*Tommy*

I watched bitterly from across the hall as Jake and his new group of friends laughed in my general direction. Jake wasn't quite as bad as they were but he was by no means DEFENDING me. or visibly on my side in any way.

Sucking back the last of my dignity I approached them, making eye contact only with Jake.

"Jake we gotta get home now." I said.

"Oh fuck off..." One of his friends said. I must have ruffled his abercrombie sweatervest.

"Nah it's alright man. I gotta go. Later." Jake said, engaging in the 'ghetto handshake' thing with each of them, which seemed horribly out of place as they were the all the whitest white boys on earth. I looked Jake over in his khakis and "Aeropostale" T shirt, and a hat that matched his pants.

"Dude. Why do you dress like that?" I asked him.

"Well. It could be worse." He said flatly.

"How?"

"I could dress like YOU." He looked ME over, "Is it really nessecary to dress so over the top? It makes me look bad."

"But... You used to dress like this..." I whispered, visibly crushed.

He just shrugged. "Shit happens." I dont think he had any idea how much that hurt my feelings.

"Jake. Why are you being so mean?"

"You know I love you, I just have an image to uphold, thats all."

I stared out the window of the bus, wishing we were home already. Jake was, of course, sitting with his new friends, laughing along with them as they openly teased me.

It made me feel so lonely... Jake used to hang out with me ALL the time, in school and out. I just wish I knew why he was acting like that... and he teased me WITH his friend, not even bothering to stick up for me. I was starting to feel like he hated me now.

He never even spent time with Benji and Joel anymore... when the four of us were so close. I was still close as ever to Benji and Joel, even closer to them now than Jake. I felt tears in my eyes, but I held back, not about to show them that their mean words were getting to me.

As soon as the bus pulled up to our house, I practically ran to the front door, not even bothering to wait for Jake. Like he'd care anyways.

"Hey Tommy," Benji smiled, looking up from the TV, "How-"

I broke down just then, letting my tears go. "Tom?" Benji asked, worry in his voice as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close, "What happened?"

"Jake hates me," I whimpered, clinging to Benji, feeling safe in his arms, wishing I could just stay with him and not have to face another day of school tomarrow.

"What?" Benji asked in confusion, rubbing my back gently, "I'm sure he doesn't-"

"He does," I cried, "He hates me."

"Tommy?" Jake asked, running into the house and over to me, "What's wrong?"

"Leave me alone!" I sobbed, moving closer to Benji, practically climbing onto him.

"T...Tom I..." Jake stuttered.

"Jake just let me handle it." Benji said, stroking my hair. I heard jake trudge out of the room as Benji led me to the couch. "Tom, I doubt he hates you.."

"He wont EVER talk to me anymore!" I choked out, "And all of his friends and him sit around and make fun of me and I sit alone at lunch in a corner and listen to people laugh and he doesn't do ANYTHING. he just sits there and laughs with them." I burst into tears again.

"But... He talks to you here."

"Because his friends aren't watching. And if he's nice I might let him havesex with me and I bet that's all he cares about."

"But.."

"STOP IT!" I screamed, "Stop trying to contradict me!" I pulled away from him.

"Sh Tom I'm sorry. I just... Don't understand why he would treat you like that." Benji said softly.

"Neither do I." I cried, "Today he told me I shouldn't dress like this anymore because it makes him look bad, and the only reason he was saying it is becuse he had an image to uphold. And then they kept laughing at me on the bus and his friends were all 'i cant believe you're twins, he's such a fucking idiot and you're not.' and he was like. Agreeing with them. he doesn't love me anymore..."

"I...I don't know what to say to make you feel better but I'm deinately gonna have a talk with him." benji told me.

"NO! Don't. It'll just make him hate me more." I wiped my eyes.

"Tommy I have to do something. It's tearing you up..."

"Just forget I said anything." I shook my head and got up to leave the room. he stood up and followed me.

"Tom I cant just forget about that..."

"JUST FORGET IT!" I yelled a him, storming up the stairs.

I went into mine and Jake's room, relieved to see that he wasn't there. I flopped down onto my bed, tears still falling. I didn't bother looking up as the door opened, followed by Jake's and one of his friend's voices.

"Dude, can you make him leave?" Jake's friend asked, "He's annoying."

"Tom, could you leave us alone for a bit?" Jake asked automatically. I couldn't believe him. Just before he was trying to comfort me, and now he's telling me to leave?

