Take me home!

Spirit Pages (continued)

A5) Everything that Exists is Acted Upon and Undergoes Change

Consciousness only really does one thing, it continually evolves. From moment to moment it follows a course of evolution. That evolution happens by means of consciousness being acted upon in a specific manner (by itself). So all other consciousnesses in existence are always involved in creating the stage in which, moment to moment, each consciousness is caused to evolve. But at a more fundamental level that change, that evolution, is entirely what consciousness is rather than what it does.

The individuality of consciousness means that its evolution is also individual and unique. And it is this unique path of change through time that allows beings to make a unique contribution, unfailingly. Consciousness is both unique and constantly moving through evolution.

Change is the nature of reality, because consciousness is the nature of everything in reality, and the nature of consciousness is to constantly change. Consciousness is not a thing, not something in motion but the motion itself without an object, appearance without an object. Change in consciousness can be slow and subtle or rapid, but every single thing, whether animate or inanimate is made of consciousness.

The brain is a vehicle that allows a small fragment of our total consciousness to operate in the physical world. The brain is both an operating mechanism and a filter for consciousness. But in reality the brain does not exist, rather it is a symbolic representation of our individual mind. It has no power to think at all.

Outside of the body, consciousness functions rather differently. Uninhibited by the physical body, its only limitations of movement are in the form that the consciousness can conceive of. Consciousness can possess �talents� which are certain forms of skills made of understanding. This understanding does not have to be conscious, but can be imbedded deeply in the identity of the person.

For example, a person who can walk into a room and immediately charm people into liking him or her has a talent. This talent is based on knowledge. They may not be able to spell out exactly what they are doing verbally, or even be consciously aware of what they are doing, but they know how to do it. There are people who are talented at hurting people and people who are talented at not being hurt. All talents are a kind of knowing.

All consciousness is in a constant state of change, not because of �time�, but because consciousness has no innate properties, which means it does not exist in any sense that we can define in any limited way. The reason for that is that its existence is simply in its being rather than in context to something else and therefore the stuff it is made out of can�t separately exist so as to be definable or observable by default. Let me explain in a more precise manner.

We are in a world made of consciousness, as we have already established, and we always have one foot in the future, and one in the past. We are the sum total of our past consciousness reacting to present situations, always entering into the present which was the future just a moment ago. Consciousness can�t stop because it is like a dust devil, pure motion. Consciousness is not a thing but a process with no �thing� in process; it is simply movement with nothing actually moving. So, the continual motion of consciousness is what consciousness actually is, rather than a �thing�. Our existence is just an event. The seeming subject/object dualities that can be seen and observed in life have to be invented, because they are an illusion.

And, from a certain perspective, reality is not even an event. The idea of consciousness in motion seems contradictory; as how can you have �nothing� in motion? Because it is only nothing in the sense that it is the only thing in existence, not a void, and thus there is no other thing to which it can be compared and contrasted. Therefore it has no materiality as such, as materiality is really the measuring of qualities and differences between things, a measure of contrast, subject/object, foreground/background and perception and perceived.

So, we live in a world that is in a constant change. Everything is constantly being acted on in the sense that consciousness is constantly in motion, and as such the consciousness of any given thing is always being acted on and influenced by some other consciousness at all moments in time. In reality this change is not through being acted on but an internal quality of consciousness that expresses itself as consciousness being acted on by other consciousness at a more illusory subject/object level. But how does knowing this help us?

In the following exercise, we will explore how consciousness from one period of time to another is itself a discreet consciousness. This is a different way of looking at our identity.

Exercise: Before and After

Begin by choosing two points in time in your life. They could be a few weeks or months apart for our purposes, or even a few days if there was some dramatic intervening event.

Relax and visualize the events of the beginning of that period of time as you remember them. Now, visualize the events from the end of that period of time.

Now, see yourself in a totally white space of unseen dimensions. See the events of that entire time period as a column of experience, with the bottom being the beginning and the top being the end. Enter this column and experience being inside of it. You will have a feeling of that time period and perhaps have memories as flashbacks of different events from that period of time.

