(Here
we go again. Just looking at the
title makes me tired already.)
Masterplan
(Master Plan)
by TH001
FEEDBACK:
[email protected] (Good
to know British schools are as bad as American ones.)
DISTRIBUTION:
Ephemeral, Xemplary, Gossamer are fine. Any where (anywhere) else?
SPOILERS:
Scully mythology up to En Ami, but deals with the events
in Requiem
RATING:
PG
SUMMARY:
What if everything Scully has ever been told about her
health was a lie?
DISCLAIMER:
I don't own 'em yadda yadda yadda.
AUTHOR
NOTE: Not in anyway (any way)
connected with the plot lines of my otherm post-Requiem stories. This follows a
different theory --where it came from is a mystery. (What
are you doing, channeling the Delphic Oracle?)
This
time, it would be better if you HAVEN'T read my
____________________________________
He
leaned back slightly against the wall to take in the shear (sheer)
sterility of the operating room. (And an operating
room being sterile is bad in what way?)
The walls were a
glistening silver, the floor a polished white that looked like it was scrubbed
all the time. (I bet the stapholoccoci are really pissed
off.) The operating table in the center of the room matched the silver
tone of the walls, and the sheet covering the patient it held matched the floor.
(So it’s white and silver, thanks for the countdown.
Couldn’t this have been more interesting?)
Only
one nurse accompanied him in the room; she was preparing the
He had been truthful when she had told her (Pronoun trouble.) that when he looked at the sum of his life and what he'd leave behind, all his carefully layed (Please learn the difference between lay and lie. – laid) plans had gone to ruins. That is, the plans that didn't involve unknown mystery to this patient laying quietly on the table. (I am so confused. So, it’s the plans that don’t involve unknown mystery? Right.)
He
asked the nurse to leave; what he needed to tell her no one else should hear. (Is
she unconscious? If she’s
unconscious even SHE won’t hear it.) They couldn't hear it -- these
truthes (What truthes are those? Run spellcheck damn you!)
were for her alone to keep, even if she probably wouldn't consiously hear
a word. (Consciously.
And talking to the unconscious does SO much good.)
Slowly
. . . stiffly . . . he made his way to the table, stopping to blow the breath of
air being held firmly in his mouth. (I had to read this
one again for the shear (sic) joy of the bad description. How exactly does one hold air firmly? Just a little physics question that amuses me from time to
time.) He
felt the warm air disolve (dissolve) among the
clean, sterile air of the room. (How precisely does one
feel air dissolve? Doesn’t
something have to be solid to dissolve? This
is a solid to liquid reaction, right? And
this whole feeling molecules dissipating into other molecules thing.
What is CSM in this story, one of the X-Men?
It’s Windy Man ™ the new superhero from Marvel.
Watch him feel that air dissolve!) He leaned toward her face and
began to speak. (Because
leaning toward her kneecaps would seem so very odd.)
"All
I want is the chance to do man a service before I go, Dana," he said,
echoing the words he had spoken yesterday in his office to her. (Oh
the agony of this sentence construction! How
many prepositional phrases CAN we tack on?)
He
stood up straight again, and smiled.
"Yes
Agent Scully, everything that has ever happened to you has been a lie, do you
realize that?" (How can something that happens be a
lie? Truth is in interpretation,
not in objective, physical fact.)
He knew she wouldn't answer, the sedative he had given her while
she slept was strong enough to knock her out till (‘till
because it’s a short form of until, here.) morning. (And
if she was asleep, giving her a sedative makes so much sense.) "Your
placement with Agent Mulder, your abduction, your sterility. All . . . 'crimes
of oppurtunity.'" (Opportunity.
Spellcheck!!!)
He
shifted on his feet slightly, looking down at them with each of his movements.
Picking his head up at their cease of activities, he continued.
(My God, his feet are possessed!
Satan, get thee from the feet of CSM! Pthew. Pthew.)
"Didn't
it ever seem strange to you, Agent Scully, all the convinent (convenient.
