*Benji*

"DADDYDADDYDADDYDADDYDADDYDADDYDADDYDADDYDADDY GUESS WHAT DADDY GUESS WHAT!!!!" Tommy ran up to my and jumped in my lap, knocking my book onto the floor.

I faked a smile. "What is it, dear?"

"IIIII GOT A BETTER GRADE THAN JAKE ON HIS MATH TEST BECAUSE HE'S A STUPID IDIOT HEAD AND NOW HE'S CRYING LIKE A GIRL! HAHAHA!" Tommy bounced up and down animatedly.

"What??? Tom that's not a very good reason to laugh at your brother! Where is he now?"

"He said he's gonna throw himself infront of a car," Tommy said like it was absotely nothing.

"WHAT!?" I screamed, jumping up and knocking Tommy onto the couch beside me.

"He said you'd be mad and he saw a movie and a man jumped infront of a car and went to the hospital and everyone felt sad and was real nice to him and he said if he jumped in a car you and Daddy wouldn't get mad," he explained. I ran out of the door to see Jake lying in the street. At first I thought he'd actually done it, but once I ran up to him I saw he was perfectly fine, just waiting for a car.

"Hi Daddy," he said.

"GET UP! GET UP NOOOOOOW!" I yanked him off the ground and dragged him to the door.

"I told Jake you'd be mad!"

He struggled against me, but I pulled him inside anyway. "I'm sorry I got a bad grade!"

"I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR GRADES WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING IN THE STREET!?" I screamed at him.

"I... I w... I."

"NO. Forget it. GOD JAKE you could have DIED. And over a BAD GRADE!? Do you REALLY think I give a FUCK about your schoolwork? Joel is the one who makes me yell at you when you do bad!" I rubbed my forehead. The boy had inherited Joel's morbid streak.

"DADDY! Don't say that word!" Tommy said from across the room.

"I'm sorry! But... Jesus Christ you had me so scared Jake," I paced infront of him.

"You're mad at me," Jake started to cry.

"Yes. Yes I am," I nodded and he cried harder.

"Y...You didn't have to scream and curse at me," he sobbed.

"...You were lying in the street! WHAT DID YOU WANT ME TO DO PASS OUT CANDY!?" He cried even more. I picked him up instinctively. "Shh it's ok Jake Daddy didn't mean to yell. Just sometimes the trouble you two get yourself into is ridiculous."

*Benji*

"I'm sorry I yelled," I appologized to Jake, "You just had be scared is all. What would happen if you got hit by a car and got killed?" He didn't say anything, only looked up at me with big eyes. Joel's eyes.

"Daddy!" Tommy exclaimed, running over to Joel, "Daddy said fuck!"

Joel looked up at me and raised an eyebrow as Jake giggled at his twin. "You said it too Tommy!" Jake giggled. Tommy's eyes widened and he slapped a hand over his mouth, his eyes wide as he shook his head. "I didn't mean it Daddy!" he said quickly, "But Daddy said it!"

"And why did you say it Daddy?" Joel smirked at me, sitting down on the sofa with Tommy.

"Because Jake was lying in the middle of the street, waiting to get hit by a car," I replied,

"Because he got a bad grade."

"When do we get to see Uncle Billy and Uncle Paulie?" Jake asked, "I wanna see them!"

"Yeah!" Tommy giggled, "Uncle Billy's fun!"

"Well, I guess we have to get Billy and Paul over here then," Joel smiled, "We need to work on some of our new songs anyways. And Jake, no more trying to kill yourself like that, okay?"

Jake nodded, looking at Joel. It was obvious that Jake took after Joel so much, and Tommy seemed to take more so after me. No one but Billy and Paul knew about Tommy and Jake. And I'm sure no one would believe that I'd gotten Joel pregnant. Besides Joel didn't want it getting out to the fans or anything.

"Uncle Billy and Uncle Paul are on their way over," Joel smiled at the kids as he hung the phone up. I admired him for that... he never seemed to lose him temper around them.

*Joel*

It was easier a lot of the time for Jake and Tommy to go places with Billy or Paul. When people ask we usually said they were our cousins or something and thats really unfair to do to them. But we explained to them why it has to be that way. Even our own MOTHER doesnt know. She thinks I had them with my girlfriend and she dumped the kids on me.

"BILLLLLLLLYYYYYYY!" Tommy screamed running over to Billy, who was sporting pink hair.

"Oh. My God. WHAT did you do to your head!?" I asked him.

"It was supposed to be dark green," he said sadly.

"Then how come..." Benji began.

"Lets just say the girl who dyed it, doesn't like Good Charlotte very much," he snorted, grabbing Tommy and Jake's hands, "Come children, we are going to the Zoo," he said, pulling them out and closing the door.

"Oh jesus. That was so hideous..." Benji doubled over laughing.

"Benj, your hair was the same color a few years ago," I pointed out.

"Yeah but I didn't look THAT ugly!" I started laughing a little as well.

"Oh fine, you're right. It was putrid. But could be worse."

"How?" Benji asked me.

"He could be bald," I shrugged.

"That is where rogaine comes in my friend." He pulled his hat off and yanked on a tuft of black hair.

