Kara

Kara's Tale

Category:msr/x-file

Arcive (Archive)

Rating:part1:pg-13 2nd-nc-17

spoilers:none

timeline:6th season

author(')s notes: t(T)his is an adult story (written by someone who doesn't know that you are supposed to capitalize "I") and i(I) make no money doing this(.) f(F)ox m(M)ulder and d(D)ana s(S)cully belong to Chris c(C)arter and 1013(space)p(P)roductions(,) also f(F)ox(.) k(K)ara belongs to me.s(S)end feed back (feedback) to [email protected].

summary:m(M)ulder and s(S)cully go to m(M)astic b(B)each where strange things are happning(happening) .(delete period)with a miracle child. (I already feel a headache forming.)

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Dana Scully entered the basement office at the FBI building where still her name had not hung on the door nor had she her own desk. (Thanks for reminding us of those facts in so clumsy a manner.) opeaning (Opening) the door(,) she remembered why she had stayed with f(F)ox m(M)ulder. Looking in the door(,) she saw her partner sitting at his desk pouring (Take your pick: kerosene, beer, or catsup.) over a (an) x(-)file,(. H)his strong(,) lean arms could be seen which (with) this work shirt rolled up to his forarm (forearm). (Oh, I see. She stayed with Mulder all these years so she could periodically "look in the door" at his "strong lean arms." That's our professional Scully, all right!) As he heard the clicking of her heals (heels) as she entered the room and placed her coat on the coat rack.(,) Muler (Who's that?) sat up (Wasn't he already sitting?) and handed s(S)cully the folder and began to explain the x(-)file to her.

"Scully(,) you(')r(e) going to like this one,(. A)a little town of (called) m(M)astic b(B)each is claming (claiming) that a miracle child is going around and healing people."

Scully's eyes had perked up when she had heard mericals (I don't get it. She spelled "miracle" right the first time.) as she thought to her self(herself, 'T)this is impossible.(') (Eyes that can "perk up" are miracles in themselves.)

"Well, what kind of so(-)called miracle is this child performing.(?)" (Maybe healing people, like Mulder just TOLD you?)

"Well, let(')s see(. F)fixing broken legs(,) and i(I) like this one(:) making the blind see again."

"Mulder(,) you and I both know that is impossible(. Y)you can not (can't) correct what has gone wrong(.)" (Yeah, you can, sometimes. As just one example, people called doctors do it quite often by performing acts called surgeries.)

"How about this one(? T)this says she returned a child to his mother after he had fallen on the train tracks." (If doing that makes one a miracle worker, the bar isn't very high.)

"The kid could have just walked over to its mother."

"Unless this kid is supperman (no comment, and add a comma) a(an) 18(-)month(-)old could not have done a 100(-)feet (foot) trip in 60 seconds."

"(All right, your 'supperman' story convinced me.) So when do we leave.(?)"

"Tonight(space)at 5:00(. I)it's the only flight they have out to the island."

"Well(,) I'm going home to get packed so i(I)'ll see you at 5:00." (They're going to miss their flight, then. And exactly how long did Scully think it would take her to pack? Presumably, this opening scene occurs in the morning.)

"Ok(.) I'll pick you up."

t(T)hat night at s(S)cully's apartment as she packed and got ready for m(M)ulder to come over . (It's not even 5:00. Does that qualify as "night"?) She sat down and thought to her self(herself, 'W)what if this was (is) true(? W)what if there was (is) some blessed child going around and saving people.(? W)What if m(M)ulder was (is) right and she was (is) for real(? W)what kind of power could (can) on (one) child have over human nature.(?') As she read the x(-)file she found out more answers to her questions. (I would think she'd have read the file before she packed.) The child was performing these gifts of life to (on) children(,) men(,) and women alike and why where (were) these people less fortunate then her self (herself) . Maney (Many) had no health insurance(,) no way to cover the hosptial (hospital) bills(,) and no way to continue on treatment(. I)in one miracle(,) she had given a sick child a new start(. S)she had gone in to (into) a comar (coma) from a liver problem. a(A)fter a stranger came to visit(,) she became well and her liver began to produce and get rid of waste products.(new paragraph, and I really mean new)Soon there was a knock on the door and knowing it was m(M)ulder(,) she answered it. He came in and brought her bags to the car(.) durring (During) the drive(,) she could not take her mind off of m(M)ulder and the child(. S)she woundered (wondered) what she would be like when she met her. After bording (boarding) the plane(,) muler (Whoever that is, he’s made his second appearance.) slept and s(S)cully read and thought more about the child untill (until) somthing (something) warm shook her from her thoughts(. I)it was m(M)ulder's head on her lap(. S)some how he had rested him self (himself) over the arm rest.Although she didn't mind(,) it brought up feelings she didn(')t want to have at that moment. (Then she DID mind.)