Spellcheckers are convenient seeing they come bundled with your software
package.) barriers that popped up whenever your relationship with Mulder
was good and strong? Your relationship . . . that was the first rule you broke,
you know that (,) right? You weren't supposed to like him. You weren't supposed
to dedicate yourself to his cause. He was the opposite of what you wanted in a
man, for God's sake. You think I hadn't figured that out?
(And their relationship has always been such a
concern to the Consortium that Krycek was the one that had to point it out to
them in the first place. It never
entered their heads, people.)
"Like
I told you already, you are drawn to men of power, Mulder not being on of them.
(But he is ONE of them.) Sure, he was superior to you in experience, but not the
kind of power you like, Dana. You like teachers, professors . . . (Older, studly,
cigarette smokers…)
"We
abducted you to keep you from Mulder! He was supposed to give up hope, (.
H)he was supposed to forget about you!"
He
paused for a moment, as if to let the unconsious (unconscious)
figure take in what he was telling herself. (And what was
he telling herself? Her.) Take it in, digest it, understand it.
"Things
were going our way for three years (,) there. Your
relationship with Mulder was a threat because of what could of (have)
spawned from that -- a child. We couldn't risk that because a child of
yours would be from other plans of ours. (What does this
sentence mean? A child of yours
would be from other plans of ours.) It would serve OUR purposes, be on
OUR time. Your diagnosis of cancer . . . that was real. But you WEREN'T SUPPOSED
TO FIGHT! You were supposed to surrender to the illness, and once cured, our
masterplan for you (,) Dana (,)
would have then been set in motion. (would have then been)
"But
you fooled us again, didn't you? I never anticipated the trust and loyalty you
would gain for Mulder. (Where did she gain it from?
Do you mean gain Mulder’s trust and loyalty or Scully feels trust and
loyalty for Mulder? I do not understand.)
And I saw where your relationship with him was headed . . . I
didn't like that path. We had
He
let himself chuckle at this last statement. He could almost imagine the
realization crossing her face should she be fully consious and aware. (The
realization that none of this makes sense?
Conscious.)
"Don't
you see? The test results . . . it was all doctored. You don't know it, but
Mulder found what he believed to be your ova -- all of them. He was right, they
were yours, but not all. You can have children, Dana."
(And
I am the stereotypical movie villain spilling my guts to the hero for no
particular purpose but to infodump to the audience. Gack.)
He
shook his head silently. (As
opposed to most of the time when the rattling of his brains was horrifyingly
audible.)
"It
seemed to be working, too. You were so wrapped up in your own grief -- about
your lack of motherhood and your one lost chance -- that you didn't want to
pursue anything with Mulder. (Define “lack of
motherhood”.) We thought we were safe from anything remotely
non-platonic between you two. My colleagues, however, weren't so sure, and thus
enter Diana Fowley, Mulder's former flame." (oh this
is just SO BAD!)
He
chuckled.
"You
never did like her, (. Y) you were jealous. That's
exactly what we wanted, Dana. She earned Mulder's trust blindly (Earned
his trust blindly?) and this killed you, forcing yourself (you)
to wonder if you really trusted Mulder (,) yourself."
He laughed. "You always were a bit gullible, Dana. I'm glad everything has
worked out exactly how I've been planning it for so many years." (Wait.
Didn’t he just say that she’d fouled up his plans by falling for
Mulder?)
The
silver door behind him opened with a hiss, and four doctors dressed in light
blue hospital scrubs entered, each with a white mask across their mouth and a
light blue head scrub. (Light blue head scrub, the new
anti-dandruff remedy from Proctor and Gamble.)
They each took their places around the table. (Ok,
this is NOT correct. Each is a
singular and their is a plural. Each took his, or they took their, one or the other, don’t
mix ‘em.)
One
of the four doctors -- the one slightly taller than the others around him (As
opposed to all those other ones not present.) -- lifted the sheet of the
woman (Is that like Scent of a Woman?)
to reveal her stomach, and slow began a sterilizing agent on a section of
her side. (“Slow began a sterilizing agent on her
side.” I marvel at this
construction. It is a work of
wonder.)
"Do
you really think that's neccessary, doctor? (Necessary,
like spellcheck?) I can assure you I know everything of this woman's . .
