It's fun and
easy to create your own
X-Files
Fanfiction Poetry!
The Wicked Witch of the Yukon and The Wicked Witch of the Raging Tundra have been
highly impressed with the quality of the poetry flooding the
newsgroup and mailing lists lately.
NOT.
Sadly,
we've simply had to throw up our hands in disgust and march away from the poetry
table in our efforts to improve the overall quality of X-Files fanfiction.
Until
now.
We've realized just how easy it can be to write your own
X-Files fanfiction poetry. We used
as our model the consistent works of Susan Frankovich.
('Consistent' being a euphemism for "redundant, predictable and
trite".)
All
you have to do is:
s
Pick a structure from Column A
s
Pick a POV from Column B
s
Pick an Indenting Option from Column C
s
Pick an episode to elaborate upon from Column D
s
Pick a deep-seated emotion to reveal from Column E
s
Pick a title/theme to be repeated once in each
stanza from Column F
Yes, it's
just that easy!
See
below for a few sample poems we came up with, using this quick and easy formula!
The
SusanFrankovich-a-TronTM
|
Structure |
POV |
Indenting Option |
Episode to
Elaborate Upon |
Deep-Seated
Emotion to Reveal |
Title Theme to be repeated
once in each stanza |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Two
lines per stanza |
Mulder |
None |
Milagro |
Love |
Love |
|
Four
lines per stanza |
Scully |
Four
spaces for the he said/she said stanzas |
Memento
Mori |
Fear |
Death |
|
|
Skinner |
Five
spaces for the he said/she said stanzas |
Orison |
Trust |
Fate |
|
|
Mulder
and Scully |
Six
spaces for the he said/she said stanzas |
Never
Again |
Anger |
Dreams |
|
|
|
|
The
Movie |
Terror |
Sisters |
|
|
|
|
Closure |
Hope |
Anger |
|
|
|
|
Millennium |
I
want you |
Desire |
|
|
|
|
Emily |
I
need you |
Goldfish |
|
|
|
|
Pusher |
You
complete me |
Parallel
losses in their lives |
|
|
|
|
SUZ |
You
abandoned me |
Belief |
|
|
|
|
Triangle |
You
are too good for me |
Truth |
|
|
|
|
Redux
II |
You
are beautiful |
Trust |
|
|
|
|
2f/1s |
You
don't want him/her, you want me |
A
Kiss |
|
|
|
|
Beginning/End |
I
don't want him/her, I want you |
My
Only |
|
|
|
|
Amor
Fati |
|
My
One in Five Billion |
|
|
|
|
Clyde
Bruckman's... |
|
Your
Eyes |
|
|
|
|
Beyond
the Sea |
|
Sunflower
seeds |
|
|
|
|
Paper
Hearts |
|
Probes |
|
|
|
|
TFWID |
|
Loss |
|
|
|
|
HTGSC |
|
Hope |
|
|
|
|
Biogenesis |
|
Watching
you Sleep |
|
|
|
|
Folie
a Deux |
|
Comfort |
|
|
|
|
Detour |
|
Broken |
|
|
|
|
Ice |
|
The
Color Blue |
|
|
|
|
Little
Green Men |
|
Monsters |
|
|
|
|
Kitsunegari |
|
Loneliness |
|
|
|
|
Irresistable |
|
Fear |
|
|
|
|
Small
Potatoes |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Bad
Blood |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Home |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Field
Trip |
|
|
|
|
|
|
The
Unnatural |
|
|
And now...a
couple of samples!
|
The Wicked Witch of the Yukon has
decided upon: A:
Two lines per stanza B:
Mulder and Scully alternating POV C:
Four-space indenting
You don't want him/her, you want me The Truth by
the Wicked Witch of the Yukon I
know the truth I
saw it when you described him
I saw the truth
I knew it when you mocked him The
truth was plain When
I saw your secret smile
I knew the truth
When I saw you bristle You
don't want him I
know the truth
I don't want him
Don't you know the truth? You
don't want him I
am your truth
I don't want him
You are my truth The
truth is He
didn't have buck teeth
The truth is
He did have a bit of an overbite Please
don't spend the night alone with him In
truth, I'm the one who loves you
I don't want to spend the night alone with him
In truth, I'd rather spend it with you |
The Wicked Witch of the Raging Tundra has decided
upon:
A: 2 lines per
stanza
B: Mulder
POV
C: no
indenting
Fear Sisters by
the Wicked Witch of the Raging Tundra When
they took you away from me I
thought of my sister. I
felt broken and lost; I couldn't help you. Like
I couldn't help my sister. I
wanted to search the world for you like
I search for my sister. And
I knew they'd taken you because I love you like
I love my sister. So
I made it my mission to find you like
it is my mission to find my sister. And
I knew I couldn't live without you like
I can't live without my sister. I
was terrified to think I'd have to learn to live without you like
I've learned to live without my sister. But
then I found you. And I saved you. Will
I ever find my sister? |
There you
are!
Now go forth and create your own banal, lackluster verse!