Part:2

(I couldn’t find it in my heart to add punctuation to this paragraph. Sometimes, you just have to let the writing speak for itself.)

Looking at her lap m(M)ulder was sound asleep and she envied how he could sleep threw (through) all of the flight not wanting to wake him but they were about to land she touched him (Where, I wonder?) and felt sparks run threw (through) her body (Never mind. I think I know where.) when she got a stifled groan and her name murmured . "u(U)mm s(S)cully."

"Mulder(,) wake up(. W)we are about to land(, and we don't have much time left to join the Mile-High Club)."

s(S)cully touched him again and noticed the huge erection m(M)ulder was sporting. s(S)he thought to her self (herself, 'A)at least he is getting good night full of sleep(' during a one-hour flight. Mastic Beach isn't that far away from D.C.).(' S)she never under stood (understood) why she could not sleep during a flight(. M)maybe it was the fact that they were floating above the clouds and at any minute there could be a problem. s(S)o she sat and thought how and what she wanted to do to m(M)ulder. If she could just put her hand down and touch his(--)n('N)o(,) you can(')t do that(. W)what if he woke up and saw your hand where it should not be.(?' Right. She had already touched him THERE twice. Three times would really be pushing it.) So she suited with smoothing back his hair(. 'W)was that a groan I heard(?' W)was he as excited as she was.(?) Well, she better wake him up now (so he could actively participate) so she whispered(,) "m(M)ulder(,) wake up now(.) t(T)he plan (plane) is landing(, and we're about to miss our chance)."

Mulder sat up(,) stretched(,) and yawned and looked over to s(S)cully and noticed that she was very tense and asked her if she was OK.

"I'm fine(,) m(M)ulder. (Just a little pissed that we don't have enough time, after all.)"

(Brace yourself for a nasty shift to first person.) Oh(,) boy(,) am I in luck I said that when I did(. M)mulder was starting to look questionable. We took about a forty(-)minute drive to the Hampton h(H)otel(. I)it was an upscale hotel(,) better then some of the rat traps (rattraps) m(M)ulder had booked us in. science (Since) it was a hell of a weekend all the rooms were taken but one so like the day could get any better (What was so terrible about it so far?) it did so m(M)ulder accepted the key from the clerk(. L)little did she mention that this room was for lovers with a Jacuzzi in the middle of it and one large(,) heart(-)shaped water bed (waterbed). Like the good man he is(,) he offered to let me have the water bed (waterbed) and he would take the over sized (oversized) couch. (Past, present, and future tenses, all in one sentence! That takes talent.) After a good night('s) sleep we went to see one of the miracles. (But Mulder supposedly had a "good night full of sleep" on that flight. Then, it took less than an hour to drive to the hotel, where both he and Scully had another "good night sleep" before they left to interview their first witness. That's an awful lot of sleeping.)

"Karen the blind women"

Mulder and I got into our f(F)ord toarus (Taurus) and drove to m(M)iss Karen s(S)mith(')s house who claims a child named Kara saved her eye sight (eyesight). (A talking house claimed that a child saved its sight?) a(A) little while later we drove up to a small cottage in the woods (Did she save the cottage's sight, too?) i(I)t was wood and new with lots of roses to the walk way(walkway. I)it reminded me of what i(I) wanted my home and m(M)ulder(')s to look like if we ever got married and have children. (Dr.kara, do you mean when they retire from the X-Files to raise their family? Do you WATCH the show?)