Now, expand your �body� to encompass the whole column of experience. You will feel a mix and variety of contrasting emotions, although a common theme or themes of feeling may emerge. There may be a sense of great inner activity.

Now we are going to take it one step further. We are going to make this a new identity. Count from one to ten while still in this full-column state, with the idea that you will be an identity that encompasses all of this consciousness as one being. Once you have done that, see how you feel, and see what kind of environment emerges around you. What are you wearing, and what do you see?

I was wearing a kind of cheesy cowboy outfit and had cowboy hat in my exploration. This stood for a period of time when I left home after college and went out to California to live in San Francisco. I wanted to be around other gay men and have that kind of urban experience. I was disappointed with that area and returned east in a rather despondent state. But going west had been a very happy and exciting time in my life.

Once you have established a single identity, body and environment. Ask yourself some questions. Who are you? Why are you in this environment? What does it mean? Finally, ask yourself what the meaning of your experience during that period of time was, and what you should learn from it. Ask how the meaning of that period applied to the way the rest of your life turned out. Also, ask how this metaphor for this period of time applies to your future, what it means for your future.

You may find that the answers are strongly metaphoric; some may be completely literal. For example, I was watching a rodeo and was surrounded by people who appeared distorted and larger than me. When I asked this new self why, he said that they were not larger; I was just not seeing eye to eye with them. I had left feeling that way about people in general, and had felt that way in California as well. Be sure to ask specific questions and get specific answers to problems that you are facing. You will be surprised at how insightful and helpful this information may be. Write down everything you are told in your journal.

We like to think that we �own� our identity, but in fact it is group property. That doesn�t mean that we are prisoners of our experience, but everything we do belongs to everyone. Even our own identity is a concatenation of ideas, feeling and smaller sub-identities that are all evolving. Other people entirely depend on our existence to have the experiences they came for from Spirit. We get what we want by willingly asking The Collective for everything we want and by doing so being part of The Collective, being the means for the fulfillment of others simply by pursuing our own desires.

A6) Every moment appears to offer us a variety of directions to move in, although there is only one that they can move in.

As human beings, we frame our experience in terms of free will. But, how much free will do we really possess? On an absolute level, none, but on an illusory level quite a bit. However, there are times where we are fairly caged in and our options are limited. When all our options lead nowhere, we have to ask ourselves what the point of making choices is. Only evolution can raise us up above our own personal dead ends.

We could not have our current experience without choices. It is the illusion of choice that allows each being to feel as if they own their experiences, to make an effort and to struggle and move towards goals. Choice is the illusion by which the identity is sustained. It is part of the process of thought.

Spirit beings have a vast amount of �free will� and choice at their disposal. They are not bound by responsibility and physical limitations as we are. They can pursue what they want rather than what they don�t want and they can have what they want rather than being frustrated and failing. Where we waste day and years and decades in frustrating experiences as we pursue our goals, Spirit beings don�t have to wait for fulfillment. They can even change their identity, explore various levels of being and play free and loose with time itself. They are masters of free will.

Although Spirit beings understand that on an absolute level there is no free will, they still appreciate that they have a vast array of choices to explore at all times. This means that each individual consciousness has the illusion of choice to enjoy, and the ability to make decisions, even though there is only one possible future for them in reality. Because identity is essentially an illusion, the free will it enjoys is also an illusion.

Although may people believe in free will, few actually exercise it. People fall into ruts and patterns very easily, and true spontaneity is rare. People don�t look at where they are going, and often feel driven. We seek out confinement as much as we do freedom. There is pain in freedom for us, almost as much as there is in imprisonment.

Rather than always being involved in momentum or inertia, we can stop and look at choices we are making and decide what ideas we want to move towards. We get focused on movement through physical space and on the achievement of physical goals when we have at our disposal the ability to shift our identity, our beliefs and the ideas we explore as well.

