Note: As originally posted, this story contained a blank line between sections, and (mostly) indented paragraphs. So that the formatting would turn out right, I changed it to non-indented paragraphs with a line between each, and three blank lines between sections. I also think these changes make it easier to read, though "easier" is a relative term.

Unruhe

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(The author gave the story the same title as the episode it follows up on. See "Laziness" rating at end for more.)

Rating: PG-13?

Spoilers: Unruhe, Tooms, Irresistible

Keywords: Post-ep, MSR

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters (wish I did!) so please don't sue me(,) Mr. C and 1013!!

Archive: Anywhere! Just lemme know 1st!

Summary: Post-Unruhe. (Blech. This is not a summary. Again, see "Laziness" rating at end of story.)

Notes: I didn't think there was as much done with that lovely scene at the end of Unruhe that there could have been so here are my ideas on what happened next... (Okay, a good idea. Could have, should have, been better executed, but not a bad premise.) Feedback PLEASE!!!! PS I know Spender hadn't appeared at this time but deal with it. ("Deal with it"? Those are fighting words. See "Laziness" rating at end.) For lucy and all her encouragement!

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Scully stepped out into the bright early morning sunlight. Mulder had called her at 5am to tell her she should get down to the office because he had a new lead on their current case he thought they should follow up. (He'd thought about telling her they shouldn't follow up on it, of course, but eventually changed his mind.) Not that she had been having a particularly good night's sleep. She was plagued with visions and dreams from their last case that Gerry was still alive. (Scully would not refer to this criminal who kidnapped her by his first name. It would be last name all the way: Schnauz.) She had been having them ever since she returned home after she had been kidnapped. Mulder had rescued her and she couldn't help thinking she could have been a bit more thankful. She knew that she owed Mulder her life -he had risked his on countless occasions to save her. Recently her feelings for her partner had overwhelmed her. She had known she was in love with him but not until recently (Did you say "recently" twice to make absolutely sure we would get your point?) had her heart leapt every time she saw him or had she taken every possible opportunity to be with him. She had no recollection of when these feelings became apparent (You just said, TWICE, that it was "recently"), but she found herself having to hide them in fear that he didn't feel the same way. (GAAAK.)

As Scully drove to the office(,) she realised she couldn't tell Mulder about the dreams. She knew he still blamed himself for letting he (her) go out on her own even though she insisted that it wasn't (because she was a trained agent and he had no reason to keep her on a leash). She also found herself wondering if she'd ever find the courage to knock down the walls she had built and just tell him how she felt. Her greatest fear was the feeling not being as mutual as she hoped and then the best friendship she had ever had being completely destroyed. (Loads of clumsy recap, and I am just going to ignore the many grammar problems.)

Scully arrived at the office she and her partner shared, to find Mulder seated at his desk deep in concentration. When she entered(,) he looked up and smiled.

"Hey(,) Scully! Sorry to wake you this early but I think we should head over to New Jersey - they've found another body."

"Ok(,) let's go(.)"

(Um, question here. Instead of making Scully come to the office before he told her the news, why didn't Mulder give it to her over the phone? If someone woke me up with a 5 a.m. phone call, I'd sure want details on the spot.)

Now they were driving on the long road to the crime scene in more or less silence. (Either it was silent, or it wasn't. Oh, and there should be a comma instead of a period at the end of that last sentence, and "although" should have a lowercase a.) Although it wasn't an uncomfortable one. Both were deep in though (thought).

Scully was thinking about her nightmares, (use ; instead of ,) they had never been this bad even after the abduction. (Which one?) She would wake up in the middle of the night covered in sweat and screaming out her partner(')s name without even realising (it). She couldn't help thinking that her nightmares might come true and he might come after her and try to kill her again. (She was afraid MULDER was going to try to kill her? Well, that's how you made it sound.)

