Title: A Little Knowledge
Author: Rusty Armour (armour_rusty@hotmail.com)
Rating: PG-13
Summary: When a small town experiences a high number of domestic incidents 
for no apparent reason, Doggett and Reyes investigate and end up dealing 
with problems of their own.
Keywords: D/R, DRR, Comedy
Spoilers: Season 8 basically; quick references made to events in 
Roadrunners, This is Not Happening, Empedocles and Existence.
Disclaimer: You know the drill. The characters aren't mine but the property 
of Chris Carter and Twentieth Century Fox. Yada, yada, yah...
Author's Note: This is set some time after Existence and it is my first 
attempt to write a DRR. I had never participated in a fanfic challenge 
before, so I thought I'd give it a try. However, I think this is more comedy 
than romance, more strange than sultry. *g*
Warning: As far as I know Nede, Pennsylvania is a fictitious town, but in 
case it does exist...be careful!




"So because the rate of domestic violence has risen in Nede, Pennsylvania, 
Mulder thinks this is an X-File?"

"You have to admit that the numbers are pretty high, John, not to mention 
the fact that all of these reports were filed on the same night."

"Hell, back when I was on the force, this kind of thing happened all the 
time. You'd have these really quiet nights when you'd wonder if you were 
even in New York then, suddenly, all of this crap would pile up in the space 
of an hour. And you should have seen the kind of stuff that went down when 
there was a full moon. It...it would have made even Mulder's hair stand on 
end."

"I'm sure what you're saying is true, but we're talking about a town with 
only about 900 inhabitants, not New York City, and there was no full moon on 
Friday night."

"Hmm."

"Don't you think 52 reported incidents of domestic violence is a bit high 
for a place like Nede?"

"I guess." Doggett took a sip of his coffee, managing not to spill any on 
his shirt as Agent Reyes swerved sharply to the right to avoid a black cat 
that had run onto the road.

"Ah, you're just grumpy because I dragged you out of bed on a Sunday 
morning," said Reyes.

"You'd better believe it," grumbled Doggett. He looked over at Reyes' 
smiling face and grimaced. "God, how is it that you manage to be so damn 
perky in the morning? I shudder to think how many cups of coffee you must 
have had to get that way."

"I haven't had any," she blurted out. Her partner stared at her long and 
hard.

"That in itself must be an X-File."

"Or the fact that you're on your third cup and it seems to have made no 
difference at all," retorted Reyes.

"Well, maybe if I smoked a few cigarettes on top of that I'd - "

"I've had two this morning: *two*."

"Yeah, and one of them was at my house. The place is going to stink for 
days."

"I opened a window!"

"Fat lot of good that will do."

"I've been trying to cut down. I really have."

"Oh, is that why your hands are shaking?"

"They are not! God, what is with you today? I'd swear you were going out of 
your way to piss me off! It's a beautiful, sunny day, so shut your trap and 
enjoy it for once, dammit!" Doggett's mouth fell open, and for a full minute 
he was at a loss for a comeback.

"So I take it that you're channelling the Wicked Witch of the West and not 
Maria Von Trapp."

"I'm not channeling Fox Mulder either, John. If you have a problem with this 
case you should take it up with him. I was just the messenger, remember?"

"I'm sorry," said Doggett after a long, uncomfortable pause.

"That's okay. Buy me breakfast and you're forgiven," said Reyes with another 
smile.





"If I talk to one more person from Nede, I think I'll be forced to commit an 
act of violence myself," spoke Doggett as he and his partner walked quickly 
out of the town church.

"I'll admit they're a little..."

"Nuts?"

"Different."

"One of those church committee ladies was coming on to me!"

"No, three of them were coming on to you," answered Reyes, correcting him 
gently.

"I was trying to be modest."

"No, you were trying to cover your embarrassment." Reyes ducked as Doggett 
pretended to take a swipe at her head.

"So, in the seven or eight hours that we've been here, have we accomplished 
anything?" asked Doggett as they reached the car.

"Yes, I think we've accomplished a few things."

"Such as...?"

"Well, all of these incidents involve married couples."

"Most incidents of domestic violence involve married couples, yes."

"Or common law spouses."

"In Nede, Pennsylvania?"

"We also know from a few eye witness accounts that the people in question 
appeared to be fine before they started fighting. In fact, many of them were 
acting very...friendly toward each other."

"They were frisky?"

"They were in the throes of passion." Doggett laughed loudly.

"In the throes of passion?" he scoffed. "And we chose Niagara Falls as the 
honeymoon capital of the world. It has nothing on this place. Okay, so they 
were in 'the throes of passion' and then things turned sour. Do we have any 
idea why?"

"No, but I think there's some force at work here."

"Force?" Doggett paused, his hand on the car door. "I'm thinking drug cult 
myself."

"In the sleepy town of Nede?"

"Exactly. It would be the perfect set up." Doggett opened the car door and 
climbed into the driver's seat.

"I'm not picking up any negative energy," said Reyes, reaching for her 
seatbelt. Doggett rolled his eyes.

"Okay, so you don't think it's a drug cult, but these people have to have 
something in common."

"Oh, they do. They all went to the Nede Annual Fair on Friday night." 
Doggett lifted an eyebrow.

"The Nede Annual Fair? Oh, well, that explains everything. The excitement 
must have got to them, driven them out of their minds. Do you know how much 
sugar is in the average spool of cotton candy?"