A shift in consciousness is powerful and has long-reaching implications. When you consciously decide to shift your state of consciousness, you are altering your identity, which in turn alters your course through life, how you are treated by others, your external circumstances and how you feel.

The more of your �identity� that you are willing to change, the more you have potentially to gain. Although it feels scary to give up portions of your identity, it is comforting to know that we all have tons of unhealthy desires that can be sacrificed. As we lose identity elements, we gain new knowledge, because consciousness does not allow a vacuum. So, this is a fundamental way in which we can use choice to improve our lot in life. Acknowledging that some of our desires tie us to unhealthy life processes, such as poverty, painful relationships, fear, depression, etc., we can do away with them. Below is an exercise to explore the process of changing your desires and thus your identity.

Exercise: Escape from Spiral Traps

Spirit refers to the idea of �Processes�, which can be visualized as spiral vortexes of energy that look like the Milky Way Galaxy. A Process can be �fear�, �my bad relationship with my ex� or �my constantly falling standard of living�, or any other process or state of being in which we tend to get trapped. Like a person trapped in quicksand, a Process pulls us down.

A person is only involved in a Process to the degree that their desire ties them to that Process. You have to have some element of self that is part of the spiral of the Process in order to be caught in its gravity. To remove yourself from that involvement, you have to remove that desire from yourself. That sounds like it would be too difficult to do, but it is actually possible to change your desires over time.

The first step is to identify a Process that you want to escape from. Let�s say it is �a constantly falling standard of living.� Now we need to identify what desire it is that is tying us to that Process. Imagine yourself in a pure white space with no boundaries and no body. Now, say to yourself, �On a count of ten, I will be the desire that ties me to a �constantly falling standard of living� Process. Count to ten and see and feel what you are. Ask yourself what desire you are from an external viewpoint.

You should get a very clear feeling of what that desire is. Let�s say for the sake of argument that you the desire is to have the highest standard of living possible, and to want to live like the ultra-rich, basking in luxury. This is the desire that is tying you to a constantly falling standard of living process. So now we want to get rid of it. First, we have to eliminate our identification with the desire. Say, �From Spirit, I now count from one to ten, and as I do so I eliminate my identification with this desire.� Count to ten while thinking about the desire you are eliminating.

Now you want to actually remove the desire. Say, �From Spirit, I now count from one to ten and as I do so I remove this desire from myself permanently.� Count to ten. Now you need to �seal� your identity with the desire removed from it. Say, �From Spirit, I count from one to ten, and as I do so I reintegrate my identity without this desire, permanently.� Count to ten. This is an example of how to generate the effect of removing a desire from your identity.

Needless to say, the effect is not absolutely permanent. You might want to refresh the process once a week until you feel secure in functioning without that desire. Desire is habitual, and breaking a habit is the only way to truly break a desire.

Free will is really a way of relating to your life. Not allowing other people or circumstances to determine your course in life, but looking inwardly and making choices out of your own desires is the most important element. Also looking at what ideas you want to understand and integrate into yourself is also important. Ask yourself, �If I was truly and fully happy in my life, where would I be? What would I be doing?� Once you know, work toward that every day of your life, on all levels, and release yourself from the spirals that pull you away from a fulfilling life.

B) Vast, unexplored areas of consciousness and manifestation can be explored at any point on any timeline of personal experience.

Just as we look up into the vastness of space and see billions of stars in regions of space that we might someday visit, so do beings in Spirit look at the vast regions of unexplored consciousness and ponder what they might hold. It is one of the purposes of Spirit to fill this vast void with consciousness experience.

Consciousness is all about information being associated with other information. The vast complexity of these interactions produces new consciousness constantly, which comes from existing consciousness going through a process of evolution. However, that expanse can never be �filled� at all. Complexity will always generate new and higher degrees of complexity in an environment of consciousness because, unlike the physical world, the world of consciousness has an unlimited capacity for generation of forms and levels of consciousness.

