Title: New Beginnings Author: Warm Fuzzies Rating: NC-17 Spoilers: Absolutely nothing of season 9 happened after Audrey Pauley. Keywords: DRR, Post-colonization Summary: In the last couple of days, I've lived through a systematic decimation of the earth, almost losing the man I love... twice... and have been reaffirmed in my life. In the midst of all the pain, death and loss, I'm seeing something foreign. It's so out of place in this world now that it's painful to look at, but it's a pain I'm willing to suffer. I'm seeing joy. Hope. Love. Faith. Disclaimer: You see, if these characters were actually mine, I would have much more fun than I'm having right now. Any names you recognize belong to somebody else and all the ones you don't belong to me. Author's notes: This is turning into something other than I imagined. I don't know where it's coming from, and I hope that it doesn't just quit on me, but I'll write until it does. A lot of this is illogical in how the history is supposed to go, and I'll admit that I don't go into a lot of the detail that I could, but if you keep an open mind... I think that it flows pretty well. Keep in mind that it switches from Doggett's POV to Reyes' POV systematically. I hope you enjoy it... enough to send me feed back. warm_fuzzies_28@hotmail.com Part TWO of NEW BEGINNINGS Insane wouldn't cover it. Tiring might, but that would only be my state of mind. We've all become a little maniacal in the last couple of days, but it's all justified. After meeting everyone at Scully's two nights ago, we were given tasks to perform. Everything done would be for the benefit of the retreat. Mulder explained the layout of the camp and all its ammenities, if you call them that, and everything that he had there. He emphasized what he needed more of and that money wasn't an issue. Here he handed us all credit cards under his name and sent us away. The last couple of hours were given as a rest before we would head out. Everyone who had money spent it. And everyone who had family said good bye. That hurt. More than anyone will ever know. I would rather have had my last good bye to my parents have been simple, but I ended up not even telling them anything, except that I would be out of town for a while. They took that with the normal amount of aplomb, not suspecting anything and I had to tell them I loved them and hang up before I burst out crying and got them all confused. I cried in John's arms for half an hour before I pulled myself together and got back to packing. It was going to be cold in the winters where we were going, so I packed everything I owned, leaving nothing behind. I think that subconsciously I just wanted my past with me. Pictures were packed while paintings were left hanging. Blankets, sheets, comforters and, thanks to John's quick thinking at the store, a high quality duvet for our bed. Yes. Our bed. An hour and a half before we were to meet over at Scully's, I was done packing. John had gone to his house to finish settling his things a few hours before, and now I waited. I sighed, realizing how horribly empty my apartment was without his presence. Any minute now, and he'll come waltzing in that door. I pulled out some more empty boxes from my closet, remnants of moving and folded them, thinking that they could be useful once we get to the retreat. The soft pad of feet on the hardwood floor brought my attention to the bedroom door and John appeared from around the corner. Freshly pressed and smelling good. He'd washed and shaved and changed his clothes, something he hadn't done since yesterday because we'd all been too frantic in our work to notice. I could see in his eyes that he was tired. Heavy lines that hadn't been there three days ago, wandered aimlessly around his darkened eyes, making him look older. His shoulders weren't held in their normal military straightness anymore either. He must have shed his coat at the front door, cause all he was wearing was his gray t-shirt and jeans, not that I'm complaining, and thick wool socks. His comfort clothes. And heaven knows, we need as much comfort as possible right now. I held out my hand to him and he came and sat down next to me on the bed, a sigh escaping his lips as he settled. "You all ready?" he asked softly, taking in the stacked boxes and stuffed bags. "All my stuff's still in the Jimmy." Given both John's and mine inclination towards heavy UV's we'd left one with Mulder and Scully and the Gunmen were assigned to go out and get a heavy duty Ram, or equivalent to use. Skinner was assigned to get a smaller, more gas efficient vehicle that could handle the mountain terrain and the cold winters. Never let it be said that Mulder didn't plan ahead. We'd gotten food and gas and clothes, some frivolous items to make our day brighter and batteries, both for the cars and smaller. I was starting to wonder where all this money was coming from, but in the end I know that I didn't really care, as long as we were safe. "Hey? You OK?" he took my hand and gave me a little squeeze. I smiled at him and nodded. As much as it hurt, and still hurts, to have to say goodbye to my parents, I knew that this was really our only option. I nodded again, resolutely and stood up, grabbing some of my bags and hauling them to the front door. John followed carrying two of the boxes and set them down next to the door. He looked at his watch and then at me. "It's only 6. We've still got an hour and a half till we have to be there. What d'you wanna do?" "Come sit with me." Without hesitation he followed me to the couch and sat behind me, pulling me back to rest against his chest. There really anything that I wanted to do or finish before we headed out. Even though I knew that I might never be back here, it had never really become my home in the few months that I'd been here. I was sorry that John had to leave his house, though. He really did like it, even if it had been empty for the last couple of years. "Are you goin' to miss it?" he asked me softly, running a hand down my arm to mesh with my fingers. I smiled. "What? The long days at work or the empty apartment to come home to?" He hummed in agreement, then restated his question. "Are you goin' to miss the city? The freedom to go out on the town if you wanted? All the things that the city provides?" I paused for a moment, thinking. And then I sigh "I don't know. I never was one for the singles scene, as you well know, so losing that won't be too much of a loss, but I think I might miss the protection that the big city provides." There is silence behind me, and not for the first time, I wonder what he's thinking about all of this. "John, are you ok? What with picking up and leaving and all?" His hand squeezes mine for a mere moment, but it's enough. He's not ok with it, but he knows that there really isn't any other option. He'll work it out. "My mind just doesn't work like this, you know? I can't process all this crap without something visual for me to step on. It's so confusing." He shifts behind me and I settle again, now facing the bare wall across from me. It looked like that barely four months ago. "But it's coming together. Slowly." He sighs. "I'll get it in time." Dear God, I think earnestly, thank you for sending this man into my life. He might not know it, but his strength is giving me something to go on. "I know you will." We settle in silence again, just basking in each other's presence. Finally we have to move all my stuff down into his Jimmy and my apartment is back to its empty beginnings. And then it's time to leave. ****************** We pull up to Scully's apartment building and take in the cars sitting there. Monica's new UV, the Dodge and Skinner's acquisition, a Toyota Rav4. All are loaded to the brim and weighed down with all the buying that had occurred in the last couple of days. "They're all here." He comments, as he steps out of the car. Just Mulder steps out of the building with a smaller box, carrying it with ease. "Hey, guys," he chirps, seemingly a little too happy with the current situation. But then again it's only been two days since he came back and saw Scully and William, I'm sure he's still riding that particular high. "You don't happen to have room for this, do you?" I look back, assessing the fullness of the Jimmy. I shrug. "Don't see why not." I take it from Mulder and I'm a little by the weight of it. "Hell, Mulder, what d'ya got in here?" "Just some miscellaneous stuff for all of us. Nothing in particular." He sounds sincere, but I don't think that he's being entirely honest with the contents of that box. I mentally slap myself, I will not question this man. Scully trusts him and I trust Scully. That makes him all clear in my book. "I can stuff it somewhere in here if you want?" He points to Monica's car, and I can clearly see that there is no way he's getting even this box in there. "Nah, we got it," Monica says before I can say anything. As I place the box in the back, I look at Monica, who is watching Mulder with interest. She's thinking of something. I guess I'll have to wait until we're on the road to get it out of her. We head up the stairs and meet everyone in the apartment. We all sit in a circle. The ratio of men to women is a little unbalanced, 6 to 2, not including William. I look at the little tyke, resting calmly in his mother's arms, sucking on his fist. I've noticed that his eyes taking in more and more, lately, flicking over rooms and empty areas as if he's seeing something that no one else can. I remember the story that Monica had told me of the spinning piece of space craft that he controlled over his head in the crib. I wonder what other surprises we'll be in for when he begins to walk and all that. Even with everything that's special about him, we're all gonna love him. We already do. Monica taps my shoulder and I'm drawn back from