Standard disclaimer applies. Paramount owns it, I have fun with it. Don't steal it from either of us.
~~~
JADZIA
When we arrived on DS9, Molly, as well as her parents, were immediately beamed to the infirmary. They talked with Dr. Bashir on how to handle their eight-year-old girl- turned eighteen-year-old savage. I felt so bad for them I don't know how they'll manage to deal with this.
Kira had been watching her surrogate son, the O'Briens 14-month-old infant Kirayoshi. She loved caring for him, to her, she would always be his second mother. However, she had several meetings on Bajor dealing with regrouping their military forces. The O'Briens needed to be able to spend 100% of their time helping Molly adjust.
"I don't know what I'm going to do with him," Keiko said. The two of us were walking along the promenade, and she had him on her hip. He was squirming a lot, as most children his age did, "It's as if I have two infants now, and I need to focus on just the one," she kissed his head, "I hate to neglect him like this..."
I'm not sure what overcame me maybe it was seeing her holding and nurturing her child. Maybe some old memories of my children resurfaced, "I'll take care of him."
Keiko frowned, "Are you sure? He's a handful."
"I know a lot about babies, believe me."
"What about Worf?"
It was my turn to frown, "What about him?"
"Well, it just, I never got the impression that he's very good with children especially babies. And I don't want Yoshi to make him uncomfortable."
I paused. Is that how people saw my husband? Wait a minute, isn't that how *I* see my husband?
"Worf will be fine," I said quickly.
"Well... okay. I really do appreciate it. I don't know how long it will be--"
"Don't worry about it, take as long as you need."
"Come on, I need to get some of his things for you," We rounded a corner and headed for her quarters, "Are you *sure* this will be okay with Worf?"
Honestly, I wasn't, "Of course, Keiko."
~~~
Yoshi cried when his mother left him alone with me. That was to be expected, though. I was, after all, a stranger to him. But, as soon as he saw his toys, he quieted down.
While he played, I looked around our home. It was *extremely* dangerous for a 14 month old. There were blades, knives, my sharp edged statues, and that dreaded poisonous glove- like weapon Worf owned. I *hated* that thing, but it had been given to Worf by a good friend who died many years ago, so I never objected. He spoke of her so fondly, I knew he'd be offended if I asked him to get rid of it. Well, at least while Yoshi was here, some of this stuff would have to be moved.
"Computer, time," I asked as I placed the last of our dangerous items in a large crate.
"*The time is 2004 hours*"
I nodded, "Worf will be home any minute," I said aloud to Yoshi.
I went back to the couch and plopped down. Yoshi was toddling around, occasionally falling to his knees and crawling. I watched him for a long time, a subtle smile forming on my lips. He was so innocent, so sweet and vulnerable. I closed my eyes, imagining myself, holding a newborn in my arms, as I had so many times before. I could see this child's faint Trill spots, her subtle forehead rodges, and her helpless brown fingers curling around mine, as she looked up to me for total protection.
Slowly I opened my eyes, and I could feel a dreadful pit in my stomach. What if that image wasn't what Worf wanted? We had never really talked about children of our own before something we should have done. I didn't know how he felt about it at all.
Just then, Yoshi threw a pillow at me, and I laughed, "Whoa! That was a good throw."
He ran to me, smiling wildly, trying to recover his hurled object, no doubt.
At that moment, the door slid open and Worf came in, adjusting his sash.
"Hi!" I said merrily, "We have a little visitor."
Worf came and sat next to me. The look on his face surprised me a bit, it was actually... happy? "And what, *exactly* is this infant doing in my home?" he asked jovially.
"Well, I offered to watch him so that the O'Briens could spend some time with Molly," I answered as I shifted Yoshi on my lap. I was smiling at Worf, and he was actually smiling back. Okay, at least he wasn't upset that I volunteered our services.
"I thought you said you were going to be working tonight?"
I'd totally forgotten about that. I was so concerned about Worf and Yoshi that I forgot, "I was going to run a spectral scan of the comet that's passing through the Denorias Belt," I turned my attention to Yoshi, "But if I did that, who would watch you?"