Spirit beings understand that consciousness takes the form of different �identities� that are the means by which experience is generated. Spirit plane conceives of and generates new identities for its own purposes of filling the Great Mystery Circle. Spirit beings glean �meaning� from all consciousness experiences, as meaning is the only newness in existence. Meaning is the true form behind any apparent form of experience and is therefore the true form of all newness.

Spirit beings understand that all ideas and consciousness in existence are really only one idea and consciousness, with a complex multifaceted development into the Great Mystery Circle. Beings in Spirit see that all knowledge has its limits, but those limits depend on the time that you encounter that knowledge in the greater timeline of consciousness filling the Great Mystery Circle. At one point in time, a certain kind of knowledge may have more restrictive limits, while later it has much broader limits, because it has been mixed with other forms of knowledge in a variety of combinations, thus widening its sphere of influence.

In simpler terms, Spirit itself contains the entire contents of the Great Mystery Circle because it is beyond time. Although these contents are infinite, they contain finite strings of experience. How can something contain an infinite set of experiences? The answer is that they are not truly infinite, but simply too large to comprehend. What does one billion to the billionth power mean to you? What is the number of stars in our universe? You get the picture.

Add to this complexity the further degree of complexity of various levels of activity, planes of existence, modes of being and abstract exploration of ideas at their most fundamental levels and you begin to understand that there are levels of complexity that simply cannot be contained by anything approaching a human mind. But despite this, the day will come when we will leave behind all perceptual states of being and move beyond perception entirely as we merge with God entirely. This is where we are headed.

The vast nature of Spirit experience is so far beyond our level of current experience that we may simply be too flabbergasted by it to really appreciate it. We can begin to understand what it offers by looking at our own life, our past, and seeing what it is that could be explored in various ways. Here we at least have a frame of reference to work with. It is through this process that we begin to grasp how much can be done with a single life, not to mention billions upon billions.

B1) All knowledge leads to more knowledge and new material. (e2)

Identity is an idea that is filled with information. You would tend to think of your own identity as a matter of fact, not an idea. But, in fact, it is an idea that you have increasingly believed in and invested in over time. Your identity is made up of vast amounts of information in the form of your collective memories, thoughts and feelings.

It is through our experiencing new combinations of information that we have new experiences and thus new knowledge. For example, every new situation offers us new information. Every bit of new information we get in turn interacts with all the knowledge that we hold in our identity, which generates new information from our reaction to this new information. This new information we get from our reaction to encountering new information in turn becomes new material for us to work with, generating new experiences and new knowledge, and so forth without end.

Imagine at all the possible poems that could be written about love (and nothing else); and compare that with the number of poems that could be written about love and/or betrayal. There would, logically, be many more poems about love and/or betrayal than just exclusively about love, because you are writing about all the possible permutations of two different ideas.

Also, for each idea that you add to the possible subject matter of your poems, you create the potential for even more complex stories to unfold. A poem about love, betrayal and death could be much more complex than a poem that was strictly limited to the subject matter of love.

In physical experience, we tend to be limited in the ideas that we can identify with. As such, this puts a limit on the number of possible experiences we can have in the physical world. In Spirit we can deal with ideas that go far beyond our current understanding and identify with them. Because we can also explore these ideas as worlds and identify with them, there is no limit to what we can experience in Spirit.

Looking at the Great Mystery Circle, Spirit beings realize that all their experiences will be artfully blended together, through individual or group use of those experiences that generate new experiences. These new combinations of consciousness will fill the vast expanses of unexplored consciousness. These experiences will include the development and sharing of ideas and emotional content.

This unfolding of consciousness is by no means a haphazard process, but is in fact developed in such a way as to tap into the highest possible level of meaning for each experiential combination for each experiencer at that moment in time. Physical existence is actually a very low level of creative process from a Spirit perspective. The bulk of existence is on higher levels and enjoys a much higher level of creative possibility.