"It's my fucking room too," I spat, my voice muffled from the pillow.

"We have to study," Jake replied.

"So?" I demanded angrily, "It's not like I'm making noise."

"You're a distraction," he said simply.

"Fuck you," I said angrily, storming out of the room and slamming the door.

"Tommy?" Joel asked as he came out from his and Benji's room, "What's wrong?"

"Ask Jake," I muttered, storming back downstairs and down into the studio where I could be alone. Why was Jake being like that? It's like I wasn't important to him anymore.

I flopped down onto the sofa, picking up Benji's guitar and strumming the chords aimlessly, feeling tears threaten to spill over again.

In the end I had to put the guitar dow because the urge to smash it was uncontrollable. I was so fucking angry. I sat in the bathroom layering on the eyeliner and black eyeshadow, just to prove to myself that I wasn't going to listen to jake. At ALL. If anything I'd defy him. he has no RIGHT to tell me how to dress. We are brothers, at one point we WERE lovers, and that gives him no right to tell me what to do. An hour later I looked like a hottopic model gone wrong. More gothic than my usual, but I was surprised at how good it looked. I marched right down to the kitchen.

"Oh. My. God." Jakes friend laughed as I came into the room. "What the FUCK happened to him?"

"TOM you ASSHOLE What the hell!? Are you trying to embarass me or something!?" Jake screamed.

"No. I'm actually here to get a brownie." I smiled.

"It's not like you NEED to gain any more weight." His friend snickered. His words hurt but I refused to show it.

"No, you really don't." Jake spat. Now that... REALLY hurt.

"I'm not that much fucking fatter than you Jake!"

"Yeah but at least I don't go around dressing like Benji-Gone-Wrong and make it worse!" Jake screamed in my face.

"I don't know why anyone would want to copy that fag." Mr jakes Friend who has yet to tell me his name laughed. I was shocked when jake laughed along with him.

"THATS IT!" I jumped out of my skin as Benji stormed into the room, "YOU RIGHT THERE.. Yeah you Mr Highlights... Get out of my house you little fucker!" Benji yelled so loud I thought the house was going to fall down, "NOW" he bellowed, and Mr highlights ran out of them room.

"Dad... I didn't me..." Jake tried to reason.

"GET YOUR SORRY ASS UPSTAIRS." Benji was really scaring me. he was ANGRY. "You don't talk ABOUT family like that and you dont talk TO family like that. I swear to God when I get through with you.." benji started and jake ran out of the room.

"Dad you're scaring me...." I whimpered.

"Sorry." He grumbled.

"Don't yell at him anymore. You're just going to make it worse!" I insisted.

"Tom you can't let him bully you!"

"I'm not. Just please dad don't get involved." I sighed, leaving the room. I know he meant well but all he would do is make my life even harder if he did anything. Besides, if Jake hates us all, then theres nothing we can do about it.

I trudged up to my room that night, after having spent the whole day in the studio, writing songs about how I hated my life right now.

Jake was in the shower, but on the computer screen, there was an instant message going on between him and a friend.

I opened it out of curiosity, my mouth dropping open as I read what it said. It had enough complaints about Benji yelling at him, how much of faggots Benji and Joel were, how much everyone in school hated me and talked about me, and there was also a nice little thing saying that it's a shame that Jake has me as a brother and Benji and Joel as parents. And Jake seemed to agree with it all.

I couldn't believe what I was reading. Why was Jake actually be friends with people who talked so bad about our family? Why would HE talk that bad about his own family?

I stood up angrily and went downstairs to sleep on the sofa. After reading all that, I don't think I'd be able to stand being in the same room with him.

I flicked the TV on, trying to concentrate on it, but failing miserably. Why was Jake acting like that? Did he suddenly not love and care about any of us anymore? That's what it seemed like to me.

"Tommy?" Jake asked softly from the stairs, "Are you coming to bed?"

I didn't say anything, only gave him the finger in response, before listening to his footsteps going back upstairs.

The next day was no better. Actually it was worse. I was being HARASSED by Jakes friends. I couldn't turn a corner without being fucked with. They wanted a fight but I wouldn't give it to them. The busride home was eaqually annoying. And once again at home Jake just kinda pretended there was nothing wrong. I ignored him and went into the kitchen where Benji was sitting there.

"Was today any better?" He asked me.

"No." I said flatly.

