It's a very strange idea to bat around, that our own identity is a sort of hair clog that stands between our own true being and our highest happiness, and yet it also makes perfect sense. To really understand this situation, we must examine how our identity was originally formed.
Identity is not who we are, but actually a complex idea ABOUT who we are. That idea is put into our heads at a very early age. We are inculcated into this idea by adults who were themselves trained in this idea. Now, an idea in and of itself can be very powerful when held by the human mind, but it is many times more powerful when that mind comes to identify with that identity.
This is what happened to us, and we were taught that we were a "self" that was separate from others. Because of our separateness, we had to be shamed into conformity on many different levels. If we failed to conform, we had to be punished in an effort to correct our "self."
The axis of the belief in the self is the belief in free will. One's separation from other leads to "free will" on our part that leads us to "good" or "bad" behavior. However, the artificial self that is being built up in our mind as a child is actually the true home of shame and the hatred of and judgment of others.
Even more fundamental that this is our separateness from others, which is also an artificial construct. We are taught that we are a soul, some sort of thing that dwells inside of a body, separate and cut off from others. We are also cut off from God/Truth. But neither of these things are actually true.
Although we have bodies, we are completely tied to and dependant on others. In fact, we cannot artificially vivisect reality and pull out our "self" from the world. While death seems to do this, it only changes our level of game play. It doesn't remove us from reality. And as we do not act alone, or with free will, it is artificial to think that we can "act" on the world or that others can remove it from the world.
It is only in those cases where the reactions of others and ourselves work in a particular way to bring about certain events that lead to our death that we can die. No person can kill us as an action, only as a series of reactions. And our reactions are part of that equation also.
The "self" is artificially developed as a sort of handle that allows control of a child by adults. By formulating a lie that intones our "responsibility" and guilt, it leads us to believe this lie that they believe will render us capable of social control. When we misbehave they have already installed the mechanism within us that allows us to be controlled by shame.
By teaching us that we are "alone" we are placed in a very vulnerable and Spiritually disconnected state that can only be remedied by social relationships. As our connection to God/Truth is wiped out by the lie of "self" we have to brace ourselves with friendships and romantic relationships that bolster our "self-esteem" which allows us to continue living despite our infinite black-hole disconnection and despair internally. We brush the problem out of sight and out of mind as much as we can.
The self of the adult becomes the efficient middle manager. He or she is the player of the game who gets the self what it needs through manipulation. It pushes and pulls in various ways. Each person has a different tactic. Some are cruel and pushy, some are selfish and whiney while others are "kind" and "good." But all are equally manipulative.
The collection of "selves" is considered to be a society, when it is in fact a kind of disease, a lie that forms itself into an even greater lie. Although society is uncaring, brutal, judgmental, non-rational, divisive, uncaring of the truth, materialistic, scapegoating and self-destructive on many levels, it is accepted as the highest form of human expression. In fact, it is only an expression of a lie that has remained unquestioned too long.
When we look at society, we sigh and hang our heads because we feel ashamed to be part of this mess, even if we feel proud of some societal accomplishments. But only those "selves" that are the most brutalized and unfeeling can really embrace society with a great passion. And the degree of mental rape that has to occur within them is so vast makes their appreciation barely meaningful in the face of the tremendous suffering they must live with.
Society is in fact not an answer but a vast question mark begging for an answer. The only way to answer that question on a mass scale is for us to answer it within ourselves. We are not selves and do not possess a self. Let me attack this idea on several levels.
First of all, we have the capacity to live in such a way as to be plugged in to the Truth/God at all times. This is not a warm fuzzy lie that we create in our mind but a connection to what is true and real. Like a fetus that is connected to the mother by an umbilical cord, we are both one with and in some ways separate from the Truth.
This Truth/God is where we are all one, and is the highest force of consciousness in existence. It is through this connection that we receive all our happiness, pleasure and fulfillment of desire. It is through our disconnection from this Truth (in our mind) that we suffer in every possible form.
We are one with others in this Truth and we cannot be divided from them in any real way. We have an innate conscience that always operates at a higher level of function and logic than guilt and shame-driven behavior, which can only badly mimic the effects of conscience at best.
Other people do not exist to hurt us. In fact, we are here because we wish to be here and others exist only to help us have what we want. This is true of God/Truth as well, which only exists to fulfill all our desires. Desire fulfillment is our only raison d'etre.
Our true culture is each person pursuing their own fulfillment while simultaneously others help us and we help them through our actions in pursuing our fulfillment. We don't have to seek being helpful as it is simply our only natural function in reality. So, true culture comes entirely from the pursuit of fulfillment and our acknowledgement that we only want to help others, and that it is our natural function.
So what is life like without the self? We actually feel and connect directly to the Truth/God at all times in all that we do. We no longer are burdened by guilt and fear. We pursue our desires with a clear conscience, and have no need or desire to hurt others in the pursuit of our personal fulfillment.
The self as middle-manager is unneeded and unwanted. It simply messes up a perfect relationship between what we really are and God/Truth. We want and what we want is fulfilled. The self only acts to limit our capability to receive what we want from God/Truth by creating manipulation, false beliefs and filters to the truth.
To experience releasing the "self" and replacing it with God/Truth, simply take some time and get into a meditative state. Say quietly to yourself, "I now allow God/Truth (whichever word you are most comfortable with) to replace my self completely, so that I can be who I truly am."
Do this to on the out breath, and meditate on the idea on the in breath. Do this for a total of fifty to one hundred breaths. You will begin to experience the replacement of self with God/Truth. You will experience a kind of peace and certainty that will fill you. You will relax and begin to understand that the self was always an unnecessary burden.
Practice this once per day if possible, for at least a week. During the time of day (or night) that you are most active and interacting with others, enter every new situation with the following, "I allow God/Truth to live my life for me so I can have everything I desire." Do this at least once every two or three hours or so. See if you notice any visible effects in your circumstances, the behavior of others, and in how you feel about your life. Practice this for at least one week. I will write next time on how to use God/Truth commands that allow you to shift consciousness in the best possible ways at all times.
Take me home!