Ok, I'm sorry. I know I've been slacking in recent weeks and I should rename this column 'Lukewarm Spud' or something but the exciting news is that I'm back. And besides, I have a very good excuse for my slackness - I'm on tour with Busted at the minute. No real gossip as of yet, but Kev and I did try absinthe in Nottingham the other night. I don't really recommend it, and the maid who had to clean up my hotel bathroom probably doesn't either.
Anyway, last week we released an amazing record called 'You Stood Up', but none of you fuckers actually went and brought it and it went in at Number Bloody 12. Shame on you. As a result, me and the V boys have been left thinking that maybe we jinxed ourselves by naming the band after the roman numeral for 5 and that we may now be destined never to get higher than Number 5. Well, actually that's just Kev's theory and he's always been a bit of a hippie. And just to make you feel guilty, Leon's taking things less well and hasn't left his room in days, God only knows were Ant has disappeared to and Mark has sought refuge in watching continuous repeats of Byker Grove.
As a ray of sunshine here at V Towers I have decided to take a slightly more productive attitude. Because you see some fantastic artists have, like us, reached the dizzy heights of Number 12 with some of their best songs. For example:
Scissors Sisters - Laura
Now despite ripping off the Thomas The Tank Engine theme, this is a lovely song.
Holly Valance - Naughty Girl
Poor Holly. Before she started hanging out with Har Mar Superstar she used to sing nice Kylie-esque songs and take off all her clothes. In the video to this track, we see Holly on various advertising boards. Rather like in 'Spice Up Your Life'.
Alistair Griffin - Bring It On/Lovers' Prayer
I'm not a huge Alistair fan, if I'm honest. Partly because he ruined The Callings 'Wherever You Will Go' on Fame Academy but mostly because he's grown one of those stupid bits of beard under his bottom lip. And he wears denim jackets.
Rachel Stevens - More, More, More
Yes, I know this Ms Stevens song actually reached Number 3 or something but in the Official Download Chart it went in at 12, which means that it fits in with my fascinating theme.
Other fantabulous and not-so-fantabulous Number 12 smashes include Ashlee Simpson's 'Pieces Of Me' (which is actually pronounced "beeses of me"), Noise Next Door's thing from a couple of weeks ago (which sounds a bit like Busted - except from Portsmouth), Hoobastank's 'Reason', and Daphne & Celeste's 'School's Out', and the solo comeback song by Agnetha Out Of Abba.
So you see it doesn't really matter that 'You Stood Up' only got to Number 12 because we're in some good (ish) company. Also of course our album is out in a couple of weeks, and of course millions of you will go and buy it. So there's nothing to worry about, right?