"Look, I know it sounds crazy, but right now it's the only thing we have to 
go on. Mrs. Beatty, the lady in charge of the ladies square dancing society 
and the quilting bee - Stop it!" Reyes slapped Doggett on the arm as he 
began to laugh. "Mrs. Beatty gave me the name and address of the president 
of the Nede Annual Fair Committee. Her name is Ava Green. I thought if we 
spoke to her, she might be able to shed some light on these...incidents."

"And what does Ava Green do when she isn't acting as president of the Nede 
Annual Fair Committee?" asked Doggett, trying to keep a straight face.

"She bakes the best apple pies and fritters this side of Pennsylvania." 
Doggett leaned his head on the stirring wheel, his shoulders shaking. Reyes 
sighed. "Maybe I should drive."





"I'm not really sure if I can help you folks, but I'll try."

"We'd appreciate that, Mrs. Green," said Reyes, sitting down on the couch 
across from their hostess' armchair.  Doggett sat down beside Reyes, 
extracting his notebook from his jacket pocket. He began to scribble 
something down, and Reyes wondered if he had observed something during the 
short period of time they had been in Mrs. Green's home, or had suddenly had 
an important breakthrough. She glanced down at his notebook: he was writing 
out his grocery list.

Fighting the urge to throttle her partner, Reyes beamed a quick smile at 
Mrs. Green, who was watching both agents patiently.

Mrs. Green seemed like a good, honest woman. Reyes hadn't sensed anything 
from the woman that was disturbing. In fact, Mrs. Green seemed to emanate 
calmness and serenity. With her tight silver curls and pink-rimmed glasses, 
she looked like someone's sweet little grandmother. She probably was 
someone's sweet little grandmother.

"Mrs. Green, did you notice anything out of the ordinary on Friday night? 
Was anyone acting strangely?"

"More strangely than usual?" added Doggett in an undertone.

"Why, no, I don't think so," answered Mrs. Green, who hadn't heard Doggett's 
comment. "Of course, I was pretty busy at the time. I kept checking all the 
booths to make sure everyone had what they needed. I was also helping with 
the raffle and the bake sale."

"Selling your apple pies?" asked Doggett, looking up from his notebook. Mrs. 
Green smiled almost shyly.

"You've heard of my pies then, Agent...?"

"Doggett. And, yes, I heard they were the best pies this side of 
Pennsylvania." Reyes kicked his ankle and Mrs. Green blushed.

"That's very kind of you to say. Very kind. Unfortunately, this year I had a 
bad batch of apples. They didn't taste nearly as good as they have in the 
past. I didn't think it was fair to charge money for them, even though the 
proceeds from the bake sale go to the church...In the end, I gave them to 
the Social Committee to use for the pie eating contest."

"Pie eating contest...?" Reyes shot him a warning glance. "Oh, well, I'm 
sorry to hear that, Mrs. Green, though in my experience cooks are always 
their own worst critics."

"Oh, that's what you think, is it? Well, I'll just go and fetch one of this 
year's pies from the pantry and let you be the judge." Mrs. Green rose from 
her chair and headed out of the living room. Doggett grinned and placed his 
notebook back in his pocket. He looked up to find Reyes glaring at him.

"What?" he said, feigning innocence.

"I knew skipping lunch was a bad idea," replied Reyes.

"And I think somebody skipped their last cigarette break."

"Yes, I did skip it because I'm trying to cut down."

"I thought you were trying to quit."

"I am. I'm working up to it gradually."

"Cold turkey. It's the only way to do it, Monica."

"Do you know how hard that is?"

"Yes, I've done it."

"You smoked?"

"Yes. You seem surprised."

"Sorry...I didn't realize smoking was including among your list of vices." 
Doggett frowned.

"There's a list?"

"Yes." Doggett looked perturbed.

"What's on it?"

"Well, I'd say conning little old ladies into giving you apple pie would be 
near the top - Oh, Mrs. Green, let me help you with that." Reyes stood and 
relieved Mrs. Green of a tray with three cups of coffee, cream, sugar, two 
plates, two sets of cutlery, and the best apple pie that side of 
Pennsylvania. Reyes set the tray down on the table in front of the couch. 
Doggett wasted no time in helping himself to a slice of pie.

"Mrs. Green, can you think of any reasons why there should suddenly be so 
many incidents of domestic violence in Nede and why they would all occur on 
the night of the fair?"

"I wish I knew, Agent Reyes, I truly do. Why, this morning in church 
Reverend Hopper said - "

"This is the best pie I've ever tasted!" exclaimed Doggett.

"No, Agent Doggett, I don't think that's what he said," growled Reyes.

"Oh...uh...sorry. It's the still the best pie I've ever tasted, though."

"Ah, you're just saying that," said Mrs. Green, smiling.

"No, I'm not! It really is!"

"Oh, hush. What would your poor mother say?"

"She'd probably agree with me. If she didn't it would be the second best pie 
I've ever tasted." He looked at Reyes, who was trying to calm her inner 
spirit. "Agent Reyes, you've got to try some of this pie."

"Maybe later. At the moment, I'm trying to focus on this case."

"Screw the case. It's Sunday for cryin' out loud. Eat some damn pie!" Reyes 
cleared her throat and glanced quickly at Mrs. Green. "Oh. Sorry, Mrs. 
Green."

