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JADZIA

Where do I start? This has got to be the worst day of my life. Okay, maybe it isn't *that* bad. I'm certain no one blames me for this totally outrageous situation. Then again, I am the one who insisted upon investigating this planet, and now, here we are, faced with a colony full of our own descendants. It's a long, complicated story, but it is basically all my fault.

The weird thing about being on the colony, Gaia as they, we, called it, was spending time with myself. Yedrin Dax, my successor. The original accident sent the Defiant back 200 years in time, and my symbiont was passed down through my lineage.

We beamed down and spoke with Yedrin and Miranda O'Brien, one of the chief's descndants. Kira was sick, and if we didn't get her back to DS9, she would die. But if we didn't recreate the accident and maroon ourselves on Gaia, this whole civilization would cease to exist.

Yedrin had an idea that would suffice both situations. He wanted to try to create a duplicate Defiant, which would allow us to go home, and to stay on Gaia. It was perfect. He and I went back up to the ship to figure out the ends and outs of it.

I knew I was supposed to be working, but I had a ton of questions for him. What had my life been life? What did my children look like, how many did I have Worf. I was dying to ask him about what became of Worf and I, but I wasn't sure how to approach it. However, he solved that for me.

We were in engineering, and I tossed my ponytail over my shoulder, Yedrin let out a small laugh.

"What?" I asked him.

He shook his head.

"Tell me!" I insisted.

"You just reminded me of something. The summer after the crash, it was so hot, Jadzia cut her hair short. Worf hated it."

*I can imagine*, I thought.

Yedrin tipped hid head back, relishing in the memory, "I remember promising to grow it back in time for the wedding."

*That's* what I wanted to hear from him, "We got married?" I asked, my voice was filled with all the surprise that I was feeling.

"MmHm. The next fall, Benjamin performed the ceremony. I'll never forget Worf's voice as he said his vows, it was shaking," Yedrin laughed, and I stood there, smiling like a giddy child.

"Were we happy together?" I asked

"MmHm. He's a good man, Jadzia."

"I know. It's just, sometimes, he's so hard to get along with."

Yedrin shook his head, "Don't worry, you'll learn to handle him."

I blushed, letting it all sink in, "It must be hard for you, seeing Worf again."

He nodded, "Yes. I have the memories of everything you ever felt for him, and seeing him makes it all come back. I must admit, I felt this uncontrollable urge to touch his shoulder, like you always did. But," Yedrin laughed, "I knew better."

I joined him, "Yes, I can just imagine the look on his face."

His voice became serious again, "I know that right now, you love Worf very much, and you want to be with him, but you're worried that you two are too different to make it work."

"Yes, I think about that a lot lately."

"Especially since he's spent every night for the past week in your quarters," Yedrin added.

I blushed, the things he knew were amazing, "Yeah. I'm just afraid that by trying to improve something that is already good, we may ruin it."

He shook his head, "No, that isn't going to happen. Remember, I know exactly what you're going through, Jadzia. Trust me on this, things are only going to get better."

WORF

Later that same day, Jadzia learned that Yedrin had been decieving us, that there would be no duplicate Defiant. He was doing everything in his power to make sure the colony survived, and I understood his logic. Gaia was his home, he wanted to protect it.

Earlier that day, while Dax was up on the ship working with Yedrin, I was on the surface . While I was there, I met a group of my own descendants, a group that made me want to burst with pride. They lived away from the main settlement, as warriors of ancient times did. Even though their blood was not pure, their hearts were truly Klingon.

After they left, I went to the meeting hall on Gaia to do some research. These descendants had to have a mother, and I wanted to know who it was. After a few moments, I found it, and the answer did not surprise me.

"Jadzia," I whispered to myself. We had three children together, the oldest was a girl and two younger boys, Dax's symbiont was passed through our daughter's line, and the descendants of our younger sons carried the Klingon tradition out to the fullest.

I spent the rest of the day, trying to arrange a solitary moment with her, but she had a lot to do. Finally, the next morning, I was able to catch her and convince her to take a walk with me.

She was quiet, which was not normal for Dax. After learning of Yedrin's deception, Captain Sisko decided not to take the Defiant back in time, which would them cause these people to never exist. I can not say that I was pleased with that descision, though I knew why he made it. As for Jadzia, I had no idea what she felt and she didn't seem eager to talk about it.

"Do you hate me?" she finally asked.