my thoughts into the middle of the instructions. "Each car'll get a four-way radio to use with each other. Cell phones might not work after a while, so we'll stick with these." Mulder holds up some hand helds, passing on to Skinner, Byers and myself. "However, even at the maximum use, they'll only reach a little over three miles, so we'll have to be careful not to drive out of sight of each other. Also," He pulls out a pack and hands these to separate people, I'm guessing the ones that'll be driving with each other. I'm a little surprised to see Frohicke accepting as Skinner's drive partner. That'll prove interesting. Two more different people I have never met. Mulder continues. "These are in case of emergencies, if we do get separated. They're maps and directions, showing significant iron deposits that you can hide in if some of these... things..." he drudges up disgustedly, "come after you." He sighs and sits down on the arm of the chair that Scully is residing in. "I think that that is all. I'm sure that while we're on the road, I'll think of something." Scully shifted the now sleeping William so that he doesn't require two arms and pulls Mulder's hand into hers. "Our final destination is a little south-west of Edmonton, Alberta, so what we'll do is get some more food and so on there. If there's still something there." Heavy sighs fill the room at the reality of what he's saying. This is colonization. Now it's time to part company and hit the road. I watch as Monica wearily climbs into the Jimmy next to me. I had told her that I would take first shift of driving so that she could sleep. I didn't mention that it looked like she could really use it. I'm not to sure if she would appreciate that kind of comment. The first four hours of driving were very boring. I was smart enough to remember my CD's for the car, so I'd had something to make me concentrate on the road and not Monica sleeping peacefully beside me. We all cruised along at 62 or 63 miles, weaving in and out of the traffic, which wasn't really significant. Given that it was... Saturday? Really? After we hit Cincinatti for lunch, Monica took her turn at the wheel. She suggested that I get some sleep, and I was tempted to ask her if it looked like I needed it. I wonder if she would have answered, just to make me laugh. I know I look like shit at the moment. ****************** I think he's egging me on, but I don't think that I'll fall for it right now. We hit the inner interior of the States, filled with plains and corn fields, only recently planted, and kept on going. I sit back and watch the way go by for an hour and then John wakes up, stretching his frame in the uncomfortable seat. "Beds are so much nicer." He mumbles, rubbing his eye and smiling sleepily at me. "Seen anything interesting?" He's asking me if I've seen any space ship or anything along those lines, but I'm a little off balance to think that he thought I wouldn't have woken him up if I had. I am tempted to note to him the total lack of other traffic. I haven't seen a car since we left the outskirts of Cincinatti. Whatever. "Besides dirt, dirt, more dirt and the occasional tree?" I smile and roll my head on my neck. I hate sitting this long. John always was the one to drive. Out of the corner of my eye I see him reach over and lay a warm hand on my neck, slowly squeezing and rubbing the muscles there. It feels fantastic and I release a little moan of gratitude. He stays there for a moment, massaging, and then he looks at me and I think that he's going to ask me a serious question. "Have you noticed anything strange about Mulder?" To anyone listening from the outside, that question would make them think that he doesn't trust Mulder, but he does, or he wouldn't be here. So I'm wondering what he's thinking. "Like?" "Like that box this morning? It was heavy, and he was handling it like it was nothing." I'm tempted to make a joke, but then realize that this is something he's seriously thinking about. Then again, so was I. "Yeah, that was a little startling. Maybe he's been working out?" But even I know that that wouldn't account for that. "I don't know. He's been the normal Mulder otherwise, don't you think?" "Yeah. Yeah, he has." I can almost see John slip back into contemplative mood. Just then the radio squawks to life. "You guys still alive back there?" It's Mulder, in the lead, and we can't even really see him anymore. "It looks like there's a traffic jam coming in to town here... do you see any cars behind you?" John turns in the seat only to realize that he can't see out the back window and then glances out the side rear view. "Nothing, Mulder." He looks at me for a moment and the turns back to the hand held. "What kind of traffic jam?" "Accident of some sort." The radio clicks silently and then he's back. "Big accident... this is strange." Suddenly Skinner is speaking into the conversation. "Can we get around it? Or through it?" Silence reigns for a couple of moments and when I look now, I can see the other three vehicles by the side of the road and the dense mass of cars near the middle of the road and the odd scattered one to the side of the road. None of them seemed to have made any contact with any of the other vehicles and I'm pretty sure that if I tried one, it would start, no problem. Where were all the drivers? "What the hell?" I pull up behind the Rav4 and see Skinner following Mulder off into the field, where there's a small silver car smoking, but still trying to get out of the mud. John is immediately following them. "Be careful," I call, knowing that he will be, but also knowing that he's going to do anything physically possible to help whoever's there. I walk over to Scully, William and the Gunmen and watch the men try to get to the car, which keeps slipping and sliding radically while staying in its spot. I can hear them, over the turning of the wheels, telling the driver that they were there to help. "Stop gunning it, sir!" "Sir, we'll pull you out if you stop trying." "Sir!" All of a sudden, he stops. So do the other men. And three seconds later, the rest of us freeze. The temperature just rose a good 20 degrees. And just knowing, from the shock that runs down my spine, that something is going to happen, I scream. "John!" ********************** It's so fucking hot. Too hot. And everything is frozen in place. The shimmering shield that just passed through us leaves us isolated in a small circle, distorting any view of outside. But I don't want to see outside. I want to look up. "Oh my god, not again..." Mulder releases a groan of pure agony and he's looking up at the same time. "I'm not going to let you do this, you hear me? You bastards stole enough of my life that I'm not going to let you do this again!" I'm still hypnotised by the circle of light that is slowly making its way to the car, and instinctively I know that if that circle were to get there, something was going to happen. Something bad. But Mulder somehow seems to be able to move with alarming speed in a space that is frozen. He reaches to the car and pulls the man out of his seat through the open window. Just like that. Like the man was no more than a pillow. I should be shocked, but for some reason, given that he's the only one that can move right now... it kind of seems fitting that he should be able to haul someone around like that. Both Skinner and I are still staring at the bright light, and though I seriously want to get out of here, I can't seem to move. I'm intensely aware of the lack of distance I am making between me and the search light that is seeking out the car. And soon me and Skinner, I'm absolutely positive. Havetoleave... havetoleave havetoleavehavetoleave Nothing. Not even a twitch. I'm scared now, but even that isn't spurring me into any action. Monica Monicamonicamonica Mulder has disappeared behind me I know, but I'm not sure for how long now and then I feel a strong tug on my jacket and I'm being dragged backwards and out of the distortion ring. And even as I'm pulled out, I can't take my eyes off the bright circle that envelopes the car and blinds me. And after such and intense white light, I black out. ********************** I'm hysterical. I know it. but I have reason to go insane. So does Scully. But she's still as a stone. Whoever thought that hell would look like the empty patch of muddy dirt that John Doggett had just stood in? Briefly, in a small moment of clarity, I can hear William's piercing wail in the background and all three of the Gunmen cursing and fumbling to comfort all three of us at once. Get a hold of yourself, woman... It was an odd sensation, seeing the car still there, but the four people surrounding it had just... vanished. Skinner had been the last to disappear, and not before he had turned around with a horrified look in his eyes. I can still see it... I close my eyes and blink, hoping beyond reason that when I open them they'll be standing there, still trying to help the man in the car. I keep them closed. I can't stand the thought of opening them and seeing that there is still no one there... that John's still vanished. "Mulder..." It's a small whisper of desperation out of the woman beside me. The first sign that she has indeed witnessed the same thing I did. Damn it, not again. Not again, please? I don't know how long I stand there with my eyes closed, but they snap open when I hear a grunt of effort from in front of me. Mulder. He's back, and he's holding the man from the car. With an unnatural ease he hauls the man over to the Dodge and unceremoniously dumps him onto the cement. He's unconscious. "Put him in and get ready to go..." and then he's heading back towards the car. Like it was nothing to him, he disappears back into the invisible ring. "Mulder!" Scully screams and lurches forward, trying to get to him. Both Langley and