"That's quite all right, Agent Doggett. I've been known to say a few choice 
words myself on a Sunday. Why, only this morning - "

"Mmmm! This pie's delicious!" raved Reyes, her mouth full of apple and flaky 
crust.





"I can't believe we ate the whole thing," moaned Reyes as they walked to the 
car.

"Yeah, who knew you could pack it away like that? I guess you really are 
trying to quit. Your appetite's returning." Doggett waited for the 
retaliation, but Reyes was patting her stomach in concern.

"I never even thought of that..." She quickly fumbled in her blazer pocket 
for her pack of cigarettes.

"Oh, no you don't," said Doggett, reaching for her hand.

"I just need one. Just let me have one." He grabbed her arm and attempted to 
wrestle the pack from her.

"No!" Reyes tried to pull away and found herself backing up against the side 
of the car. For an instant they were only inches apart. Reyes could feel 
Doggett's breath against her cheek. Then he stepped back, releasing his grip 
on her arm.

"I'll be in the car," he said quietly. "We'll drive back to the motel when 
you're done.

"Okay." Doggett walked around to the driver's side and unlocked the door. 
Reyes expected to hear it slam, but he closed it almost gently. Reyes' hand 
shook as she pulled a cigarette from the pack. She managed to light it on 
the second try and took a deep drawl.

What the hell had just happened? And why was it that when Doggett had 
released her arm, she had wanted to beg him not to let it go? Had she really 
sensed what she thought she had sensed from him?

It was nicotine withdrawal. It had to be. She puffed harder and waited until 
the cigarette was almost too tiny to hold before she ground it under her 
shoe. Then she turned to open the car door. Doggett was staring at her.

She looked down quickly at her blazer to make sure here was no cigarette ash 
on the fabric or a wisp of smoke billowing from her chest. She had never 
managed to set herself on fire before, but there was a first time for 
everything.

When Reyes lifted her eyes again Doggett was no longer looking at her, but 
drumming the steering wheel with his fingers. She opened the door and slid 
into the passenger seat.

"Back to the motel?" she asked.

"Back to the motel," he answered. He turned the key in the ignition, and 
Reyes closed her eyes. The only thing she was sensing from him now was 
irritation. She must have imagined it then. The idea of John Doggett having 
feelings for her that even remotely resembled desire was ridiculous.

"Have you done something to your hair?" Reyes jumped.

"What?"

"Have you done something to you hair?" repeated Doggett. "It looks... 
different."

"I went to the hairdresser yesterday afternoon," ventured Reyes. "I was 
feeling kind of adventurous so I told Sylvie to cut off an inch instead of 
half an inch." She fingered her hair nervously as if she was suddenly 
questioning her decision.

"I like it," said Doggett, briefly flicking his eyes from the road to her 
face. "It's pretty."

"Why...uh...thank you." Reyes could feel her cheeks burning and her heart 
had started beating wildly. He had noticed her hair! How often did any man, 
let alone John Doggett, notice a woman's new haircut? The odds against such 
an event occurring were practically astronomical and, yet, John had noticed 
her hair!

She stole a glance at him. His jaw was set and his eyes were fixed firmly on 
the road. Suddenly she wanted that intense gaze to be fixed on her. She had 
always found his eyes startling. They held so many layers of emotion, each 
subtle variation of blue representing some inner part of him...

"You have the biggest bluest eyes I have ever seen," she blurted out. 
Doggett's foot hit the break. Fortunately, there were no cars behind them. 
He pulled over to the side of the road.

"What did you say?" he croaked.

"You heard me." Doggett shook his head.

"No. I think I must have been hearing things." Reyes ran a finger lightly 
across his cheekbone.

"Were you?" she asked softly.

"Monica, are you coming on to me?" he asked hoarsely.

"I could ask you the same question."

"I...don't know. It's been so long since I've tried to come on to anybody 
that I'm not even sure if I know how to anymore."

"Everything seems fine from where I'm sitting, John."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Oh, yeah." They stared at each other for a long moment then Doggett leaned 
forward and kissed Reyes gently on the lips.

"Now that was better than 'fine,'" murmured Reyes with a smile. She lay her 
hand on the back of his head, her fingers playing with his hair.

They kissed again, more eagerly this time, their tongues almost meeting...

Doggett pulled away from Reyes abruptly. She stared at him in surprise and 
curiosity. His eyes were wide. He looked horrified.

"What the hell's going on here?" he gasped.

"Now, come on, John, I know you might be a little out of practice, but - "

"We're partners. This...this isn't supposed to be happening! It isn't right. 
You must see that."

"I...I guess."

"It's this town. It's doing something to us. It's affecting our behaviour."

"And you say Mulder's paranoid," mumbled Reyes. Doggett glared at her.

"Why is it that today we suddenly can't keep our hands off each other when 
we've managed to work together before without the faintest hint of 
attraction?"

Speak for yourself, thought Reyes.

"This kind of thing doesn't just happen in the blink of an eye, Monica."

"Doesn't it?" Reyes laid a hand on his thigh.

Thirty seconds later the car was in motion again.

"When we get to the motel, I'll grab our stuff while you check us out, 
okay?" Reyes frowned but nodded.





