Title: Between You an' Me, Duke Author: Karen (snarky_freak@hotmail.com) Rating: R (for language) Keywords: Doggett, Duke Tomasick, Pre-X-Files, a whiff of D/R Spoilers: Underneath, mostly Summary: 'I'm your partner, for Pete's sakes. Tell me.' Disclaimers: They're not mine, so don't look at me like that, 'kay? Archive: All are more than welcome, just please e-mail me Author's Note: Severe liberties have been taken with regards to the timeline. So if things seem a little 'wonky' with regards to reconciling certain dates, just automatically assume that this little fic is set in AU. --- "Alright. Okay. Out with it. Spill. What is it now?" "I dunno what the hell you're talkin' about." "The hell you don't." "The hell I don't is right, Duke. Drop it, okay?" "Yeah, sure. Be a lot easier if I knew what the fuck I'm supposed to be droppin' right now, Johnny. C'mon. What's happened now?" "Christ, nothin's happened." "Would you give me that damn paper and look at me?! Here, lemme have that. The Yankees play-by-play from last night can wait, partner." "Hey-I'm still readin' that!" "I know you are. So would you just-give me-" "Alright, fine. Fine. Fine. Take it. Go ahead. You wanna know?" "Yeah. You bet. `Course I do. I'm your partner, for Pete's sakes. Tell me. You're a heck of a lot easier to sit in this car with when I know somethin's goin' on with you. So out with it." Detective John Doggett practically squirmed in the passenger seat as he tried to endure his partner Duke's impatient fatherly gaze. Three hours, going on four, since the start of this stakeout, and all Duke wanted to talk about was this. Whatever this was. "Hey, John. Ya heard me twice. Now open that yap of yours an' start yappin'. You may not believe this, but I don't got all day for ya." Doggett nodded to himself, stared briefly at his reflection in the rear view mirror, before he looked straight ahead and took a deep breath. "Barb an' I had another fight this morning." "Aww, Christ." "You think I wanted to fight with her? Huh? You think I-" "I didn't say that." "So what's that damn 'aww, Christ' shit for? Huh? Whaddya want from me, Duke? She got mad for no reason again. At me, as usual. Somethin' about me goin' off to work without checkin' on the baby or somethin' like that. God, I dunno what that woman wants from me sometimes, y'know?" "Well, idn't that why you married her in the first place? Keep you on yer toes, guessin'?" "That supposed to be funny?" "Johnny. Come on, Johnny, it was funny. It was. Look... Maybe it's not my place to say this, but-" "Fuck. Now what? You too, huh? She put you up to this? Get you to talk to me for her sake? For Luke's?" "Hey. You know me. I don't take no orders from nobody, unless I get paid to do it. And I sure as hell won't take orders from Barbara. God knows your wife hates me, too." "She doesn't hate you. Don't say that. Barb just thinks you keep me away from the house too much. You know how wives are. Mean, you've had a few too many of `em yourself, so you should know..." "So listen to me, then." "Yeah, yeah, I'm listenin'. Wise old guy's gonna talk, no fuckin' way I'm gonna miss this one..." "Hey. Smartass. You'll live to regret it if you talk to me like that again." "Just shut up an' say whatever you wanna say, Duke. I'm listenin'." "Fine." "Well?" "Boredom." "Whassat?" "You heard me. Boredom, with a fuckin' capital 'B'." "An' what's that gotta do with me?" "Heh. `S'got plenty to do with ya." "I dunno. I don't follow you. Only time that's got somethin' to do with me's when I'm stuck in this damn car with you." "Quit clownin' around, Johnny. You know what I mean." "No, I don't know what you mean." "Ah, for Chrissakes-you're bored. Tired of the routine. Tired of family life, married life, the whole thing. Y'need a change, John, a change. You know what I'm talkin' about. It's normal." "A change, huh. What kinda change would that be?" "Well, whatcha been thinkin' about lately?" "Hey, if you think I'm thinkin' of cheatin', then you're talkin' to the wrong-" "You'd never do it." "Damn right I wouldn't. Damn right I won't. I'm married. I'm happy an' married. Not even these stupid fights the past few months with Barb are gonna change that, ol'man." "You'd think it, but you're definitely not the type to do a thing about it." "Gee thanks, Duke. Means a lot knowin' you think I got a dirty mind." "Hey. I knew that long before Barbara ever laid eyes on you. Remem'er that strip joint I took you to? That one after you helped put down that shit bag jackass Masterson?" "Don't gimme too much