"The rubbishly titled X Factor sets out to find not one, or even two but three - three! - different acts: a young soloist, a teen pop act and an OAP (over 25) soloist. Normally when a new reality pop show starts you prepare yourself to wave goodbye to Saturday nights, to talk about nothing but who should or shouldn't have been voted out or put through to the next round and about how wrong or right Simon Cowell is. But by now we all know how these things end. We don't know the winners of course, but we also know how their careers will most probably finally end - in disaster.
Now don't get me wrong, I love reality TV. I still love Nadia and Channel 4's Location, Location, Location is fantastic. I even confess to buying Rik Waller's debut single and the second Gareth Gates album. (I'm not sure which is worse, but I still maintain that if Rik had done a sun-drenched video set in Rio with his top off his career might have lasted a bit longer.)
But while I'll probably be eating my words in five months' time, hasn't the whole reality pop TV bubble finally burst? Pop Idol 2 was by no means as good as the first, both Fame Academies were pretty crap and even Popstars: The Rivals wasn't very entertaining, despite putting together the fittest girlband since Precious AND having Davina 'Don't say fuck or bugger or The Vault' McCall presenting. And X Factor itself seems to me like the final scrape of the barrel, in terms of UK talent at least. And anyway, aren't Mr Cowell and his usual put downs a bit tired by now? Doesn't Louis Walsh hate anything unless he manages it? And what's with Sharon Osbourne being nice?
Even if the show itself is a huge success the chances are that the act which wins will be poorly managed, given a dodgy cover to sing and most probably forced to have inappropriate hair extensions. That's the thing you see, isn't the point of these shows to produce a future star we can all be proud of? After all, as they say, �We Decide� who wins. But what's the point of voting for someone talented one week only to see him/her/them fall into The Dumper the next?
My evidence:
Sarah Whatmore
Soo much sexier than Rachel yet all she has to show from her time on Pop Idol is a shelved album and a fallen-through duet with Abs.
Alex Parks
Big voice, nice sk8er girl vibe going on but, alas, no songs. Back to Cornwall she goes.
Ainslie Henderson
What a song! But again, where is he?
Obviously, like many of you, I'll be sat in front of TV every Saturday night hoping and willing X Factor to break the mould and give us some great pop acts. But at the end of the day, if you want to watch people who can't sing or dance, why bother with X Factor? That's what V are for."
(ps Thank you for your emails while I was on holiday - Turkey was lovely. But boy, do they have bad taste in music.)