*Benji*

I wondered if It was true that chocolate was an aphrodesiac. It could be... I was feeling pretty aroused just then. But then again I was sitting on the couch next to Joel, eating chocolate and watching porn, so it could have been a combination of all of them. I reahed into the bag and pulled out another KitKat chocolate... ball. When Joel turned his attention on me I stuck the ball in my mouth, sucking on my finger for a few seconds. He got a chocolate ball and placd it on his tongue, moaning as he chewed it. I giggled a little.

"Ah. I love our time alone," I smiled.

*Joel*

"I love our alone time too," I smiled at Benji, leaning over to kiss him. He tatsed sweet, like a mixture of the KitKat candy and Pepsi. A nice combo indeed. "I feel the need for a bath," I smiled at him.

"Have fun," he smiled, his eyes still on the TV.

"Benjiiiiiiiiiii," I whined, "A bath with you."

"Why didn't you just say so?" he smiled at me, kissing me before standing up and taking my hand, pulling me up as well. "Can we make love?" Benji asked me softly, sounding small and innocent. Very un-Benji-like. "Sure," I smiled at him, kissing him softly, "Before or after that bath?"

"Before," Benji smiled at me, "I want you now."

I smiled back and kissed him again, pushing him back down onto the bed and crawling ontop of him, kissing his neck gently. "Mmm..." Benji moaned, tugging at my shirt, "Take it off."

I happily obliged and pulled my shirt off my body, exposing myself to him. "Nice," Benji grinned, kissing me roughly, before taking his own shirt off as well. In no time, we were both naked and grinding roughly. "Ugh shit," I grunted, "I won't last Benji."

*Benji*

"I want you now," I moaned into Joel's ear as I lubed up his length. He moaned and nodded, posistioning himself at my entrance before entering me slowly, trying to make this last as long as possible.

I kissed him as he gently trust into me, hitting my spot every so often.

*Benji*

"Ohfuckingshit BenjiI'mgoingtocum.." Joel moaned against my neck.

"Then do it," I grunted, very close to my climax as well.

"Ooh shit," he moaned as we orgasmed at the same time, our lower stomachs covered in my cum.

"Now we need that bath more than ever," he laughed, still breathing heavily. He brought me into the bathroom and drew a warm bath, complete with bath oils and salts and all that great stuff. He sank his body down into the water, wincing slightly at the heat, but finally setlling in. He motioned for me to join him and I climbed in, my body slowly adjusting to the heat.

"God I love the alone time," I laughed. Joel grabbed a washcloth and used it to rub warm water on my shoulders. "Mm that feels good."

"Really?" he asked, rubbng my shoulders, "You DO feel a little tense," he commented.

"Yeah well. How would YOU feel if your son lying in the road?" I asked.

"He's so melodramatic. I'd probably just laugh."

"Yeah right you'd throw a fi... Oooh... Yeah could you do that again..." I said as he massaged the back of my neck.

"Certainly," he laughed, rubbing a little harder. I moaned a little. He had talented hands.

"You like that?" he asked me.

"Definately," I said, and he moved his attention to my shoulders, working out all of the kinks.

"I love it when you do this," I sighed.

"Do what? Give you a massage?" he asked.

"Whenever yo do anything that feels good, I love it," I smiled, and he kissed me on the cheek.

"You love me, because I am simply the best human on earth."

*Joel*

"Did you guys have fun at the Zoo?" I asked Tommy and Jake as they came back into the house with Billy. "Yeah!" Jake grinned, holding up a stuffed Tiger, "Uncle Billy got me a tiger!"

"And a really cool tiger," I smiled, ruffling his hair, "And now it's bedtime."

Tommy yawned, nodding. "I'm sleepy," he said, rubbing his eyes, "Where's Daddy?"

"In bed," I replied, "He had a stomach ache. And thanks Billy. I owe you one."

"Don't mention it," Billy smiled, "The kids are great."

I nodded and he let himself out as I got Tommy and Jake into their pijamas and into bed.

"Night boys," I smiled at them, kissing their foreheads softly as they both settled into bed.

*Benji*

I winced and held my arm across my stomach by instinct. I didn't really know why people did that... it's not like holding an arm over your upset stomach will magically make it better.

"Hey baby," Joel smiled, crawling into bed beside me and feeling my forehead, "How're you feeling?"

"Like shit," I mumbled, curling up close to him, sighing contently as I felt his arms wrap around me, "My stomach hurts like hell."

"Do you think maybe it's from eating to much candy?" Joel asked with a teasing edge to his voice. "I don't know," I murmured, "It hurts."

"Want some medicine?" Joel asked, rubbing my back gently. I nodded. "Something to make me fall asleep," I groaned in pain, "I need sleep."

*Benji*

Finally I fell asleep. It honestly took hours and my stomach felt so sore. Like, sever muscle strain sore. On the inside. But in any event, I finally fell asleep. The next morning I woke up feeling... I don't know. Awkward. My stomach wasn't hurting anymore, just felt like there was pressure building up..........

With much... sheer terror I placed one hand on my stomach. My worst fears were confirmed. I think. Maybe not. It wasn't THAT big. I say the equavalent to 3 1/2 or four months along. Just that retarded bulge that looks out of place. Quickly I scolded myself. Of COURSE I wasn't pregnant.. what a stupid thought. I dressed quickly before Joel, wearing baggy clothes to hide it, befoe going to make breakfast. While cooking pancakes I felt Joels arms wrap around me from behind. I froze momentarily.