However, the highest potential of meaning being revealed at any point in time to an individual is always the highest one possible at that moment. Identity is actually self-limiting in such a way that it leads the person down the exact path of highest possible meaning for them. It is like a train that carries its own tracks so that no energy goes to waste in constructing them.

Also, the creative process is multileveled to a vast degree of complexity. In such a complex system, each individual person has their own limited �context� to work in. Your context for yourself personally can be seen as the range of motion you have in consciousness. This is your �vista� of choice, thought, feeling and movement. It was artificially limited when you chose to go create a �physical� identity when you were in Spirit.

Beyond our purely physical limitations, we are limited to different degrees of freedom in our consciousness from person to person. People with a wider degree of thought are more like Spirit, enjoying a wider variety of internal choices, and a greater sense of internal freedom. People that are more limited in what they can conceptualize have fewer ideas and more limitations of thought.

But, even with vast internal freedom, there is still the issue of how you are using it. Complexity can lead to confusion and suffering. When complexity and freedom of choice reveals no solutions to our condition of suffering, we despair and turn to higher consciousness to reveal itself to us. This is when a higher aspect of our own mind can step in and become part of the evolving identity. It has to be desired, which requires that the person no longer desires to see things in a limited way.

In the following exercise we will combine two ideas together as one single idea, with no loss of information in either idea occurring in the combination. Then, we will draw four ideas out of that new idea, and write them down. This will demonstrate how combining ideas can generate vast complexity and also improve ideas.

Exercise: Combining Ideas

To begin with, we will start with two ideas; �Empathy is the key to understanding� and �Understanding is the key to compassion.� Get comfortable with your journal and a pen handy.

Visualize an empty white space, and our two ideas as yellow glowing balls of light. Travel into the first idea and explore it, feeling it and looking at it in detail. Allow ideas to come to mind that are part of that idea, or related to it. Write down those ideas in your journal. Now, do the same with the second idea.

Remove yourself from both ideas now and watch them merge together into one idea with no loss of information in the merging process. Now explore this new idea as you did the first two, taking notes when you are finished.

Now, withdraw again, and draw out four major ideas from the new combined idea. Explore each of the four ideas one by one as you did before, and write those four ideas down as you experience and understand them, in your journal.

Let me walk you through the process as it went for myself, to give you an example of how this works. I start by seeing a blank white space. I see two yellow floating orbs that represent our two ideas.

First, I enter into the idea of, �Empathy is the key to understanding.� I travel into this yellow globe while keeping in mind what it means. I see that empathy is the basis for compassion and that it allows us to feel for others. It receives without taking away from others.

Now, I go back out and enter into the second idea, �Understanding is the key to compassion.� I feel the flow of ideas and knowledge entering into this idea, which is the inflow of understanding that is constantly occurring in this idea. I see how it manifests compassion as a product of this integration of understanding by building bridges of abstract reasoning that allow us to overcome our emotional biases and see things clearly, to see the universality of our experience and struggles.

Now I exit this idea and I merge the two ideas �additively,� as I like to call it, meaning that they are combined into one new form without any loss to either and with the full potential of both. As I see them merging I remind myself of what they mean. I give them a five count to merge to prevent there being any fear that they will not merge completely.

Now, I enter into this new conglomerate idea. I see it flowing with information and compassion. I see how compassion is simply seeing others. It is a form of perception like sight or hearing. I see how lack of conscience is a form of disability of the mind that prevents a certain kind of understanding. I see how compassion is a function of the imagination. I also see how compassion is a form or level of self-awareness.

So, these are my four ideas that I have pulled out of this one idea:
1. Compassion is a form of perception like sight or hearing.
2. Lack of compassion is a mental disability in the same way that blindness is
a physical disability.
3. Compassion is a function of the imagination.
4. Compassion is a form of self-awareness that can also be seen as a level of
self-awareness.

I explored these four ideas while still inside the merged idea, but the result is the same. Try it yourself and write down any notes that feel important.

