Greetings from Amazon.com Delivers Women's Studies "Two out of five girls nationwide have had sexual rumors spread about them," writes Leora Tanenbaum. "Three out of four girls have received sexual comments or looks, and one in five has had sexual messages written about her in public areas." And during her teen years, Tanenbaum was one of those girls. In this essay, written exclusively for Amazon.com, she discusses how she came to write a book that combines feminist social criticism with searing personal accounts of emotional abuse. You can find "Slut! Growing Up Female with a Bad Reputation" at http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1888363940/entertainmentsit ****** "Why I Wrote 'Slut!'" by Leora Tanenbaum I never thought I would end up as the author of a book whose title is a four-letter word, but I wanted to educate people about the all-too-common experience of slut bashing. Just about every high school in the country has a designated slut. Being known as the school slut is terrifying: classmates gang up on you and kids yell out "slut," "whore," or "bitch" when you walk down the hallway or enter the cafeteria. It is a humiliating position to be in and one that far too many teenage girls--whose self-esteem may be already suffering--are subjected to. I'm in a position to know: I myself was known as a slut when I was a freshman in high school, 15 years ago. The reputation developed after I fooled around with a guy whom a popular friend of mine had her eye on. Big mistake. She was so angry with me that she spread the word around school that I was a slut. For a long time guys and girls both called me names to my face and whispered about me behind my back. Everyone gossiped about me. I discuss my personal experience in "Slut!"--and writing about it was cathartic, particularly since it's a slice of my life that I had never really discussed with anyone until now. Most people assume that if a girl is called a slut, she must deserve the reputation. And it's true that the school slut may exhibit a casual attitude about sex, and she may in fact be quite promiscuous. But when a guy is sexually active, no one stigmatizes him. To the contrary: he is congratulated for being a stud. The sexual double standard clearly didn't go away with the sexual revolution. I interviewed 50 girls and women who, like me, had been targeted as sluts. And the most surprising thing I discovered is that most of them had not actually been sexually active. Some of them had never even kissed a boy when they developed their reputations. The bottom line is that any girl can be picked on as a slut--including your daughter, niece, or sister. If you are a teenage girl, it could even happen to you. So how is a girl targeted in the first place? One factor is if she is an early developer or is just very busty. Another factor is if a girl is a social outsider--if she fails to conform in some way (new in school, overweight, a class minority, or considered "weird" for whatever reason). Also, a girl might be picked on if she is very attractive and has the attention of boys: this causes other girls to envy her, and sometimes they fabricate a rumor of sexual activity to make her less popular. Finally, when a girl is raped, either by a stranger or by someone she knows, most people are inclined to disbelieve her. They assume that the sex was consensual, and that therefore the girl must be a slut. When you are publicly humiliated, you develop coping mechanisms. Often these coping mechanisms are unhealthy. Many girls turn to alcohol or drugs. Many develop eating problems, especially if their reputations were stirred up by their physique. Many girls become severely depressed to the point of contemplating and attempting suicide. Many girls develop a real and serious hang-up about sex that persists into their adult years. If you are a parent, teach your daughters and sons that girls as well as boys have sexual feelings, and that sexual feelings are entirely normal. That way they won't have to pin their sexual anxieties on a scapegoat and then distance themselves from her. If you are an educator, know that slut bashing, if it is persistent and severe, is a form of sexual harassment, and that it is your legal obligation to ensure that the behavior stops. And if you are a teen, don't join in with your friends if they pick on a girl as a slut. Nobody deserves to be belittled in this way and, besides, you never know: you could be the next target yourself. Featured in this e-mail: "Slut! Growing Up Female with a Bad Reputation" by Leora Tanenbaum http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1888363940/entertainmentsit ****** You'll find more great books, articles, and interviews in Amazon.com's Women's Studies section at Books
Search:
Keywords: