He'll Be Back

by Megan

Rating: G

Classification: post-ep, vigentte, MRS, very very light Scully angst, but it's actually kind of cheerful. (You see how I was just sucked into reading this.)

Spoilers: Well, if you haven't seen "Requiem" and you want it to be a surprise for you, don't read this! That's the only real reference made, though I suppose it's all fair game. If you haven't seen any of the eps, what are you doing reading fanfic?? (Deep. Very deep. Spoiled by the multiple punctuation use, though.)

Summary: Scully muses about things after the events of Requiem.

Feedback: It rocks my world. Be constructive, folks. (That is our guiding principle here, dearie.) Flame me, and I'll sic my POGAD posse on you, and believe me, the flames will be hotter than anything you could dish out. (Oh, we’ll see about that.)

Archive: Spooky's yes, Xemplary yes, I'll submit to Gossamer myself, it's easier that way. Anyone else, I'd be delighted, but please let me know, just so I can visit it and gloat ;)(‘Kay!)

Disclaimer: Ok, if I owned them, would I be writing fanfic about them? I don't think so. Only in my wildest, and tamest, dreams to (Beta alert!) I own these characters. Technically, (I think you mean, "Actually," or "Literally.") they belong to the Surfer God (I think he's technically a demi-god at best.) and his "gnarly" (Ooh. Rad. Ancient slang.) production company, and to DD and GA who've made the characters what they are, but I feel that, ultimately, they belong to the people (Whoo-woo! Socialism lives! See below!), cuz (Let's just make up our own teen magazine spelling, 'cause your readers have the mentality of newts. 'Kay?) without us, dear old Dave wouldn't be able to complain (Well, suing a bloated wealthy company because they ripped him off and ignored their own contract is a rather higher level.... what YOU do is complain; what Duchovny, Alda, Shatner, Nimoy, et. al, do is litigate.) about how he wants even more money. (Grits Witch didn't realize that we have socialized television. Do the phrases "free enterprise", "capitalism", and "open market" ring any bells?) I wonder if he realizes that just one of his paychecks (And he should care about you because...)would pay for all four years of my college (Taking any business courses?), plus I could buy a car, live off campus, (But see, if you live on campus, you don't need to pollute the environment.) pay for my sis to go to school (Let her get her own job and/or student loans.), and pay back what my father (See conclusion.) owes for college and still have money left over. But I'm not bitter. (Oh, here's a thought. GET A JOB. Pay your own way; take out your OWN student loans, you lit----sorry. I inadvertently sent the flying monkeys after you. They're back now.)

Author's notes: I wrote this while I was at work. (Oh, sorry. How about, get a job that requires you to work? Then maybe you could buy that car.) I had nothing else to do, so I thought I'd jump on the bandwagon (Not good enough reason. How about jumping back off?) and write a Requiem post ep. Thanks to all the people at POGAD cuz (See above.) I just love them all!! (And is it "Jane" or "Teen People" that advocates multiple exclamation points? And do you REALLY love them ALL?) And Krissy, if you ever read this, I love you to pieces, nothing will ever change that!

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He'll Be Back

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 Pregnant.

I'm pregnant.

You're kidding, right? I mean, this has to be some sort of cruel joke God's playing on me. I'm barren.

That means "unable to conceive." (Uh.) Aparently, (Spell check.) someone didn't get that memo.

My sex life only started up again recently. Very recently. Try a month and a half ago. And now I'm pregnant. And alone. Me; Dana Katherine Scully, the good little Catholic girl, knocked up and all alone. (This is supposed to be Scully’s musings. Excellent; but she’s musing a lot of extraneous information that the reader already knows. Exposition is well and good, but WE know she’s pregnant, and SHE knows she’s pregnant.) It's a miracle. Don't misunderstand; I don't want God or someone (Well, it’s not Scully talking to us. She is, as you’ve just said, a good Catholic. There is no "someone".) to think that I don't appreciate this gift I've been given, because I do. I've always wanted to have children, and now I'm going to. I just never thought I'd have to do it alone.

No. Stop it, Dana. You won't have to do it alone. You have your mother. You have your brothers-sort of. You have the Gunmen; hell, you even have Skinner. And they'll all help you find him, no matter how long it takes.