If you wish to try a different version of this exercise, instead of merging two ideas, merge yourself and another person into one new being that is the �additive� result, with no loss to either of you. Then, experience being the resulting person and take notes in your journal on who this person is in the world, what world they live in, how they see the world and how they feel. The resulting person will be more than a human being, probably closer to what you conceptualize a demigod to be. What insights do you have (as this new being) on your non-merged identity?

If you are attracted to someone, you can use this exercise to experience a very intense level of being in love with someone. Begin by imagining that the two of you can meet in an entirely mind-created environment. See a fraction of yourself, maybe 1% of your total consciousness and the same amount of their consciousness as merging (additively) into a new being. Both of your consciousnesses will then flow through this single being at all times, constantly circulating rapidly so that you both experience a degree of oneness with each other.

Now, imagine you are interacting at this new level. You will feel a strong increase of love and understanding. Now try increasing the percentage of your total identities that are invested in this single being. You will find that the experience of unification in this manner is very intense.

Another version of this exercise is to combine seemingly unrelated ideas, such as a scientific idea and a philosophical idea. What kind of resulting idea do you get? Remember that neither of these ideas is inhibited by this combination.

Also, try combining different senses such as touch and taste, or hearing and sight. Try putting together good and evil and see what you get. I had fascinating results with all of these! Remember that these ideas are whole worlds of understanding; give yourself time to really explore them.

In the future, if you are involved in a personal struggle of some sort, you can identify the problem you are having, to begin with. Write this down, then merge this problem as an idea with yourself as an idea. Make this merging additive.

From a psychological perspective and a spiritual perspective this kind of merging with a problem as an idea is very significant. This is because the basis for our seeming conflict with this idea can be overcome with understanding. It is only through truly seeing the other idea that we can make peace with it and additively incorporate it into ourselves. It is only because we see the idea of that problem as being in conflict with who we are that it seems to threaten us. This is problem solving at the highest level.

When we �hate� someone, if they seem to have some sort of negative influence on our life that we can�t escape, then we have to merge with them additively in order to overcome that seeming conflict. You will notice that the idea of merging additively with someone you hate will make you feel repulsed and disgusted. This is because the person is seen as an overwhelmingly negative thing. But by additively merging with them in your mind and exploring this, you will no longer have the basis for conflict with them that you did. They will either go away or become a positive element in your life if you persist in practicing this technique and you gain this new understanding. It might take some time, but it is a real solution, not just shoving the person away from you and not dealing with the problem they represent symbolically in your mind.

The things we see and hate seem to have a tremendous power over us. That is only because we are forced to see the symbolic representations of what we hate. This is entirely an internal process. The other person we seem to hate is just a figurehead, a symbol for something in our mind. They represent an idea that we need to understand, and by understanding love and integrate into ourselves.

The same is true of problems in our environment, our bodies or ourselves. They are symbolic, entirely internal to us and what we see is an externalized representation that forces us to feel the conflict so that it must be acknowledged and resolved, because any divorce between ourselves and any idea that generates hostility is like a cut crying out for stitches; we must acknowledge and heal the wound.

B2) Identity is the means used by higher consciousness to map all possible experiences and all experiences move through identities.

In Spirit, identity is a basic unit of measure. Let�s say, for example, that you are a Spirit being and you want to explore what it is like to live in the Tibetan Buddhist Heaven of Delighting in the Emanations of Others. This is a high level paradise where devas, the denizens of this plane, live in great luxury and all their whims are instantly manifested for them by other beings.

You have chosen the type of being you want to be and where you want to be. You choose a certain period of time, say seventy-two hours of subjective time. You go into a being of this type and enjoy their experiences for that period of time, then come back to yourself. This is how a Spirit being uses identity to have a particular type of experience.

Your identity, from a Spirit perspective, is what defines you, but also what limits you. If you want a particular kind of experience, you have it by creating or tapping into the identity that you want. By changing your identity, you change how you see the world and what you feel.

