Standard disclaimer applies. Paramount owns it. I hve fun with it. Don't steal it from either of us
JADZIA
"I'd love to come, but I have to train these new officers. You know how much I like getting away from the station and being able to navigate the Defiant..."
Worf was sitting in the command chair on the Defaint's bridge. I was leaning against the science station, trying to explain to him why I wouldn't be accompanying him as he took the Defiant to Origos Prime to drop off the diplomats that had been visiting DS9. His eyes had been focused on his padd and the panel on the chair, "It is fine, Jadzia, Lieutenant Keneli is a capable helmsman."
"Yes, but, Lieutenant Keneli doesn't slip into your quarters at night."
Worf was amused, and he uncharacteristically teased me, "You never know..."
I smiled at him, "She'd *better* not."
Seriously, he looked up at me, "We will be fine without you."
"You've never commanded the ship without me at the helm."
"I will have to make sure not to mistakenly call Keneli, Dax."
A moment passed, I let out a sigh, and spoke up again, "I'd better let you finish your work so that you can get underway."
Worf nodded, not looking up.
Silently, I walked toward him with my hands clasped behind my back. I planted an affectionate kiss on his bowed forehead, and headed for the turbolift.
"Dax..."
I turned to face him.
"I will see you in a few days."
A smile formed on my lips, "I'll be here."
The doors of the turbolift closed before me. If I'd known what was about to happen, I would have said to hell with my training and stayed right there with him. But, I didn't. I went home to DS9, and Worf went into the deadly clutches of the Borg.
WORF
After delivering the Origosian diplomats, the Defaint was immedietly called to sector 001. A Borg cubical was spotted heading for Earth, and I led the ship in combat. I thought of three things as I commanded. My family on Earth, my lover on DS9, and the Enterprise.
I suppose being engaged in battle with the Borg made me think about the Enterprise. I suddenly felt very unqualified, as if I could not do this, as if I needed Captain Picard and my old crew to succeed. Sure, I had no fear of the Dominion or Romulans, or anyone. Yet, I felt an overwhelming urge to ask,
"What should we do Captain?"
And then, as if he had been reading my mind, the Enterprise appeared. They beamed the survivors of my ship on board just as life support began to fail. I stepped on the bridge of the new Enterprise- E and a huge weight hit me in the chest. I had not seen these people in over two years, these people who had been my best friends, my family, for eight years.
We were in a crisis situation, and I automatically forced and feelings I was having out of my mind. Finally, of course, we were able to stop the Borg in yet another attempt at overtaking Earth. Once it was over, and we'd arrived back to a normal twenty- fourth century, the Enterprise immedietly docked at Utopia Planitia for extensive repairs. The Defaint was there was well, and I stayed to oversee the repairs. I contacted DS9 to notify Captain Sisko of the situation. There was something I was avoiding, though I could not do it forever.
~~~~
"Mr. Worf."
I was at Starfleet Headquarters in San Francisco, on my way back to Utopia after sending an update on the Defiant to Captain Sisko. I heard a petite voice behind me, it simply stated my name and sent ripples through me. I knew exactly who it was.
I turned to her and tried to sound as professional as possible, "Counselor, what can I do for you?"
She gave me an odd smile, "My name isn't Counselor, Worf, it's Deanna," she looked nervous, which was unusual for her.
"Is everything alright?"
"Yes, yes," she nodded, "It's been awhile since we talked. I wanted to know if you'd have a drink with me tonight, we could do some catching up."
Part of me wanted to decline, I knew I probably should decline. But I didn't. I nodded, "Of course."
Deanna smiled, "Good. I'm staying on McKinley station..."
"We can meet at the crew lounge there."
Her smile was growing, it reminded me of the way she would look at me when we served together, "1900?"
I nodded.
"I'll see you then."
~~~~
I had not spoken to Jadzia since we parted on the Defiant a week ago. I had the opportunity, but I just did not. I spent the rest of that day thinking the upcoming dinner with Troi. She and I used to be very close, and tonight could only mean one of two things. Perhaps she did just want to talk, or perhaps she wanted to be close again.
As to what I expected from tonight, I was not sure. The only thing that I was sure about was that I had a wonderful woman back on DS9, and I would not let a good meal and few resurfacing memories make me forget that.
When I got to the crew lounge, she was already there. It resembled ten- forward aboard the Enterprise- D, and she was sitting at a table in front of one of the large viewports gazing out at the stars. Her legs were crossed and her thick curly hair hung perfectly down her back.
She spotted me and smiled. Her smile made me feel confident and secure, which probably was not a good thing, "I am not late am I?" I said as I sat across from her.
"No, I'm early. I hope you don't mind, I ordered for you."
I frowned slightly.
"I know you, Worf. I remember what you like, don't worry."
"You knew me well..."
"I *know* you well, it hasn't been that long."
I shifted nervously, and, of course, she sensed it. She took a drink from her glass, "What is it, Worf?"
"Nothing."
"You're uncomfortable," she stated.
There was no point in lying, "Yes."
"And you're wondering why I asked you here."
"Yes."
Deanna looked down at her hands for a moment, "I'm not really sure why," her large eyes, dark and emotional, seemed to stare right through me, "I miss you."
"It *has* been a long time..."
"Too long."
I was *really* uncomfortable now. It was obvious where this was going, and I did not want to engage in a conversation about the two of us.
"So," she began, "How are things going on DS9? I was shocked, to say the least, that you didn't accept your old position with us."
"It was time for my career to move on. I had been security chief for seven years, I was ready for a change. I enjoy command very much."