I sigh and lean back in the hospital bed. Good God. How am I going to tell my mother about this? I hope she's not terribly disappointed in me. Though by this point, she'd probably just be happy that I'm in a relationship. (No, at this point she’s probably happy Scully isn’t on the roof of a building with a rifle.) Thirty six years old and never been married. Certainly not what my mother envisioned for her baby girl. Not what I envisioned, either. Well, maybe Mom will be happy that I'm having a baby. After the whole debacle with my infertility, (I don’t recall Scully’s infertility being a debacle on the series. Doesn’t she mean the whole Emily tragedy?) maybe my being pregnant will make her forget that I'm not married. (Maybe. It’s 2000, not 1953.)

Even that's technical, though. Mulder and I never went through a ceremony, but we've been committed and devoted to each other for years now. I've most certainly been faithful, (Oops. Can I point out "Never Again?") just as he has been. ("3"? "The Field Where I Died?") Love, honor, and cherish? Yeah, we got that, too. (Scully’s suddenly become grammatically impaired—rather unlike the long wordy journal entries we’ve groan—I mean, grown---to expect from her. Or maybe she’s channeling Sonny and Cher.) We definitely have the "in sickness and in health" thing covered. Basically, all we're missing is the marriage liscense. (Spell check!) Maybe we could even take care of that once he gets home. Mom adores Mulder, anyway. (I have to strongly differ with you here. There’s no evidence of adoration.) She'll be happy that I'm having his child. (Let’s take some bets.)

To the best of my knowledge, it's Mulder's child. I haven't been abducted recently, (How would she know?) so I'm pretty sure it's not an alien fetus or something horrible. My little road trip with the Cancer Man was too long ago for me too only be a month and a half pregnant. (Too many leaps of logic---we never know what month it is in the X-Files universe.) So, it's Mulder's. The doctors say it's healthy, and they haven't reported any strange blood work, so that's a good sign. Right now, they're waiting for the results of another test; to verify that the child is, in fact, Mulder's. (I don’t even want to know who’s keeping samples of Mulder’s tissues for the DNA test.)

It's Mulder's baby. I know it is. I feel it. He gave me this wonderful gift. He's given me a lot of wonderful gifts: His love and devotion, even when he knew I couldn't give him a family, (Punctuation, for the love of Buddha, punctuation!) his respect and admiration, his trust and his heart, along with a million other little things that mean the world to me.

And now this. (Captain! Captain! The gak-o-tron is lighting up like a Christmas tree!) A baby to call our own. A tiny little person to love and cherish, that we can raise together, and we can all be a family. Wow...this is a lot to take in. (The gak-o-tron has blown up.) I can't help, nor do I fight, (Try! Try!) the grin that spreads across my face. I'm actually going to have a baby. I get to be pregnant and experience all the hassles that go along with it. (You know, most women with fertility problems don’t regard this as a hassle. They aren’t saints, but they think that physical discomfort is a reasonable trade-off for the long-awaited baby.) I'm going to have morning sickness, mood swings, swollen ankles, sore feet, and a gigantic, bloated belly full (This is so sweet.) of my child. Our child.

I feel almost giddy. (I feel nauseated.) Mulder's missing, and when I think too much about that, it depresses me beyond belief. But I have to have faith that I'll find him, no matter how long it takes. I hope I'll find him before I give birth; I want him to experience at least part of this with me. If he couldn't be here with me when I found out about it, the least he can do is be there with me when I go into labor. (Hold on here, Missy. I don’t think he has any control over his destiny at this point.)

We're going to have a baby. I'm going to be a mommy. Mulder's going to be a daddy. He's going to be a great father. I can tell. (Because of his family history.) He has such an endless capacity to love. He's going to come home to me and he's going to help me when I can't sit up or move, and he's going to spoil our baby rotten. (Well, I wasn’t aware that pregnancy rendered the mother quadriplegic---and isn’t it vaguely possible that Mulder could either be a distant, workaholic father?) I wonder if he has any gender preferences. (Suddenly, Scully is politically correct.) I know he'd tell me that it doesn't matter, and as long as the baby's healthy, that's what's important. But, I think that, deep down, he wants a little girl. (I bet he doesn’t.) A little girl who'll adore him and wrap him around her finger, who'll call him "Daddy" from the time she can speak until she dies. (Are you saying she’s going to have a short life span? A little jarring.) Personally, I want a boy and a girl, but I think that's probably asking for too much, so I'll honestly be happy with what I get. Maybe Mulder and I can keep trying, and have more kids. Couldn't hurt to try. (It’s a dirty job, but someone has to provide the greater D.C. area with mall rats.)

