To Live is To Love....*Part 1*

(Culprit...I mean, "Author") 

by 

[email protected]

(The SandWitch's aside: I may be living it, but sorry, I AIN'T loving it!!)

  9:30 a.m.

  Mulders apartment

  It was saturday, (or even Saturday!) and Mulder had been looking forward to this all week.  Just

  to sleep in; no cases to work on; nothing to worry about.  (oh yeah we all know how much MULDER likes having nothing to do!)

He got out of bed to go watch some TV and get some breakfast.  As he sat down at the table, he started to feel unusually depressed.  He didnt know why this melancholy

feeling all of the sudden settled over his mind. (Mulder? The Melancholy? All of THE sudden?  OUR Mulder?? Say it isn't so!!)

He figured it was just a phase, or he was tired or something but as the day wore on, he was feeling worse and worse about himself.  He decided to call Scully. Hey, maybe he

could cheer him up? (Maybe he would laugh at he for saying he at heself so damn many times.) She always had some sort of amazing power to make Mulder smile.

(I think they're called tits)

  "Scully?"

 "Actually im not really sure"

(WHAT??? Who's not sure? Of what? This story?)

  "I feel....I feel weird Scully; sad; angry. (Almost ...SANGRY....)   Im not liking this, and i dont know what to do.

(You mean you don't like feeling Sangry, Mulder?) I dont know whats causing all of this."

   storing your feelings up, and your body feels like it's time to let them out.  Is it Samantha?  (Is it the feeling that someone is talking rather abruptly,

out of turn? Without any indication or punctuation? Is that it? Cause I'm sure confused as hell!)

"No Scully, I dont know what this is.  Its not like that, it's different"

"Okay thanks Scully" (At the risk of seeming redundant, WHAT???)

Ten minutes later theres a knock on the door...(Oh the suspense...who could it be?)

  :::OH gosh, i can't believe i actually told her i was feeling depressed? (I can't believe I thought that statement was a question, either!) Why would i need to tell her that?  Why DID i call her.

(Why isn't there a question mark there?) Oh well, Mulder, too late noww:::::   (Oh Mulder, it's never too late for an internal monologue with you, Mulder.)

  "Hi Mulder, how are you feeling? Any better?"

  "Not really, but thanks.  I dont know whats wrong.  I just feel really horrible. ( I keep referring to me as I and me and I can't seem to get the hang of punctuation or capitalization, or even

quotation marks!)  I've been depressed before trust me, Samantha helped me with that new found feeling, but this is different, its a different feeling all together."

(You mean you feel different? )

  :::ring, ring:::: (You have got to be shitting me.  Is this improv??)

  Mulder motioned Scully to hang on a second while he answered the phone.

  "Mulder..."

   one of your things (It's hanging out and completely disjointed...it makes no sense)

"well, do you care to tell me what its about?" (actually, no, I couldn't care less.)

   home since last Friday.

  "What were they killed by?"

  Mulder, continued talking to Skinner for about 5 min. then hung up the phone, and sat down on the coach silently and gazed at the

  nothingness in front of him. (The coach grumbled at him to get out there and win one for the gypper--to

get out there, out of the nothingness of his cluttered apartment, which apparently includes his coach, concerned, partner, and interminable, run on

sentences with random, commas.)

Scully walked over and sat down next to him and placed her and on his back. (I'm sorry, no comment here. I'm too busy spitting milk out of my

nose.)

  "Mulder, is something wrong?"

  "Skinner just called. We have a new case"

  "What is it?"

  "Suicide..."

  "Do you want to elaborate a little bit on that one mulder?"

  (SUICIDE. A depressed idiot ends his/her life. By the way, do you want to fucking capitalize my last name?)

  She took her hand off his back and turned to face him and looked at him in

  the eye... (Also, while she was facing him, no doubt)

"Thirteen people have been found dead in their homes, all commited (is that the past tense of commite?)

suicide...because of depression"

"How do you know it was because of depression Mulder?"

(How do you know that they didn't commit suicide because they were so goddamn happy they couldn't stand it?  I am skeptical, I have to argue this one, Mulder.  Suicide

victims....depressed?  Now that is a really WAY out theory!!)

  "Skinner told me that he talked to the family's of these people and the victoms had called the family member to tell them of their depression, because it had gotten so bad."

(Oh, I see. Forgetting all about the victoms calling the family member, I just gotta interrupt here a sec.  So, let em get this straight...since suicide is NOT a federal crime, unless foul play is

suspected, Skinner is just running around calling FAMILIES of Suicide vicTIMS for fun?  Because the FBI would not have any business investigating such crap.  Plus also, Skinner,

being the boss, doesn't canvass cases. Even when "the family member" is involved.  Because he is the Assistant Director.  He directs his Agents.  But he was doing it anyway.  So, what you

mean is, it had gotten so bad, like that?)

  "Did these victims have any previous cases of serious depression in their  life?"

  "ummm, well i dont think so, nothing serious"  (Just your everyday run of the mill suicidal tendencies--from depression, of all things.)

"Thats strange"  ( It sure is. Usually sentences begin with a capital letter)

  Mulder turned to scully and took her and in his and  looked at her with the most serious face he could find. (It wasn't easy, either, because the maid had been in earlier and had cleared

the floor of all the other faces.  AND she'd taken all the "ands" too.  It was no wonder Mulder felt obliged to take her "and." He was all out!  And the serious faces! Oi!!  Mulder had to look

really hard to find a serious one.)

Scully started to get a little bit worried of Mulder's condition   ("Hmm," Scully thought. "I am a little bit worried of his condition..")

  "Scully, look at me, dont you think this is a little  weird. Im sitting here telling you about my depressed lonley self, when i find out 13 other people

  commited suicide due to the same symptoms im experiencing now." (And I'm still not using punctuation of any kind or even question marks! Isn't that odd??)

("Actually, no Mulder. Generally every fucking case of suicide ever freaking reported was due to depression.  You'd have to be some new kind of dimwit not

to know that. I do however, find it weird that you are telling me about your depressed "lonley" self, though)

  "But Mulder, you said that these victims called a 'family member' before they died. You didn't call someone from your family

  Mulder." (Of course, all your family members are dead or will soon be, but hey. )

"Scully, you are closer to my family right now then you will ever be. You ARE family Scully." (Mulder, I'm not anywhere near family then will I be your?  Are I you my know then??)

  Scully smiled and gave Mulder a hug. (Then a noogie) (Aw, you big loveable knucklehead!!  Why I oughtta....)

  "There's something else Scully.  There was one  woman, who had the same depression these 13 people suffered from, but she recovered." (She ran away far far away from this story, and is

living in seclusion on another newsgroup under an assumed name.)

  PART II COMING SOON

God NOOOOOOO!!!

  I'm sorry "Gillian."  But since we can be pretty damn sure that ain't yer real name, SHIT! Where the hell did this thing come from??  You have a computer, try using spell checker.  It won't correct the rather egregious errors in plot, but will sure help with whoppers like i and victom and familys.  Program Mulder and Scully into it and you might even avoid calling them mulder & scully.  Oh and these cute little things here----  " " They are "quotation marks" They signal the beginning and "end" of someone's remarks.  If they are internal monologue, they can be substituted with a variety of other things.

Just an idea.

Seriously, ma'am. You are guilty of PUI or posting under the influence.  Next time, for the love of GOD, please don't post before you have someone edit your work.

And please, one last thing.  If you don't get help at Charter, please, get help someplace else.