Yet Another Stakeout Author: Kimberly Spoilers: None Category: DRR Humor Rating: PG-13 Summary: Two agents, one car, `nuff said. Archive: XFMU. Just email me to tell me if you archive it elsewhere. Disclaimer: They aren't my characters, but the story is. __________________________________________________________________ "Which house?" John slowly brought the car to a halt as Monica read the address. "Number Eight, West Forest Terrace." "Well, we got the street." He sighed as he looked through the binoculars. "That's a dumb name for a place like this. It's in the middle of suburbia. Nothin' around to even be considered a forest." Monica laughed. This stakeout was pretty pointless, just busy work from the higher-ups. "Okay, Mr. Man, what would you name this street?" "Dullsville. You got coffee?" She pulled a styrofoam cup from a paper bag next to her. "Black. You sure you don't want a shot in it?" This got his attention. "You been holdin' back liquor?" "Ha! Wouldn't you love that? No, Mr. Man, I haven't." "What's with this `Mr. Man' crap? I do somethin'?" Monica shook her head. "No. Frankly, John, this is boring as hell. We're assigned to verify where a guy lives. Give me a break." He leaned against the headrest and sighed. "There's gotta be somethin' to make the time go by fast." "We could talk," Monica suggested, "You know, ask each other questions." "I'll take `truth' for $200, Alex. The answer is because I said so." John turned back to his assigned duty. The last thing he really wanted to get into was anything personal. But, Monica pressed forward. It was the only thing to do stuck out here in, what John had termed, Dullsville. And she had the hope of being more than just a friend. "Truth it is. How many times have you been in love?" He was momentarily speechless. `Love' had not be an option in his life for so long. "Twice. How `bout you?" "Once in love, many many times in a relationship based on lust." She answered truthfully. "Okay, now here's something I've wondered about - " "Oh, God," John sighed and lowered his head, "here it comes!" She poked him playfully, "Shut up! I'm serious." "Then let me put on my serious face." A moment passed. "I'm ready. Proceed, Special Agent." "Why do men look at porn magazines and watch that stuff? It's so juvenile." "You been lookin' in that drawer in the office?" "No, just something I want to know." John passed her the binoculars. "You watch and I'll talk. I supposed men watch porn for the same reason women make `boxers or briefs' bets." Monica gasped as the binoculars fell from her fingers. "What?" John started laughing. "You don't think I know what you and Scully whisper about when I leave the room? Oh and it's not just me. You do the same whisperin' when A.D. Skinner leaves." Monica was completely dumbfounded. She sat with the binoculars between her feet and her mouth hanging open. "Wha...wha...?" "Briefs, by the way." He smirked at the blush that had crept across her face. "I don't watch or look at porn. Don't have to. Got plenty of fantasies runnin' through my head sittin' in this car." Another gasp slipped out before Monica started laughing, almost hysterically. "Oh, God! Oh, there for a minute I thought you were serious!" Tears rolled down her cheeks as she attempted to regain some semblance of control. "Just why do you think I'm not serious?" He shook his head in a sad, sarcastic manner. "That hurts, Monica, that really hurts. Gimme those spy glasses." He reached to snatch them but Monica was faster and held them up and over her right shoulder. "Uh-uh! We've got time to kill and I want to know those fantasies!" She grinned mischievously at her partner. "We know this guy lives at Number Eight Dullsville street. He won't mind if we get distracted." "Don't talk unless you're willin' to play!" Without much thought, John lunged across and latched onto the hand holding the binoculars. "Ah ha!" He smiled widely and looked down to find himself directly over Monica. "Do you think you're getting these that easily?" She tossed them into the backseat. "Now you have to crawl back there!" "What if I stay here?" Monica grinned and raised her eyebrows. "What if you stay here?" "You still interested in knowing my fantasies?" John's voice came across soft and low. All Monica could do was nod in response while her heartbeat increased with each passing moment. "Okay," was whispered before John brushed his lips across Monica's. She brought her hands to his neck and softly pressed him closer to her, enjoying the feel of his mouth and the scent of his skin. She knew one of her fantasies was being fulfilled. "John," Monica finally spoke when he pulled away from her, "is this...?" "Yeah, `cept my fantasy usually doesn't involve a car." "Fantasies are meant to be flexible." She leaned forward to meet his lips again, but screamed before making contact. "What the?" John physically jumped back into the driver's seat as a flashlight shined directly into his eyes. A tap on the window made him roll it down. "Sir? License and registration, please." John's eyes widened as he retrieved the items and handed them to the officer. The flashlight beam landed on Monica's lowered head. "Ma'am?" The officer's prompt led her to turn towards him. "Mr. Doggett, we've got ordinances regarding indecent exposure and we try to keep on top of things so they don't get outta hand." "I understand officer." With sweaty palms, John took back his papers. "You two had any drinks tonight?" The light again hit John's eyes. "No, sir." "Ma'am?" Monica winced into the light. "No, your honor." "Okay, you kids find a nice place indoors. We've got clean motels downtown. I won't give you a citation if you promise this won't happen again." Monica only nodded while John nervously agreed. "Yes, sir. Thank you, sir." He rolled up the window and watched the officer wave as he drove past. "Oh dear God," were the first words Monica spoke. He started the engine and then, "`Yes, your honor'? You called a police officer `your honor'?" "I couldn't think." Her head was buried in her hands. "That was embarrassing. Utterly humiliating." John could not help but smile. "Guess the stakeout's over. Where now?" He turned to face Monica, who was smirking. "Well, there are some clean motels downtown. I've got cash." It was John's turn to smirk as he drove down the street. "You know, we really should discuss our report for this assignment." "We've got to collaborate. Make sure everything makes sense." He nodded. "Nice quiet motel should work." Monica stared straight ahead with a grin. "I've only got enough for one room. Which means one bed." John floored the accelerator to the downtown district.