Frohicke have to hold her back. "Scully! Wait! He came out once, he'll come out again..." Langley urges, pulling her back to my UV at the front of the line. "Get the car started, he's going to want to leave." He casts a sorry glance at the wailing William in the back seat and then moves again to help Byers and Frokicke get the stranger in the back seat of the truck. I've been rooted to the spot and only move once Byers has shoved me back to the Jimmy. "Get it started Monica, we've got to get ready to go." And he's back into the Dodge, moving swiftly past Frohicke who's started the Rav4. "Go!" And then Mulder comes out again, dragging both John and Skinner across the muddy field towards the highway. He's almost jogging. I reach over and open the passenger door as he moves to me and he literally throws an unconscious John into the car, slamming it shut as he then pulls the hulking mass of our former superior to the car in front of us. "GO!" he screams at me and I can hear it clearly though all the windows and doors are closed. On instinct I plant my foot on the gas and floor it, feeling the powerful engine of the UV tear up the shoulder gravel and take off, followed closely by the rest of the group. What the HELL???? But I drive like a demon, not wanting whatever the hell that was to catch up to us again. I can't lose John again. What the HELL?! Only Mulder can tell me what just happened back there. I'm sure that if John woke up right now, he wouldn't be able to tell me anything. Or at least to any understanding of 'their' actions. We blast through the next town, not even slowing to see the lack of movement or sound coming from a town this size. All the cars seems to be off the road, though, which I find odd, in the least. Several have doors open and some of the phones in phone booths are off of the hook, as if left, mid-call. It's the first town we've passed that showed signs of visits from 'them'. Odd, I think, dully, I would have thought blood and gore, screaming children and men and frantic looters, running up and down the streets. Instead, I get nothing. Silence. This is not how I would have imagined colonization. If I had thought about it at all. Deafening silence. We leave the town and I force myself not to think on it. It would drive me insane. I drum my fingers on the wheel, the dull background hum of the engine wearing at me. I glance at the hunched form of John, breathing softly in the passenger seat and I settle mentally for a moment. I know that there was no way that I could have stopped that, so I have to accept that it did happen and that now he's back with me. But it was too fucking close. As I'm musing over the close call, I see the glint of the sun off of a window in the distance. Another group of cars? That can really only mean one thing. I tap the brakes to warn the car behind me and then slow a little, picking up the radio. "Hey, guys, it looks like there're more cars up here..." There's a little bit of static and then Mulder speaks. "Fine, slow down a little, Monica and I'll take over the lead." Within moments he's in front of me, and he keeps pace until we're next to the new site. We're 20 miles from the last one, but looking the same. All the cars seem to be tangled together, in no semblance of order, except for a couple in the middle, who seem to have actual damage to them. Some of it's pretty serious too. And there's still someone in one of them. Mulder slams on the brakes. And hops out. Damn it, not again. Fortunately, both John and Skinner are still unconscious, so they won't be pulling their disappearing act. I'm reluctant to leave him lying in the seat like that, but my curiosity and desire to help are to strong and I'm walking towards Mulder with a determined look in my eyes. I look at the car with the passenger still in it and see that it's a middle aged woman, struggling to tear the handle off of her car door, desperate to get out. And maybe even away from us. "Hello!?" he calls, and I see the woman in the car turned frightened eyes towards us. Mulder jumps over a completely totalled motorbike and walks slowly to the car with his hands out in a safe posture. "Ma'am, I'm not here to hurt you, alright? My name is Fox Mulder and I'm going to try and get you out of that car. Is that okay?" his voice is soothing and I can hear his year of psychology training coming into a calming effect. Her frantic movements slow and she nods, slightly. Now I finally get a chance to take a real look at the car and it's a mess. I'm amazed that she's still alive, much less not bleeding. How did 'they' miss her? Either way, I'm not sure how Mulder thinks he'll be getting her out of that car anytime soon. But then again, he did haul both John and Skinner over to the cars. I wonder what else he's got up his sleeves. I'm pretty sure that he won't be able to tear metal though. For that woman's sake, I hope that I'm wrong. And I am, in a way. I think that Mulder's become Superman with the way that he's doing things lately. He doesn't tear the door in half, he just rips it off of the hinges. "Mulder! What the hell!?" I can't help myself. He could have told us that something was up. Instead he's shocking the hell out of us and making us doubt his sincerity. "You better explain this..." He apologizes with his eyes as he helps the woman out of the car, steadying her. "Not now, Monica, we don't have the time. I swear on Scully's life that as soon as we get north, I'll answer anything you want to know." I'm hesitant to except this, but then I think of the oath, and I nod. I point a finger at him accusingly. "I'll be thinking all the way there, so you better be ready." He smiles obligingly and then catches the woman as she faints dead away. He picks her up with absolutely no difficulty and takes her over to the line of cars. "Who's got room?" *********************** When I come to, the first thing that I'm aware of is that I'm back in the Jimmy and Monica is beside me, driving with one hand and holding mine with the other. I'm alive. She looks over at me and our eyes connect, hers filling with unshed tears. "Hey..." she mumbles softly, smiling and ignoring the one tear that does trail down her cheek. "Hey, yourself." I sigh, reaching out and wiping the tear away with my thumb. I lean in and give her a kiss on the cheek, just for good measure. "Where're we?" seeing the dull shine of stars through the tinted glass and the glare of the headlights behind us, reflected into my face through the side mirror, I idly wonder what time it is. "Just west of Chicago." She's quiet. That'll be the last big American city that we have to pass by. I wonder what that would have been like to see... Why does the dark always make people whisper? "It's a little after 11." I'm a little shocked at the time. I was out for almost 5 hours. She glances into the back seat and my eyes follow hers. Well, hello. "Who's that?" I pause, "and where'd she come from?" "Her name's Bethany Michaels. We ran across her about 20 miles from where you..." she stops, or catches herself for a moment and then continues. "It was another mess like the first one, but she was still in her car in the middle of it. it was... weird." "I'll bet." I sit up straight and crack my back, stiff from the lack of movement in the last five hours. I don't know if I should ask what happened to me now or later. I'm assuming that later'll be safer, seeing as she's driving right now, so I opt to ask her more about our new passengers. "And the other guy? From the first sight?" "He's with Byers and Langley. Woke up half an hour ago, and refuses to say a word. Langley says he looks like he's in shock." She shakes her head and rubs her eyes. "Once I'm off this adrenaline high, I'll be in shock too." She says it so quietly and with such vulnerability that I don't doubt it for a second. I grab the radio. "Hey, Mulder..." Click. Click. "Hey, sleepy head, welcome back to the land of the living..." I can tell that he regrets that comment as soon as he makes it, but I don't comment. Even in the short time that I've known him, he always tended to speak before he thoroughly thought out the implications of anything that he might have said. "Think we can rest anytime soon?" Langley pitches in. "Yeah, Mulder. I really think that Scully should have a look at this guy." "Skinner awake yet?" Click. Static. "Yeah, I'm here, Mulder." I watch the landscape race by with really no change, given the darkness of the night. No moon. Fitting end to the world. "Alright." He break off for a moment and then I can hear him speeding past us, into the lead. "Next town. You all stay in the cars and I'll get out to check it out. Keep the cars running till I give the clear, right?" A chorus of 'rogers' echo through the radio and the line is silent once again. It's weird how we've accepted Mulder as the leader. We're not questioning anything that he's saying. The radio clicks again. "Monica, Scully wants to know if Bethany's awake." "Nope, she's asleep," I answer for her, throwing the radio back on to its resting place on the dashboard. I turn in my seat to look at Bethany and watch her for a moment. She's middle aged, with shoulder length curly brown hair and an oval shaped face. She's pretty, and has little laugh lines around her eyes. There's a worried crease on her forehead, even in her sleep and I think that I can guess what she's dreaming about. "Has she been making any noise?" Monica just shakes her head, her dark bangs falling in front of her eyes. She annoyingly swipes them out of the way. She's quiet, but I think it might be because she doesn't really trust herself not to cry right now. I don't want her to either. She's still at the wheel. So I need to distract her. "Why do you think 'they' didn't take her?" *********************** When he woke up, I almost burst into tears, and was annoyed with