The look in Worf's perked- up eyes was priceless, "Me."
That was a *lot* more than I expected, "That's all right, I want to stay with him."
"Jadzia, you have been waiting for this comet to come into sensor range for weeks."
I sighed, I really *did* want to stay with him, "There'll be other comets."
"Go," Worf insisted, "I will take care of Yoshi."
Okay, his show of concern was very touching, but there were some basic truths we needed to face, "Worf, that's very sweet, but, let's face it, you're not good with babies."
He looked very offended, "I raised Alexander," he stated.
"That's different. He was 4 years old when he moved in with you, you didn't have to change diapers. *Babies* are a handful. I should know, I've had nine of 'em."
Worf shook his head obviously nothing I said to him mattered, "I know. 5 as a mother, 4 as father. I can handle a 14 month old child."
"I didn't say you *can't*--"
"Fine. Go run your sensor scans."
Worf reached out to hold Yoshi, and he began crying immediately."
"You're holding him wrong, "I stated.
"Leave us," Worf commanded.
"All right, all right, I'm leaving," I said, with a haughty air in my voice. I left the two of them alone, I was barely able to contain the smile on my face. So what if Yoshi was crying his eyes out Worf was trying. For once, he was doing something *I* wanted, even if he didn't know it.
WORF
I stood very still. In my arms was a surprisingly silent child. Hie eyes were closed and his chest slowly heaved with his breathing. Gently, I placed him in his bed. I held my breath, he was still quiet.
"Okay," I whispered. I left the room where he was sleeping, and headed for my spot in bed next to Jadzia.
Before I could get to it, a piercing shrill crying came from the next room. He was awake. I wearily sat on the edge of the bed.
"Is he all right," Jadzia lifted her head to ask. She had been asleep for over an hour already.
"He is *fine*. He just will not go to sleep."
"Did you change him?" she asked.
"I changed him."
"Did you feed him."
"I fed him."
"Did you read him a story?"
"I read him a story."
"Did you sing to him?"
I stood again, "Until my throat was raw."
"Sounds like you tried everything," Dax sat up, "I'll take over from here."
I motioned for her to lay down again, "That is not necessary."
"Worf, you're *exhausted*, get some sleep."
"No... I am a Klingon Warrior, and a Starfleet Officer. I have piloted starships through dominion minefields. I have stood in battle against Kelvins twice my size. I courted, and won, the heart of the magnificent Jadzia Dax," Yoshi was still crying. I pointed a determined finger towards him, "If I can do these things, I can make this child go to sleep."
Jadzia gave me a puzzled look, "Talk about losing perspective. Listen to yourself. Why is this babysitting thing so important to you all of a sudden?"
As if she did not know. I knew what was going on in her beautiful little head, "It is not important to me," I said as I took a seat on the bed next to her, "It is important to *you.*"
"What are you talking about?"
"You are judging me on my fitness to be a parent," Dax rolled her eyes at me, "Don't deny it, Jadzia-I can see it in your eyes. I have proven myself to be a worthy husband to you, but, you are not convinced I would be a good parent to your children." With that said, I went back to the door.
"Who said anything about having children."
"Go to sleep. I have work to do."
I left her and went to Yoshi again. Yet despite all my efforts, all the rocking and cooing, he refused to settle down. About ten minutes later, I heard footsteps coming close to me.
"Come on, Worf," Jadzia said calmly.
"I though I told-"
"How can I with him crying? Come on, we're *all* going to bed."
I gave her a confused frown. She took Yoshi from my arms and headed for our bedroom. I followed her. Jadzia placed him in the center of the bed, and laid down next to him.
"He is still crying," I pointed out.
"I know that. Come lie down. Babies need affection and security. He misses his parents, and he needs to feel safe in a strange place."
I was hesitant, "Are you certain..."
"He won't bite you," Jadzia was gently stroking his back, and he began to calm down.
"What if I roll over on him."