"You need to do something about this."

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!" I contemplated my next words carefully, "I read an IM conversation with onna his friends.. He said a lot of shitty things. That hes ashamed of us and stuff." Benji sighed and buried his face i his hands.

"I.. guess... I don't know. Maybe he just wants a normal family." Benji shrugged.

"What's wrong with THIS family? Who cares if you and Joel arent the "normal" type of parents. You've done just as good for him as anyone could. And why would he be ashamed of you when he is JUST LIKE YOU. Down to the fucking his brother part." I kicked the cabinet.

"I know... I like your clothes by the way they're hott... But that's irrelevant." Benji laughed a little, "Did you tell him how upset it makes you when he says all that?"

"He wont care. And thank you." I smiled.

"He will care."

"No he wont." I frowned again. "He just DOESNT CARE anymore. About any of us."

"He'll come around." benji tried to make me feel better but it didn't work at all.

"Yeah." I sighed.

I sighed again and sat down at the table beside Benji. "I don't wanna go to school," I said, dropping my head into my arms on the table, "Can I get like, a tutor or something? I don't think I can take anymore."

"Well.. sure, if it's what you really wanna do," Benji said, pulling me close to him and hugging me, "I don't blame you for not wanting to go back, Joel and I had to go through ALMOST the same thing, but we got messed with non-stop. We almost dropped out like, ten times."

I nodded, hugging him. Maybe if I didn't go to public school, Jake would get back to normal. Maybe I should just stay away from him as best as I can. If he really does care, he'll miss me.

"Thank you," I said softly, "I just don't think I can take going back there anymore."

Benji nodded and Joel came into the room. "What's wrong?" he asked, sitting down beside us.

"We're gonna get Tommy a tutor, instead of making him go to public school," Benji told him.

"Why?" Joel asked, "Aside from how Jake's been acting lately.."

"That's exactly why," Benji told him, "I don't really wanna force him to go if he's so unhappy about it. You remember how much shit we had to take in school."

Joel nodded. "It's okay with me," he said, "I just wish Jake would snap out of it too."

We all quieted down as we heard Jake and some guy outback, talking about me, once again. We all peered out the window and I could feel Benji and Joel both tensing beside me as they laughed about us. My jaw dropped to the floor as Jake leaned over and kissed him. KISSED him. When I was supposed to be his boyfriend.

"That's it," Joel muttered, storming outside with Benji, and this time I didn't bother trying to stop them.

"GET. OFF. MY. PROPERTY!" Benji screamed, chasing the other boy. Joel grabbed Jakes arm and dragged him inside.

"Dad... FUCK that HURTS!" He whined.

"GOOD!" Joel pushed him against the counter. "What the fuckis wrong with you?"

"Look.. Dad... Tom... Shit.. It wasn't.." He stuttered.

"Wasn't WHAT JAKE!?!?" I screamed.

"It wasn't what you think.." Jake said frantically.

"Then what was it?" Joel asked, much more calmly.

"I just... I just can't take it anymore. Brothers and twincest... I just want the normalest gay relationship possible!

"God I hate you." I muttered, before smacking him across the face as hard as I could. Jake's head snapped to the side and he stumbled a little.

"TOM!" Joel scolded, pushing me back. "That's it, both of you just sit down."

"I'M GOING TO BREAK YOUR LEGS YOU LITTLE PRICK!!!!" I looked out the window to see Benji still chasing that boy around the yard.

"Shit..." Joel cursed, "Don't move, either of you." Joel said, running outside to subdue my currently insane father before he killed Jakes "boyfriend."

"You slapped me." Jake said in awe.

"No Shit. You deserve it." I spat.

"...Do you really hate me?" He whispered.

"I hate who you've become."

I sat at the table angrily, with my arms crossed in front of me.

"What does that mean?" Jake asked softly.

I glared at him. "Let's see... Everyday at school you and your friends tease and laugh at me, you and your friends make fun of our PARENTS, you call your own fucking parents faggots, and you have no idea how much it's hurting me. Or them. And now you've dumped me, just because society says it's wrong to have relationships within your family. Y'know what, FUCK YOU. I know you hate me and you hate Benji and Joel, for what reason, I have no fucking idea. If you're gonna keep acting the way you are now, then forget it. I don't fucking need you. Benji and Joel are all I need so fuck you. Just go back to your fake friends and see how long they stay your friends. Do you honestly think they like you for you? I don't think so. They like you because you act and dress like them. Just forget it."