myself at the one that did fall down my cheek. And I've been holding them in check since. But he's trying to distract me, being the sweetheart that he is. He doesn't want me to cry. Probably because I'm driving this stupid car. Shit, I'm so tired. "Why do you think 'they' didn't take her?" I blink and yawn, stretching my neck. "I don't know. I still haven't figured out why all those cars were piled up like that, in the middle of what should have been deserted highway." He looks back at her again and then eyes me up and down, judging how alert I really am. I turn to look at him. "I'll be ok till we hit the next town. And then I'll crash and tomorrow morning you can carry me to the car while I'm still asleep. OK?" He smiles, happy that I can still make light of the situation, and nods, satisfied that I will be ok till we get somewhere to sleep. Good lord, I hope I am. "I'm not too sure what it was about her that made them skip over her. Or the other guy for that matter." And I don't even have a theory, which is something he's looking for. "I know that you want a theory or something like that, but I don't think I can hand it to you right this moment." It makes me sound a little strung out, but I am stressed, so I do have an excuse. Needless to say, he takes it with grace and shrugs. "S'OK, you've had a lot to think about besides that." Damn straight I have. You were gone. Damn it all to hell... I WILL NOT CRY. I'll be allowed to break down soon, though. I will hold it together until we are safe at a hotel. "Why didn't we stop back in Chicago?" "We did, for a moment. But Mulder thought that there would be too dangerous. The possibility of people still there and ships still... searching." For lack of a better word. Now, Chicago was an experience I'm not to eager to repeat. It was so empty. And it hit me like that little town didn't. Millions of people. Millions and millions. All over the world. Just gone. But all I'd seen was the inner north-eastern area. So many things about this entire thing strike me as so out of joint. Besides the fact that it's colonization... what're with the piles of cars? Why are some people left behind? Is it anything like the Christian view of the apocalypse, where if you're not a certain person, you don't get to go? What happens to the rest of us who are still here when all is said and done? I'm pretty sure I'll find out. I followed Mulder as he pulled into a motel with flickering neon lights calling it the Savanna Falls Inn. It looked fairly decent and the cars could be parked right by the doors, making for an easy get away, if one proved necessary. No one was in. Big surprise. I WILL NOT CRY. At least not yet. We both watched in silence as he got out of the UV, leaving it running, walked up to one of the rooms. He stopped and looked down to both ends of the building before he turned the knob and opened the door. He disappeared for all of about thirty seconds before he reappeared, signaling the all clear. I sighed in relief. And so did John. It was time for bed. ****************** She's being so bloody strong it's making me scared as to how much has actually been going through her head. Through the last couple of years, I've learned to read her fairly well. She's able to hold anything off until she gives herself permission to let go, or whatever. However, the longer she holds back that permission, the more silent and withdrawn she gets, and the more emotional the outpouring when she does give herself leave. And of course, the more she's quiet, the more she thinks and hence the more emotional she gets. So when we've finally dragged our smaller bags into the room and have said good night to everyone one, all I can do I is look at her. Her brown eyes, even before I catch them with my own, are spilling over and she's still trying valiantly to hold them off. "Hey, com'on..." I soothe, walking over to her and pulling her to my chest. All that does is open the floodgates. I don't think I'll ever understand why, when a guy tries to soothe his girl, they just cry harder. Why? I know why she's crying, I don't need her to tell me what's wrong. Heaven knows, that if the same thing had happened to me, I would be kinda strung out right now too. Watching me disappear, right before her eyes... But I'm alive. I'm here. She's latched onto me like an oyster to a rock, so I guide us over to the bed and settle us down, through some gymnastic feat. The beds aren't half bad, I think, but I probably won't be able to feel any aches or pains from it until tomorrow. I supress a shudder when her face burrows into my neck, and she gives me a little squeeze before acting. And act she does. All of a sudden, she's taking my shirt over my head, and her hands are running down my chest. She mumbles something, several things as she starts in on my pants, roughly taking them down, past my knees, yet somehow being kind to my cock which has joined the party. I berate myself, disgusted with the fact that I'm getting aroused only by her needing reassurance that I'm still alive. Her hands are touching every inch of me that she can, and there is no way in hell I can stop the moan that it draws from me. "Monica... hey..." I pull her up to me, to look into my eyes. This seems to calm her somewhat and I take a deep breath, giving her a kiss. "I'm here, love. Yes, it was scary, for you and me. But I'm here. It's going to be OK." "You were GONE." She says this with such emphasis that I can hear the pain that she went through in the moments where I was out of sight. "I was watching you and then you were just... GONE." Her conviction that I had been gone for good was so real, that I finally understood what she was getting out. "I can feel you in a crowded room, John. I know when you're hurt, even when I'm not with you. I know you know what I mean." Just like last week, in the hospital, I think. She hadn't been brain dead, and I somehow just knew. "I can hear your voice out of a hundred, but this afternoon... you were gone. And it physically hurt." She resumes her hand movements, her nails lightly rubbing down over my ribs. My hands go to her waist and under her shirt, pulling it up and over her head. Her bra follows and my hand cup her breasts, feeling her heat and her breaths. I move my right hand to cover her heart, feeling the steady thump-thump for a moment, before leaning up to kiss her there. "I'm back." I state. "I'm not gone, anymore. I'm not going anywhere, love." I follow that up with a kiss, trying to convey all the emotion that I'm feeling into that simple physical act. We don't talk for the rest of the night, feeling the intensity of the time on the road eating into our hope. The closeness that we share in this bed is enough to hold us together for another day. ************* When I wake up the next morning, I actually feel alive. John has his arm lying over my waist. There's nothing possessive in the posture, but I feel like he's still claiming me. There's a tentative knock at the door and I sluggishly crawl out from under the covers. I pull the terry robe off of the back of the door and turning back to John to see him still sleeping, I quietly open the door and see Dana standing there with William. "Morning," she says quietly, knowing that John is still in there. "Mulder wants to get on the road as soon as possible. He's gone to a grocery store nearby to get some things for the day. 20 minutes ok?" I run a hand through my hair and nod, smiling at her. I can't resist and I reach out to run a hand down William's cheek. I sigh. "We'll be ready." She turns and walks down the sidewalk, greeting Frohicke, who's just stepped out of his room, dressed and ready. They pause and start talking, a conversation that's cut off when I close the door. I settle on the side of the bed, causing John to shift a little, and begin to wake up. His eyes flutter open, and after a few seconds, when recognition sets in, he smiles a heartfelt comforting smile. "Good morning." "Same to you," I respond, leaning in and giving him a kiss. "You've got 20 minutes." When his brain finally processes this, he stretches. The sheet falls and rests lightly just below his waist, doing nothing to hide his morning state. "Good lord, man. You're insatiable." "Well, yeah. Hello. After being granted sexual freedom after five years, I'm sure you are too. Don't go trying to deny it." I couldn't, seeing as how I was just as aroused as he apparently was. Instead, I leaned down and gave him another kiss. "Hold that thought." Then I stood up and began getting dressed. He turned over and watched me, one hand holding his head up. "Seeing as you're getting dressed do I want to know how long I have to hold that thought?" He moved and flung his legs over the edge of the bed, trapping my hips and pulling me towards him as I secured my bra. I laughed as he pouted, then he decided that he could kiss me there anyway. The touch was indescribable, and my hands reached up, burrowing in his hair. "John," I drawled, trying to dislodge him. "Twenty minutes is plenty of time..." he whispered, reaching behind me and taking my bra off again. "Actually, it's only fifteen now." I gasped, then threw in a moan for good measure as he suckled my nipple into his mouth. Ahhh, screw it. roughly, I pushed him back on the bed and watched his smile spread as he watched me undo my shorts and throw them down my legs. "You'll pay for this later," I swore, settling across his waist and drawing even with his straining cock. And then, without preamble, knowing that I was more than ready for him, I sank down. "Fuck..." he grunted. It startled me that he said anything, and with the way that he was groaning already, he wasn't going to be very quiet right now. I shushed him and as I started to rock, I put my thumb into his mouth, letting him bite down on it. Not only did it quiet him, but it was