. noctural occurrances." (What
“noctural occurrances” do you mean? The
one where she grows hair and howls at the moon?)
He
looked up at the only man not dressed in hospital scrubs.
(Huh? CSM
looked up at the only man (himself) not dressed in scrubs?)
"This
is just a precaution, sir. Besides, if you missed something, injecting her with
a second could jeopardize both." (Arrrrrgghhh!
I am lost!)
Smuggly,
he nodded, allowing the doctor to procede.
(Is that like snuggly?
Proceed.) After
inject her with the needle and reomving the neccessary fluids, he handed the
needle to a doctor seated at a table adourned with a microscope.
(Injecting, removing, necessary, adjourned, but how
are they related? Are you sure
about adjourned? Why is he leaving
with a microscope?)
The second doctor then released the fluid onto a slide, placed it
under the microscope, and peered into its two eye holes.
(The fluid has two eye holes?
It’s an X-File! Oh, my
god!)
After
several tense moments, the second doctor looked up, obviously unsure of what he
was looking at. (It’s fluid with two eye holes.)
Quietly, the first doctor who had
"What
is it?"
"It
seems, sir, that we have problems concerning this operation. I believe you
should see what we have found."
Dammit.
God dammit, how could this be? How could he have missed something so big like
this? Surely, there most be something explanation, some mistake.
(Damnit? What
something explanation, could it be, I wonder?)
"When?"
he asked calmly.
The
doctor shallowed anything that might show he was glad. (I’d shallow it, too.)
"One day, sir. You miscalculated by one day."
"ONE
DAY?" He loud bellowing voice echoed around the room as the four doctors
stood quietly around her. Turning to leave, he barked his orders. (Pronoun
trouble.)
"Take
her back to her room, put her in pajamas, bring her out from under. I want that
slide trashed. I'll deal with this on my own."
(Out from under what?)
As
he slammed the medical room's door, plans were already forming in his brain on
how he would pay those two scheming agents back.
(Because boinking on their own time is really all
about scheming.)
(Now, on to the notes)
______________________________________________________________________
*
I was hoping this would explain Scully's pregnancy. If
I confused you a bit -- here's my theory in a little
plainer words: Scully was never actually barren, it was
simply a doctored test by
good ole CSM. The events of En Ami were
not to give Scully the cure for cancer, but to implant
her with CSM's child.
(Hmm.
If you have to explain the story or your theory, the story hasn’t done
its job and is a failure that should never have been posted.)
If
you noticed at the beginning of En Emi, (That’s “Ami” like “friend” in
French.) Scully was in
an awful hurry to get out of her apartment (AKA she
was late for some reason) and being the scheming 'shipper I
am I naturally chose a dirty reason why.
(Running
off to boink Mulder?)
I'm
also trying to suggest that CSM orchestrated Mulder's
abduction in Requiem to 'pay him back' for getting Scully
pregnant. Some guy, eh?
(At
least it would be explainable that way.)
FEEDBACK:
[email protected]
written
June 2000
RATINGS
Evilness
Rating
4
There’s
actually some thought here, no matter how bad it is, it can’t be entirely
evil.
Who
Are These People?
5
Snidely
Whiplash and fair Penelope.
I
speche goodly
1
This
person still has no clue about using the English language, regardless of his or
her country of residence.
I
R a goode speler
1
Can’t
be bothered to use spellcheck.
Gak-o-tron
1
This
didn’t really make me gak.
It wasn’t shmoopy pap.
Laziness
quotient
5
Incredibly
lazy. No
spellcheck, no word ending check, no proofing at all that I can see.
Itchy posting finger.
Mary
Sue Quotient
0
None
detectable
Death
to Clones
3
I’ve
seen a few like this done better, but this had some thought behind it.
And
your point was….
4
Explained
in the notes at the end.
It should have been explained (and actually sort of was) in the body of
the text.
General
Evil Ranking
4
I
have to give one point for having attempted something original.
Not entirely evil, but very poorly executed.
Wildcard
You
don’t realize the grand scope of this author’s measure.
