Question Not Author: Kimberly Rating: PG-13 for adult themes (don't you love that phrase? lol) Spoilers: Audrey Pauley Category: Post-Ep, DRR, Doggett POV Archive: XFMU, The Vision. Please archive wherever else you think it'll fit. Just drop me a note and attach my name! :) Summary: Take the road less traveled. Disclaimer: Doggett, Reyes, and XF are all owned by Chris Carter, not me. I just get to play with ‘em without makin' money. Best non-paying job I've ever had! _______________________________________________________ I always wondered what happened to Audrey Pauley's body. Did some obscure family member claim it or has she been buried in a place like Potter's Field and given a number on a wooden cross that will serve as a reminder that no one remembered her? But, I will not forget her. How could anyone forget the person who pushed your life in the right direction? Standing outside of Monica's flat, a sad sense of deja vu sweeps over me as I realize the ‘moment' has passed. If I had acted on impulse, guilt would have followed. There would have been feelings that I took advantage of Monica's lingering weakness. So, I watch her glide up the steps and through the door. Monica has always glided as she walked. She has a stealth-like quality about her that increases her mysterious beauty. I want to protect her, shield her from all the dangers she will encounter. But, I also respect her. Monica is my partner, my friend. I think she may be my soul mate, or close to it. My first soul mate was shattered. I had failed to protect her and I vowed failure would not happen again. Right now, sitting in my truck outside of her place, my mind replays those last "Good-bye"s and the second-guessing begins. Maybe I should have followed her inside. Monica always acts tough, but what if she's in pain and needs something? If I approach her door now, would it seem like a cry for forgiveness? She told me that I am a dog-person because I am dependable. She said she could never see me disappointing anyone. Not true. I disappointed myself. I love her. Audrey called me on it so I might as well admit it to myself. "I love her!" My fist pounds the dashboard as I speak. The verbal exclamation is surprising at first. "I love her." Can I say it again without faltering? "I love her." In the side mirror I can see the grin that has crept across my face. It has been so long, so very long since I freely admitted my love. To find one woman who so completely fills your life with joy is a gift, to find a second one must be a miracle. Though it is not a new feeling, it scares the hell out of me. A glance at her windows shows that she has turned on more lights. I tell myself she needs her rest. She should be allowed to relax. Yeah, she gets to relax while I agonize over decisions. In a matter of seconds, I am out of the truck and up the steps knocking on her door. I am not letting another chance slip by. "Hi, John." Monica smiles that beautiful grin while she opens the door to let me in. Her jacket and shoes are off and I cannot help thinking this is so right. "I wanted to make sure you're gonna be okay." She arches an eyebrow at me. "Yeah, I'm going to be fine. You heard the doctors. With a little rest -" I pull her toward me suddenly and kick closed the open door. Her words halt as my mouth meets hers. Already, my mind is racing to memorize the shape of her mouth out of the fear that this may be a dream. "God I love you, Monica." Her eyes are sparkling as I brake our embrace. She traces my lips with her finger. "I know. I'm glad you said it." Monica embraces me in a hug that seems just as passionate as our kiss. "I love you, too." "You need your rest." I speak softly in her ear. "No, John, don't leave." In response, I gently sweep her off the floor and into my arms. "Didn't say I was leaving," my tone of voice is low, "just said you need your rest." "What did you have in mind?" Monica is watching me intently, but she has a devilish smirk on her mouth. That smirk tells me all I need to know. I carry her to the bedroom, pull aside the definitively feminine comforter, and gently lay her on the sheets. I sit beside her and lean across her, covering every inch of her neck in kisses. Her skin tastes sweet on my mouth. I realize how long I have wanted this and how I almost lost it. "John," Monica softly whispers in my ear. Her hands are gently pushing me back. Maybe I have gone too far, I think. In a reassuring move, she begins unbuttoning my shirt and I do the same to her. Monica runs a hand over my exposed skin, but all I want to do is kiss hers. She lets out a quiet moan and I cannot help but smile as a similar sensation begins to course through my own body. "Okay?" I ask quietly. Monica has been through hell and back. The last thing I want to do is hurt her. "Perfect," is the reply as she runs her hands through my hair. "You'll tell me if you want me to stop?" There is a pause so I lift my head from its exploration to look into Monica's eyes. "Never." I lift her off the bed and hold her against me. The feel of her body on mine lets me know that this decision will not be agonized over. Monica kisses my neck and we both lay back down to experience a moment without regrets. Thank you, Audrey. _______________________________________________________ Feedback is always welcomed!