The car screeched into the Nede Motor Inn parking lot, hurtling into the 
nearest available spot. The driver leapt out as soon as the key was out of 
the ignition and he was free of his seat belt. The passenger emerging from 
the vehicle moved more slowly, blinking as bright rays from the setting sun 
hit her in the face.

Agent Doggett had started sprinting towards the motel. Reyes calmly pulled 
out her pack of cigarettes and extracted one from the box.

"What are you doing?" yelled Doggett. "We don't have time for that!"

The hell we don't, thought Reyes. She placed a cigarette between her lips 
and reached for the lighter. It was in her hand when Doggett snatched it 
from her and yanked the cigarette from her mouth.

"What is your problem?" demanded Doggett.

"What is *my* problem? You're the one running around like a madman. I think
*you're* the one with the problem."

"We're infected by something, something that is causing us to act 
irrationally." Reyes rolled her eyes.

"You're the one being irrational. I feel perfectly fine." Doggett grabbed 
her by the shoulders and shook her.

"Dammit, Monica, why are you so..." He trailed off, staring into her dark, 
bewildered eyes. "Beautiful..."

Suddenly he was kissing her passionately, relentlessly. Reyes ran her 
fingers through his hair, her lips responding enthusiastically. When they 
finally broke apart, both agents were gasping for air.

"Thadda boy," said Reyes.





"Coming through!" The hotel clerk looked up from his comic book in 
astonishment. A man in a suit had burst through the front door carrying a 
woman in a charcoal blazer and skirt.

"Is she hurt? Should I call the hospital?" asked the clerk in concern.

"She's not hurt," said the man.

"Not yet anyway," purred the woman with a feral smirk. The clerk gulped.

"Room 11," said the man.

"What?"

"The key. Room 11," repeated the man impatiently. The clerk searched for the 
key, watching the strange pair from the corner of his eye.

"Hurry!" barked the man. "This ain't no Sunday picnic!"

"Yes, sir!" yelped the clerk. He produced the key quickly and handed the man 
a message on a yellow sticky note. "Mr. Mulder just called. He said it was 
important."

"Screw Mulder," growled the man.

"No, screw me," whispered the woman. She snatched the key from the clerk's 
hand, and the man took off down the hall.





It took a couple of minutes to open the door. Reyes had started nibbling on 
Doggett's ear and found it challenging to fit the key in the lock at the 
same time.

"Monica, honey, as beautiful and skillful as you are, you're no 
featherweight. I'm going to end up dropping you soon if you don't hurry up." 
Reyes sighed and pushed the key in the lock.

The door handle was a bit of a struggle as it was rusting and Reyes wasn't 
in the best position to tackle it. In the end Doggett kicked it open and 
stumbled into the room, dumping Reyes unceremoniously on the bed. Reyes 
grabbed him by the tie and pulled him down on top of her.

Doggett began nuzzling his partner's neck. Reyes kept concentrating on his 
tie, unravelling the knot and freeing it from his collar.

"We really shouldn't be doing this," said Doggett gruffly as Reyes started 
unbuttoning his shirt.

"No, we shouldn't, John," she agreed as she reached the last button. The two 
agents eyed each other for a moment. They both looked down at the button. 
Then Doggett himself popped it out of the hole and removed his shirt.

Now, thought Reyes, if he would only get rid of his undershirt too...

Doggett pulled the offending object off and flung it across the room, his 
hungry eyes never leaving Reyes.

Please don't be gentle with me, thought Reyes, as he dove down to her 
breasts.



                                  *    *    *    *



"You still can't reach them?" said Mulder.

"No, I can't get through to either of them. I think they've turned off their 
cell phones, which doesn't sound like them at all, Mulder." His hands 
tightened on the steering wheel. It was 10:47 pm and Mulder's black car was 
tearing down Junction #6 towards the Nede Motor Inn.

Mulder had been a little concerned when he hadn't been able to reach either 
Doggett or Reyes. Then Scully had received the medical reports from the 
hospital. They had found a mysterious compound in the couples they had 
tested, which they believed could have contributed to the high number of 
domestic incidents. The serotonin levels had been alarmingly low and the 
testosterone levels surprisingly high. Scully had suggested that they 
perform a CAT scan on some of the couples to determine if any areas of the 
limbic system had been affected, such as the amygdala. The amygdala, she had 
explained to Mulder, was the part of the limbic system that controlled anger 
and aggression. Mulder had simply nodded, his concern for Doggett and Reyes 
going up a notch.

When Mulder still couldn't contact Doggett or Reyes two hours later, he had 
decided to go to Nede and Scully had insisted on going with him. Her mother 
was staying with her and could look after William. She had argued that even 
if Doggett and Reyes weren't in trouble, she wouldn't mind examining the 
medical evidence more closely. She had spoken as if the trip was just a 
matter of satisfying her own scientific curiosity more than anything else, 
but Mulder knew better.

"Scully, is it a right turn or a left turn at the next intersection?" asked 
Mulder. Scully glanced down at the map quickly.

"Left," she answered.

"Ah, here we are," stated Mulder as he spotted the large sign several feet 
away. "Nede, Pennsylvania. We should be at the motel in about two minutes."

"Do you really think they're there?"

"I don't know. It would make things a helluva lot easier if they were, 
wouldn't it?"





