*Tom*

"BENJIIIIIIIIIIIIII! BENJIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!! ITS TONYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!" I sat up straight in bed as some nut case pounded on the door.

"What the mother fuck?" Jake mumbled getting up. Whenwe left our room we collided with a half-asleep Danny stumbling down the hall while Joel and Benji ran to the door. We crept slowly Behind them and looked down the stairs to see the door, where we were hidden. Incase we were ambused by pycho GC fans or something. When Benji opened the door something tall and blonde flew in and tackled benji.

"Tony!?" Joel gasped, pulling the either drunken or extremely psychotic man off of benji.

"YEP! Ohh my god I haven't seen you guys in FOREVER!" Tony screamed. I assumed this was Benji's best friend Tony Lovato. We never met him. You have to remember, we don't exist. And if anyone asks... We're Benji and Joels cousins from Baltimore.

"Tony you lameass you just saw us yesterday at the mall." Benji jumped up off the floor.

"I did?" Tony asked thoughtfully, "OH YEAH I DID! Okay. Can we hang anyway!?"

"It's. Four. AM." Joel reminded him.

"...It is?"

"God you're fucked up." Benji sighed, patting tony on the head. "You can sleep on the couch. We'll hang tomorow." Benji told him, ushering him into the livingroom. We waited for Benji and Joel to come upstairs when they spotted us.

"THAT was tony!? God he's weird." I said.

"Yeah. He's always like that. He refuses to get old and fat like everyone else. Now go back to sleep." Benji yawned, pushing us down the hall "If you don't you'll be all cranky tomorow."

I yawned and stretched the next morning, before somehow falling out of bed. "Dofus," Jake laughed from his spot infront of the mirror, where he was fixing his hair.

"Thanks," I grinned as Danny came back into the room, drying his longish blonde hair with a towel, and another towel was wrapped around his waist.

"Tommy's FINALLY up!" Danny grinned as he spotted me, "Good, 'cause I need to borrow your jeans. Mine are all dirty."

"Knock yourself out," I shrugged, my stomach grumbling, "I need to go feed. I'm starved."

"Well wait for us," Jake said, "We need to go out too."

I nodded, digging around the closet, looking for some clothes to wear. I came across two pairs of jeans and tossed a pair to Danny.

"Thanks man," Danny smiled, pulling them on. I nodded, pulling out a shirt and pants, and yanking them on quickly.

"Let's go," Jake said, "I'm starving. I don't wanna end up biting Benji's friend."

"He's too skinny anyways," I laughed, "He's more anorexic looking than Billy is."

"Good point," Jake said thoughtfully, "Oh well, let's go."

We went downstairs, creeping past Tony, who was still asleep, sprawled out on the sofa. "He's kinda... scary," Danny laughed as we got outside, "There's something... not right about him."

"Yeah. I bet he hasn't eaten in a month!" Someone said. Jake and Dan. They sound alike dude. I guess I sound like them too, But I always hear my voice sounding different. I think everyone does that.

"Probably not." I snorted. "Or hes on crack or something."

"CRACKWHORE!" Danny laughed.

"Okay guys.." Jake giggled, "This is mean. He's benji's friend! He can't be all bad."

"He drank puke once!" I pointed out.

"Thats. Fucking disgusting." Jake spat.

"In any event. Theres a fat chick over there. Who gets to bite the fat chick?"

*Jake*

After that we pretty much forgot about Tony and stalked the fat chick around, arguing over who got to bite her. Fat people taste better. Eventually it was settled that I got to bite the fat chick, because Tom and Dan are already fatter than me. Dan bit some big black dude. He looked like Christina Aguileras bodyguard. Hell, he just might have been. Tom settled on a 13 year old girl and her skinny-assed friend. I think in total that eaqualed the same amount of blood. And yeah, even as vampires, we still argue over who gets to eat what at dinner. We're losers.

When we got home Tony was awake and milling around the house all hyperactive-like.

"Uh. Who are YOU?" He asked us.

All three of us answered at the same time saying our names.

"No. I mean who are you?" Tony asked again.

"Uhm." I started, "Benji and Joels cousins."

"From Baltimore." Danny and Tom said.

"...Ew. Are you triplets or something?"

"Uhm. No. He's 17." I pointed to Danny, "And his eyes are different."

"We're twins though." Tom pointed between the two of us.

"Hm. Odd." Tony shrugged, walking away.

"Was it just me, or does Tony seem to not like us?" I asked Danny and Tommy.

"He HATES us," Tommy sighed dramatically, "All the more reason for us to harass him. And either we did a amazing job of hiding our fangs, or he's just stupid."

"He's stupid," Danny nodded, "Or blind."

"Or stoned," I snickered, "and is anyone else getting sick of always saying we're their cousins? I understand WHY we have to, but I mean, come on, GC aren't really around much anymore. They all got their own lives now. So why do we have to keep lying? And we're VAMPIRES. Nobody can do anything to us."

"Good point," Tommy nodded, "Oh well. Let's go wake up our UNCLES."

