"I've always been a big fan of award ceremonies. The glitz, the glamour, the distant chance that Bryan McFadden will pick a fight with So Solid Crew...
My all-time favourite awards moment has to be Billie Piper at the Smash Hits Awards. I bet she wasn't expecting the onslaught of abuse from all the hardcore 5ive fans. I couldn't work out if they where booing because she was shagging Ritchie Neville or because she'd decided to do her hair in a perm.
I got to go to my first awards this week - The Disney Kids Awards, which was hilarious. As I made my way to the stage via the fake tan-scented corridor I spotted Katie Price and Peter Andre canoodling in a corner. I persuaded our manager Darren to get The Big Chested One (Jordan) to sign my copy of her autobiography, which my mum's mate Anne got me for my 21st. (Anne always gets me books. My favourite is probably the Jane McDonald one.) Anyway, I managed to get the autograph but was a little put out by the fact that Ms Price had simply scribbled the word JORDAN on the inside. No message, no telephone number, not even a comedy drawing of a pair of tits like Leon said she always does. Now this simply is not on. When signing an autograph it's only fair to write a little message or something. The bloke from The Calling, for example, is great. I managed to blag a signed T-shirt at a roadshow this summer and afterwards our radio plugger told him I was such a big fan that he wrote on the shirt 'AARON - YOU ROCK!' What a guy! I will forever be buying his band's records - even the shit ones like the last one.
Mr Andre, though, will have to suffer due to his other half's autograph hiccup - unless he decides to ever re-release 'Flava' which me and Harry from Mcfly both agree is his finest 3 and a half minutes (Get on with it - ed)
We didn't win Best Newcomer at the Disney awards but we already knew we wouldn't, because we'd snuck into soundcheck and heard them call out McFly's name. We weren't really that bothered, especially because in the same soundcheck we also got to see Rachel Stevens rehearsing without any make up on. Leon said she looked a bit rough, but she had a see-through T-shirt on which more than made up for the lack of mascara. We did, however, get to open the show with 'Can U Feel It?', which was wicked, mostly because we got to come out of the floor on a lift. Just like Britney. Except with no snakes.
It's the Smash Hits awards soon which I really can't wait for. They have silly awards like Best Hair and Best Dimples and stuff so I think we've got a realistic chance of winning something, even if McFly are in the same category.
I've always wanted a Smash Hits Award. I once saw one in a shop window - it was one of the old-style big gold shiny ones, too, not one of those silly plastic exclamation mark things they have nowadays. I went and asked the dude in the shop how much it cost and nearly tripped over my converse when he said �350! Now, I was a poor popcorn seller back then so obviously couldn't afford it. Then I spotted that the award was actually for when Mero won Best Newcomer. So I quickly pointed this out and asked for a discount but the old bugger refused so I flounced off and went back to work.
But who knows, maybe I'll get to win one this year. In fact, Hot Potato readers, if you click on to www.smashhits.net you can be nice and vote for me. I'll take anything to be honest but Best Hair would be lovely. Thank you."