Mulder was trying to concentrate on driving but his mind was wondering (wandering?, and use period instead of comma here), h(H)e knew something was bothering Scully, (use ; instead of ,) recently she seemed to be so distant. He wished more than anything in the world that she would open up to him and tell him her worries and her feelings but how long had they been partners? 4 (write it out) years? She had only ever really opened up once(:) after Pfaster had abducted her. 4 (Four) years. It seemed such a short amount of time but they had been through so much together. Her abduction (I assume you mean the one by Duane Barry?), Pfaster, Tooms and now her recent Kidnapping (With a capital K, no less.) by Gerry. (Like Scully, Mulder would also use the last name, Schnauz, when thinking of this criminal.) Apart from all the pain(,) those had been the best 4 (four) years of his life. Ever since the little red head ("the little red head"? GAAAAK.) had walked into his office his life had changed. All the pain that each of them had suffered had brought them closer together and had made Mulder realise how much he loved her. But no matter which way he looked at it( ,) all the pain she suffered was down (due) to him so how could she ever feel the same? (What about "all the pain" we readers are suffering?) Sometimes he wished she would go and leave him so that all her grief and agony (Got tired of saying "all the pain," huh?) she had been through might go away. (If it had already happened, how could it go away?) And then he would nearly hit himself (use ; instead of ,) how would he go on if she left? He wouldn't(.) i(I)t was simple and straight forward ("straightforward" is one word, and use ; instead of ,) he relied on her. She was the only person in the world that (who) he trusted with his life, the person her (he) cared most about in the whole world. But what would she ever want with a loser like me? (Who WOULD want someone who whines this much? And why the switch to first-person POV?)

As they arrived at the crime scene(,) they immediately went to find out exactly what all the details were. (They thought about all the other things they could do, like sightsee or go camping, but duty won out.) They discovered that it was the next (latest) in a long chain of murders. The victims were stabbed, raped and had the same star sign scratched in their lower left arm. The case wasn't bothering Scully as much as she expected(;) she was too tired and pre occupied ("preoccupied" is one word) with her nightmares to be concentrating properly (concentrate properly).

They entered the deep forest and walked in silence to the actual area she was found. (They had a choice between going there, or to the fake area.) When they reached it(,) they found a girl in her early twenties laid awkwardly in a pool of blood. (Much like that last sentence.) Mulder still after this long time working on the X Files didn't like the sight of the dead so turned away briefly. (Sahara still after this long time reading badfic didn't like the sight of the mangled sentence so turned away briefly to hurl.)

The on-scene pathologist stood. He was a balding man of about 50. As he stood Scully saw Gerry stood. (As she read Sahara saw sentence wrong.) She gasped and blinked and it was just an unshaven(,) confused old man. (I wish gasping and blinking would fix this story for me.) She had to get away. (Because unshaven, confused old men are so frightening.) Mulder heard Scully let out a gasp and turned to her to see her face go pale. (POV fun!)

"Scully(,) are you-?"

"I have to just..." but she didn't finish her sentence(;) she just turned and hurried back towards the car.

The pathologist(,) who looked utterly confused(, and he isn't the only one) started never the less ("nevertheless" is one word) to tell Mulder about the body, it was the same killer as the last... (The body was a killer? Really? That's amazing!) But Mulder stopped listening and looked around(.) t(T)he only thing that could have bothered her (The killer?) was the body. (')Damnit(,) why won't she tell me?(') Well(,) he decided(,) he was going to find out(,) and he abruptly told the pathologist he'd be back and he jogged after Scully.

Scully sat in the car with her head in her hands taking deep breaths (Her head was taking deep breaths?) and trying to calm herself down. (Maybe if she did, she'd be able to compose a grammatically correct thought.) She had been so sure (Of what?) but then she had blinked and he was gone. She looked up to see Mulder jogging up the little dirt track. (")Damnit(,") she muttered under her breathe (breath.) w(W)hat was she going to say to him? ("Save me from bad writers!" would be a good start.)

Mulder slowed down as he approached the car. He walked round to the drivers seat and climbed in. Neither of them said anything for a moment until Scully said: "I know what you're thinking(,) Mulder... but I'm fine(,) really(.)" (How about rephrasing the first part of that sentence? "After a moment, Scully said...")

"Yeah(,) Scully(,) so you keep saying(,) but I can see that you aren't. Please will you just tell me what is wrong?" He grabbed her hand and squeezed it gently.

Scully could feel her walls crumbling by the second. Tears welled in her eyes; Mulder saw them and grasped her hand tighter. (He will do that several more times in this story.)

"It sounds so stupid...but since-" She was about to continue when Agent Spender knocked on the window. (Well, didn't he just pop up out of nowhere?) Scully immediately let go of Mulder's hand, climbed out of the car and walked hurriedly up the track back to the main road. (')How could I have been so stupid(?') she thought, drying her eyes(. ')He'd never believe me.(') (Of course not, because Mulder's the skeptic who doesn't believe in shapeshifters, or genderbenders, or miracles even when he sees them. He certainly wouldn't believe his partner, despite his claim that she is the only person he trusts.)

Mulder(,) meanwhile(,) had said all the swear words under the sun to himself as he got out of the car and faced Agent Spender. (He must have gotten out of that car awfully slowly.) (')Damn(,) she had been about to tell me when Mr(.) Tactful knocked on (my empty head). Shit.(') He got out of the car. (He got out of the car twice?)

"Agent Mulder, I've been sent down here by AD Skinner to help you catch this guy(.)"

"We don't need your help(,)" H(h)e shot back bitterly(.)

"Yes(,) I think you do. After all, how many bodies have there been? What is it(,) 9 (nine) now? And you still haven't caught the killer(,) have you? Why doesn't that surprise me!"

Mulder took a deep breath(. ')God(,) this guy's a worm(,') he thought. He could see over Spender's shoulder that Scully was heading back up to the main road(,) probably to the cafe across on the other side, he thought.

"Agent Mulder?"

"What?" he asked(,) anger boiling inside him(.) h(H)e had (Make that "He had had") just about enough of this guy(.)

"I said(,) where is Agent Scully off to in such a hurry(?) y(Y)ou know(,) you two really are two of the strangest people I've ever-" but he was cut short by Mulder grabbing (change to "as Mulder grabbed") his jacket and threw him against the car. (Mulder doesn't have THAT short of a fuse.)

"Look..." but (he) didn't know what to say to him. He was anxious to get to Scully and this guy was seriously getting on his nerves.

"What are you doing here anyway(?) y(Y)ou've never wanted to help us before? (period, not ?)" (If Mulder couldn't think of anything to say, then where did this dialogue come from?)

"I don't want to help you(.) I'm here because if I catch this guy then I am almost certain for a promotion."

"God(,) you are a selfish Son of a Bitch(,) aren't you?" (What is with the weird capitalization?)

"Well, you know how he likes young(,) tarty(-)type women(.) w(W)ell(,) what if we used bait(?) s(S)omeone trained to handle it(,) like Agent Scully(,) for example(?) y(Y)es(,) he (He who? I thought they were talking about Scully.) is just his type(,) and then we'd get him and..." He was cut short again but this time by Mulder's fist hitting his jaw with such a force it sent him to the ground.

"You know..." but again he couldn't think of what to say to him. What a stupid idea(.) t(T)hat certainly wasn't going to happen if he had anything to do with it. What did he mean(,) Scully was his type? He didn't stay around to find out(.)  h(H)e decided to go and find Scully. He jogged up to the cafe on the main road and entered. When he saw her(,) he slowed down and walked cautiously over to her. She was nursing a cup of coffee and looked exhausted.

"Hey(,) Scully(,)" H(h)e said as she looked up.

"Oh(,) hi(,) Mulder(. Haven't seen you in about three whole minutes.)"

He sat down and tried to grasp her hand but she pulled it away. (She knew that if she let him take it, he would squeeze it tightly.)

"Mulder(,) please-I'm sorry about before...I'm ok(,) really(.)"

"If I thought that was true then I'd leave it alone but you aren't,(. instead of ,) I know you try and hide your feelings but it doesn't work with me(.) I can tell when you are (Mulder would say "you're") upset."

Scully could feel her self ("herself" is one word) getting angry(.) s(S)he hated the way he could read her like a book.

"Mulder(,) please stop it...just stop it(,)" she said quietly as she stood to leave.