She smiled, "Trust me, you won't."
Slowly, I took my place in bed. Yoshi was between us and a few moments after I laid down, he was quiet.
"You were right," I whispered.
"Experience, darling, that's all."
I watched him them for a while. It was an emotional sight for me. Jadzia looked so happy, she wore a subtle smile as her hand delicately stroked his hair and back. Soon she laid her head down and drifted back to sleep. I continued to watch her until I was asleep as well.
JADZIA
The next day, Worf and I took turns with Yoshi. He went to ops that morning, and I stayed with the baby. I spent the afternoon in ops, and Worf was with him. I was so proud of my husband, I thought I'd burst. He was doing so well, and he seemed so eager about it all.
That evening, I came straight home. The door slid open, and Worf was there, pacing.
"Oh, what I day, I can't *wait* to get out of my uniform," I said. Just then, I noticed the unusual quiet, and the somber look in Worf's face, "Where's Kirayoshi, I thought you were going to watch him this afternoon... Worf, what's wrong?"
Julian emerged from the other room, "Kirayoshi took a little fall," he said.
"Is he all right?" I asked.
"Oh yes, just a small bump on the forehead. It happens all the time to children his age. With a little sleep, he'll be as right as rain."
"Thanks," I said.
"Well, I've got to get back to the infirmary."
After Julian had gone, Worf and I took a seat on the couch. He looked so pained, his shoulders were extremely tense and his eyes were heavy, "You wanna tell me what happened?" I asked softly.
Worf spoke, and I tried to rub some of his tension away as he did, "We were playing. I was pretending to be grent hound, and chased him. He was laughing so hard he did not look to see where he was going and, fell against the edge of the table."
"It was an accident, it could have happened to anyone."
"I was too rough with him, I was careless," he paused, then, "You were right to question my fitness as a father."
"Worf I never questioned your fitness as a father, don't put words into my mouth-"
"I failed Alexander, I failed Kirayoshi, and I would have failed our children as well."
He stood and went to the door. This was *so* typically Worf. "Where are you going?"
"I should not be here when he wakes up."
"Worf-"
"Jadzia, I am sorry I failed to prove myself to you."
With that, he left. This wasn't surprising, not in the least bit. A year ago, I would have chased after him and tried to convince him that everything was okay. Then we would have gotten into a fight about it, and we would have been angry with each other for days. But, I had gotten to know Worf *very* well. When he got an idea into his head, it was best to let him pout about it until he came to his senses. So, I didn't trouble myself over it anymore. I went over to the shelf, got a book, and began where I left off.
WORF
"Computer, end program."
The bat'tleh disappeared from my hands, as did the slain enemy foe on the ground. I stood in the silent holosuite, my shoulders sagged helplessly. Perhaps there were some things that I just could not do. Perhaps parenting was one of them.
Yes, I realized that the fall had not been that bad, but that was not the point. I wanted Dax to be proud of me, I wanted her to know I could be the husband she wanted me to be, in every way possible. I knew she didn't approve of the way I handled Alexander in the past, and I knew that this was my chance to prove to her that I could be a caring father.
I left the holosuite and headed home. Wait, perhaps I had proven that to her? I may not be perfect in my actions towards Alexander and Kirayoshi, but I did *care.* I wanted to do what was best, even though I was not always sure what that was. And if my intentions were good, I could easily learn what to do and how.
I hesitated as I entered our home. Yoshi would probably be resistant to me, at least for awhile.
"Hi," Jadzia was sitting on the couch. She closed her book, "You can come in. He's gone. I dropped him off at the O'Briens a few minutes ago. Oh, you should have seen his face when he saw his sister again."
"Did you apologize to them for me?"
"Yes. And they said not to worry about it. It isn't the first time he's bumped his head. They invited us to dinner tonight. To thank us for watching him."
"What did you tell them?" I asked.
Jadzia went to put her book back, "Well, I told them that we had a holosuite reservation, and that I would check with you. By the way, what does, *gung, gung, gung* mean?"