I was taken aback by her abruptness, "What are you talking about?"

"This is all my fault, you know. If I had just kept my mouth shut, if we had just gone back to DS9 like we were supposed to, we wouldn't be in this mess."

"Is that how you feel? This is not your fault, Dax. You were doing your job as an explorer and a scientist. There is nothing wrong with that."

She sighed, "I know, I know. I just can't help but feel bad about it."

"Do you think we should stay here?"

Jadzia paused, "I don't know. I'm divided on the issue. Yes, I want these people to survive, but, I don't want to bear the burden that Yedrin has. I don't want to spend the rest of my existence feeling guilty. I don't want Kira to die. What about you?"

"I think we should stay. Though, my decision is somewhat biased," we stopped walking and sat on the ground. We were about two hundred meters away from the main compound, in a grassy area, not far from Kira's grave, "I did some checking, on us, and our life here on Gaia."

She nodded, "Yedrin told me a few things as well."

"Then you know?"

"About us getting married, yes I know."

"This is very... "

"Awkward," she finished for me. We sat there talking, yet our eyes didn't meet once.

"Yes."

Jadzia sighed, "We have never had trouble talking about things before."

"I know."

"Yedrin told me that," Jadzia finally looked at me, "That we were happy together."

"I would not have doubted that."

That made Dax smile. She reached out and took my hand, and I gently squeezed it. I pulled her close and she leaned against my torso. Subtle laughter emanated from her chest.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Is it possible to miss something you never had?" she asked me, "I miss our children, I miss spending my life with you," Jadzia reached up and touched my face, "I, I miss hearing your voice shake as you say your vows."

"It is possible, because I feel it as well. I spent time with some of our descendants, a group who chose to live like traditional warriros. Seeing them, seeing how proud they are of the legacy we left for them, it made me feel so good. Or seeing the little girl, Lisa, in the meeting hall, with the dark skin and Trill spots... it was very powerful."

"I know. It's been weird hearing all these stories from Yedrin. He's me, and yet he's one of my children, one of *our* children."

"I would not mind hearing some of those stories myself."

Dax laughed, "He and I talked for hours last night, I suggested inviting you, but seeing you makes him uncomfortable."

I had not considered that, but it made sense, "I never thought about that."

"You have to understand, he has all my feelings, he knows what it is like to be in I being in love with you, and seeing you only made him remember what he used to have. Technically, he loves you just as much as I do."

I frowned, "Then I am glad he keeps his distance."

"He said you'd react that way."

We were quiet for a long time. I finally broke the silence, "Just because we cannot have a life together here does not mean that we cannot have one back on-- "

"I know," she said quickly, cutting me off, "But there are so many factors back home that do not apply here."

"What factors?"

"You know what I mean, Worf. Things on the station are different than they are here. Here, we had a different purpose, we were just trying to survive."

"If you and I are as strong as I think we are, none of that should make a difference."

Jadzia rolled her eyes, "This is why I avoided you yesterday, I didn't want to get into a discussion about this."

"And why not?" I demanded, "I think this is a topic worth addressing, Dax. When we get back to DS9, where will you and I stand? Are we going to go on like this forever, or are we going to go further?"

Dax jumped up, putting her hands on her hips, "We're not going anywhere if you don't stop pressuring me about this!"

Even though her voice was far from calm, I kept mine that way, "I am not trying to pressure you, Jadzia. I just want a little clarity."

"Clarity? Nothing is clear to me right now, nothing. So just leave it at that."

I stood with her, "Why are you getting so upset about this? I just want to know what you think. I am not asking you to marry me, I just want your *opinion*."

"And what if my opinion differs from yours? Then where does that leave us?" She asked bluntly.

"I will not be angry if you do not want to marry me, if *that* is what you are wondering."

She paused, turning her eyes away from me for a moment. I stroked her cheek with the back of my hand, and her eyes lulled closed, "I don't know what I want," she whispered, letting down her defenses, "I think about it a lot, a *lot*. But, I just don't know. When you ask for my opinion, I feel like you're forcing me to decide, and I can't right now."

"That is fine," I said, trying to sound soothing, "The next time we speak of this, it will be by your doing. I will not bring it up again."

"Thank you. I appreciate that."

I offered my arm to her, "We should head back to the compound."

Jadzia nodded, linked her arm in mine, and we walked away together.
 

~The End~

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