I laughed and ran upstairs with them, before the three of us literally THREW ourselves ontop of them. "WAKE UP!" Tommy yelled into Benji's ear, "Rise and shine!"

"Fuck off," Joel grumbled, "We're tired."

"No can do. Tony's awake. I don't think he likes us much," Danny told them, lying down between them while I laid myself down on Joel's back and Tommy did the same to Benji.

"Why? What'd you do to him?" Benji asked, opening his eyes finally.

"NOTHING!" I sighed, "Why do you think WE always do something?"

"Cause you do?" Joel asked.

"Shuttup," I laughed, "And just for that, you're not getting that wakeup blow job I wasplanning for you."

"I'm sorry!" Joel giggled sleepily, "I didn't mean it!"

"HEY guys do we have any cheese..." Tony asked walking into the room, "Uh. Whoa. Is this some kind of mass statutorty rape incest orgy thing?"

"Uh. No." I said flatly.

"We were just talking." Dan shrugged.

"About hotdogs." Tom added randomly.

"Uhm. Right. Okay." Tony nodded, before leaving the room and shutting the door.

"Anyway." I started, "Guys. I'm sick of pretending to be your cousin!"

"ALL of us are." Dan added.

"I mean you could just say you adopted us or something. But to pretend we like. Aren't your kids. It's really gettin to us." Tom explained.

"Well. What do you want us to do? Hell. We haven't even told the world were gay yet!" Benji reminded us.

"And we don't plan to. I'm enjoying my break from the spotlight thanks, I don't need to get myself back on camera every five minutes. Hi this is Kurt Loder with MTV news. This just in Benji and Joel are infact GAY and fucking one another up the ass like there's no tomorow." Joel mocked.

"Okay okay." I sighed, getting up.

"SorrIE!" Dan spat.

"No were not mad its just. Complicated. You all KNOW that." Benji said.

"I know." Tom kissed him on the cheek before we left the room.

*Beej*

Later in the kitchen it was just me and Tony. He was eating a cheese-dog.

"Uhm. Benj. I overheard you guys talking earlier..."

"Another words you eavesdropped?"

"Yeah. And I heard Jake and Tom and. That other fat kid... Daryl or whatever his name is...the short one... Talking about how they were sick of PRETENDING to be your cousins... And then you said something about you and Joel fucking and... What the hell were you talking about man?" Tony asked me.

"Well... Joel and I are... together," I said slowly, "And Tommy, Danny and Jake are our sons. Joel got pregnant with Tommy and Jake, who're twins, and I had Danny. And Danny's not fat!"

"Right," Tony laughed, "Guys can't have kids."

"Yes they can," I nodded, "Wanna see?"

"Dude, I don't wanna see another dude have kids!" Tony grimaced.

"No dumbass, I meant a video. For some odd reason, the doctor video taped me having Danny. Tommy and Jake were born on the tourbus, believe it or not."

"Alright, show me the video then," Tony agreed, following me into the living room.

I took the tape out of it's case and put it into the VCR, hitting the play button. Tony watched the video, sometimes grimacing, and sometime his face taking on a look of shock.

*Tony*

I watched the video intently. It wasn't. TOO graphic. Because they kept going to Benji and Joel's faces. They were SO fucking young. Before I even knew them. When Joel still had the eyebrow ring. And Benji's hair was blue. I got up and turned the video off myself before he actually had the baby. I didn't want to watch him go ALL the way and have it. I got the point.

"Uhm. Here's some pictures." Benji approached me from behind and I didn't even realize he had left to get pictures. he handed me a stack of them. "We had a daughter. She died. Theres some pictures of me when I was pregnant with her." Benji told me.

I flipped through the pictures. They seemed to be in chronological order. Beginning with Benji when they were young and 20ish with the blue hair and eyebrow rings. The pictures started with him having just a little belly bulge and progressed until obviously his ninth month. One of the pictures was on their 20th birthday. Which means he got pregnant at ninteen.

Hah. Pregnant Teen.

The pictures of Joel looked like they were mostly later in his pregnancy. He was huge.

"Joel had the twins right?" I asked him.

"Yeah." Benji nodded. In the picures Benji was chubby as hell with long hair and half of his tattoos missing.I rcognized this as around the time of the warped tour when I met them. The few remaining pictures were of Benji. They were older there. Like twenty eight or twenty nine.

"Fuckin shit." I muttered.

"We've never told anyone. ANYONE. Ever. Danny was fucking kidnapped and we never reported it so nobody would know. When faith, our daughter, died, we only invited Billy and Paul and the boys. And our mom. But we told her I knocked up some groupie and she dumped the kid on me. Same story with the twins, and danny. Mom was really dissapointed. She wanted us to wait until we were married to have kids and every few years we called her up to tell her more were on the way. She got over it though." Benji shrugged.

"I... I'm fucking confused man." I told him.

"And you think were not? Shit. What would you do if you woke up one day and someone like. told YOU you were pregnant... It's. Shocking. I'll tell you that."