"It's OK(,) Scully...I'm sorry(.) I can see you're not ready to talk about it yet but...I just want you to know that I'm here if you need me(,) OK?"

Scully felt a lump form in her throat but she swallowed it just enough to say: "Thanks(.)" All she could think was(,) God(,) she loved this man! (God, this is hard to read without laughing!)

They walked back to the car in silence. (See? Even they realized how stupid their dialogue sounded.) When they got there(,) Assistant Director Skinner was on the phone and wanted to talk to Mulder. Scully looked confused as Mulder walked away slightly(,) seemingly having an argument with him.

When he hung up he didn't say anything(.) h(H)e just walked to the car and climbed inside as a rather bruised Spender (Oh, he's still there?) said: "Bye(,) Agent Mulder" with a satisfied smile on his face. As they got inside(, and I thought they were already inside) Scully gave him (Who? Spender?) a questioning glance.

"Mulder?" she prompted him(.)

"I've been thrown off the case(,)" he said(.)

"But why?"

He didn't say anything, if he had to tell her the reason he knew she would be angry(.) (What is WITH these improperly punctuated sentences? Did this author never take an English class?)

"Mulder(,) why?"

"Look(,) you can carry on here if you want to and carry on(.)"(A British phrase. Mulder would never say "carry on" once, let alone twice in a sentence.)

"No(,) if you're going(,) I'm going(,)" she said and smiled(.)

He saw it and hoped it would end there and she wouldn't ask. Scully could obviously tell he didn't want to talk about it so didn't persist.

They had been driving for a little while before curiosity overwhelmed her.

"Mulder(,) I'm sorry but what did you do?" (Wait just one little second here. I thought Scully had just decided not to bug him because she could tell he didn't want to talk. So why the HELL did she wait only "a little while" before pestering him?)

"Well(,) I(,) err...hit Spender(,)" he said sheepishly(.)

"Why?" she said with the look that said it all. (Maybe I'm slow, but I don't understand what kind of look that might happen to be.)

"You don't want to know(.)" (Well, you got THAT right.)

"Mulder(,)" she said(,) and he could tell she was starting to get slightly annoyed. (Like she had a right to be annoyed. He indicated that he didn't want to talk and she pressed the issue against his wishes. If anyone should be pissed, it's Mulder.)

"Well(,) I don't really think I should tell you...but he said that to catch this guy we should use bait(--)try and set up something(.)"

"And?"

"And(,)" he said(,) taking a deep breath(,) "He said he thought you would be perfect and just his 'type'...so I hit him(.)"

Scully didn't know what to say. (But she said something anyway.)

"Mulder(,) you could have jeopardized the X Files(,) never mind your career(,) by doing that!!" (Like that ever stopped him from doing dumb things before.)

"Yeah(,) but I wasn't going to let him talk about you like that(.)"

Scully felt a warm tingle (of irritation and disgust) go down the back of her neck. (Mulder's macho posturing was making her skin crawl.)

"Mulder(,) you didn't have to do that(.)"

"Yeah(,) well...the guy(')s a jerk anyway(.)"

"My H(h)ero(,)" she thought and smiled to herself. (No. No. No. No. No. Do I really have to explain this one? Sigh. Scully would not consider it heroic of Mulder to punch another agent because he suggested that she be used as bait for a killer. She would consider that action to be rash and unnecessary. She doesn't need or want a man to run interference for her.)

The drive back to Washington was a long(,) tedious one and it wasn't long before it was dark. Scully had fallen asleep in the front seat and Mulder had laid his trench coat around her. It was only about an hour till they got home but Mulder had to get something to eat so he stopped at a takeaway to get a sandwich, leaving Scully asleep in the front seat.