You can think of your identity as a unicycle; successfully riding it is a matter of keeping your balance. Activities and feelings that move you too far away in any one direction or another emotionally or mentally out of the range of what that identity can handle causes a potential disruption of the identity.

The identity has its own balance, and part of that balance is constant motion. So, identity is the means of �mapping� reality, by generating particular states of consciousness in particular environmental settings, a constant flow of new events and experiences.

For example, a person may have a need to reconnect with nature and Spirituality. They generate, from Spirit plane, an identity for themselves in a plane of existence that they create to meet their exploration of nature and Spiritual needs. This identity is a means of having a particular kind of experience. It is created to be in balance in an environment skewed toward Spirituality and being in touch with nature. Your own identity in the physical world is also a means to an end. Even if you feel like you are crazy, poor, lazy or just plain worthless, you are in balance within the context of your own identity. You are moving forward, always, at the rate that your identity can handle. If you fail, fall or even die, it is because that is the function of your identity.

So, there is no free will, no success or failure in the context of identity. You simply have the type of experience that you generated for yourself from Spirit level. It is not a test, although you will feel tested. Rather, you will do exactly what you are supposed to do. When you return to Spirit, you will know that you couldn�t have lived a better or different life. This is the nature of the trap we have placed ourselves in.

But, before we get frustrated at being trapped, we also have to know that everything we experience is what we want, that it will make more sense when we are in Spirit because we will fully appreciate our experience and will understand why we wanted it at all. We will be left with only the value, not the suffering. So there is a reward for our patience.

You have to laugh when people claim to want to know all of life�s answers, because knowing something like that would blow your fuses in your current identity and you would no longer be able to lives as the same person, or possibly even live as a human being at all.

In our Spiritual work we constantly work towards self-change. Dropping your attachments within the context of your identity is very difficult because it is the focal center of all your attachment. There is something within you that deeply wants your experience, even if you can�t agree with it or become consciously fully aware of it.

You want a continuity of identity through time, even if you are willing to change as a person. So, to die may be very scary in the sense that you fear that you won�t be the same person, that you won�t want the same things. This in turn would mean that your unfulfilled desires would be lost to you. Identity change must occur in such a way that you are not pulled too far out of yourself at any one time.

Even a miserable person will wince at the thought of giving up their own identity. From a distance it can look very appealing, but it is really quite frightening. However, we can change from one identity to another with great ease in Spirit. Rather than simplifying things, this actually raises new issues, because we have to be careful about how much of our identity we give away to another identity, because of it�s profound impact on us. Spirit beings overcome this by knowing that they have the best and highest life possible with the greatest freedom of choice, so any new experiences will not in any manner seduce them from their current identity.

When fantasy verges on reality, how much of our identity can we safely place in another form? Who will we be when we come out of that? That doesn�t seem very relevant to us, but think more about how we become the adults we are today through cultural influences. We are pressured as children to take on adult roles gradually over time, and punished when we fail to do so. The pleasure of conformity and the pain of non-compliance with the pressures on us are simply too great to resist.

Having had other peoples� imaginary roles forced on us, we compensate by taking on our own imaginary roles and trying to live them out. We hold onto an image of what we value and want to become. Over time, we give more and more of our identity away to that other self, until we really truly identify with it. But, in turn, we lose touch with its fictional nature.

All identity is insincere, insecure and an act that to some degree can be ruptured. We can fall back on previous forms of our identity if our current identity can�t handle the strain of living. This being said, we think we know who we are, but our many damaged selves lurk within us, awaiting opportunities to reassert themselves in different forms.

Because we are filled with false identities, and falsehood is a basic component of identity, then it stands to reason that we are filled with fear and insecurity. In Spirit there is identity but it is not separate from God or other identities. We have the security and peace of being one with God, having eternity to explore and no guilt or pain to deal with. So, even though our identity in Spirit is just as big an illusion as our identity in the physical, it is a positive rather than painful fiction that serves us rather than beating us up.