fabulous for me. The slight pain of it went straight through me and ended in my crotch where John was doing exceptional things with both of his free hands. He massaged my clit and urged me faster with a heavy hand on my waist. "Hurry," he grunted softly. And then he started to help and all it took was two thrusts and I was pushed over the edge. I reveled in the way that my inner muscles pulled and tugged at him and sighed as he bit down harder on my thumb and released into me. More than anything I wanted to settle back down onto him, but I knew that now we had even less time. I sighed and straightened up, rest my free hand on his chest and giving him a slight push to make his recognize that now that the fun was over, we actually did have to move. "Just for that, you get first shift behind the wheel." I smiled smugly and stepped off of him, sighing as I felt him slip out of me. I looked down at my thumb and the teeth marks there, quirking an eyebrow at him. "So what'd I do to get this?" I let him kiss it as he stood up and dragged me into the bathroom, turning on the shower. "You could tell them it was used as a gag as we went about a quickie this morning..." he said entirely with a straight face. I pretended to think about it, and then pursed my lips. I reached behind me and adjusted the spray, stepping under it. "How 'bout not? Although, if Dana looks at it, she'll know what they are." John shrugged. "Whatever." He kissed me and then giving his hair one more swipe under the spray, stepped out again, grabbing one of the towel and rubbing himself dry. He didn't care if anyone knew that had happened this morning, and thinking about it, I didn't either. "You take the shortest showers I have ever seen anyone take." I marveled, rubbing in my shampoo. It felt so utterly normal to have him standing naked in the bathroom while I took my shower. And I loved that he was entirely conscious of the fact too. He was comfortable with what was happening. "S'what happens when you don't have all that much hair." I rinsed, and turned into the spray, looking sideways at him. I reached down and turned off the tap, and as I stepped out, he handed me a towel, fresh from the rack. "These aren't such bad towels. Let's grab a couple of extra." The comment was so out of ordinary that I stopped in my tracks and the memories of yesterday came back full force. Millions missing. Millions probably dead, and the beginning of the end of the world. How come everything had felt so good this morning? So normal? John notices my pause and looks sorry. He ducks his head in apology and takes the towels out into the room, leaving me standing there, naked, with a towel drying my hair. Except for John having just walked out, I would have though that I was just on another case. What I would give for that. "Mon?" he calls tentatively, and I see him peek around the door jamb. "We should hurry." His tone is soothing and quiet, giving his unspoken consideration of what I'm thinking. I sigh, shake my head and walk into the room, so see John pulling on a polo shirt. I stop and watch him as he smoothes it and slides a belt on. "I love you." Even though my voice is quiet, he glances up startled. He smiles tenderly and gives me a gentle kiss. "Love you too. But you might want to get dressed fast, cause I'm quite sure that Scully'll be knocking on that door, telling us to get our asses in gear." ************************ I leave Monica in the room to get dressed and take our smaller duffles out to the Jimmy. I catch Scully going down to her car and head over to her. "How're our two guests?" She looks up from opening the tailgate and smiles at me. "Morning." I nod in response, still waiting to hear the news. She shrugs. "Bethany's fine, just a little shook up. The other one... the one Mulder pulled out, he was in shock last night, completely out of it. Mulder found his wallet, though, and his name's Jackson Maier. Other than that, I don't know anything about him." I nod, understanding, and turn back to the motel, squinting into the rising sun. I see Jackson, sitting on the curb, two rooms down from ours. He's cast in shadow, but he looks so alone. I look past the building and into the field behind it, to see Skinner standing alone, silhouetted by the clear morning sky. "It's a beautiful morning for the end of the world." I say, morosely, shoving my hands in my pockets. I turn to look at my former partner, who's looking towards the building and where Mulder and her son emerge. Then she casts a glance at me and smiles sadly; not for her, or the world, but for me. "No, John, it's a beautiful morning for the beginning of a new world. Our world." Then she moving to meet the two people in her heart and I stand at the tail of the car and feel acceptably chagrined. I'm proud of her, though, of the way that she's pulled through all of the last couple of days, and how she's still managed to remain so optimistic. And I see, as I turn from them towards Monica coming to me, that I have plenty of reason to remain optimistic too. I've got a woman who loves me, I've got a pack of friends who would remain loyal to death and I've got a reason to reach into the future. We can win this. We will win this. She walks up to me and smiles, though I can still see the pain reflected in her brown eyes. Playfully I pull her too me and plant a kiss on her, feeling her chuckle. "I love you." She lays her forehead against mine and smiles, even more beautifully than before. "That's nice of you to say, John, but you still have first shift." She gives me a milder kiss and pushed away from me with both hands on my chest. "Awww... Monica..." I whine. "Whining doesn't help, in that situation, Doggett." Mulder chuckles, still holding his son, but only about two feet away. I smile at him, in a much lighter mood. It's really nice to see him, though for a long time we never really got along in the basement, it wasn't until he was fired that I finally saw that he really did trust me; that he was accepting of leaving the files in my hands, however incapable I was in that area. He knew I would stand for what he did, even if I didn't believe in the same things. We were the same at heart, and he discovered that. "Have I told you how much I like it that you're back?" He seems a little startled at that, but takes it with gratitude. "No, but thank you. It's nice to be back." He looks endearingly at his son, who giggles happily and slaps a tiny hand against his father's cheek. Mulder catches the hand and blows a raspberry into William's palm, leaving the little guy squealing and in hysterics. Mulder pulls back and graces me with a smile. "Let's get going, shall we?" I sigh, and look to William. "You ready for another whole day in the car, big guy? I know I'm not." Mulder shakes his head and turns to put William in the car seat. "So, where are Bethany and Jackson going to sit?" I ask, seeing Bethany walking down the parking lot towards us. "I was hoping that you wouldn't mind taking Bethany, since she was with you last night... plus, Monica seems to have this way with strangers." He furrows his brow in query and I nod, accepting it. "Not a problem, we've got lots of room." I turn to the woman, who's now standing quietly five feet away. "Good morning. I'm sorry that I didn't get to introduce myself last night. My name's John Doggett." She smiles politely, if with a little bit of unfamiliarity. "Bethany Michaels. Nice to meet you... under the circumstances." I nod my head sympathetically, and gesture to the Jimmy. "You're with me and Monica today, alright?" Again she nods under the instruction and looks furtively at the big vehicle. "Mon?" I call, and she appears from behind the Jimmy. "Bethany's going to be with us today." She nods. "We ready to go?" Again she nods and comes up to us. "How're you feeling today, Beth?" Nodding, she smiles gratefully. She seems a little shy and uncertain of where she fits in the whole scheme, and I can't blame her. It's obvious that the rest of us, excluding Jackson, are comfortable with each other. And now there's no one left for her, but us, and she wants to fit in. I don't think that that'll be a problem. Though she's tentative right now, I'm sure she'll realize what we're like pretty soon, and she'll be just right then. Out of the corner of my eye I see Jackson slowly approaching, and I turn to him, extending a hand. "John Doggett." He's suspicious of me, I think and it takes him a couple of moments to extend his own hand to me. But his grip is firm, even if the look in his eyes is hollow and unresponsive. I'm trying to remain optimistic here, but I don't think that he likes me. Finally he speaks, gruff and short. "Jackson Maier." I nod and smile and then turn back to the car, and open the door. I see Langley and Byers step out of their rooms and head for their car, while off to the side, Frohicke is having a chat with Skinner. I shake my head. They seem like the oddest friends, but it's great to see them get along. Monica and Beth are chatting away when I get in, and they don't pause as I start the engine. "FBI? Really? That's crazy." Beth sounds astonished at the news. "And you all knew each other before... this?" She waves her hands generally and I catch her eye in the rear view mirror. "Dana and Mulder used to be partners for years. I think back in '92 or something. Walter Skinner was their supervisor as Assistant Director. And then John and I were partnered together on the same unit as Dana." Monica's taking the easy way to explain our relationships to one another, but I think it's wise. She doesn't really need to know EVERYTHING. "And the other three?" "They all knew Mulder. Good friends of his, and now ours. We've only known them for a couple of months, but they're great." Monica stays halfway turned in her seat as I pull out, following Mulder onto the highway. Yet