(Pit stop. Let us discuss the timeline here. Now, I don't live in the eastern U.S., and I have only a vague idea of driving distances/times in that area of the country. But isn't the Internet wonderful? You can research just about anything! Follow along with me: At 5 a.m., Mulder called Scully. I'll allow an hour for her to get ready and drive from her apartment to the office. There, she talked to Mulder for about a minute, and then they hit the road to New Jersey. The author didn't indicate where in New Jersey they went, but I found out that the approximate driving time from D.C. to the northernmost area of N.J. is not quite five hours. It could have taken less time, depending on whether their destination was in the middle or southern part of the state. Anyway, adding it up, they should have arrived at about 11 a.m., at the latest. They walked into the woods, Scully ran out, they talked a bit, Mulder got in trouble, and Skinner ordered him off the case. Allow another hour for that action. It would then be noonish. They started to drive home, and "it wasn't long before it was dark." Huh? Since when is it dark in the eastern U.S. at 2 or 3 p.m.? Moving on...)

When she awoke(,) Scully found herself covered in Mulder's trench coat but the owner was nowhere in sight. It took her a couple of minutes to work out where she was but she figured that Mulder's appetite had overcome him once again. (Our nation is really in trouble if an FBI agent, trained in the art of observation, needed "a couple of minutes" to figure out she was at a rest stop.) She was about to get out when she glanced up ahead and saw Gerry stood staring at her. ("Stood staring"? Ouch. That phrase is so awkward, it hurts to read it.) Her heart stopped when he started running towards her. (If her heart stopped, wouldn't she be unable to move?) She thought about getting out but then decided she'd be safer if she locked the doors so she leaned over to Mulder's side and pushed down the little button before she climbed into the backseat. She looked up ahead he had reached the car almost and had started banging on the windows trying to smash the glass. (Questions: Why is a period the only punctuation in that sentence? Is looking "up ahead" the same as looking "up," or the same as looking "ahead," or both? If the man had only "almost" reached the car, how could he bang on the windows?) She started screaming out her partner's name.

Mulder left the takeaway (Another British usage. Americans do not use this word.) and glanced at the car. He saw an old drunk trying to get into the car by smashing the windows. He dropped his sandwiches and ran as fast as he could over to the car. As he got closer he could hear Scully screaming his name before pulling his gun out and shoving it in the guy's back. (How did Scully get hold of Mulder's gun if she was in the car and he was outside it?) He (Which "he"?) immediately stopped banging as he realised what it was, (period instead of comma) Mulder looked inside the car to see Scully sat in a ball crying. (Please, Natalie, if you are still in school, pay more attention in English class. And if you're out of school, shame on you for not writing proper sentences.) When he looked back the old drunk was running off so he ignored him and concentrated on getting in the car. (If Mulder had shoved his gun against the drunk's back, how did the guy run away without Mulder realizing it?)

"Scully! o(O)pen the doors(.)"

"Mulder?" she sobbed and reached forward to unlock the side door.

He climbed in beside her and instantaneously put his arms around his sobbing partner and held her tightly. (Ouch.) He stroked her hair and her back, whilst whispering soothing tones to her.

"Shh(,) it's ok(,) Scully-I've got you now(,) you're safe(.)"

She eventually stopped crying and started shaking (with dying convulsions. Mulder had put her in a chokehold once too often). He continued to hold her tightly (, not realizing she was struggling to breathe).

"Scully?" W(w)as all he could say(. Even Natalie's version of Mulder was beginning to question whether she was the REAL Scully.)

"Mulder(,) I'm so sorry..."

"No(,) don't be" (no quotes, but you do need a period there.) there is no need to be sorry after that(period, new sentence, capitalize "What", I am so sick of correcting this type of mistake.) what is there to be sorry for?"

"I should have told you what was wrong before(,)" she said as silent tears fell down her face. (She had already used up her supply of talking tears.)

"Will you tell me now?"

"It sounds so stupid...I'm so ashamed of myself...I didn't want you to be ashamed of me too(.)"

"Oh(,) Scully(,) nothing you could do would make me ashamed of you...you understand that(,) don't you?"

She nodded against hi (his) chest.

"I keep having these nightmares...that Gerry isn't dead at all(period, new sentence, capitalize "He's") he's really alive and he's coming after me...I keep seeing him(period, new sentence, capitalize "Just") just now(,) Mulder(,) I saw him!"