I looked up as Joel pulled Benji back into the kitchen, who was still yelling after that kid that Jake kissed.

"This has to stop, right now," Joel said seriously, "I want to know everything. Every last detail. Tommy, tell me everything that happened and don't leave ANYTHING out."

I sighed and nodded, telling him everything that I could remember, starting from the first day Jake started acting like he was.

Halfway through, I couldn't take it anymore and I broke down into tears and sobs. Benji hugged me tightly. "C'mon Tommy, what else?" Joel asked.

"Joel, give him a few minutes," Benji said softly, rubbing my back, "He's upset enough."

Joel nodded, his face softening as he realized how truely upset I was, and he stroked my hair softly, hugging me as well.

I tried to compose myself and finish.

"And then there was the time that guy. With the highlights. He threw food at me and Jake let him throw his food. Jake didn't do it directly but... didn't do anything to stop it." I found it was easiest not to talk to Jake directly because it was to hard. I finished up my long drawn out story and sat there, staring at my shoelaces.

"Alright. Jake. Explain." Benji sat down across from him. I finally made eye contact. He looked really fucking scared.

"I...I.." He stuttered. he stuttered out a few more incoherent sounds before he gave up.

"Informative." Benji rolled his eyes sarcastically.

"TALK GODDAMNIT!" I yelled at him, "EXPLAIN TO ME WHY YOU ARE THE WAY YOU ARE!!!"

"I dont know.." He whimpered.

"That's not fucking good enough." I shook my head.

"I just.. I wanted... I needed. I don't know what I was looking for..." He looked ready to cry, "I don't wanna be an incest freak anymore."

"Do you think were all incest freaks?" Joel asked him, "Yes. But I'm one too." Jake took a deep breath, "I'm just so sick of not being normal." He finally started to cry. "But I don't think I like being normal either."

"Well why don't you kill yourself and get it over with?" I spat. Everyone gasped.

"T...Tom you don't really want me to do that do you?" He sobbed

"No. jake he didn't mean it.." Joel said, hugging Jake from behind. And I regetted saying it so bad.

"I just... I wanted to be like everyone else," Jake whimpered, "I was so tired of being picked on... I just got carried away with being liked by other kids for once."

"But you don't love me anymore," I whispered, "You're with that asshole now."

"Tommy... I'm not with him," Jake tried to explain, "I don't know why I kissed him..."

"But you still hate me," I whimpered, "You have no idea how much all those things you did hurt me. And it hurt me even MORE knowing my own TWIN, my supposent boyfriend was saying and doing all that stuff to me. You have no idea how bad it hurt me."

"I'm sorry," Jake whimpered, reaching out to touch me, but I jerked away from him, noticing the look of rejection on his face.

"No," I shook my head, "I don't love YOU. I love the old Jake. Not this fake one. YOU'RE noy my twin. My twin wouldn't ever treat me so badly. I just want MY Jake back," I whimpered, before turing and running upstairs, locking myself in the bathroom, before letting my sobs out.

By now I was convinced that the guy downstairs was NOT my twin. My own brother would never act like that to me. My Jake never cared what anyone said about him, he loved me and Benji and Joel, and he wasn't ashamed of it. I just wanted him back.

I missed him so much. I just wanted this imposter to die and go to fucking hell, and I wanted MY Jake to come back to me.

"Tommy?" I heard Jake tap on the bathoom door.

"Go away! Please.." I said, pulling my knees up to my chest.

"Tom I've got the key out here, I'm coming in." I heard a click and the door opened.

"I hate you." Was the first thing out of my mouth.

"I know you do." He said sadly, closing the door behind him and sitting on the floor across from me. "But I love y.."

"YOU'RE LYING." I cut him off violently.

"I'm not lying." I looked him in the eyes. He looked so damn sad. I mean the pitiful kind of sad. His eyes are wide and uncertain and I'm prety sure hes just trying to figure out what to say to make it okay. And of course, as if on cue, "I dont kno what to say to make it okay." He whisered.

"I dont know either." I stared to cry.

"You told me you don't love me anymore."

"I dont. I'm sorry I dont love you anymore. I used to love you, and I've fallen out of love with you, you've pushed me too far." I sniffled and wiped a tear away.

"I still love you... I swear I do..." He was really crying now. Badly.