A small women who looked like the older version of me and a man beside her much taller and masculine was what looked like an older mulder could this be. (How coincidental. Is there a reason for the similar appearances?) the small women began to tell her tale after inviting us in to her home some how she was expecting us not knowing that mulder had called this women earlier as she began. (You’ll note that I made no corrections to this paragraph. That's because nothing short of complete rewriting could salvage it.)

"I was in the hosptial (hospital) and i(I) was scared(. T)they said that i(I) would lose my eyes (in a game of marbles. I)i was so frighted (frightened) that i(I) would cry whenever a nurse would come in and take my tempature (temperature)." (Because having one's temperature taken is so similar to losing one's eyesight.)

"If i(I) may ask you(,) m(M)iss s(S)mith(,) how did you meet this miracle child(?)" (Who said this?)

"o(O)h(,) she was no ordinary child(add period, and no one said she WAS ordinary. She was just referred to as being a "miracle child.") s(S)he was an angle with out wings." (Which kind of angle usually has wings? Acute, right, obtuse?)

"Thank you(,) Miss Smith."

After a long chat with m(M)iss s(S)mith(,) the story had evolved in to (into) what I think is so unbelievable (That someone could get away with posting such a mess?) s(S)he then goes on to tell me what the child had said(. I)in order to get her wings she had to perform at least five miracles on people who had a future and were needed to find cures and help with amazing things. (But if they didn’t have a future, they were out of luck?) Just when i(I) was about to get in the car(,) a teenage girl had appeared in gothic clothing (Let me guess: She looked exactly like the author.) n(N)othing could be seen behind her dark(-)colored make up. (I wouldn't want anyone to see my face, either, if I appeared in this travesty.) s(S)he speaks to us. (This paragraph must have been "pick your own tense," because the author evidently couldn't make up her mind.)

"i(I) heard you were looking for me."

"w(W)ho are you(?) " m(M)ulder asks the girl (Who did he think? Who else were they looking for besides the "angle"?) and she raises her hand and says(,) "Kara(. N)nice to meet you(,) m(M)ulder and s(S)cully."

"h(H)ow do you know are (our) names?"

"o(O)h(,) i(I) know a lot about you two(:) what your dreams are(,) what your fears are(,) and what your desires are." (She sounds more like a stalker than a miracle worker.)

"h(H)ow are you doing it(? H)how can you fix what is not replaceable?"

"e(E)nough talk (a whole eight sentences. L)let(')s go back to your motel(.)"(Technically, it’s a hotel, but who’s taking notes?)

t(T)here was a bright flash of light (I expected a dark flash.) and the room appeared. s(S)he guided us to the bed and told us to sit.

"y(Y)ou see(, I)i have to perform 5 (five) miracles but i(I) want more then that(. I)i want my wings(,) so i(I) have to give you something(. I)i have to give you what i(I) had not(.) " (Fashion sense, makeup tips, the ability to compose sentences that aren't run-on?)

"a(A)nd what's that.(?)" m(M)ulder asked her with a question on his face. (It probably asked, "Where's my brain? I lost it about three pages ago.)

"l(L)ove(. Y)you have to realize what is in front of you so please see what is there(.)" (Scully’s tits?) t(T)hen in another flash she was gone. (So, performing five miracles wouldn't net the angel any wings, but getting M&S together would? This troubles me.)

"Scully(,) what was she talking about?" ("Mulder, look at my chest. They're right there.")

"m(M)ulder(,) don't you understand(?) w(W)e are the miracle(:) the miracle of true love(. O)oh(,) m(M)ulder(,) I love you." (Hack, hack.... gag.... spew....)

"Scully(,) I thought you would never say that(.) I too love you(,) s(S)cully(.)" (Baaaaaaaaaaaaarf.....)

Moving towards each other they embraced in a passionate kiss. The kiss got hot and wet and left me breathless (Me who? God, I hope the author didn't really mean to insert herself into this sex scene.) then he slid he (his) tong (tongue) across my lips asking of entrance she accepted him into her mouth and as his toung (tongue) slid across hers she tasted and touched the very thing she wanted was his mulderescence he smelt of musk and sunflower seeds she could also taste the salty afterglow. coming up for breath every now and then . (What a disgusting image.)

"w(W)hy don't we that (take) this party over to the bed?"

