Title: Three Words
Author: Angel Eyes
Author's e-mail: liverpool_angel@hotmail.com
Rating: RST
Summary: John and Monica were together for a while,
but grown apart. Very apart. How do they get back
to where they were?
Spoilers: Everything...or nothing.
Author's note: I do *NOT* own these two peeps,
just experimenting with them a little. Poor guys! =)



He reached for another file, another case to open. He'd been

sittin' there for hours. Reading sentence after sentence.

Only to wait for her to arrive. She didn't know. He needed her

badly. It had gone one year now. One year since they took the

first step. The first step out in the open. First step to the

reality they both had dreamed of. But, they had moved so slow.

So slow that they'd growned apart. They didn't speak. Didn't

look. Didn't think.



Whatever she might say about him. Think about him. Feel about

him. He knew that somehow she needed him as badly as he needed

her. He hadn't been thinkin'. Not thinkin' about them. Not about

her. At all. But, time had changed and he'd realized that he

loned for her. Nothin' more than that. He couldn't live like this.

Live without feelings. Live without love. Live without her. Live

without life.


She walked into the office and met his eyes. His iceblue eyes.

"Monica..." He looked up at her. She turned her face towards

her own desk and gave him a sence of angerness. She didn't want

him. Or his life. Or his dreams.

"Monica..." He said again. She turned around and looked in his

eyes. But not in that way she used to do. He felt a shivering

on his neck. This was what coldness was like. He never felt it

before. Never.

"What?" Her voice clearly said. What? What? What? This wasn't real.

Wasn't true. Wasn't at all.

"How are you, Monica?" He felt his stupidness echo in the room.

She thought for a while. Or did she? He tried to read her mind by

looking for emotions in her face. He failed.

"I'm good. How are you?" This wasn't her. The words came out with

no meaning. No deepness. He nodded. Good. He was good. Or at least

okay.

"Look, Monica..." She turned once again at him and faced him with

her darkbrown eyes.

"What is it?" He felt her words cut through him like knifes. What

was it? He didn't really know.

"I've been thinkin'. About us. About this." Once again he felt his

stupidness.

"What about us?" Her eyes started to clear up. Clear up from anger.

From sadness. From despite. From lonelyness.


So, she had thought about them. About their situation.

"This isn't workin', Monica. You know it. I feel terrible." He met her

nodding eyes.

"I know..." She turned around to sit down at her desk. She knew. She

knew exactly what he meant. She had stop countin' all those lonely

nights. All those crying moments of her life that she needed to share

with someone else.

"We have to figure things out, Monica."

"Yeah..."

"Do you want this?"

"No..."

"What do you want?" He had to ask. He knew what he wanted. He wanted

it to work out between them. Things needed to be fixed. Needed to be

built up again. Like his heart.

She didn't answer. No answer.

"Monica..." His voice had that sence of deepness that made him seem so

masculine. So extremely strong. So unable to love.

"I want things back..." Her eyes shifted back to its normal deepness.

Back. Back. Back. Like they were before? Or even before that?

"I want us to...start over..." Her eyes was now filled up with deep

tears. Tears. He'd seen her cry before. But that was long ago.  Long

before they ever knew that this moment was coming. He nodded.

"But, I dunno how, John."

"Me niether. But..."

"But what?" She had started to come back to him. Her voice had grown over

to a more friendly tone. Friendly. Friends. No, he wanted more.

"But, I need you."

"You never needed me."

He was shocked. Startled. Worried. Never? Was this his fault?

"I've always needed you."

She met his eyes again. Those iceblue eyes. But, iceblue? No, they

were more blue when she thought about it. Blue like a good summerday

sky. Blue like water. Safe water.

"I need you." Her voice replied in his mind. Need. Need. Need.

He walked up and over to her. She stood behind her desk with her right

hand on her chair. He reached out and took her hand in his.

"Then, let's fix this."

She nodded. But, fix was a simple word with a lot of meaning. A lot of

content. A lot of trouble.

She looked in his eyes. Deeply. His eyes showed more emotions than she'd

ever seen before. Emotions for her to share. To read. To know. To speak.

"How?"

How...the question that always came up. How?

"We'll find out." He drew his hand through her hair. Her brown hair.

Somehow she made him feel weak. She was so beautiful. So sensual. So

Intelligent. So Amazing. He couldn't think of another woman that was

like her.