Mulder and Scully found a small crowd gathered by the reception desk when 
they walked into the Nede Motor Inn. The majority of the people were wearing 
pyjamas and housecoats. A flustered looking clerk was on the phone.

"Excuse me but is there a problem here?" Scully asked an older woman with a 
pink flannel nightgown and curlers in her hair.

"Yeah, I'll say. This couple is fighting."

"Loudly," added the balding man beside her.

"They've both been screamin' and yellin' at the top of their lungs."

"And throwing things," said another woman in plaid pyjamas. "I'm sure I 
heard a lamp break or something crash against the wall. I'm in the room 
beside theirs, unfortunately." Scully looked at Mulder, who seemed faintly 
amused.

"Uh...maybe we should..." She waved a hand at the stressed clerk, and Mulder 
nodded. They walked over to the desk.

"Oh, hi," mumbled the clerk, who was still clutching the phone as if it was 
a life preserver.

"We understand that you've been having problems with two of your guests, 
sir," spoke Scully.

"You aren't from the Sheriff's Department by any chance, are you?" asked the 
clerk, his voice sounding almost hopeful.

"No, but I'm a Federal agent." The clerk put down the receiver.

"I've been trying to reach the Sheriff's Department for the past 20 minutes, 
but I haven't been able to get through," confided the clerk to Scully. "I 
don't suppose you could...uh..."

"We'll get right on it, sir."

"Thanks," said the clerk, sounding vastly relieved. "Room 11 is just down 
that hall. If you need anything just dial zero."

"We'll do that," said Scully. She placed a hand on Mulder's elbow and they 
both hurried down the hall.

They would have been able to find the room even if they didn't know the 
number. They could hear shouting from several feet away.

When they reached Room 11, Mulder knocked loudly on the door. There was no 
answer, only raised voices.

"Federal agent!" yelled Scully through the door. "Open up!" The room 
suddenly went quiet. There was a brief pause and then the door opened.

A pair of angry blue eyes glared at them from across the threshold. A man 
was standing in the doorway wearing nothing but a pair of boxers and an 
undershirt.

"Agent Doggett?" exclaimed Mulder and Scully in disbelief.

"What the hell do you want?"



                                   *    *    *    *



Mulder and Scully gaped at Doggett for several seconds. Doggett crossed his 
arms.

"Well?" he demanded.

"Agent Doggett, were you the one doing all the yelling?" asked Mulder.

"No, I wasn't doing all the yelling."

"HA!" came a sharp retort from inside the room.

"I only did about a third of the yelling," snapped Doggett over his 
shoulder. "Agent Reyes did the rest."

"Oh, sure, blame me! You blame me for everything else!"

"If the shoe fits, lady - Hey, do you mind?" Mulder and Scully pushed their 
way past Doggett.

"Oh, my God," said Scully. The room looked like it had been hit by a storm. 
The lamp the woman in the plaid pyjamas had thought she had heard crashing 
against the wall, lay on the floor in pieces. There were also two broken 
wine bottles, two toppled wooden chairs, a duvet and several articles of 
clothing strewn across the room. Reyes was stretched out on the bed, smoking 
a cigarette and wearing what could only be her partner's shirt.

"Oh, my God," repeated Scully.

"Ah, Jesus Christ, Monica! I told you not to light up in here!" shouted 
Doggett. "First you stink up my house and now my motel room!"

"I'm surprised you could smell it. With those gigantic ears of yours, I 
would have thought your hearing would have dominated the other four senses, 
Dumbo!"

"Ouch!" said Mulder in sympathy.

"Dumbo?" hissed Doggett. "Dumbo!"

"If the shoe fits - " began Reyes.

"At least what I see, smell and *hear* is real and not imaginary."

"Oh, I don't know. You seem to have imagined that you're better than 
everyone else."

"If we're talking about you, I don't have to imagine anything. I *know* I'm 
better!"

"I'm sorry. I was wrong about your ears. It's your head that's gigantic!"

"This coming from the woman who has enough empty space in her head to fill 
the Grand Canyon?" snarled Doggett.

"Dumbo!"

"Flake!"

"Timeout!" screamed Scully. Doggett and Reyes stared at the red-haired woman 
as if it had just occurred to them that she was in the room. "You've both 
been exposed to some kind of contagion, an unexplained chemical compound. It 
has affected certain areas of the limbic system, probably the prefrontal 
cortex and possibly the amygdala." Doggett and Reyes looked confused.

"Some bug got into your systems and messed with your brains," translated 
Mulder.

"So you're saying there's something wrong with us," said Doggett.

"Yes, I think there's something wrong with you," answered Scully wearily.

"Hey, you hear that, Monica? I was right. I knew we had to get out of this 
town."

"Go to hell!" spat Reyes.

"Children," warned Mulder, trying not to smile.

"Mulder, I think we'd better take them to the hospital. We still can't be 
sure what the full affects of this compound might be," said Scully.

"I think we've pretty much seen the full affects of the compound, Scully!"

"Still, I think we should get the hospital to run some tests. Agent Doggett, 
do you have any idea what could have...?" Scully trailed off when she saw 
that Doggett wasn't listening to her. He was staring at Reyes, who appeared 
to be looking for an ashtray.

Doggett, Scully and Mulder watched in fascination as she looked around the 
room. Finally her eyes caught a glimpse of one of Doggett's black shoes. She 
leaned over the side of the bed and stubbed her cigarette against the sole.