"Morning." He mumbled against my neck.

"Morning baby," I said as calmly as I could. Baby. Bad word choice. WHY did he have to pick then of all times to rub my stomach affectionately? Maybe he wouldn't notice.

"Thanks for making breakfast," he smiled.

"It's the least I could do." He rubbed his hands right over the bulge of my stomach.

"...Benj? What's that?" he asked.

"I... It's nothing.. really," I pulled away, handing him pancakes.

"Benji, you're lying. What's going on?" he asked me, eyeing me suspiciously. I knew I couldn't

hide it from him. Why did I even try?

"Joel... I think im pregnant.." I whispered, feeling retarded having said it.

*Joel*

My mind was whirling. "You... you do?" I asked, somewhat shocked. I would've never thought Benji to be pregnant... with his attitude it just seemed... I don't know... wrong.

I pulled him into my arms as a few tears fell from his eyes. "I don't want to be pregnant," he whimpered. "I know baby," I whispered, stroking his hair in an attempt to calm him down, "But maybe you're not. Maybe it's just something else."

"Like what?" Benji asked, looking up at me. Shit. "Like.. I don't know," I sighed, "Maybe you are pregnant. In any case, I'm here for you. And besides, you may not have twins, so that's less pain for you. On second thought, you better NOT have twins, 'cause thats more work for us."

Benji smiled slightly, and I grinned. "It's not so bad," I said softly, hugging him, "I'm here for you."

"I know," He sighed, "I just... I sure as hell know I'm not ready for something like this."

"We'll make it through," I told him reassuringly, rubbing his stomach gently, "I promise."

*Benji*

By that afternoon, I already looked to be about 5 or 6 months pregnant. And it wasn't fun. My body ached, I couldn't seem to sleep, and I kept throwing up.

Joel was with me every second of the day, and he'd sent Tommy and Jake to Billy's place for the night so he could keep a close eye on me and not have to worry about what mischief the kids would be getting into.

*Benji*

"Are you feeling any better?" Joel asked me.

"No," I shook my head and looked up at him from my place on the bathroom floor. "But I don't think I'm gonna puke anymore. Help me." I reached my arms out to him and he pulled me up. My back and my feet hurt so bad. My body had NO TIME to get used to the weight. Which reminded me of the fact there was a scale in there. Joel seemed to read my mind.

"Maybe you should get on the scale. Doesn't matter how heavy you are it all disappears after you have the baby," he said, patting his ALMOST flat stomach.

"Alright," I said. He pulled it out of the corner and I stepped on. Over the 6-month ish looking stomach I had, I couldn't see the numbers. "I cant see," I said flatly. Joel looked down.

"How much did you weigh before?" he asked me.

"Uh. 180. Or 185," I shrugged. He said nothing. "Well. How much do I weigh now?"

"Umm.. If I tell you... you wont flip will you?" he asked nervously.

"Oh come on it cant be that bad," I laughed.

"Well when you think about it its only 25 lbs..." he said.

"WHAT!?" I screamed. I'm like 5'8. 25 lbs is a lot.

"I told you you'd flip!" he shook his head.

"AH Oh God. I broke the 200 mark didn't I?" I asked.

"Uh. Only by a few pounds."

"THIS SUCKS." I stomped out of the room. "IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUUUUCKS!" I grabbed a cheese stick and shoved it in my mouth.

"Like I said Benji it all goes away after you have the baby," he said.

"Yeah yeah I know." I stuffed the last of the cheese stick in my mouth. "Hey that was really good." I grabbed another. Joel giggled at me, sitting at the table as I stood by the fridge.

"What?" I asked with my mouth full.

"It's just funny how you complain about your weight then start eating..."

*Joel*

I helped Benji into bed later on, helping his strip his clothes off so he'd be more comfortable.

"This sucks," Benji pouted, pulling me close to him.

I giggled and kissed his softly, wrapping my arms around him the best I could with his stomach. "I know, but it's almost over," I assured him.

He nodded, kissing me gently. "How much does it hurt?"

"A lot, I guess," I replied, not wanting to scare him, "But it goes really fast. You don't really notice it. And you should be one to stand pain with those tattoos and piercings."

"And you love them," Benji giggled slightly, his mood lightening, "Shit I'm tired."

"Get some sleep," I said softly, stroking his hair, "I'll be right here so wake me if you need me."

"Love you Joelsy," he sighed softly, his eyes fluttering closed.

"Love you too."

*Benji*

I woke up the next morning, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. I groaned in frustration

as I saw my stomach was even bigger. I just hoped it wouldn't be long now.

"Morning," Joel mumbled into my neck, kissing me softly, "Sleep okay?"

"Yeah," I mumbled, "I hate this."

*Benji*

"I know you hate it," he said as I sat up. He rubbed my lower back. "Why don't you wait here and I'll get breakfast?"

"I'll be damned if I'm going to lie here until this baby comes. It could be HOURS!" I insisted, trying to stand but falling back down.

"Here lemme help you," Joel laughed, getting infront of me. He grabbed both my hands and yanked me up. I felt SEVERLY overweight. I really don't think my legs had ever had to carry me this heavy before... No actually I KNOW they hadn't. I managed to find a old T shirt and sweatpants that still fit... My back was killing me. I was nervous to walk down the stairs because I couldn't see my feet but I managed just fine.