"No...no(,) you didn't(,) Scully(,) don't worry(period, new sentence, capitalize "That") that was just some old drunken man. Gerry's dead(.) I shot him...is that who you thought you saw when we were back at the crime scene?"

She nodded and began sobbing again (Not AGAIN!), she was apprehensive that she had told him she was glad because she had got it off her chest to the only person she really trusted; but she didn't want Mulder to blame himself. (Oh, forget it. I'm leaving that last sentence alone. Just do me a favor and read it twice more before moving on.) Mulder just kept hold of her and kept stroking her hair.

"It's OK(,) Scully(,) you're safe now(.) I'm not going to let anything else happen to you(.)"

Scully lay there in his arms until she fell into a light sleep. He picked her up and put her in the front seat and laid his coat around her. Then he climbed into the front seat, took once (one) last glance at the sleeping figure next to him and started the car.

As they reached Scully's apartment, Mulder found that she was still asleep and he didn't have the heart to wake her so he carried her up to her apartment and laid her on the bed. He threw his coat on the floor and covered her with her duvet. She shifted to get comfy (comfortable) before continuing into a deeper sleep. Mulder decided to risk her being angry and sleep on the couch. It wasn't as comfy (comfortable) as his own but he probably realised he wouldn't sleep. (I probably realized this story would keep me awake, too.) Instead he just felt sorry for himself. How could she still trust him? He'd almost lost her again and no matter which way he looked at it, it was his fault because he had let her go out on her own. (Hold on a minute here. As I recall from watching "Unruhe," Scully went to get the car so she and Mulder could follow a lead. Schnauz nabbed her at that point. How was that Mulder's fault? What was he supposed to say? "Scully, since you never know when something terrible might happen, I am going to keep you on a three-foot leash at every second so I can constantly monitor you"?  Mulder knows that Scully is a competent agent. He didn't blame himself because he let her go to get the car. If he did blame himself, it was because he didn't realize in time that Scully was Schnauz's next target.) Tears formed in his eyes as he realised he wouldn't be able to go on with out (without) her. How could she love him after all the pain he cause her? He turned over, curled up and cried himself to sleep. (All of this wailing is making me sick. Not to mention Mulder crying himself to sleep. Give me a break!)

His partner screaming out his name awaked him not long after.

"MULDER...PLEASE HELP ME!"

He was by her side in seconds trying to wake her up.

"Mulder(,) please help me(.)" She started to calm down only very slightly, and opened her eyes to see her partner sat on the edge of the bed with a very worried look on his face. (He was extremely concerned because Scully saw him sat and he feared she was losing her ability to think clearly.)

"Oh(,) Mulder..." she said barely above a whisper and reached out to him knowing he'd be there, as she began to sob. Mulder held her as tears formed in his own eyes and began to fall silently down his cheeks. (It was bad enough when just one of them was crying.) He hated to see her in so much pain but was glad she had finally opened up to him and would let him comfort her. Neither of them heard the door open or the dark, silent figure slip inside. Nor did they hear him silently slip into to Scully's room. (What WASN'T silent in this paragraph?)

"How...touching(,)" the voice said. Mulder and Scully both jumped as Spender's voice emerged from the darkness.

"YOU!" T(t)hey said in perfect unison. (Delete "perfect".)

"Why(,) yes!"

"What the hell do you think-" Mulder started shouting until Spender pulled a gun out on them both. Mulder immediately sat down and put his arms protectively round Scully.

"What do you want?" Mulder asked(,) trying to keep his anger subdued.

"Funny you should ask that. There is a murderer running round(,) now(,) isn't there? Well(,) in case you hadn't guessed(,) that's me! Ha(,) ha(,) you look surprised(period, new sentence, capitalize "You") you mean you didn't know?!? Well(,) anyway(,) the murderer is going to claim one last victim... that's you(,) Scully!" He paused for effect(.) Scully felt Mulder's arms tighten around her (yet again).

"And instead of waiting around for everyone to know it was me(,) I'm going to kill you(,) making it look like suicide(,) and then frame you for all these murders(,) leaving me to discover it all. Then(,) as you are rotting in your graves(,) I am on my way to a promotion." (Surely there are easier ways to get promoted.)