"That," growled Doggett, "*was* my second best pair of shoes, you 
black-lunged, nicotine-dependent bitch."

"Oh, crap!" cried Mulder as Doggett took off across the room. Reyes screamed 
as Doggett leapt onto the mattress. Mulder grabbed Doggett around the waist 
and managed to pull him down.

"Let go of me!" shouted Doggett as Mulder continued to drag him away from 
the bed.

"Scully, get her out of here!" said Mulder. Scully ran to the bed.

"Agent Reyes, let's go back to your room," she spoke gently, taking Reyes' 
arm.

"We can't. I haven't got my key," answered Reyes, who rose from the mattress 
all the same.

"That's okay. We'll get it from the front desk." She guided Reyes around the 
broken glass and past Mulder and Doggett, who were wrestling on the floor.

"New Age bimbo!" croaked Doggett from a headlock.

"Dumbo!"

"Trailer trash psychic!"

"Backwoods hick!"

"I ain't no hick!" hollered Doggett, managing to break free from Mulder's 
grasp.

"Hey, Doggett," said Mulder.

"What?" A fist smashed into Doggett's face.

"Mulder hit John," said Reyes in wonder as Scully pushed her out the door.

"Yes, he did."

"You're a doctor. Shouldn't you do something?"

"I'll check on him later. Right now I'm more concerned about you, Agent 
Reyes."

"Me? Why? I feel fine." Scully took in Reyes' messy hair and wide pupils. 
Her eyes lingered longest on Doggett's shirt.

"I hate to say it, but I think this may be something you'll regret in the 
morning."





"Somebody hit me," groaned Doggett, opening his eyes. He saw a large blurry 
shape looming over him. He blinked a few times and the indistinct shape 
became a face. "You hit me."

"Yes, that was me, Agent Doggett," said Mulder, applying some ice in a towel 
to Doggett's eye.

"Why'd you do that?" demanded Doggett, grimacing as he slowly sat up.

"To try to prevent you and Agent Reyes from killing each other," replied 
Mulder, helping Doggett to his feet. "Come on, let's sit you down on the 
bed."  Mulder navigated them both through the mess on the floor. Then they 
both plopped down on the edge of the mattress and studied the room in 
disbelief.

"This isn't good, is it?" asked Doggett.

"No, it isn't, Agent Doggett." Doggett nodded glumly. Both men stared at the 
mess on the floor again.

"So...you slept with Agent Reyes." Doggett shut his eyes and exhaled 
sharply.

"Yes." He opened his eyes cautiously. Mulder slapped him on the back and 
grinned like a teenager.

"Now I know where they got the 'Dog' in 'Doggett'! You dog, you!"





Although Dana Scully didn't possess any empathic abilities to speak of, she 
had a feeling Agent Reyes wasn't doing too well. When she had returned to 
Reyes' room at 2:14 am with some Rocky Road ice cream, she had found the 
woman hiding under the duvet on the bed.

Scully had tried unsuccessfully to coax the other agent out of hiding, but 
Reyes had declared that she was never going to show her face again.

"You can't stay under there forever," argued Scully.

"Wanna bet?"

"Look, I know things seem bad right now - "

"I slept with John Doggett!" wailed the voice under the duvet. "Things 
couldn't get any worse!"

"Well, there you go," replied Scully, forcing herself to sound cheerful. 
"You can only go up from here." A bitter laugh came from under the duvet.

"What are you trying to do, Dana? Audition for the role of Pollyanna?" 
Scully gritted her teeth.

"I was trying to think what you would say if our roles were reversed."

"If our roles were reversed, Mulder wouldn't have just punched Agent 
Doggett: he would have put him in traction!"

"Oh, I don't know about that...Do you really think so?"

"God, Dana, I slept with John! What am I going to do?"

"You could talk to him," suggested Scully.

"Are you crazy? I can't face him right now. I'm not sure if I can ever face 
him again..."

"He's your partner. It's going to be pretty hard to avoid him."

"I'll...I'll get a transfer, see if I can go back to the New Orleans 
office."

"You'd run away?"

"If it meant sparing us both the humiliation of facing each other again, 
yes!"

"You're both adults. You can get past this."

"How? By denying it ever happened?" Reyes groaned. "Dana, he hasn't been 
divorced all that long. Not really. For all I know he's still in love with 
his wife!"

"Ex-wife," corrected Scully. "And if anyone would know, I thought it would 
be you. Were they planning to reconcile?"

"I don't know...No, I don't think so."

"Then maybe this wasn't such a bad thing."

"What?" The duvet flew off, and Scully found herself looking into Reyes' red 
eyes.

"Maybe it's time he moved on. All work and no play makes Jack - "

"No. Oh, no. We hardly ever see eye to eye on anything. He makes fun of my 
beliefs and won't open up to new possibilities despite everything he has 
seen and experienced. He...he thinks I'm a flake," concluded Reyes, 
blushing.

"And yet he called you in when we were looking for Mulder, trusted you to 
keep me safe when I had to go into hiding, chose you when he needed a new 
partner. Doesn't sound like 'flake' material to me, Agent Reyes." Scully 
squeezed Reyes' shoulder, managing to coax a tiny smile from the other 
agent. Then there was a knock on the door. Reyes' eyes widened in panic.