"I'm happy for you." I said flatly. He got up and left the room and I just wanted to chase him and grab him and tell him how much I loved him, and how I wanted him to change back to his old self but I was too damn prideful. Instead I ran to Benji.

"Dad..." I whimpered. "I love him so much I don't know what to do." I started sobbing and Benji and Joel just looked shocked at my random outburst.

"Tommy... you have to have a serious talk with him," Benji said softly, "You both need to straighten this out."

"But I don't know what to say," I whimpered.

"Tell him exactly how you feel," Joel whispered, rubbing my back gently. I nodded, letting go of Benji and going to find Jake.

"Jake?" I called, walking upstairs, "I wanna talk to you."

"I'm in here," he called back, his voice strained from all the crying.

I went into our bedroom slowly, shocked as I saw him dressed the way he was before he decided to change everything. I bit my bottom lip and sat down beside him on the bed.

"I'm so sorry Tommy," Jake whispered, "I know saying 'I'm sorry' won't change what I've done, but I mean it. I'd rather kill myself than have you hate me."

I nodded. "I just... I want MY Jake back. I want him... not this fake one who talks shit about his family and who worries what society says."

"I'm willing to bring him back if you're willing to help make everything right again," Jake whispered, raising his gaze to mine, "I DO love you Tommy... I'll do anything to make it up to you."

"Just be yourself again," I whimpered, "That's all I ask. I want you the way you were. THAT'S the Jake I love."

Jake nodded, opening his arms to me. "I will," he whispered, "I'm not gonna be anything but ME, I swear it to you Tommy."

I gave in and hugged him tightly, having never felt so better in all my life.

"I'm so sorry." He apologised again, burying his neck.

"I know you are." I whispered. I tightened my arms around his back as tightly as he could.

"When you told me you didn't love me it was the worst feeling. Ever. And if that's anything like you were feeling than I am so...so sorry I made you feel like that." He further apologised.

"Please Jake I know. I love you, I forgive you. I wont forget what you did. But I forgive you." I stroked the back of his hair affectionately.

"I love you too." He cried, before kissing me. It was the saltiest kiss ever.

"Jake you need to apologise to our dads..." I broke our kiss.

"I know.. They're so mad at me." He said nervously.

"..Yeah. Yeah they are." I nodded.

"And Benji almost killed Dan..." Jake ran a hand through his hair.

"Dan? Was that the guy you.. kissed?"

"Yeah... I'm sorry I wont talk about him. It was nothing. I gotta go talk to Benji and Joel." He sighed, getting up and leaving the room.

*Jake*

"Uhm. Hi." I mumbled entering the livingroom.

"Hey," Joel smiled, holding out his arm so I could st next to him and have him wrap it around me, "C'mere and sit down."

"You're... not mad?"

"No." Benji looked up at me from his spot on the other side of Joel, "We're infuriated."

"Oh." I sighed, going over to Joel and sitting beside him. He wrapped an arm around me and hugged me a little. "I can't tell you how sorry I am." I whispered.

"It's okay," Joel said softly, "But we just wanna know why is all. I mean... are you... embarrassed about us? I know we're not like... normal parents or anything."

"No no! It's not that!" I said, somewhat surprized they thought that, "I love you guys. I'd rather have you as my parents instead of 'normal' ones anyday. It's just... I wanted to see what it was like to be like the other kids... to not be picked on and to be liked."

Joel nodded. "That's understandable... but you do know how torn up about it Tommy was."

I nodded, looking at my lap. "I know... we made up though," I whispered, "And I sorry for what I did."

"We forgive you," Joel smiled, hugging me, "Don't we Benji?"

"Yeah," Benji said softly.

I nodded, before standing slowly. "I wanna go talk to Tom."

I went back upstairs, going into mine and Tommy's room. "Tommy?" I asked, sitting down on his bed, "What're you doing in the closet?"

"Getting rid of all your preppy crap, since you won't be needing it anymore," he smiled, before sitting beside me and hugging me tightly, "How'd it go?"

"Okay," I replied, "Though I think Benji's still pissed off at me."

"He'll get over it," Tommy nodded, "He also said he'd hire us a tutor... because I don't wanna go to public school anymore. I can't take it."

"Really?" I asked in shock, "We don't have to go back there?"

Tommy smiled and nodded. "Got that right. C'mon, let's get Benji and Joel and get everything back to normal again."