"I want McDonald's," I said just as Joel sat down at the table. He sighed.

"Ok Benj I'll get ya some McDonald's." He stood up. "Call my cell if anything happens though."

"I wanna go with you," I pouted. He looked at me like I had LOST my mind.

"Benji you are so conspicuous. There is NO way you can cover that up." He ran his hand over the swell of my stomach.

"Well you never tried!" I insisted. Suddenly I felt overwhelmingly sad, like I wanted to bust out crying. Which I did. For no real reason.

"Damn horomones," he grumbled, looking in the closet. "Here, wear this and sit in the backseat." He handed me a big trenchcoat. I put it on and.. Still looked ridiculous.

"Well, it helps," I said, wiping away a few of my random tears.

"Yeah it does. I'm sorry I thought it was a dumb idea Benji," he hugged me, and I knew the only reason he was being so nice to me was because I was all unintentionally emotional and he didn't want me stressing.

"No it's ok it IS a dumb idea," I laughed.

*Joel*

"I'd like one Egg and Cheese Biscuit, hold the bacon..."

"TWO!!!" Benji yelled from the backseat.

"Ok sorry two of those..." The screen changed ndicating my order. "One sausage egg and cheese biscuit... Two hashbrowns..."

"THREE HASHBROWNS! I WANT TWO!"

"OK THREE HASHBROWNS." I yelled. "Would you like anything else Benji?" I said through gritted teeth.

"I... Maybe.. T...The icecreamie things... You don't have to get mad at me. I cant help it if I'm hungry," he snifled and I could tell he was ready to cry again probably.

"And one of those icecream things," I said. The voice replayed with the price and I waited in line for the car infront of me to move.

"I'm sorry Benji. You know I'm not mad. I've been in your position before. I'm just nervous. This time tomorow we're gonna have another baby, y'know," I said.

"Yeah I know. I'm not really insulted I just feel like crying," he said.

*Joel*

"You okay?" I asked Benji as he winced slightly, holding his arm across his stomach. "Yeah," he nodded, "It just hurt really bad for a second."

"Do you think it's time?" I asked softly, getting up and going over to him.

"I don't know," he whimpered, "It just hurts so badly..."

"Here," I breathed, knowing that it was time, "Let's get you onto the sofa."

Benji cried out in pain as another contraction hit him. I helped him out of his clothes and to lay back on the sofa.

"God.. it hurts Joel!" he cried, tears streaming down his face.

"I know Benji," I whispered, "I know. It'll be over in a few minutes, I promise."

I looked up as I heard a knock on the door. "Shit. Perfct time for Billy to bring the kids back home," I muttered, jumping up and runing to the door.

"Billy, take the kids to the park, Benji's having it," I whispered into his ear, before closing the door and running back to him.

*Benji*

I cried out in pain as another... contraction hit me. It hurt so much... how did girls put up with it? "C'mon Benji... push for me," Joel whispered from his spot between my spread legs.

I groaned in pain and pushed hard, feeling like I was being split in two. "It hurts," I whimpered, "I can't."

"Yes you can, you're doing great," Joel said calmly, "Push again."

*Benji*

"AHHHHHHHHHHH... Oh shit please can't you like... Give me a C section or something!?" I asked frantically.

"Not unless you want to bleed to death," he said, "Alright Benj, on te next contraction I want you to push real hard for me ok? And don't stop till I tell you to."

"Ok," I nodded and waited for the next one. When It came I pushed as hard as I could, squeezing the pillows beside me. After an.. eternity, Joel said to stop.

"That was good Benji," he said, "The head is almost out. Just do what you just did." And I did, again. I was certain the entire bottom half of my body was being ripped up. It hurt so fucking bad. I couldn't help but scream.

"I'm gonna die," I groaned.

"No your not you're almost there..."

"You're just saying that," I panted.

"No, I promise you won't die. Just once more and I think were home free..." He said.

"YOU say it like it's an easy thing to do!" I screamed at him.

"Benji remember, I did this already. TWICE. It's gonna be over soon I promise," he said rubbing my leg.

"I'm never having sex with you again," I cried out in pain.

"Ok you don't have to just push right now ok," he said, not listening to my nonsense.

"Ok... Ok.." I squeezed my eyes shut and pushed once again. I felt the pain lessen immensly as

Joel pulled the baby away. It began crying immediately.

"It's a girl Benji!" He said, wrapping her in a towel. Now all three of us were crying.

"She's really tiny..." I said, not daring to move my body and waiting for him to bring her to me.

*Joel*

"She's so beautiful," Benji breathed as I handed her to him, "What should we name her?"

"Something different," I nodded, "Not a common name."

"Hmm..." Benji thought aloud, "First of all, can I please get some clothes on?"

"Aww, I like you naked," I grinned at him, "Okay okay. Here, I'll do it for you."

I helped him into his clothes quickly, then helped him to sit up. "How about Faith?" Benji asked suddenly, "You kow, like that badass chick on TV. I have a feeling she'd be like her."

"No, you have a feeling she'd be like you," I giggled, "But I like that name. So Faith it is then."

"Daddy!!!! Daddy!!!"

I laughed as Jake and Tommy ran into the room, jumping onto me. "What?" I asked, "Why are you two so hyper?"

"Uncle Billy said we have a new brother or sister!" Jake grinned, "Which is it?"

"A sister," I smiled at them, "Her name's Faith."

"She's so small," Tommy said softly, sitting next to Benji and looking at her, "Were we that small?"

Benji smiled tiredly and nodded, "You guys sure were."

*Joel*

"Does she have a sqishy head??? I hear babies have squishy heads," Jake asked.

"Yes Jake she has a... squishy head," Benji sighed.

"Can I poke it?" He said reaching for Faith's head.

"NO YOU CANNOT POKE IT. Don't touch it. EVER!" Benji barked at him.

"Now Benji I'm sure if he's gentle..."

"NO!... At least give her a few days before she gets people prodding her skull." He held her close in a very protective way. "Isn't that right baby? You don't want anyone poking you," he baby talked her.

"Does she understand him?" Tommy asked me.

"No."

"Then why's he talking to her?"

"Because its just a... thing Mommies and Daddies do. When you talk to babys they learn to speak," I explained.

"Oh ok," Tommy nodded. "HELLO BABY!" He waved in her face. She made a few gurgling noises then started to cry.

"I don't think she likes you Tommy," Jake said.

"No babies just cry when you make too much noise. You two go upstairs now," I shooed them away. They went to leave but Jake turned back.

"Hey Daddy... Benji Daddy..." he said to draw Benji's attention away from Faith.

"Yes?"

"Are you gonna stay that fat forever?" he laughed. I cringed.

"Umm... No he'll be back to normal tomorow..." I said pushing him out of the room quickly as he ran up to his bedroom.

"That child is rude and strange. He is most definatelyYOURS," Benji said to me, completely overlooking his own rudeness and strangeness

*Joel*

"Oh, so I'm odd and strange, but you're not?" I asked Benji, somewhat hurt. Either he didn't hear me, or he chose to ignore me, because he kept talking softly to Faith.

Now I understood why little kids feel left out when parents have a baby and always pay attention to them. Thats what I felt like now.

"C'mon Faith, lets get you a crib to sleep in," Benji smiled at her, getting up and going to look in the back room where we kept Jake and Tommy's old baby stuff.

I got up and headed upstairs, getting a warm bath set up for Benji. After what he'd been through, I think he could use a relaxing bath.

I peered into the bedroom and watched as he set up the crib for Faith, putting some blankets in it for her, before laying her sleeping form down. "Hey Benji?" I smiled at him softly, "I got a bath going for you."

"Thanks, but I'm exhausted. I'm gonna get to bed," he said, smiling at Faith again, stroking her head softly and gently. I sighed and nodded, going to empty the water out.

Maybe tomarrow I could take Tommy and Jake to see a movie or something. Benji seemed like he'd be preoccupied wit Faith for a while, so I could take the kids out. Maybe to the toy store or something.

*Joel*

"Daddy, why didn't daddy come with us?" Jake asked me, waranting a dirty look fom some ugly old woman.

"Because Daddy is taking care of Faith," I said.

"Does she need all that attention?" Tommy asked.

"Yes babies do need that much attention."

"She cried a lot last night," Jake said.

"Yeah she kept us up all night. Unfortunately your father has what I call 'overprotective mommy syndrome'," I told them.

"Whats that?" Jake questioned.

"It's when your Dad is scared to let other people hold or touch the baby for fear that they'll drop her or feed her wrong or breathe on her," I explained.

"Ooooh," the two of them said.

"But don't worry some people just get like that after four weeks of staying up all night and taking care of her with barely any help he'll be begging us to take care of her," I laughed.

"We should make his get on his knees and beg!" Jake yelled.

"Jake, thats so evil" And such a GREAT IDEA!

"Yeah Daddy wouldn't do that anyway," Tommy said.

"You'd be surprised what some people when they havent slept in a month and they are having a nervous breakdown while their husband POINTS AND LAUGHS," I said evilly, and the boys both looked at me oddly. "Umm... Nevermind boys lets just go to the toy section ok?"

"Umm.. Ok Daddy," Jake said cautiously walking ahead of me.

"Are you mad at our other Daddy?" Tommy asked.

"No, of course not. What makes you think that?"

*Benji*

"Hey there Faith," I cooed at her as we woke up slowly, giggling at me. I picked her up and laughed as she tugged on my lipring. "Are you hungry?" I asked her, holding her close as I carried her into the kitchen to get a bottle warmed for her.

She made some gurgling noises as the bottle warmed in the microwave. It beeped, so I took it out and sat down on the sofa, feeding her the bottle. "Someone's hungry," I smiled at her as she drank the milk, "You must've gotten my appetite."

"We're baaaaack," Joel called out as he came inside with Jake and Tommy. "Hey," I said softly, glancing up at him, "How was the toy store?"

"Fun or them, hell for me," Joel sighed, "They must've touched every toy they had on display, and after it all, they ended up with Power Rangers."

"It could be worse," I chuckled, "They could've wanted Barbies."

"True," Joel smiled slightly, "She's got your appetite huh?"

"Are you saying I'm a pig?" I asked teasingly, "She's just hungry is all. Babies eat a lot."

Faith finished her bottle and sighed contently, looking ready to fall asleep. I smiled and carried her upstairs, putting her to sleep in her crib, watching her with a smile.

*Joel*

"Benj, do you wanna help me make some sundaes? And maybe watch a movie?" I asked him, standing beside him as he smiled at Faith's sleeping form.

"Nah, I think I'll stay here," he replied, not removing his gaze from her.

I sighed, feeling dejected. "Fine," I said, unable to hide the hurt in my voice, "Just...fine."

*Benji*

He had sounded upset, so I figured I'd ask him about it later. I watched Faith squirm in her sleep and smiled. She was such a good baby. She she cried at night but otherwise she wasn't a hassle at all.

"That's right Faith. Daddy loves you."

((Two. Weeks. Later.))

*Joel*

I could tell Benji was really starting to feel the effects of taking care of Faith and never letting me do anything. Not only did I feel bad he was ignoring me but he rarely even let me hold my own baby. But I could tell he'd get over it soon; he was really dragging himself.

"Morning Benj," I said to him.

"Yeah," he spat, sitting down.

"Tired?" I asked.

"What do you think?" he said, cranky from his lack of rest.

"Well this shouldn't be too hard since we raised twins before. I feel fine."

"Taking care of the twins was easier than this!" Benji groaned. "I haven't slept since she was born."

"Well I could help you out," I offered.

"No that's ok, I can take care of my own baby, thanks," he said snottily.

"Well considering you look like you're about to pass out from exaustion, maybe you shoud just back off and let me do some work. Or at least hold her. You afraid I'll drop her or something?" I yelled.

"YEAH! You always were clumsy," he snorted.

"Incase you havent noticed, she's MY baby too you fucking PRICK and I took care of BOTH of the twins almost by myself because you were so fucking lazy and did a FINE job so don't treat me like I don't know how to take care of a baby."

*Joel*

I looked towards the stairs as Faith started crying. Benji went to get up to get her, but I pushed him back down into the seat. "Benj, let me get her," I said sternly, almost pleadingly.

"No, it's okay, I got it," Benji replied, going upstairs.

I sighed, plopping down at the table heavily. Faith was gonna grow up with only one parent by the time Benji got done with her. I sighed in anger as I felt tears in my eyes. Maybe I should have another kid and pay Benji back. Nah, I don't think so... I'm not ready for that kinda pain

EVER again.

"She's okay," Benji said, coming back downstairs, "Joel? You okay?" he asked, plaing his hand on my shoulder.

"Don't touch me," I choked out around my tears, "You've been nothing but a fucking prick since Faith was born. You act like you're all she has, when she does have another parent AND two brothers who hardly even get to LOOK at her without you flipping out. God, I haven't even gotten to TOUCH her once since she was born. You just need to learn to lighten up."

I got up angrily, storming into our bedroom where Faith was sleeping peacefully in her crib. I was starting to feel like she wasn't even mine. She started crying suddenly, so I jumped up to get her before Benji could run upstairs for her. If he wouldn't loosen up on his own, then I'd make him loosen up.

*Joel*

I shoved some clothes into my suitcase and slammed it shut. Jake and Tommy were sitting on the bed.

"Dad... Where are you takin us?" Jake asked.

"To Uncle Billy's," I said, picking up Faith in her carseat and going down stairs and walking right past Benji.

"Joel?? What the hell..." he stood up.

"You've been ignoring all of us and I KNOW you love Faith but. I'm just fucking sick of it. And you haven't been very nice to me either, so I'm out," I shrugged.

"WHAT!? No, YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO WALK OUT ON ME LIKE THIS!" he screamed, getting infront of the door. I put Faith down and walked up to him.

"I have every right in the world. You ignore us. I mean that's not so bad there IS a baby but your attitude... I just can't stand you acting like were all inadequate. Now get the FUCK out of my way," I said sternly.

"No. You can feel free to leave, but the kids are staying here," he said. I ignored him and picked up Faith, walking to the back door and to the mini van with the boys.

"But Daddy said..." Tommy started.

"Tom, Just get in the car," I said, sitting Faith downa nd strapping her in. The boys climbed in on either side of her. When I closed the door I was whipped around and shoved against the door, my head making a dull cracking noise against the side of the van.

"Don't do this to me Joel," Benji said, seething.

"Get off me." He slammed me against the car once again. "I SAID GET OFF!"

"Not until you take those kids and go back inside!" he screamed.

"I'm not so get the fuck off me!" I demanded. He reeled back and I knew what was coming but I felt pretty defenseless. I braced myself, and he punched me square in the jaw.

"I SAID GO INSIDE!" he screamed, but suddenly let go of me and backed up. I could taste blood in my mouth. He looked absolutely terrified. "Holyshit... Joel... I'm so sorry... Joel..." he tried to reason but I jumped in the car, backing out of the driveway quickly.

*Joel*

"Daddy, when are we gonna see Daddy again?" Jake asked me softly, climbing beside me on the sofa. It had been about a month, with no word from Benji at all. "I don't know," I answered him honestly.

"Hey Joel, phone for you," Billy said, tossing me the cordless.

"Hello?" I asked slowly.

"Joel? It's Paul," he said, "I think you should come back home to Benji with the kids."

"Why?" I asked, fearing the worst.

"He's wasted... he hasn't been eating or sleeping since you left," Paul replied sadly, "I've been trying to get him to eat and he keeps refusing. You're all he talks about. He misses you so much Joel, he... he even threatened to kill himself a few times, so I stayed with him to make sure he wouldn't do anything like that."

I rubbed my eyes roughly, sending white sparks flying. I wanted to go back... I just hoped Benji was okay and himself again. "We'll be right there," I whispered, hanging up the phone.

"We're going home Jake, get Tommy and get packed."

*Benji*

I stared out the bedroom window forlornly, then glanced at Faith's empty crib. I could feel my heart breaking all over again. I loved Joel and the kids more than life itself... and they were gone. Because of me.

I felt tears flowing down my cheeks again, and sobs racked my body. I curled into a ball, sobbing my eyes out for the millionth time. I felt arms wrap around me and didn't do anything, because I knew it was probably Paul again, trying to comfort me.

Nothing would comfort me until Joel was back with me. "Paul leave me alone," I sobbed, "I just wanna die."

*Joel*

"It's not Paul," I said. Benji looked up at me completely surpised. He looked like crap. He'd lost weight, and there were dark circles under his eyes.

"J...Joel?" He asked, touching my cheek.

"Yeah it's me Benji." I felt tears rising to the surface. I'd missed him so much, "I'm back."

Benji jumped and wrapped his arms around me, almost making us topple over.

"Oh my god Joel I'm so sorry I love you so much... I love you... I'm sorry. Oh mygod..." he sobbed frantcally.

"Shhh... Benji it's ok. I forgive you. I'm never gonna leave you again. I promise," I said, pulling back and looking him in the eye.

"I...I'm so sorry I promise I'll never act like that again..." he said.

"I know," I rubbed his shoulder. "Now... Clean youself up... I don't want the boys to think we've been fighting more," I said wiping a few tears off of my face.

"T... They're here? The kids are here?" Benji asked anxiously.

"Yeah they're downstairs," I said grabbing a few tissues and wiping his eyes, "They really missed you."

"I really missed them too. And you. I was afraid you'd never come back," his eyes watered over again but he blinked back his tears. We both stood up.

"God Benj, you look like hell," I shook my head. He looked... Malnourished. Not necessarily UNDERWEIGHT, even though he was skinnier, but just unhealthy.

"I know," he laughed sadly, "Why did you come back?"

"Paul called and told me how upset you were and I missed you so much and... I didn't realize how much it would affect you. And the kids missed you," I told him.

"Remind me to thank Paul," he said. He hugged me again and I held him for a few minutes.

"We gotta go downstairs," I said, backing up.

"Ok. They're not mad at me though are they?" Benji asked.

"No. Don't worry Benji they'll be happy to see you," I smiled.

*Joel*

I smiled as Benji and I walked downstairs, Jake and Tommy running to him, hugging him tightly. "DADDY!" they both screamed, "We missed you!!!!!"

"I missed you guys too," Benji smiled, fighting back tears of happiness as he held them both and they clung onto him.

I went over to Faith's carrier and took her out, holding her closely while I waited for the other three to calm down.

"Benji," I smiled at him, walking over to him and handing him Faith, "See? I CAN take care of her afterall."

Benji smiled as he held her, kissing her forehead softly. She smiled at him making a gurgling noise and tugging on his lipring. Benji laughed slightly.

*Benji*

"God I'm starved," I said as Joel ordered pizza for us, "I need food."

"That you do," Joel nodded, "Just don't eat too much so soon or you'll gain too much weight back."

"I know," I smiled, kissing him, "I missed you ssssssooooo much."

*Joel*

I watched Benji pack away his third piece of pizza.

"What did I say about eating too much?" I asked.

"I know but my appetite came back when you did. I swear I wasn't hungry before and then as soon as we all got back together again I got really hungry," he laughed.

"Hell, I don't care eat all you want. I'm just happy to see you again."

"Not as happy as I am," he insisted.

"I just love you. And I mean... We're twins too... I've never been away from you for that long. It was just plain lonely. I'm so used to you being there for everything," I said.

"I was afraid you'd never comeback. Not as a brother or a lover. I couldn't live like that," he said.

"Me either. Paul told me you'd threatened to kill yourself and that scared me so bad I ran right over. A month alone was bad enough but if you went through with it.. because of me. I don't know what I'd do." The thought was enough to bring tears to my eyes.

"Don't worry. I promise, I won't ever leave you," he said, grabbing my hand and strokng the back of it with his thumb. He pulled me up and brought me upstairs into what we called "his" bedroom. We had the one we shared then this one, which he had done whatever he wanted to. And we didn't SLEEP in here but when he needed a place to go and think or write songs he always came in here. The walls were painted black, black condle holders ALL over. All different hieghts, ranging from taller than us to sitting on the floor, hundreds of white candles in them. He sat me down, and went around with one of those torch thingies lighting each candle until the room glowed orange. He peeled back the black satin comforter revealing deep crimson sheets and pillowcases. The deep red matched the small sofa on te other side of the room.

"Let me make it up to you," he said, pulling my over to him, "I'll be gentle."

"Don't worry, I can take a little pain," I laughed.

"I know. But I want it to be really romantic."

*Benji*

I kissed Joel softly, my lips moving gently against his. "I love you so much," Joel sighed around our kiss, looking at me, "I missed you so much."

"I missed you too," I sighed, kissing his neck gently, "Let me make love to you?"

He nodded, pulling my shirt off my body. "God Benj... I think this is the skiniest I've ever seen you," Joel pouted, "I miss your chubbiness."