"That's just ludicrous(,)" Mulder said(.) (That's for sure.)

"No(,) I ensure you(,) it's brilliant(.)"

"But you can't!" Scully said suddenly and tears welled up in her eyes. (I guessed I missed all the episodes where Scully burst into tears every five minutes.)

Spender pointed the gun at Scully and instructed her: "You(,) over here now(,)" he ordered(.)

"No-" Mulder started(.)

"I said now!" (lowercase s) Shouted Spender,(period instead of comma) Scully pulled away from Mulder and slowly walked over to Spender. Spender grabbed hold of her and shoved her up against the wall before walking over to Mulder and pulling out a length of rope. He then preceded (proceeded) and tied Mulder's arms and legs. The he pointed the gun at her head but instead of shooting her he started kissing her roughly. (When did Mulder get a sex change?) She couldn't stop him he would have killed her. He was too strong for her to pull away. Mulder was trying desperately to get his arms undone. Spender had tied his feet to the foot post at the bottom of Scully's bed so he couldn't even go and try and kick him.

"Let go of her!" he shouted as he wriggled to get free.

Scully managed to pull away briefly for a moment just enough time to slap him forcefully across his face. (Why did Scully slap Mulder?) This angered Spender and he shoved her hard against the far wall then he started hitting her until her body fell limp on the floor. (Why was Spender angry that Scully slapped Mulder?) Mulder in the mean time was shouting and screaming for him to stop while twisting and turning his wrists desperately trying to get them undone. His heart nearly stopped when she fell limp against the floor. At that presise (precise) moment his hand slid across something under Scully's pillow. Her gun! Of course he should have known she'd keep a spare one. (And under the pillow is just the place she'd choose.) He gave his wrists one last twist and the rope snapped he grabbed the gun and shot Spender in the back. Then he undid his feet and rushed to Scully's side.

"Scully? Please wake up!"

She wasn't responding so he felt her pulse(period, new sentence, capitalize "After") after a few seconds he felt a very weak one and ran to get his cell phone to call an ambulance. Spender lay unconscious on the floor. Mulder was unsure if he would live and quite frankly he didn't care. He was more concerned now that Scully was going to survive.

The ambulance arrived within minutes and Scully was taken to the hospital, Mulder not leaving her side for a moment. When they reached the hospital Scully was taken to be examined. Mulder sat in the corridor with silent tears falling down his face. (His supply of talking tears had also run out.) (')Please(,) God(,) let her be all right,(') he prayed. About ten minutes later(,) Scully's doctor left her room and entered the corridor.

"Did you bring Miss Scully in?" he asked(.) Mulder nodded.

"Well(,) she's got 2 (two) broken ribs, concussion and quite a few cuts and bruises(,) but I think she's going to be OK." ('Hmm,' thought Mulder. 'Spender only hit her on the head and shoulder. I wonder how she got those broken ribs. It couldn't have been from me clutching her all the time, could it?') (new paragraph) Relief flooded into Mulder's blood.

"Can I see her?"

"She hasn't woken up yet but I don't see why not(,)" he replied with a smile.

Mulder rose from his chair and entered the room where Scully lay in the hospital bed. He went straight to her side and sat in a chair. Tears came to his eyes; they were with relief and sorrow. Thank God she was going to be all right.

He decided that when she woke up he was going to confront his feelings and tell her how he felt. Scared? Of course he was he may destroy their friendship but that didn't stop him he was going to do it. He grabbed hold of her hand and squeezed it tightly. (He decided she needed a few more broken bones to add to her collection.)

Scully awoke to find herself in a hospital bed with Mulder's head lay by her side and her hand in his. She suddenly remembered how she got here and tears filled her eyes. (Is there anything that doesn't make her cry?) Mulder was sound asleep. She gently stroked a piece of hair out of his eyes and he was awaking shocked. (I was reading irritated.)

"Scully! You're awake(,)" he said as relief swamped his voice. "How are you feeling?"

"Very sore(,)" she said(.) "How long have I been unconscious?" she asked(.)

"About 12 hours or so(,) I think(.)"

