1)Friend A simple friend has never seen you cry.
A real friend has shoulders soggy from your tears.
A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names.
A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.
A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A real friend comes early to help you cook and clean.
A simple friend hates it when you call after he has gone to bed.
A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.
A simple friend seeks to talk with you about their problems.
A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.
A simple friend wonders about your romantic history.
A real friend could blackmail you with it.
A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself.
A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.
A real friend knows that it's not a friendship until after u've had a fight.
A simple friend expects you to always be there for them.
A real friend expects to always be there for you!
A simple friend will read and throw this letter away.
A real friend will keep sending it until he's sure it's been Received.
2) Some meaningful definitions....
Father :- A banker provided by nature.
Boss :- Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Smile :- A curve that can set a lot of things
straight.
Dictionary:- The only place
where divorce comes before marriage.
College :- A place where some pursue learning and others
learn pursuing.
Office :- A place where you can relax after your
strenuous homelife.
Etc. :- A sign to make others believe that you know
more than you actually do.
Marriage :- It is an agreement in which a man loses his
bachelor degree and woman gains her master's.
Worry :- Interest paid on trouble before it falls due.
Philosopher:-A fool who
torments himself during life, to be spoken off when dead.
Diplomat :- A person who tells you to go to hell in
such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
Optimist :- A person who starts taking bath if he
accidentally falls into a river.
Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the last letter
in ZERO, instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY
Miser :- A person who lives poor so that he can die
rich.
Politician:- One who shakes
your hand before elections and your confidence after.
Doctor :- A
person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
3) The poor guyIf you kiss her, you are not a gentleman
If you don't, you are not a man
If you praise her, she thinks you are lying
If you don't, you are good for nothing
If you agree to all her likes, you are a wimp
If you don't, you are not understanding
If you visit her often, she thinks it is boring
If you don't, she accuses you of double-crossing
If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy
If you don't, you are a dull boy
If you are jealous, she says it's bad
If you don't, she thinks you do not love her
If you attempt a romance, she says you didn't respect her
If you don't, she thinks you do not like her
If you are a minute late, she complains it's hard to wait
If she is late, she says that's a girl's way
If you visit another man, you're not putting in "quality time"
If she is visited by another woman, "oh it's natural, we are girls"
If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are cold
If you kiss her often, she yells that you are taking advantage
If you fail to help her in crossing the street, you lack ethics
If you do, she thinks it's just one of men's tactics for seduction
If you stare at another woman, she accuses you of flirting
If she is stared by other men, she says that they are just admiring
If you talk, she wants you to listen
If you listen, she wants you to talk
In short:
So simple, yet so complex
So weak, yet so powerful
So confusing, yet so desirable
So damning, yet so wonderful.....WOMEN!
4)KISSES ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::KISS on the hand means : FRIENDSHIP.
KISS on the nose means : YOU'RE CUTE.
KISS on the cheek means : I NEED YOU.
KISS on the neck means : I WANT YOU.
KISS on the lips means : I LOVE YOU.
KISSing with eyes closed means : I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU.
KISSing with eyes opened means : I'M WATCHING WHERE YOUR HANDS ARE GOING.
The military KISS means ..... "Keep It Simple Stupid" ....
Stolen KISSes ARE THE SWEETEST! (Always want to return it)
Morale of the story is ... Its not WHO you are
KISSING but WHERE you're KISSING that matters
Other signs.....
Often thinking of you means : I CARE FOR YOU
Holding hands means : I LIKE YOU
Looking into the eyes means : DO YOU LOVE ME?
Holding hands means : I LIKE YOU
Squeezing fingertips means : I WANT A KISS
Leaning on the shoulder means : COMFORT ME
Getting occasional short hugs means : I MISS YOU
Biting lips means : I AM JEALOUS
Winking at you means : I WANT TO GO WITH YOU
Playing with your hair means: I ADORE YOU
Stepping on toes means: I HATE YOU
Getting hit in "very painful places" means : I REALLY HATE YOU
Dreaming of you at night : YOU'RE SOMEONE SPECIAL
Always being with you means : I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU
Wearing his or her ring means: YOU'RE MINE FOREVER
Often giving you something means : CARE FOR YOU FOREVER
Often giving you something means : CARE FOR YOU VERY MUCH
Placing hands on shoulder means : GET THE HINT STUPID !!!
NOTE : SUCH SIGNS ARE NOT APPLICABLE TO OVERLY MARRIED COUPLESBUT CAN BE APPLICABLE TO PARTIALY MARRIED,GEOGRAPHICAL BACHELORS/SPINSTERS