My face perked, "Why do you ask?"
"Well, it was the strangest thing. I was taking Yoshi home and he kept shaking rattle saying, 'Gung, gung, gung.'"
"He did?"
"He seemed to get a big kick out of it. So, what does it mean?"
I had taught it to him earlier today. It was a Klingon exercise for young children, "That is between Yoshi and me," I said proudly.
"Oh, I see," Jadzia approached me and wrapped her arms around my neck, "Well, you made a big impression on him. Maybe you're not as bad with children as you thought."
"Or as *you* thought."
I could see her face yielding, "All right, maybe I had my doubts. But I've *never* have been happier to be proven wrong. Oh, we'd better get going if we want to make that holosuite reservation."
"Holosuite?" I asked, "And insult the O'Briens?"
Jadzia smiled at me, "We wouldn't want to do that."
"He really said 'Gung, gung, gung'?"
"Over and over again."
That made me feel proud. Jadzia could sense that, and she hugged me tightly, which made me feel even better.
~~~
JADZIA
I felt really good as Worf and I walked home from dinner at the O'Brien's. We held hands; he would occasionally bring mine up to his lips and kiss it. That made me smile. I had not felt this genuinely peaceful in a long time. The war kept both of us very stressed, but right now none of that mattered. This was one of the few moments I got to actually enjoy my husband.
"Um, Worf?" I asked as we turned the last corner heading home.
"Yes?"
"Can we talk?"
"Of course."
When we entered, the computer promptly notified us that Worf had a letter from Alexander waiting.
"You can read it first, we can talk later--"
"No, I wish to speak with you as well," he said, sitting on the couch next to me, "Now, while I still have the courage."
I sat back, and crossed my legs, "Courage? Why do I have the distinct feeling that you and I are thinking the same thing?"
His face reddened, "We probably are."
There was a silence between us.
"I do not know how to say this..." he began.
"I want a baby," I blurted out.
Worf smiled, "As do I."
I smiled too, "Good. I'm glad we're in agreement."
His smile faded, "But, we cannot now. Not with--"
"The war," I said flatly. I stood up, feeling rage overtake my good mood, "Everything we want to do is always impeded by this goddamn war. This war kept us apart for months, this war has your son out there fighting and risking his life daily. This war almost got me killed a few months ago," I stopped pacing, and my voice trembled, "Because of this war, every day I walk around with the fear that I might lose my husband. And I don't think I can live with that."
Worf narrowed his eyes, "When faced with your death, I turned my back on duty, and on this *war.* I could not choose it over you."
"Yet we have to put our lives on hold because of it. At any moment, Worf, we could be apart again, with you on the Rotarran and me on the Defiant. Or worse... one of us could end up without the other," I folded my arms suddenly my body felt cold, "We look at that list every Friday, we see how many people lose their loved ones. People standing right there in the room with us. Always, though, you're there, reading it with me. I'm just afraid that one Friday I'll have to go in there alone, because your name is one of those listed."
Worf stood with me. He took my arm, and motioned for me to come over to the window with him. He and I often sat in the large windowsill together, just looking out into the stars, "I cannot promise you that that will never happen. I wish with all my soul that I could, but I cannot."
"I know," I whispered. My head leaned back against his chest as he spoke.
"I can promise you that I will do *everything* in my power to make certain it does not."
"I know you will. You proved that already."
"I know you are probably tired to hearing, 'When this is all over'..."
"I am, believe me, I am," I insisted
I could feel him smile. He linked his hands in mine, and we placed both our hands on my stomach, "Well, when this is all over, we will begin the family that we *both* want. However many children you would like."
"Hmmm, I hadn't thought about that..."
"Five or six?" He asked, with a laugh in his voice.
"You have *got* to be kidding. One or two, maybe."
"As *soon* as this war is over, as soon as it is safe, we will focus on that."
"If we can survive that long," I pouted.
"Do not talk like that," Worf said sternly, "We have made it this far, nothing will come between us. Nothing at all..."
~~finis
~The End~
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