credit, Duke. That was you, too. I was just followin' you around." "Yeah, well, that was a long time ago, when you were fresh outta the academy. I remem'er you still. That big, stupid smile on yer mug there, the next day, when the L.T. himself came by an' shook yer hand. God, that was priceless. Almost as priceless as that night, remem'er? When that fat-assed stripper did her thing with the pole right in front of you an'-" "Yeah, you couldn't stop laughin'. I remem'er, Duke. You had tears in your eyes just laughin' at me. Pretty damn funny." "Know why? Those goddamn ears, Johnny. Turned so red I thought they were gonna start-" "You really think that's it? You really think I'm tired of my life these days?" "Huh?" "What you said earlier. Think it's really normal? I mean, I've only been married what, two, three years... My wife just had a baby and I'm actin' like this? Christ, Duke. If you're right, then everything's fucked up." "Nah. C'mon, John. It idn't fucked up; don't talk like that, huh? Just... Us guys... You know... It's not unusual for us to wanna look around for somethin' else as soon as there's big responsibilities waiting for us. I mean, that happened to me when my eldest came outta nowhere. Well, not exactly outta nowhere, but ya get my point, right?" "I don't. I'm crazy 'bout Luke. I'd die for that kid. Knew I would the very second he looked at me with those blue eyes and started wailing like a maniac. For cryin' out loud, Duke, I love bein' a dad. Last thing I'd ever do's run away from that." "Which you apparently did this morning, and Barb just happened to catch you. `S that it?" "I didn't." "No?" "No." "You sure?" "Duke..." "So why say it, huh? Why accuse you, if-" "She didn't see me. She was on the phone with her mother. I changed the baby and everything, Duke. He was fine when I left." "So it's a misunderstanding." "No, it's not. Not to her. She called me on my way to work. Imagine bein' stuck in goddamn traffic, with your wife on the phone yellin' at you for somethin' you couldn't control-the baby cryin' and cryin' after you leave." "Are you two havin' problems?" "No. Just... Fights. Here an' there. Especially lately." "Nah. Not that. That's not what I meant... You know... Problems. Married people problems." "Married people problems? What classifies?" "Y'know. In the bedroom. Between the sheets. The sex. How's that goin'?" "I can't believe you're asking me this..." "Hey, you want some advice, I'll give it. I just need to know some things first, Johnny." "Why? To feed your sick twisted mind? Duke, sometimes, you're just-" "Look, I'm not askin' for details, here. I don't care what you do, or how you do it, or when and why you do it. I just wanna know if you're having-" "No. No problems. Not there. Least I don't think so. Ask her. She'll prob'ly tell you different." "Ever thought this could just be her adjustin' to bein' a mom?" "Yeah. Maybe. You're prob'ly right. Maybe." "Unless..." "Unless?" "Oh, I dunno... Unless you've been havin' problems of your own." "What's that supposed to mean?" "Well, like I said earlier, you know... It's normal for us guys to get bored. No matter how crazy we are about our wife, or our kid, or our family. It's human, Johnny. Get over it. Quit bein' that squeaky clean Irish altar boy your momma raised you to be an' just be honest with yerself for once, okay? Go easy on yerself, 'cause it's gonna get much harder from here. If you think you've got it made now, with your li'l fights and shit, then you've lost your marbles. First there's decidin' if you want another kid, then there's raisin' that kid you already have, and then there's makin' yerself want that same woman every night, even after you've seen everything there is to see, done everything there is to be done, an'-" "God damn. Now I know why all your ex-wives couldn't wait to leave you, Duke." "Ah, c'mon. You think it, too. You just don't wanna say it." "Hey." "Hey what?" "Between you an' me, Duke?" "Wouldn't have it any other way. What is it?" "There's times... There's times I wish I coulda done things different. Y'know?" "I know, Johnny. Lord knows that I know. Trust me." "Maybe we shouldn't have done this so soon. Me an' Barb. Get married, I mean." "Yeah, how come?" "I dunno. We were practically kids still when we got married. Don't get me wrong, Duke. I love her. I do. With all my heart. I'm crazy about her. Just... Sometimes..." "Sometimes what?" "Sometimes I get thinkin' that if somethin' happens, y'know... Somethin' I dunno... Somethin' bad or whatever... Things might fall apart just like that. I feel bad feelin' this way, but... Sometimes I'm not sure we're strong enough for both of us. An' lately I get real scared thinkin' 'bout it, with Luke around now an' all. Maybe I could handle things, if things don't work out. But I can't think like that anymore, 'cause we got the baby to think about. And I don't care, Duke. My kid's gonna grow up knowing his parents love each other, no matter what. I'll make this work. Just sometimes..." "Sometimes what, John? Sometimes what?" "Just... I wonder if Barb and I woulda lasted long enough, if it hadn't been for Luke comin' along, y'know?" "Ya think that's all you two got left?" "I'm not sure. Just seems like it sometimes." "Don't think about it, then. `Cause you got him. You got your son there, Johnny. An' he's not goin' anywhere." "Yeah, I hear ya. Thank God for him, huh?" "For sure. Look at you. Fights with your wife and you can still smile like that. Proud daddy. Look at you, John. Sure you get worried an' all, but really, nothin' touches you these days. Nothin' can, 'cause you're so goddamn proud you're Luke's daddy. Gotta say I like ya better now." "Maybe it's 'cause I don't mind payin' for your lunch." "Nah. It's the free beers, I think." "That's as far as you're gonna get. No more strip joints." "Too bad, too. Friday night tonight. Those women'll be-" "Can I ask you somethin'?" "Uh-huh?" "Two things, actually." "Number one bein'...?" "You sure it's normal to look at a pretty girl when you're married and wonder about her still?" "You sure you're a two-balled, one-dicked Brooklyn cop who'd still fuck anything that moves?" "Yes an' no?" "Shuddup, John-boy. 'Course it's normal. You're a goddamn man, you idiot." "A goddamn man with a guilty conscience. You're forgettin' the Irish altar boy shit." "Huh. So who, what, when an' where?" "What?" "The girl." "What girl?" "Pretty girl you looked at an' sorta already sinned with, even though you're married an' all that shit. Out with it. An' don't lie to me, Doggett, 'cause I know your mamma and your mamma knows me." "I was tryin' to get a decent cup of coffee across the street from the station house..." "You're still goin' to that shit-hole? I tell ya, Johnny, ever since they got rid of Mario and Joanna, that place brews nothin' but-" "You wanna hear 'bout the girl or not?" "Fine. Go on. But next time you want coffee-" "I think she's a grad student or somethin'." "A grad-" "Never mind, Duke." "Fine. What'd she look like?" "Big eyes." "Yeah?" "Big... Well, y'know..." "Of course. You'd look. You out of all the guys in our Unit would look. That's your thing, isn't it? I'm more for legs. What else?" "Pretty." "Uh-huh. You're hidin' somethin'. What is it?" "Long hair." "She had long hair? So what? Why hide it from me?" Doggett sighed, defeated. Years. Years he's known Duke, and he never could hide anything from him. He still can't. "She had dark hair, Duke. Brown. Black. I dunno. Somewhere in the middle. Fuck. I can't believe I'm tellin' you all this..." "My god, you are bored. With a capital 'B.' When in blazes did you start looking at brunettes, Johnny? All the years I've known ya, you've always had this thing for blondes. `S why I knew Barb had it made. What's her name?" "I dunno." "What, ya didn't talk to her?" "No. Why should I have talked to her? An' besides, she was busy readin'." "Well what was she readin'? You can tell a lot about people from the stuff they read. D'you get a glimpse?" "No. I didn't. The line for the coffee got short, so I couldn't see." He rubbed the bridge of his nose in an attempt to hide the guilty expression on his face. It was a lie, of course, a bald-faced lie. One that would get Duke off his back. For once. Even for a little while. He could only hope and pray that Duke would understand and just leave it the hell alone... 'Hell, Duke... If I told ya what she was readin', you might as well call Barb now an' tell her that her husband oughta be locked up in a padded room with the key thrown out. Never let him near the family again. Ever.' He could still see it, in his mind's eye. The title of the book that pretty girl had been reading at that shit-hole excuse for a coffee house across the street from the station house. Cult Sex. Pure an' simple. No pictures, no borders, no graphics, no nothin'. Just the plain ol'title, smack dab in the middle, where he supposed it rightly should be, for a topic of that strange magnitude. Cult Sex. An' nothin' but. Like that was supposed to make any sense. Thinking back on it now, he couldn't help but laugh