She held his hand harder. With the sence of comfort. Or relief. He

didn't know. Somehow he felt like knowing what time it was. How long

they had been standing there. Quiet. It started to get dark outside.

"Can I drive you home?"

She nodded. Of course he could. Why not? He pulled her closer to him

and hugged her gently. He felt her tears on the side of his neck.

"It's gonna be okay..." Yeah. He was sure. Of course he was sure. More

sure than ever. He felt her nodd. Good sign.


Once out in the car he turned to her. She was quiet. But, quiet in a

way that seemed to fit him. She looked at him. Her darkbrown eyes

searched for answers in him. He had none.


He started the engine and drove her carefully home. Her street was

always so quiet. He liked it here. The quietness made him able to

think. Once outside of her house he stopped the car.

"Thanks."

"No prob."

She took his hand gently. He looked at her. She had come back to him.

She smiled. He loved that. Not only the smile on her lips, but the

smile in her eyes. He knew now. Knew that he wasn't gonna let her go.

He bended over and kissed gently her lips. She responded quickly. With

both relief and passion. Passion. He'd never felt her passion before.

Never.

The kiss ended.

"Wanna come up for a beer?"

He nodded. What else could he do? He felt so much for her right now. So

much feelings that he didn't know that he had.

She opened her door and got out. He followed her up the stairs to her door,

but stopped her before she took up her keys.


He wanted so much, but not too fast. He didn't wanna lose her again. Not

again. He pulled her once again closer to him and held her tightly. And

gently. With comfort. Relief. Pain. Happiness. Sadness. Careness.

"Welcome back." His words made her smile.

"You too..."

They smiled and she opened the door. He walked in close to her. Close.

Close. Close.


He sat down in her big sofa. Waited for her to come. To arrive. She sat

down and gave him one can of beer. He smiled. He liked her way of doing

things. Like drinking beer. He'd never met a woman who prefered beer

before wine. Never.

He met her eyes.

"I'm sorry..." She said. This time her voice had the sence of meaning in

it. He felt as she told him so much with just one word. Sorry. He was too.

He was so sorry, she had no idea.

"Me too." His words came out with the same deepness. She felt it. It made her

close her eyes. He saw the tears run down her cheeks.

"Oh, Monica..." He moved closer to her and took her beer and put it on the table.

Along with his.

"Monica...I never meant to hurt you..." He met her eyes and felt the sadness cut

through him. Pain. He'd never wanted to put her in pain. Never.

She moved closer to lay her head in comfort on his cheast. He put his arms around

her, for her to understand his comfort.

"Me niether..." Her voice quietly whispered. He closed his eyes and felt her slowly

fall asleep in his arms. He had brought her back. This time he was not going to

lose her again. For sure.

Whatever that had happened to them in the past, this was a good start. They still had

things to work out, but that had to come with time.

He felt her warmness as she moved in his arms. She looked up at him and smiled a

little. Smile. Long time ago she used to smile very often. He hope that he still

was able to make her do that.



She moved back in the sofa, so she could look at him. He'd been there for almost one

hour. Just holding her while she rested in his arms. She smiled once again, even her

eyes. He loved that.

"Wanna catch a movie?" He smiled back at her.

"Yeah...you pick one, I'll go get some more beer and something to eat. Okay?"

He nodded. He loved this. He knew that they couldn't just jump back to a straight

away romance. They had to build it up again.

He picked a comedy. Good start.

She cuddled up next to him. His arm was wrapped around her shoulders and her hand was

resting in his other hand. As soon as the movie had started she felt so securied. He

was so strong. So masculine. But, yet he had so many feelings. So much she wanted to

share with him.

He bended down and kissed gently her forehead. As soon as he had bent back she leaned

up against him and touched his lips with hers. This time with as much passion as she

had. At first he was a bit shocked. But after a few seconds he got in to the kiss and

pressed her up against him with his arms tightly wrapped around her. He could feel

his heartbeat raise. So fast. She let go of his lips and he kissed her down her neck.

She breathe hard against him and looked into his eyes. No, they were iceblue. She

was positive. Absolutly sure.

She sat down next to him again and just looked at him. And he at her. They were back.

Started over. Begun. Begun. Begun. All over. Back. Back. Back.