Title: Tear Drops 

By: Megs 

Rating: PG-15 

Category: DRR Angst 

Summary: What was Monica thinking about before John 
comes up and hugs her? And what happened after the 
hug? Follows "Opening Up" also on this archive. 

Archive: Yes 

Feedback: hobbit_kisser@hotmail.com 

Notes: See End. 

Spoilers: "Release" 

Recommended Listening: "Remind Me" by Nickelback, 
as always.

***

I try not to pity him. 

I know John wouldn't want me to pity him. I know John 
wouldn't want anyone's pity. But I can't help the 
thoughts that are running through the back of my head. 

I feel bad for John. And Barbara. 

They had to suffer through losing a child. I didn't 
know what that felt like, but I could imagine. 

Who out there could be sick enough to murder a poor, 
innocent child? 

I feel tears welling in my eyes, a lump forming in 
my throat. 

Why am I crying? 

I see John start walking up to me, and my thoughts 
are interrupted. All that matters now is his comfort. 
I see he's been crying, and I know he's going to cry 
some more. 

Good. 

We automatically join together in a hug. We are 
completely in tune. 

I feel his tears in my hair, on my neck and cheeks. 

I squeeze him closer and we pull away. 

I look at him. Looking into those eyes, I feel the 
tears again, and I feel guilty. I should be 
comforting him. 

I try to hold them back and look up at him. 

He cups my face and wipes the tears away with his 
thumbs. 

And I lean in closer, giving him a small kiss. 

I can feel his pulse quicken. I can feel mine. 

This was so much more to me than a small kiss for 
comfort. This was true love's first kiss. Soft, 
gentle and timid. But John probably thought I was 
just being a good friend. Friends show compassion 
by affectionate. Hugs…kisses are affectionate. 

I try to stop thinking of John's and mine 
relationship and focus on what has just happened 
to this man. 

"I'm sorry, John." I whisper. And he wraps me into 
a hug again, and I can still feel his tear drops 
running through my hair, down my cheeks and on my 
neck.

***

I can't help it! "Release" has inspired me. It was 
truly beautiful. I think I'll write two more fics 
in this little series. Call it the "Post Release" 
series, or something like that. The next ones will 
probably be Scully's take, and Doggett's take. 

Feedback, please!