I know one thing for certain. This child will not have the name William, in any shape or form, or Fox, or Melissa, Samantha, Dana, Katherine, Maraget (Spell---oh, to hell with It.), or Charles. (What has she got against the Prince of Wales?) I want this baby to have it's own identity, not someone else's legacy to deal with. This baby is made up of me and Mulder, two completely unique people, and therefore will have a unique name. Nothing too unique (Stop saying unique. I think the author means, "unusual" or "individual."), because I know Mulder wouldn't want another "Fox" on our hands. (I have the horrid feeling that she’s going to come up with a "new" name like "Fana". "Fana Maraget Scully-Mulder.")

I have so many plans for this baby. I need to stay calm. That's why I can't think too deeply about Mulder being MIA; if I do, I'll stress myself out, and that really wouldn't be good for the baby. I just need to focus on the good stuff, and, hopefully, everything will fall into place. I know I'm living in a fantasy world by thinking this way, but I need to to (Grammar alert!) stay sane.

I look out the window and stare into the distance, out to the horizon. Please, God, (Or "Someone." Nothing like being consistent.) I pray, please bring Mulder back to me, safe and sound. I need him. I can't do this alone. Please.

With that, I let my eyes drift (Do they move around on her face? Because I think you’ve got more to worry about than this baby.) shut and hope to get a little bit of sleep before Mom comes to pick me up. We have a lot to talk about, and I'm going to need my strength.

*finito*

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http://www.angelfire.com/nm/meggiesuniverse/welcome.html

Yahoo!Messenger: womanofscience

ICQ: 52170442 (starbuck)

AOLIM: GillianADuchovny (I think this moniker tells me all too much about the author.)

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"...If you never do anything else with your life, learn to love yourself." F. Bennett (No problems.)

Ratings

Evilness rating   

5

This is evil. As, I believe, Bart Simpson said, "I didn’t think it was physically possible, but this both sucks and blows." (I read it in Entertainment Weekly.)

Who ARE these people?   

5

This is not a thirty-six year old forensic pathologist. This is not a woman who has had her lover mysteriously disappear; and it’s not a woman who has had Buddha knows what experiments performed upon her who is suddenly pregnant. Above all, this isn’t Scully. Bad author! Bad! Get a Beta before you write again!

I speech goodly   

4

Not only would it be helpful for this author to actually go to her expensive English classes, but to crack open Strunk and White. Of course, English may not be a required course at that college, in which case, LOOK IT UP.

In the series, and unlike in this story, Scully writes (and muses) in a highly stylized form. The author should either watch "Redux" and "Christmas Carol" or, really, any episode that has Scully writing in her journal or writing her reports. She doesn’t use slang in her journal; her journal writing is almost baroque. In fact, Scully seems overly influenced by Jane Austen. (I say that, even though the only book she’s been seen reading is "Breakfast at Tiffany’s", and her bookcases are filled with those beyond awful "Reader’s Digest Condensed Version" books.  I think the "Reader’s Digest people are going to hell, anyway.) Her reports are in good old civil service language. In short, she writes and thinks in decent declarative sentences. If it was meant to be stream-of-consciousness, it didn’t work.

I R a gud speler   

5

Not. Spell check, Dammit!

GAK-o-tron   

6

This blew completely off the meter. It is grindingly awful. Can we say goo, ick, schmoop, and bleahhhh?

Laziness Quotient   

7

The author is recycling some very hoary (and whorey) fanfic cliches. In the midst of my witchly rage, I can’t remember if "Charlie" is, indeed, the name of the second Scully son; so I’ll give the author that one. But, heckfire, we have: Our Little Sailor Scully swearing to herself---unlike the series Scully; Ma Scully "adoring" Mulder---no evidence whatsoever from the series about that; Scully being meltingly and gooily pleased about this unexpected and suspicious pregnancy, when she should be in shock; Scully disliking her brothers; that Mulder will be a good father and delighted to have a baby. If the author doesn’t read decent fanfic, she should at least watch the show.

Mary Sue Quotient   

5

Someone who calls herself "Starbuck" on ICQ and "GillianADuchovny" on AOL aroused my suspicions. D’you think? A little Mary Sue? And the musings on the physical discomforts certainly fit.

Wild Card

The disclaimer is meant to cover your collegiate bottom, should the lawyers from Fox and 1013 wade through the bandwidths and start suing for damages. It is not meant to be an attack on the actors. One is left with the conclusion that the author wants Duchovny to pay for her college fees, or at least, her car. Grits Witch is sympathetic about the high costs of education, since she is currently paying off her own student loans. But Grits Witch bought her own car, and worked her way through college and graduate school. Grits Witch fails to understand why David Duchovny, who went to high school and college on scholarship, should pay for the education of the author, the author’s sister, and the author’s car and off-campus housing.