"Oh(,) Mulder(,) you haven't been here all that time(,) have you?"

He nodded sleepily and smiled. She sat up and winced in pain,(use ; instead of ,) she thought her head was going to explode.

"Don't move too much(.) the doctor says you've got 2 (two) broken ribs, concussion and a lot of cuts and bruises but you're going to be fine(.)"

She sat in silence for a moment before tears began to fall down her face. (If she cried this much on the show, no one would watch.) Mulder pulled her close and held her tightly (, breaking another of her ribs in the process).

"Ssh(,) it's OK, you're safe now(.)"

"Oh(,)Mulder(,) I was so scared(.) I thought he was going to kill me(.)"

Mulder's heart broke in two he hated seeing her in so much pain. But even though he had to say this. "Scully...I...I love you!" (Natalie, I  mean it. Work on your grammar skills. Seriously.)

Scully pulled away. "What?"

"I said I love you(.)" Mulder felt as if a he weight (Is "a he weight" anything like a "one-ton weight"?) had been lifted from his shoulders. (new paragraph)Tears fell down her face again. (Cripes, she cried when she saw a drunken old man. She cried when she had a nightmare. She cried when Spender threatened her. She cried when she realized she was in the hospital. I wish she would just STOP.)

"Oh(,) Mulder(,) I love you too(.)"

"No(,) Scully(,) you don't have to-"

"No(,) I mean it(,) Mulder(.) I've loved you for so long..."

He didn't let her finish he just leant down and kissed her gently. When they broke away he held her again until her breathing became slow and steady. Then he laid her back down and smiled. She murmed (murmured) in her sleep.

"Don't leave me(.)"

"I'll never leave you(,) Scully!" H(h)e whispered quietly. (Like the talking tears, all of his loud whispers had been used.)

*********

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Ratings

0=good, 5=bad in all categories

Evilness Rating:

3

Middle of the road. In the hands of a good writer, this story would have been worth reading.

Who ARE These People?:

3

I understand that Natalie wanted to show that Scully was undergoing a lot of stress due to the cumulative effects of the multiple abductions. So I'll give her a little leeway on the Weepy Scully characterization, although I don't believe that Scully would cry nearly as much as happened here. Mulder was alternately overly aggressive and overly wimpy. As for Spender, twisting him into a villain didn't work. See Laziness rating for more on this topic.

I Speech Goodly:

4.5

Numerous POV shifts. Awful punctuation and sentence structure. For instance:

"'Let go of her!' [Mulder] shouted as he wriggled to get free. Scully managed to pull away briefly for a moment just enough time to slap him forcefully across his face.  This angered Spender and he shoved her hard against the far wall then he started hitting her until her body fell limp on the floor."

Reading this passage, doesn't it seem as if Scully slapped Mulder, and Spender became angry at her for doing so? Well, obviously the author meant that Scully slapped and angered SPENDER, but that wasn't what she wrote.

I R A Gud Speler:

3

The spelling was good, but lack of proofreading drags down the score.

GAK-o-Tron:

3.5

Protective Mulder. Weepy Scully. "My Hero." Mulder crying himself to sleep. The inclusion of a case file saved this story from complete sappiness.

Laziness Quotient:

5

Natalie didn't proofread. (Or if she did, she missed a mountain of mistakes.) She didn't use a beta. She didn't come up with an interesting title. She didn't write a passable summary. Rather than create a villain, she copped out and changed history by making Spender a nutty bad guy.

Death to Clones:

3

Sappy declarations of love. Mulder and Scully in peril once again. The good material concerned Scully and her emotional problems.

And Your Point Was...?:

2

I like the idea of Scully dealing with the aftereffects of her abductions. Unfortunately, "Unruhe" didn't do it justice. At the end, was Scully "cured" by Mulder's love? Sure seemed that way!

Wild Card

What is a Beta?

And why don't more authors use them? Betas can help with spelling and grammar problems. Betas can give plot suggestions. Betas can tell authors when ideas are good, and when ideas are bad. Betas can also tell authors if their story has lost focus. Natalie, you should have used a beta.