"Don't let him in! Don't let him in!" she hissed, throwing the duvet back 
over her head. Scully stared at the form under the covers in disbelief and 
walked towards the door.

"Hi, Mulder," she said loudly.

"Hi, Scully," replied Mulder, also speaking loudly. Scully pointed silently 
to the figure hiding under the duvet.

"Oh," mouthed Mulder. "I'm glad to see that things are going just as well in 
the women's camp as the men's camp," he spoke aloud.

"Agent Doggett isn't hiding under the covers too, is he?"

"No, but he asked me to hit him again - a few times - and wanted my advice 
on how to write a good letter of resignation."

"He's talking about resigning?" asked Scully with a laugh. "Well, he's one 
step ahead of Agent Reyes. She's only talking about transferring."

"I guess Agent Doggett doesn't believe in doing anything by half measures, 
does he? Damn. I knew I shouldn't have left him alone with that mini bar."

"Mulder..."

"When I left his room, he was trying to break into the mini bar. I think he 
might do it too."

"Sixty Seconds Jack," muttered Scully, remembering Doggett's claims to 
hotwiring fame during the Jesus slug case.

"Scully, don't you think the poor man's been insulted enough already?" 
Scully snapped out of the memory.

"What?"

"I don't know what Reyes has been telling you," whispered Mulder, "but 
timing his performance like that - "

"Mulder!" She swatted Mulder's arm. "I was referring to his hotwiring 
abilities, you moron!"

"His hotwiring - What?"

"Never mind."

"No, I want to know."

"Maybe later. Right now I'm going to go check on Sixty Seconds Jack."

"You just want to see if he broke into the mini bar or not."

"That's right. Look after Agent Reyes for me."

"As if I wouldn't."

"Be nice, Mulder." He spread his hands placatingly.

"Scully..."

"I'll be back soon."

"Smelling of booze no doubt," quipped Mulder as Scully went out the door. 
After closing it behind her, Mulder walked over to the bed.

"So you slept with Agent Doggett," he said.



                                  *    *    *    *



She had managed to avoid him for three days. She had debated calling in sick 
and  then hadn't seen much point: he'd know she was lying. In the end, she 
just hadn't gone in at all. He hadn't questioned it.

Scully had called her every day, trying to convince her to face Doggett, to 
get it over with so they could both move on. She had refused.

Finally Scully had shown up at her apartment, with William in tow, and had 
informed Reyes that if she wasn't going to go to work, she could at least do 
something productive with her time: go shopping.

Scully had happily spent about $200 on clothes while Reyes watched William, 
but she hadn't been tempted to buy anything. Then she saw it sitting all 
alone in the toy store. Scully had laughed and talked her into buying it. 
Reyes had done so and was now regretting the purchase, especially as she had 
left it on Doggett's porch with a note she had written.

For the past hour she had been feeling increasingly nauseous. She glanced at 
the clock again. It was almost 7:30. If he was keeping anything resembling 
regular hours for once, he might already be home by now. He might have seen 
it...

The buzzer sounded and Reyes leapt to her feet in panic.

"Yes?" she asked nervously, speaking into the intercom.

"It's Dumbo."

"Oh, Sh - Come on up, John." Reyes paced the room for a few moments, biting 
her thumbnail. She reached for the pack of cigarettes on the table and just 
managed to stop herself from lighting one. She stuffed the cigarette back in 
the box and threw the pack behind her couch.

There was a knock on the door. Reyes took a deep breath and opened it.

Dumbo the elephant was peeking at her from around the door-frame, his trunk 
vibrating slightly as he danced up and down.

"Please come in...Dumbo. You can invite your friend in too if you'd like." 
Doggett's head popped out.

"Hey, how did she find out I was here? Did you give me away?" he asked the 
stuffed animal. Reyes smiled despite herself and just managed to meet his 
eyes. There was a bruise around one. Mulder's punch, she gathered. She 
stepped back, and Doggett shuffled into the apartment.

"I...uh...got your note and uh..." Doggett rattled the stuffed animal in the 
air. He directed a quick glance in her direction. "It was nice of you to 
rescue him from that lonely life in the store." Reyes shrugged.

"It was Dana's idea."

"Really? Well, you still provided him with a new home."

"I thought he'd like a house more than an apartment."

"More room to fly?"

"Something like that...Can I get you something? Some...um...coffee?"

"Sure." Doggett sat down on the couch with Dumbo, and Reyes retreated into 
her kitchenette.

"Mulder called me this morning," said Doggett.

"Oh?"

"One of the doctors called him from the hospital. They know where that 
mysterious compound came from..." Reyes froze and the spoon with the coffee 
grounds hovered above the filter.

"Where?" she asked cautiously.

"Well, you're not going to believe this but Mrs. Green's apples."

"What?"

"Mulder worked it out a couple of days ago. He had me list everything I 
could remember us being exposed to after we arrived in Nede. The apple pie 
was the common denominator."

"But Mrs. Green wouldn't have...I didn't sense - "

"She didn't know. That mysterious compound they found in everyone's 
bloodstream was present in an apple they analyzed at the lab. They think the 
soil in the orchard must be contaminated, and that this compound leached 
into the bark of the trees. They'll know when they've finished going over 
the soil samples."

"Oh." Reyes turned on the coffee maker and walked into the living room 
slowly. "So this compound - "

"Okay, this is their theory. Granted, it's still a working theory. They 
think this compound somehow affected the limbic system, that part of the 
brain that controls our emotions and stuff."