(The following paragraph is so ineptly written, I am not going to correct grammar, punctuation, or spelling. I do take a few cheap shots, of course. It's just crying out for them.)

Mulder carried he all the way (Since they were already sitting on the bed, that wasn’t much of a feat.) and set her down and started taking her clothing off she helped him undress by trying to lift his shirt from his pants unbuckling his pants and sliding the zipper down and placed her hand on the thing she wanted in her since they had meet (His "mulderescence"?) Tentatively, her small soft hands slipped inside the worn denim, stroking him. The low rumble in his throat energized her as her strokes became faster and more frequent. mulder had started his own adventure down her breast to her navel when he sucked one rosy pink nipple (Scully has a nipple in her navel?) in to his mouth she moaned with delight she had never felt this way about none. As his kisses grew more ferrous ("of, relating to, or containing iron"), she felt herself slowly sink into the mattress as Mulder positioned himself on her. His weight was significant, but not enough to arouse panic or fear. Those emotions were the most remote of what she felt, though the intensity of her anticipation grew by the second. The heat radiating off his body was intoxicating. (I knew at least one participant in this train wreck had to be drunk.) their eyes locked, giving each other a look of unhidden passion. she kissed her way down his chest and slid her arms and hands over every part of his shoulders arms legs and that fine ass of his. he mounded and groans every time she passed his sensitive parts. he slid his arm over her body remembering the curves of her body Scully moaned, her hips lifted off the mattress in an involuntary thrust. Sensing his urgency as well as her own, she bent her legs at the knees, moving them to cradle Mulder's hips. His eyes locked with hers as he entered her the sensation brought waves of pleasure to each of them crying out in the heat of passion. he thrused a couple more times bring her to orgasm. (That was a real quickie. Scully should ask for her money back.)

"t(T)ogether(,)" he moaned and they both came together for the first time. (That must have been the miracle.) They laid (lay) in bed in each other(')s arms and let sleep overtake them.

a(A) bright light moves past and we see s(S)cully and m(M)ulder at a beach house holding hands and kissing (in present tense).

"d(D)o you ever think Kara got her wings?"

"h(H)ow could she not(? L)look at use(us. S)she said it her self (herself:) true love(,) s(S)cully."

a(A)nd Kara did get her wings (in past tense) as she looked upon them from the bright(,) cloudy sky's (skies) of heaven (like the kinky voyeur she was,) thanking them for what they had given her (a good peepshow) and they answered back with a thank you as well (because they liked to be watched).

******the end******

so tell me what you think email me at [email protected]

RATINGS

(0=good, 5=bad in all categories)

Evilness Rating:

"Kara's Tale" is among the worst offerings of the year. Quite an achievement.

Who ARE These People?

We at least recognize the names Mulder and Scully, but who are mulder, muler, and scully?

I Speech Goodly:

Random punctuation. Hit-and-miss capitalization. Poor diction. Multiple meaningless tense switches. Bizarre swings from third to first person. The author is apparently not a native English speaker.

I R A Gud Speler:

Pathetic spelling (supperman, toarus) combined with nonexistent proofreading=a deadly pairing.

GAK-o-Tron:

There was an attempt, however lame, to include an actual X-File, so this story wasn't a complete gakfest. It came close, though.

Laziness Quotient:

No beta. No proofreading. No spellcheck. No grammarcheck. No mercy.

Mary Sue Quotient:

about a 10

One of the worst Mary Sues I've ever come across.
To sum it up:

· Title: Kara's Tale

· Author: dr.kara

· E-mail: [email protected]

· Original characters: Karen and Kara

Plus, there were some highly interesting shifts from third to first person, including one that came in the middle of Mulder and Scully's kiss.

Death to Clones:

Did this piece of dreck remind anyone else of "It's A Wonderful Life"? I expected to read about a bell ringing when Kara got her wings.

And Your Point Was…

Mulder and Scully's "true love" is a miracle worthy of angel wings. Cue hysterical laughter.

General Evil Ranking:

Absolutely dripping with evil.

Wild Card

Capitalization of proper names is not optional.

Visit the Grammar Lady Online for some tips. Please. URL: http://www.grammarlady.com

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