Now this might come as a big shock to some of you but quite often some of the Hot Potato's I've come up with are met with groans of disapproval from Popjustice HQ. Sometimes they say they're simply not very funny or even actually any good, but quite often I get told that they are - wait for it - 'too gay'.
So, with that in mind I have decided to talk about a far more manly and less camp topic - musicals. I'm a big fan of musicals, but only really those which contain songs by pop band, eg Mamma Mia, Tonight's The Night, We Will Rock you and so on. I was actually in We Will Rock You before I joined V. I had a starring role which had I not performed to the best of my ability each night, might have spelt disaster for the show. Yes - I was the popcorn seller. It was quite fun actually because as any fellow popcorn sellers out there will already know, you actually don't really have to do any work. You sell your popcorn then you go and watch the show and bitch about how much better the understudy is than the failed popstar playing the lead role that night. Also, by the time the show has finished you can just go down to the nearest bar and get hammered. Oh, the joys of working in the West End...
I've always had this theory that if you wanted to put together the ultimate high-note hitting pop group then you should just raid the cast of a successful musical for your members. Apparently, someone else also had this idea in 1997 and put together a boyband called E.Male - five dudes from the rollerskating spectacular Starlight Express. Now what was so great about E.Male, other than the fact that they danced wearing roller skates and had amazing deep and meaningful lyrics - "We are e.mail, we just can't fail" -was the fact that they all had nicknames beginning with the letter E. E-mense, E-zee, E-go, E-lusive and last but not least, my particular favourite, E-nigma.
If V had nicknames which all started with same letter I'd be V-iagra on account of my not needing that particular drug - see the irony? Leon would probably be something like V-on Dutch because he wanted to get one of those caps one time and I said that's something only real sell-outs do and soooo not rock n roll. Mark will be called V-auxhall because that is a type of car and he quite likes driving. Ant, hmm, I'm not sure about Ant, but I do know Kevin would be called V-itiligo as he is a massive Michael Jackson fan.
Anyway, back to the musicals.....
This year you can probably look forward to musicals such as;
Dirty Dancing - The Musical.
This will have some dancing in it, I expect.
Queer as Folk - The Musical.
Guys & Dolls
This one doesn't have The Musical written after it which is highly confusing. However, it does star Ewan McGregor and he'll no doubt get his knob out at some point. A bit like The Puppetry Of The Penis, which is actually my mum's favourite musical.
Aida
Elton John's finest moment, or so my American friend tells me. He obviously hasn't seen that documentary where Elton throws the flowers.
Billy Elliot - The Musical
This is also another Elton one but I sincerely hope it still contains that Stephen Gately song from the movie. I quite liked that tune. Stephen also sang the theme tune to Watership Down which was a cartoon about rabbits.
That is all.
Shit, I forgot to mention the classic Boyband: The Musical. Ah well, it was rubbish anyway. Farewell!