at himself somehow. How could he ever be attracted to someone like that? Someone so young, someone so overtly liberated and confident and comfortable with herself enough not to feel even an ounce of embarrassment at the thought of reading about Cult Sex in a coffee house full of people? Boredom, with a capital 'B', was the only answer that came to mind. "Fine. Don't tell me what the title was. Say, Johnny? Still thinkin' 'bout your little school girl, there?" He ignored Duke's grinning expression and shook his head. "Maybe you're right, Duke. Maybe I've just been bored lately." "Attaboy. Quit beatin' yourself up for bein' like everyone else, Johnny, alright? Lord knows, your life alone, this whole world alone will do enough of the beatin' up for ya. Just you wait an' see." "Yeah, I know." "So what was your other question?" "Oh. Right." Doggett frowned at the building they had been watching for a few hours. If the bastard they were looking for hadn't come out yet after all this time, then chances are he won't be coming out for another long while. He had a good feeling about this, though, had a good feeling that they'd have what they were sent for accomplished today, before he went home tonight. Home to his family. His. His wife. His son. His. Hell, if it were just boredom with a capital 'B' he was going through, then he'll live. He'll survive. Far worse things, far worse fates have befallen other men like him. He should be thankful. And he was, and is. Really, really is. "John? You said ya had two questions. What was the other one ab-" He shook his head and gave his long-time partner, friend and somewhat-mentor a small, confident smile. "Can I have the Sports section back now, please, Duke?" Duke Tomasick grunted in mild exasperation, folded up the Sports section and handed it to his partner, but not before he swatted Doggett's arm with it. "Johnny. Had me worried there. Thought there was somethin' more goin' on with you." "Nah. Nothin' more goin' on. Just promise me this, Duke, okay?" "Tell me an' I'll see if I can." "Everythin' I just said to you... All those things we talked about... This stays between you an' me, Duke, alright? Just us. Just you an' me. Promise?" Duke's spoken vow of secrecy, his nod of agreement, the sincere and earnest expression on his deeply-lined face-all these were simply afterthoughts to Doggett. He knew, without a doubt and without question, that Duke would never breathe a word of this to anybody. Not even to God, if Duke ever decided to pray to the Almighty again. "So how 'bout those Yankees, John-boy?" "You really askin'? I thought the Mets were your team, and that the Yankees are 'poor, incompetent, mother-fuckin' bastards?' Your words, not mine, by the way, Duke. Speakin' of which, you should really watch what you say about `em, 'cause if you actually take some time away from those strip joints and watch their games, you'll see why--" "God almighty. Enough already, Johnny. Ya can't convert me. Christ. I shouldn't have asked what the hell was wrong with you today. `S'like openin' up a can of worms every mornin' with you..." "Hey Duke?" "What, now what?" "Thanks." Duke reached over and pulled Doggett by the tip of his right ear, much to the younger man's dismay, and much to his yelped expression of protest at his partner's condescending gesture. "Nothin' to it, John-boy. Nothin' to it." Doggett pulled back, rubbing his ear in annoyance. "The hell was that for?" Duke shrugged and smiled at him in that usual fatherly way of his. "Nothin.' Just proud of ya. For thinkin' things through, not actin' on them the way I did when I was your age. You're gonna have one helluva family, Johnny. One hell of one. Trust me." "I do. I trust you. I believe you, Duke." "Don't just believe me, John. Come on. You make it happen, okay?" He nodded, all of a sudden feeling somewhat younger than he really is, and at the same time worrying about what he'd do when Duke retires two short years from now. "You still listenin' to me, John Jay?" "Yeah, Duke. I'm listenin'. I promise I'll make it happen." "You do that. Even when it gets rough with Barb an' li'l Luke sometimes, okay? Don't ever-" "Clock out... I know." "An' if there's anythin' else, you know I'm here to listen." Doggett nodded wordlessly. Somehow, he couldn't explain it, but he felt better, hearing Duke say those words. Perhaps because somehow, he knew, at the back of his mind, that he'd need his partner's presence once again, somehow, somewhere down the road. END Send feedback/comments to: snarky_freak@hotmail.com