman in this society is going to wrestle a 53 year old man she doesn’t know just for the fun of it. So maybe they enjoy it, maybe they don’t. Look at it this way. Kasie was the biggest stretch I’ve made in selecting opponents. She’s a body builder with a marvellously powerful figure. I admire body builders for having the commitment to get that shape, but I am not attracted by it. There are other facial types that appeal to me more than hers. She had her hair in a braided style that was far less appealing to me than the natural look in her pictures. Conversely, I am willing to bet that if she selected a male look that appealed to her it would have little similarity to mine.
The fact is that she was so nice, so sensitive, and so talented that none of those factors were important. She gave me tremendous entertainment value for the money invested. And the bottom line is I not only had fun, I liked her just the way she was. She may have come to the plate with two strikes against her, but mighty Kasie still hit a home run with me.