"Right."

"They think the compound hindered the communication between the limbic 
system and the prefrontal cortex."

"You've been talking to Scully, haven't you?"

"No, but I've been talking to Mulder, who spoke to Scully, so it's almost 
the same thing," replied Doggett with a smile. "In any case, because the 
prefrontal cortex wasn't functioning properly, we were...uh...acting 
irrationally. Our serotonin levels had also dropped, which explains why we 
were...uh...screaming at each other. Supposedly adolescents have the same 
problem, though to a lesser degree and with less drastic results...most of 
the time."

"So it's sex, drugs, rock and roll and problems with the prefrontal lobe?"

"Uh...yeah. I guess. Keep in mind, though, that it's just a working theory."

"Well, it's something, at least." Reyes stood up and was about to return to 
the kitchen when it clicked. "Hold on! Why did it only affect those couples 
and no one else in Nede?" Doggett grinned.

"I was hoping you'd ask me that. Remember how Mrs. Green said she had 
donated all those pies to the pie eating contest?"

"Yes."

"Well, it turns out the pie eating contest was only open to married couples. 
  Apparently the Social Committee was inspired by this sermon the Reverend 
Hopper had preached about marital devotion and fidelity."

"The idea being that the couple who ate the most pies had the best 
marriage?" asked Reyes in disbelief. "But that's just..."

"Crazy?"

"Different," said Reyes firmly. "Actually, it sounds a lot like an X-File." 
Doggett sighed.

"Yes, it does sound like an X-File. And before you say it: yes, I do realize 
that you and Mulder were right." Reyes smiled brightly but chose not to rub 
it in. She went to check on the coffee instead.

"I was actually thinking of coming to see you before I got your note," 
stated Doggett after listening to Reyes putter around her kitchen for a few 
minutes.

"Why didn't you?"

"I thought you could use some space, that you'd come back when you were 
ready." He studied the stuffed animal, fiddling with its little hat.

"Was that the only reason?" asked Reyes, who knew it wasn't.

"No, as I'm sure you've 'sensed' already, I chickened out." Reyes grinned as 
she poured the coffee. She could relate.

"At least you showed up for work," she said. "I've been hiding out here."

"That's...understandable."

"No, it was immature and selfish."

"You were hurting."

"No, I was just embarrassed and...ashamed." Doggett stood up immediately and 
walked into the kitchenette.

"Now you listen to me," he said, placing a hand on her shoulder. "You've got 
nothing to be ashamed of. Do you understand?" Reyes turned and looked into 
his solemn blue eyes.

"You tried to stop it and I..."

"You what?" Reyes looked down at the floor.

"I...I seduced you," she answered quietly.

"What?" Doggett started to laugh, and Reyes looked up in surprise. "Is this 
how it's playing out, then? You've cast yourself in the role of Jezebel? 
Monica, I said I was a bit out of practice, not a beginner. If you were 
hoping to corrupt me, I'm afraid you missed the boat...a couple of decades 
ago."

"No, it's not that," said Reyes, shaking her head.

"Then what?"

"I just...I wasn't sure if you were ready and even if you were ready...I 
mean, you haven't been divorced that long and I'm sure you probably still 
have feelings - "

"No. It's over," said Doggett firmly.

"But sometimes I feel - "

"Monica, it fell apart the day we found Luke. You were there. You must have 
seen it." Reyes hesitated then nodded sadly. "We weren't planning to get 
back together, so if you think what happened in Nede somehow...We're 
divorced and nothing is going to change that."

"You still have feelings for her."

"All right, I still have feelings for her, yes. I'm human. I can't turn my 
feelings on and off no matter how much I'd like to...uh...What I mean to say 
is..." Reyes broke eye contact and grabbed the cups of coffee she had 
poured.

"Come on, we should drink this before it gets cold." They walked back to the 
couch and drank their coffee in silence.

"I should be going," said Doggett when his cup was only about half empty. He 
rose, grabbing Dumbo from the table.

"John."

"Yes?"

"I...I need to ask you a favour."

"Sure. Anything. What is it?"

"Will you kiss me?" Doggett gaped at her.

"Huh?" Reyes blushed.

"I...uh...I have to know if I've...uh..."

"Recovered?" asked Doggett in amusement. Reyes nodded earnestly.

"All right, then." He sat back down on the couch, cupping her face with one 
hand. Then he leaned in slowly and kissed her tenderly.

"I didn't feel anything," said Reyes.

"No...me neither."

"That's good."

"Yeah. Good."

"Everything's back to normal, then."

"As if nothing ever happened."

"Great."

"Yes, absolutely." An awkward silence descended.

"Well, thanks for stopping by," said Reyes at last.

"Well, thanks for the note and...uh...Dumbo...Are you coming in tomorrow?"

"Yes, I'm coming in, John."

"Good. I'm glad to hear it. It's been a bit too quiet down there, spooky 
even without Spooky."

"Then I'll definitely be in tomorrow, bright and early."

"Great."

"Good night, John."

"Night, Monica. Sleep well."

"You too. Oh, and look after Dumbo."

"I will. Take care."

Doggett made it to the door and slipped out quickly. Reyes leaned back on 
the couch, closed her eyes, and started to cry.