Her voice was quiet, I almost like a whisper, "I had a hard time accepting the fact that you weren't going to be around. You and I really began to feel something for one another."
I had no idea how to approach this, and I told her, "I do not know what to say."
"How about telling me how you *feel*?"
"You should know how I feel."
She nodded, "Yes, I do, to a point. I know that right now you're nervous, you don't really want to talk about this, yet you know we should. There's something you don't want me to know, a part of your emotions that you don't want me to read, an dyou're doing a pretty good job of hiding it. I'm curious, tell me what it is."
She would have to find out sooner or later, "A woman."
I could almost see all the color drain from her face, "A woman?" she spoke very slowly, as if she were tryign to maintain her composure. It was obvious that this came as an unpleasant shock to her, "You're seeing someone?"
"Yes."
"You're very serious about her," she surmised, "Who is she?"
I sighed, "Her name is Commander Jadzia Dax, she is a joined Trill. I met her when I first came aboard DS9. We became instant friends, and soon, more than that. I care very much for her."
"I can tell," Deanna sighed, "I just have to know one thing. If the Enterprise had never been destroyed, if we had never been seperated, would you and I have had something more? Did you feel about me as strongly as I felt about you?"
Her simple words cut through me. Did I? And if I had, how could I have forgotten her so easily? The truth was, I had forgotten about her. Then I asked myself, what had there been to forget? Deanna and I never *really* had a romantic relationship. Yes, we went out a few times, and we spent a lot of time together. There was certainly the potential for something serious, but, in my opinion, it was never realized. And it was definitely nothing like Jadzia and I. I could *feel* Jadzia deeply, her very presence touched my soul. She might drive me crazy at times, but she is everything to me. I never felt that way about Deanna. She was my friend, and but that was all. That was all it would have ever been.
"Perhaps you and I would have come together, but I do not think that it would have lasted."
She tilted her head in amusement, "Because we're too different?"
"Yes," I answered without hesitation.
"Are you and Jadzia are so much a like?"
"This is not about Jadzia," I pointed out, "You and I accept one another, but we do not genuinely understand each other. That would have been the catalyst to our inevitable separation."
"I can live with that answer," she said, "Is that why, after the crash, you never contacted me?"
"Not exactly. However, I could ask the same of you."
She smiled sheepishly, "Yes, you could. I guess, deep down, I know what you're saying is true," Troi lifted her eyes to face me, "I hope you and Dax are happy together, I really mean that. You deserve happiness, and love."
"I, I do love her..."
"Does she know?"
"No," I admitted, "I have not told her yet. But I am going to, as soon as I get home."
Now she looked uncomfortable, "Maybe I should go."
"Are you sure?"
"I asked you here to clear up some things, to tie up some loose ends. Now that that's done, well, I think it's time we both moved one."
I might not have her empathic powers, but I could tell that she was disappointed. It was clear, she did not ask me here to put a definite end to our relationship, she had wanted to restart it, "I have a feeling this did not turn out the way you planned."
Deanna blushed, "Is it that obvious? You're and intriguing man, Worf. Any woman would be lucky to have you. I envy Commander Dax."
I had never been in a position like this, it was rather flattering, "Thank you."
She stood, and repectfully, I stood with her, "Good bye, Commander," Deanna came upon her toes and gently kissed my lips,
I nodded to her, "Good bye Counselor."
~~~~
The repairs were finished within a week, and I commanded the Defaint back to Deep Space Nine. I was glad that Deanna and I spoke, it brought a definite end to a very uncertain part of my life, and I was glad that I was in love with Jadzia.
I thought back to when Captain Picard decided to destroy the Enterprise- E rather than allow the Borg to control it. He told us to make our way to the escape pods, and find a quite place on Earth. Right then, I knew I'd never return to the twenty- fourth century, and I would never see her again. My stomach hurt, and as we headed for the escape pods, without thinking, I whispered, "I love you." I wasn't talking to anyone on the ship, I was talking to Jadzia. I said it again, "I love you," it was amazing that just saying a few words could be so fulfilling.
My first stop once I was home on DS9 was ops. I was supposed to be meeting with Captain Sisko, but I was grossly sidetracked the minute I stepped off the turbolift. She was there, her back was turned to me, and she was sitting at the corner station behind mine. I told myself I would only stop to let her know that I was back.
My hands rested on her shoulders and she jumped, "I did not mean to startle you."
Jadzia turned in her chair, "Worf, I didn't know you were coming home today. Are you okay? I heard what happened..."
"I am fine, Dax."
"I should have been there with you."
"I was relieved that you were *not* there, that you were safe here on the station."
She folded her arms across her chest and looked up at me, "Protecting me, Worf?"
"I protect the people I love."
That is not how I planned to declare my feelings, but I could not take it back. Suddenly I felt very self conscious. I left quickly and headed for Captain Sisko's office. I anxiously imagined her saying, with a dismissing laugh, "Love? We're not *that* serious, Worf," or something to that affect.
JADZIA
I sat there, speechless. Perhaps that was just a random phrase, he probably didn't mean *love*, it just came out that way. But then again, maybe he did. Worf loves me. A large, giddy smile spread on my lips. He loves me. My gaze was directed to Benjamin's office. I could see Worf there, standing over his desk. That man in there is in love with me. And the best part about it was, I love him too. My smile wouldn't seem to fade, nor did I want it too. I'm not totally sure how I know I love him, or even what loving someone means. All I know is that it felt like he was *in* me, I could feel his presence inside myself. Even though he drives me crazy, I'd never want to be with anyone else.
"I love you too," I whispered.
~The End~
Have something to say about this story? Visit the Discussion Area!