another day. *********************** Beth's an interesting person. It's great to have another woman to talk to; I was feeling a little out numbered with just me and Dana. I smile at John as he drives, a tiny smirk plastered on his lips as he listens to us chatter away. We've already covered all the bases in our three hour conversation, but there's still so much more. Beth was from Chicago, on her way to see her parents. She didn't have any children or even a husband (which I'm sure thankful for right now, cause she'd probably be more subdued than she already is). But slowly she related what had happened to her yesterday: starting with her driving to when Mulder pulled her from the wreck. She had been taken up into the ship. She had felt the same paralyzing effect that I had felt and had been lifted into the light. She doesn't really remember how she got back into the car, but she remembers watching us pull up, and the kind voice that Mulder used to approach her. She was grateful for that. She couldn't recall how long she had been sitting in the car before we came along. "I need to ask you something." Beth inhales a little gasp, likely afraid of what that question could be. I see John watch her in the mirror, but he doesn't say or do anything that could frighten her more. He's so good with people that way. I take a breath. "Were you ever... abducted before?" It's so awkward to ask a question like that, but I've got a hunch stirring in my brain, and I need to verify this. As I watch her nod, the gears start turning in my head, and I continue on. "Did you ever find a little scar..." I lean forward and finger the back of my own neck, hoping that she understands, "right around here?" An odd expression comes to her face and she shakes her head. "No. I've never had any reason to think something like that." I reach out my hand. "Do you mind?" She pauses for a moment, considering my request and then leans forward, dipping her head to let her chin rest on her breastbone. I gently sweep the dark hair out of my way and run a fingertip over the exposed area of her neck. I feel the variation in texture and stop, outlining it with a nail. "You do..." I murmur. John turns to look at me, and we both acknowledge the significance of that. She had been abducted previously and had been marked. Were 'they' only taking new people, ones that they hadn't already tested? At my murmur, Beth becomes frightened, and her eyes widen. "What does that mean?" She's extremely quiet, but there's a tremendous amount of fear laced into her words. "Why is there a scar there?" "It's alright. Dana had the same thing. She was taken for a while also, but when she removed the chip, a cancer began to develop, an inoperable cancer. She almost died, until another chip was put into replace the one taken out. The cancer went into remission." John is soothing in his words and I can see Beth, though still anxious, relax. "There's nothing wrong with that chip, as long as you don't remove it." She nods, and her hand goes up to the nape of her neck, to feel the evidence. "Do you think that Jackson has one of these too?" "I'm bettin' he does." John smiles ruefully, focusing intently on the road. "I don't know what this gives us in the long run, though. I mean, that they've already been taken once, why not twice?" "Thank God, not twice," Beth says, sighing. I smile at her and nod. "Yeah." I turn fully in my seat to look ahead of us. We're still traversing the inner states, and prairies stretch before us in a never ending field of grain. The sky is clear, marred only sporadically by the fluffy white cloud that floats slowly across the expanse. Where else is there a ship? Is there one in that field? I look back to the ground, sprouting green in newly planted cereals and vegetables. Would have been a good crop this year, I think sullenly. I hear Beth sigh in the back seat and I echo it. Glancing at the clock, I'm amazed to see that it's near one. Static. Click. "Lunch anyone?" Agreement is echoed throughout the lines and in ten minutes we've pulled into a deserted pullout. There're no cars or trucks sitting here, not even in one condensed area. This place would have had some activity around this time yesterday. Where do they take the cars? Everyone hops out of their cars and stretches languidly. Four hours is a long time to sit in one spot. But considering the situation, everyone's in an all right mood as we set about making sandwiches with the food that Mulder took from the grocery store this morning. William is passed from person to person as he is in an amiable mood and not fussy as to who is holding him. As John sets him on his hip and takes a bite of his lunch, I meet his eyes. He looks so natural like that it makes my eyes hurt. The small boy fingers the few buttons on John's shirt with a silly grin on his face, his intense little blue eyes focused on the small object. Thinking back, I can picture Luke on his hip like that. A small version of John Doggett. Inadvertently my own hand strays to my belly, and John watches, fascinated, until he catches my eye again. He understands. And as a small smile spreads over his face, I see that he's got the same idea. All of a sudden I feel butterflies. A child with John? Now? But then I think, why not? What would be a better way to solidify our lives as they are now? Renew our own determination to make it through all this shit. A child would bring a lot of hope to my life, and I'm sure it would to John's as well. I duck my head and then look up again, nodding. A good subject for a talk. Later. In private. He nods back and turns to the little boy in his arms. A sharp bark cuts through the air, and suddenly, we're all on alert. A dog? John hands William back to Dana and follows Mulder in the direction of the gas station. Oh, he's not getting out of my sight that easily, I think. I look to see that Jackson has come too, running alongside John, and I catch up to them as they turn the corner. John reaches out an arm to stop me. I freeze, and stare. ******************** Three children sit in the shade of the overhang of the station, licking on popsicles, obviously taken from inside the booth. None of them could be siblings as they vary in skin colour and ethnic origin. Among them runs two dogs, no longer puppies, but still with a little bit of a puppy swagger. They don't notice us at first, but when they do, I can tell that they're scared. They stop their talking and the popsicles freeze on the way to their mouths. The puppies notice us, but they aren't scared in the least. They race over to us and the first one jumps into Mulder's legs, ending up sprawling on his haunches. "Hey, there. Easy big guy." Mulder bends down and rubs the little animal behind his ear, drawing an excited yap from the other one, who has chosen Jackson as his intended target. What's shocking to me is that Jackson shows the same tenderness that Mulder does. I guess I may have been too soon to judge the man. When I look back to the children, they've stayed in their same frozen position. Out of the corner of my eye I can see Monica slowly walking forward, a tender look on her face. Given what we were both thinking not three minutes ago, this is an interesting turn of events. "Hello. My name's Monica." She kneels on one knee about four feet from the first child, a timid little Arab girl, and look past her into the eyes of the younger child behind her, a small Japanese boy. He ducks behind the girl, and peeks over her shoulder at Monica. The third child, the oldest of them, of African descent, is still frozen and his popsicle has fallen to the ground by his feet. But he's also the first to break the spell. "Who're you?" He couldn't be more than 9 or 10, but his words are forceful, and he steps protectively in front of the two others. They lean around his legs to keep all of us in view, and Monica turns all her attention to this boy. "Monica Reyes. I'm from Washington, DC. Who're you?" He pauses for a moment, his dark lips pursing in thought. "My name's Mark." He turns to the two behind them and points them out. "That's Shirah and Kyle." When he's done with the introductions, he looks pointedly to us, standing in a group behind the newly introduced Monica. Monica stands and turns to us, a smile on her face. She so great with children. She points to each one of us in turn. "That's Fox, Jackson and John. They're with me. There're more people over on the other side of the building. Do you want to go and meet them?" It's been decided unanimously and silently that these kids were going to come with us, even if they didn't want to. There was no way in hell that they were going to stay here alone. Hesitantly at first the three start walking towards us and then Mark stops in front of Mulder. "Is your name really Fox?" Mulder smiles playfully at the boy who stands no taller than his waist. "It's really Fox. But you can call me Mulder if you don't like it. I don't really like it. Do you?" Mark shrugs indifferently and then shakes his head. "No, not really." Shirah and Kyle have kind of suctioned themselves to Monica's legs and she kindly bends down and takes one of each of their hands, leaving her able to walk. I wait for her to meet up with me, and then I turn and walk with the three of them. The puppies have stayed behind, but are now running around our legs. I look to Shirah and smile. "Hi." She blushes and ducks her head behind Monica's hand. I look to Monica and she smiles cutely, amused at Shirah's reaction. "Do these little guys have names?" I ask them, bending to pat one, who looks to be a cross between a black lab and German shepherd. Interesting, but cute. Shirah nods, but doesn't answer verbally. "What are they?" I encourage her, as we round the building again, to see Mark being introduced to the rest of the group. Scully looks shocked when she