Taking on any new role in the physical world forces new fictional identities on us. Taking on a position in a company can force us to take on a �secondary identity.� Have you ever noticed how you may feel and act differently and even hold different values while at work than when you are in your public life? Have you ever caught yourself saying or doing things at work that cause you to question what kind of impact your business identity is having on your personal self?

Having your company begin to assert itself on your personal life in a variety of ways can be incredibly stressful. This is partially due to the fact that a rupture in the fabric between your personal and professional identities can be painful, like having toxins released into your body from a lanced infection. To your non-work identity, an alternate identity is an invasion and a threat. We find ourselves caught in the catch-22 of impossibility neither being able to create a comfortable working identity nor being able to be our personal self comfortably at work.

For people who carefully separate their personal and business identities, they do so to make their life bearable, because having to be one person in both worlds would simply be too stressful. And conversely, your business identity can become polluted with personal identity issues, bringing pain and stress. Your �main� personal identity can become unbalanced if your business identity pushes you too far in a particular direction as well. So, the balancing act for all your identities is constant and can never cease, because you are always being challenged, evolving internally and having to rediscover that balance.

For all the rewards and blessing of a particular identity, there are also the painful burdensome aspects, because an identity is always defined by what it doesn�t know, doesn�t have and can�t do. These lacks create pain. So, essentially, identity is a one-way ticket to guaranteed suffering.

Like the multiple personality disorder victim, we must first acknowledge our multiple identities, and then re-merge our various identities into one. In this way, we become the most that we can possibly be. We can then of course augment our whole identity with a constant influx of Spiritual information. If we can acknowledge that all our identities are fictional, then the easiest thing to do is to add together all our different identities into one with no loss to any of them, to create a new identity that combines all their strengths.

But, this reintegration can also force us to make radical changes in our lives. We may no longer be able to work at a job we hate, continue to associate with abusive and neglectful friends or no longer escape ourselves. We would have to become more proactive in changing our lives and defining ourselves. The reduction of suffering that would come with personal reintegration would be our reward. But even an enhanced �super-identity� will fall back into pieces if we don�t work over time to breath life into it as a new entity within us.

Below is an exercise that explores this idea and puts it into practice.

Warning: if you suffer from depression, anxiety, or any other psychological disorders, please consult a trained therapist or psychologist before using this exercise.

Exercise: Reintegration of Selves

In this exercise, we will be identifying and reintegrating our �manufactured selves� on a temporary basis, to get a feel for what our integrated self feels like, wants and would be if we took the time to recreate it.

First, get comfortable and have a pen and lined paper handy. Visualize a white, featureless space with no walls. In this space create a large circle and see yourself standing in it, while you look down on that self inside the circle from above.

Now, generate a smaller circle for each major area of your life and have each of these circles touch the outside of the larger circle. You could, for example, have a circle for your �job self� and your �relationship self� for your relationship with a specific person. You could have a �hobby self� that pursues certain interests, or even a �depressed self� or self that worries incessantly. Finally, add one more circle inside the main circle, and place an extra self there, which will be your �disowned self.�

Now, start with one of your secondary selves, for example your �work self�, and reintegrate him or her into your main self, by seeing through their eyes, feeling how they feel, and then approaching and merging with the main self in the large central circle.

Now, as you merge together, take note of how you feel. What is different? Write down any new, interesting ideas that come into your head. When you feel satisfied, repeat this process for the other selves, with the �disowned self� reclaimed last. This self is the parts of your earlier identities that had to be forced down into a subconscious level of operation, because they would have conflicted with the demands being placed on you as a person.

If you experience emotional pain, just try to stay present with it and relax. Let emotions flow through you, and accept with love anything you feel as part of this reintegration process. Continue to feel, think and take notes until you feel satisfied that you are temporarily finished.

You can come back to this exercise as a stepping-stone to a more permanent change in identity, which will require daily practice and not giving up over an extended period of time. Remember that identity is based in desire, whether it is habitual desires of thought, feeling or action. Desires that create habits can only be changed by transforming your desires.

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