ASSOCIATED HOCKEY PRESS
New evidence has come forward to prove that hockey sucks. One hockey expert expressed caution over coming to far-reaching conclusions based on the evidence. In his expert opinion, the evidence applies only to women's hockey. A controversial photograph supporting the allegations, was leaked to the media yesterday. Hoover, the official sponsor of the women's team in question, refused comment on the claims.
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| The controversial photo |
Montreal hockey fans have been thrilled with their team, after they eliminated the highly favoured Boston Bruins from the 2004 Stanley Cup Playoffs. Despite a poor showing against a hot Tampa team, proof has emerged with conclusive evidence that Montreal hockey players rock!
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| The Montreal captain rocks |
Philadelphia goal-tender #42 Robert Esche was highly embarrassed after he showed up at the wrong location for Wednesday's playoff game against the Toronto Maple Leafs. Esche was already wearing his equipment, and only realized his mistake during the warm-up when a player from another team that he didn't recognize slid into him. A photographer captured the magic moment.
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| Esche at the moment when he realizes his mistake |
A painting from the sixteenth century was recently discovered in an abandoned wine-cellar in Bordeax, France. It provides shocking evidence that hockey is much older than we always thought. And so is Don Cherry.
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| The 16th century painting featuring hockey legend Don Cherry |
The world's number one golfer, Tiger Woods, is back. Woods has been struggling on the PGA Tour this season, and in an attempt to get out of his slump, has consulted with hockey legend Wayne Gretzky. In a cooperative effort, the two superstars have announced the release of a new golf club. The revolutionary club enables Woods to make use of a back-swing technique employed by Gretzky in his slap-shot. Using the new equipment with a remodelled swing, Woods has found that golf ball is much easier to hit both from the tee and on the fairway. The new club also can be used for putting. Although Nike has already run commercials with Gretzky and Woods using the new equipment, the club still needs official approval from the World Golf Administrative Association. The revolutionary club is expected to retail for at least US$1,700, although there are reports that department stores in Canada have already been selling unauthorized imitations of the club for $39.95.
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| Tiger Woods demonstrating the new club |
Posted Thursday - 2004-06-07 - 10:28:35 EST
by Staff Reporter Verdra H. Ciretop in Toronto
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