spies Monica and I with the dogs and the other two. William, however, seems enthusiastic at the addition of more children, he waves his arms wildly and is smiling, revealing two of his newly emerging teeth. "This one's Duke," awkwardly patting the shaggy head of the little Dalmation hopping around her feet. "That's Zeus." "Zeus? That's a cool name." I smile down at her and she blushes again. We've met up with the others and I stop and watch as Monica introduces these two to William and Dana and the rest of the bunch. Kyle still hasn't said a word and has somehow been transported up into Monica's arms. He couldn't be more than four or five, shy and reclusive, though he seems comfortable enough in Monica's embrace. Shirah has now attached herself to Beth, who is standing talking to her and Jackson. I feel almost bad about the reaction I had to Jackson this morning, but watching him now, with Beth and Shirah, I think I know why he may have been so recluse. I think that he may have been married, and even a father. He smiles gently at the little girl and ruffles her hair when he laughs at something she's said. "I don't know what to think about this." I didn't even notice Mulder walking up behind me. Mark is talking with Byers and Frohicke, while Skinner and Langley watch the dogs playing on the grass off to the side and are talking quietly between them. Our group has suddenly doubled; and sprouted two dogs. "Monica and I were talking about this whole lack of abduction thing with Beth. She's got a scar, just like Scully's." Mulder catches a breath and then purses his lips in thought. "So they're not taking former abductees? I don't know how to make sense of that." We start walking over to the main group. "So, Jackson probably too, huh?" "That's what I'm guessing." I stop to look at Mark. "Kids too." This strikes me as more than sad. They've already gone through the whole experience of being somewhere that they don't recognize and now they have no parents, either. It's amazing they're even coherent and not catatonic. "Although, I'll admit that I'm a little lost on the dogs." Mulder releases a huff of amusement, then falls quiet for a moment. "can you think of anything that we might need from here? It shouldn't be too long before we hit a bigger city where we can stop at a WalMart or something." "Think they have any dog food?" ************************** Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Mulder talking to John, and I'm trying to assimilate all that's just occurred. We've just inherited three little children and two very energetic puppies. We're not going to have very much room left. Maybe we should think about getting another car. I'll voice that later. It looks like we're going to be heading off now, as Mulder and John signal to us to saddle up. Mulder runs around the corner and presumably into the store for something and I watch John as he strolls toward me. "We don't have a car seat for this one. I don't think that he's big enough to sit in a regular seat by himself." I try to pull Kyle away from around my neck, but he just grabs on tighter. "Plus, I don't think that he'll want to go in any other car right now." John smiles at me and leans forward to try and catch his eyes. "Hi, Kyle. My name's John." I feel Kyle's spiky hair tickle my chin as he nods, accepting John's introduction. "Do you want to ride with Monica and I?" Again the boy nods, his arms relaxing a little on their choke hold. John smiles tenderly at Kyle and then me before he turns to Scully, who's standing a couple of feet away, talking with Byers and Frohicke. "Scully, Kyle's coming with us." She smiles and laughs. "I don't think I was expecting anything else, John. Mark's going to be with Langley, Byers and Jackson. But I guess that Shirah's going to be with you too." She nods her head towards the little girl, who's standing patiently beside Beth as she talks with Jackson. She got a tight hold on her hand, and Jackson is casting a sad, regretful look to the little child, only partially listening to Beth. "I guess that Duke and Zeus can go with Frohicke and Skinner. But that's a pretty small car for the two of them." "I think that we'll be needing another car as soon as we can get one. Beth and Jackson can drive it." Scully nods and shifts her son on her hip, looking up and catching Mulder carrying two forty pound bags of dog food. "Okay, you know what, Dana?" I say, pointing to the man. "He's freaking me out." I try to say it with humour, but the reality behind it all comes through and it falls flat. He really is scaring me. "I know." She looks at me and then back to Mulder, who throws the bags into the back of Frohicke's car. She sighs. "I know." She nods and walks towards her own car, with a sideways glance at me and a small smile. John walks up beside me and pushes me gently towards our own car. "Com'on. Talk to him about it later. We need to get going. Beth?" he calls, gesturing her that we're going to go. The five of us pile into the Jimmy, though Kyle give a little bit of a fuss when he realizes that he has to sit in the back with Beth and Shirah and not up front with me. I speak softly to him, trying to soothe him down. "I'm going to be right here, Kyle," pointing to the driver's seat, "you'll be able to see me, but I have to put you in a seat belt, see?" she pulls it out and gently straps him in behind the front passengers seat. "Do you want me to drive? I can, if you need me too..." John offers, watching me with blinding scrutiny. He's so intense sometimes, I wonder what he's thinking. Then he clears his throat again, and points behind the driver's seat. "Look you sit him there, strap him in and then you sit in the passenger's seat for a while until he settles down. At least this way you can talk to him and look at him." He shrugs. "That's all he's scared of, right?" "Or something like that." I pause, knowing that he's already driven for almost four hours, but not wanting to upset Kyle anymore than necessary. I smile at John's consideration when I see that he really doesn't mind. He's wide awake and thinking anyway. I lean forward and give him a swift kiss. "Thank you." He then grants me a kiss and walks around the front of the car. "No problem," he laughs and flashes me a grin. I strap Kyle in behind John and then watch as Beth sits between Shirah and Kyle and straps the little girl in. I look to yet another car, where Mark is with Langley and Byers. They watch him as he settles down next to Jackson, who laughs at something and makes the boy smile. It hits me, oddly. We've all become parents. In a matter of an hour, we've suddenly become parents. It's no longer only William to be watched over, but these three now too. Good Lord. Please help us. "Do we have any idea what we're getting ourselves into?" I quietly ask John, as we pull out of the gas station. He smirks and shakes his head. On impulse he reaches out and grabs my hand, lacing his fingers through mine. I settle back in the chair and cast a glance back to Kyle, smiling when I see that he's now attached himself to Beth, but has kept his eyes on me. I watch him for a moment and notice that his eyes begin to droop shut and finally he falls into sleep. I haven't had the urge to see where we were on the map, but for some reason, now I do, and I fumble in the glove compartment, regretfully extracting my hand from John's. I pull it out and unfold it, keeping small and managable. "At the speed we're clocking, we should be able to hit the border by five or six. We'll probably be sleeping in Canada tonight." I nod and look back to Beth. "You ever been to Canada?" She smiles sullenly and shakes her head. "Always wanted to, though." She runs a tender hand down the side of Shirah's head and pauses as the tired little girl settles more firmly into her side. Kyle remains unconscious to the world. Click. Click. "Guys?" static. "What's going on, Mulder?" Byers' voice is softer and I get the feeling that Mark is probably asleep there too. "We've got another pile sitting up here, you can see it when you top the hill." We're third in line and catch the sun playing off of windshields as soon as he says it. the pile is the same size as the others one's that we've passed, with the same kind of deal. Most of the cars are undamaged, but placed really close together. I turn to look at Beth, and place a hand on her knee, hoping that this doesn't really bring back any memories that'll frighten her. Hysteria spreads, and I don't want to have to handle Shirah and Kyle too. She understands my gesture and nods her head. "I'm ok, but if you don't mind, I think I'll stay in the car." I nod, and unbuckle my seat belt, jumping out of the car and John slows to a stop. I'm up to the cars before John finally catches up with me. "Mulder?" I call, seeing his head bobbing in between the cars. Skinner's gone into the mess too, but John and I stay on the perimeter, keeping our eyes open for any movement. "You see anything?" John asks me after a couple of moments of scanning the mass. Nothing. I shake my head. The silence here, in the middle of the prairies, among a pile of abandoned cars is unnerving. I keep expecting something to screech, or scream to break the silence and make the grade B horror movie complete. Something has to happen. ******************************** I'm anxiously standing here next to Monica, waiting for something to happen. Something has to happen. The relative stillness and silence is screaming at me to be on the ready for something frightening to take place. But Mulder and Skinner emerge from the cars unharmed and feeling the expectancy too. "You guys feel that?" Mulder asks, and he looks around. I'm expecting the huge jump in temperature any second, to signify yet another visit, but after a moment I realize that he's talking about the feeling of anxiousness. Monica clears her throat. "Uhm, if it's all the same with you, I'd really like to keep going." Skinner nods his agreement, but Mulder doesn't turn or do anything to acknowledge Monica's request. He stands there with his cocked to the side, as if he's listening for something; waiting for a sound to reach him. Almost like he knows it's coming. "If you know something, Mulder, do you care to fill us in?" It sounds short and frustrated to me, and I think that maybe I wasn't completely successful in covering it up. His glance is almost apologetic, but he doesn't say anything. He goes back to listening. Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye I see two shapes take off across the field. Duke and Zeus. They head over the grain sprouts towards a small clump of trees off to the side. "Hey!" I turn, but before I can do anything, a sharp, ear-splitting whistle breaks through the air. Skinner watches as the two puppies stop short, more curious as to who made the sound than in obedience to it. Skinner whistles again and the dogs scamper up to him, their tails almost hanging in apology. "Wow." I nod my head at Mulder's simple description to the power that Skinner already exhibits over the two puppies. Both Monica and I stand in shock for a moment, before we realize that Mulder has headed in the same direction that the dogs had. He's really starting to freak me out with his actions, but I'm also in the mind that he's known something since he got out of the car that none of us would think of. "Mulder?" I shout, beginning to run after him. He turns and yells, "Get ready to leave. There's something not right..." and then he's off again. I'm still on his heels, and vaguely I can hear Beth calling for Monica because Kyle's woken up and is crying. I also hear her call my name, but I ignore it. I hope that I don't regret ignoring it. Mulder's stopped at the edge of the trees and is looking around. I softly come to a stop just behind him, scanning the foliage for anything out of the ordinary. We stand in silence for several moments, listening to the birds singing and a squirrel chatter his dislike of our presence. I step a little to the side, hoping that another angle will clear something out, but I can't quite focus on anything. I'm starting to think that there's nothing here and my attention begins to loose it's focus. Mulder takes another step closer to the trees and I'm about to call out to him when he freezes. There's someone emerging from the bush. I don't recognise them as familiar in physical appearance, but their stature is. Head low with a purposeful stride, deadly cold eyes staring out from under eyelashes with no waver to his gaze. Now I'm frozen. Dear Lord. Not more. Mulder's suddenly pissed and he shoves me back. "Go!" "What?" I cry, knowing that he's going to stay behind. "I can't leave you with him!" "It won't make any difference, Doggett, but I think that it's you he's after. Get the fuck out of here!" Mulder risks a quick glance to me, but then returns his look to the soldier. "I stand a much better chance than you." Mentally, I know he's right. Given all the feats of strength he's pulled off, there's something different about him. Physically, I still can't move, though I manage to take a couple of steps back. I'm going to watch everything, even if I don't want to. Mulder positions himself between me and the soldier and braces himself against the impact of it. The soldier reacts as if seeing Mulder for the first time and grabs him by the shoulders, intending to throw him out of the way to get to me. Like some horrible rubbernecker, I'm watching this fight. The slow motion action of the two only deepens the impact of the physicality of it all. Not four feet from me there is someone who is trying to kill me... or worse yet turn me into something like him. But Mulder's there, standing as a mediator between me and death, and doing a fairly good job of delaying it. I hope he stops it altogether. I still can't move. Mulder has thrown the soldier a good five feet back from me and is advancing on him again. The silence of the fight makes it nearly impossible to watch because every impact of their bodies is amplified. Punches are thrown, and so are bodies, but Mulder's still going. And in a swift change, Mulder's got the upper hand on the soldier and noisily and grotesquely breaks his neck. I flinch to the side and hold in my urge to throw up. "He's not dead." Of course he's dead, I think, you just broke his... oh. He's NOT dead. "Damn it, Doggett, we have to get out of here if I'm going to throw you over my shoulder." He stalks towards me. "Get moving!" Just the fear that Mulder has instilled in me is enough to get me going back across the field at an alarming rate. There is something terribly wrong with this whole situation. It's almost as if he's one of them, but he's not. I don't even know where to begin on that train of thought. As we're running back, I can hear Mulder telling the other cars to get moving and I see them speed off. They crest the small hill before us as I jump into the passenger seat and feel Monica take off. I won't look back. I won't look back. Damn it, the soldier's already standing again. That was all of thirty seconds. Damn it. Monica's steady breathing is an echoing background to the stirring thoughts in my head. Beth's sitting in the back, but no sounds are coming from her, or the children. I'm internally fighting about whether or not I'm going to look back again. I will not be a rubbernecker. I won't... Then something catches my eye in the rearview and I turn to look again. Damn it. Now I have to tell Mulder too. Click. "Mulder?" Static. "Yeah, you see 'em?" Click. Click. "From where?" I ask, looking to Monica and seeing her looking in the mirror. I see her eyes widen slightly and then dart back to the road. For both her comfort and mine, I take a hold of her hand and pull the radio to my mouth again. "Was that what you were looking for?" Click. "I don't know..." Rustling in the background. "Don't worry, they're not coming after us. I'll talk to you later, k?" Click. Static. "Gotcha." I throw the radio onto the dashboard and flinch at the loud crash that it makes. I look back to Shirah and Kyle and smile sadly. "Sorry." They curl into Beth just a little bit more and nod to me. I cast my eyes to Monica, wishing that we were anywhere but here. I've got the sudden urge to hold her and her hand just isn't doing it for me anymore. Unfortunately I have to make do, and I give her hand a squeeze. "You okay?" "I'm... dealing." She glances down at the clock on the dashboard and releases a sigh. "Can you put some music on?" **************************** Music. Yes, Music would be good. I'll focus on that and I won't have to think on the fact that I almost lost John for the second time in two days. Fuck. I don't think anything could distract me from that. Casting a furtive glance in the rearview mirror, I caught the sympathy that was abounding in Beth's eyes. I think that she might have some what understood what I was thinking. I knew that John did, but I don't know how to avoid looking at him. I need to look at him. So I do. All I can see is the outline of his face as he searches through the CD wallets that he remembered to bring along. Trust John to remember a thing like CD's when we're running from invading aliens. I can only see the outline because the rest of his features are blurry. Damn it. I will not cry... Again. John looks up at me and I turn back to the road. I have to focus on some thing other than this, cause he's still here. He's not gone. In fact, he never left my line of sight. But damn if that soldier didn't scare the shit out of me. But he's not gone. Thinking that like a mantra is enough to get my eyes focused again and I actually do feel a lot better. That's good. He's fishing around in the wallets again and finally slips a disc into the stereo, some classical, soothing flute music. Hmmm. That's nice. I smile at him, thanking him for his choice and he smiles back; a beautiful full smile. He reaches out and brushes the back of his fingers over my cheek, a calming gesture, assuring me of his presence. Even though I never thought that I'd ever need physical reassurance as much as I have in the last couple of days, this simple little touch to my face is perfect. Soft, gentle and full of love. A yawn from the back seat draws my eyes to the mirror and Beth smiles at me, then tilts her head to the side, indicating that it's Kyle who's yawning. I have yet to hear him say something to anyone, but I'm sure that as soon as he's comfortable enough, it'll happen. He surprises me now, though. I hear a soft klink of the seat belt undoing and Beth's soft command to put it back on, and then I can see him in the corner of my eye. His small hand grabs the back of my elbow where it rests on the arm rest and I'm about to ask him to sit back down when his tired eyes turn to John and he pushes away from me and into John's lap. Rubbing a sleepy hand against his eyes, he doesn't see the shock in John's face as he settles down and lays his head against John's chest. For a moment, I can see fear and memory crash over John's features. Flashbacks of Luke torment me for a moment also, but then something else takes over. A feeling of renewal, of second chances. Maybe. In the last couple of days, I've lived through a systematic decimation of the earth, almost losing the man I love... twice... and have been reaffirmed in my life. In the midst of all the pain, death and loss, I'm seeing something foreign. It's so out of place in this world now that it's painful to look at, but it's a pain I'm willing to suffer. I'm seeing joy. Hope. Love. Faith. I look at John, who now has a child who has shown trust to him cradled in his lap, and I see a new beginning. We can win this. We will win this. END PART TWO.