"Sorry," I giggled, "I'll gain it back for you."

"Good," Joel grinned, taking his shirt off, "Make love to me Benji."

I kissed him again, undoing his pants and sliding them down and off his legs. He sighed and did the same to me.

"God you're beautiful," I breathed, kissing him again.

I reached under the bed for the lube, opening it and coating my fingers before slipping two into him. "Ugh god," he groaned, "So good Benji..."

I grinned at him and pushed my fingers into him as deep as they'd go, hitting his spot. I brushed my fingers against his spot time and time again, making him groan and squirm on the bed.

"Please Benj," he groaned, "Do it."

I grinned at him and withdrew my fingers, using the remaining lube to coat my length. I spread his legs and gently pushed forward, filling him quickly.

"Oh shit," Joel groaned, "I love you Benj."

*Benji*

"God I love you too." I sighed. "Are you ready?"

"Yes, please Benji... Make love to me, fuck me... Do whatever you want to me..." He begged, pushing his hips back against me. I moved within him slowly, too slowly for his liking... Joel never was one for the "slow and steady" route but I figured I'd show him how nice it could be. I sped up a little though, so he'd shut up.

"Shiiit Benji... Oh Man..." he groaned. I wrapped my hand around his erection and his breath caught in his throat.

"Y... You like that?" I panted.

"Yessss... Ohyes..." He tilted his head back, exposing his entire neck to me, and I focused my attention on the one spot that NEVER failed to make him moan. Our bodies moved as one, with fluid motions and more real love put into the whole concept of "lovemaking" than we had before.

"Joel you're so tight," I moaned, "SO. FUCKING. TIGHT."

"I... I... Oooh Benji..." he panted. Our upper bodies rubbed against one another and his skin was scorching. I felt heat pool in my lower stomach and I knew I was close, Joel's trembling legs told me he was too. His moans changed in pitch suddenly.

"Oo.. Oh shit... Fuck I'm so close Benj. SO close.." he moaned. My thrusts began to falter.

"Me to baby me too..." I said, my lips brushing against the sweaty, hot skin on his neck. Finally I felt his muscles contract as he spilled himself all over my hand and our stomachs. I thrust into him harshly a few last times, moaning at the newfound tightness, before I came inside of him, collapsing ontop of him.

*Joel*

I quickly pushed Benji off, as he was making it hard for me to breath, but I weakly cuddled into his side.

"Fuck Benji that was intense," I said.

"It was amazing," he corrected me. I shifted my body a little, the silk feeling cool under my skin, before pulling the comforter over us.

"This room used to scare the hell out of me," I laughed.

"Why?"

"There are dolls hanging from the cieling by nooses. Thats a little odd," I said.

"Yeah but odd is good," he smiled.

"Yeah. Now they seem almost romantic. Almost."

*Joel*

"Daddy? Daddy?" Tommy asked, knocking on the door, "Faith's crying again."

"Ugh," I groaned, holding onto Benji, "I don't wanna get up."

"Then let me," Benji smiled at me, getting out of bed slowly and pulling on a pair of boxers,

"You get some rest. I'll be back."

I nodded and curled farther into the covers, pulling them around me, inhaling Benji's scent on them and smiling.

*Benji*

I picked Faith up and smiled as she quieted down. I took her into the kitchen and warmed a bottle for her.

"Daddy can you make us dinner?" Jake asked, tugging on my shorts.

"Sure," I smiled at them, "What would you guys like?"

"Spagetti O's!" Tommy giggled.

"Then Spagetti O's it is," I smiled at them, putting Faith down in her playpen as I opened two cans of Spagetti O's for the kids, before sticking them in the microwave and taking Faith's bottle out.

I picked her up and fed her the bottle while I waited for Tommy and Jake's dinner to be finished. When the microwave beeped, I took the bowels out carefully and called them.

"Thanks Daddy!" Jake grinned, climbing into his chair, "Where's Daddy at?"

"Sleeping," I smiled, "He's tired."

*Joel*

"DADDY DADDY GET UP!" I woke up to Jake jumping up and down on my bed; luckily I was under the covers so he wouldn't ask why I was naked.

"Why?" I asked flatly.

"BECAAAAAAAAAAUSE THE HARRY POTTER MOVIE IS-oomph-" I cringed as my son thudded to the floor.

"Jake, are you alright???"

"Yeah... Hey... Why are there dolls hanging from the roof?" he questioned.

"Because Daddy... Your other daddy... Is a closet goth," I said.

"What's a closet goth?" Jake asked.

"It's a weird guy who lights candles and wears black clothes and eyeliner and hangs dolls from the cieling. Now go on and let me get dressed," I said.

"COOL Daddy does all that stuff! And ok,." he said scampering out of the room. I threw on yesteray's clothes an trudged downstairs.

"So Joel, I see you too have discovered the joys of Harry Potter at 7 AM," Benji said, obviously irritated he was woken up so early to watch the damn movie.

"Daaaaaaaaddy?" Jake asked Benji.

"Yeah?"

"Are you really a... ummm... closet goth? Thats the word right? Closet goth?" Jake looked to me.

I nodded.

"Where'd you hear that?" Benji laughed.

"From Daddy..." Jake paused, the pointed to me, "That daddy. He said weird people like you who paint the walls black and wear eyeliner and hang dolls from the ceilings are closet goths."

"The also listen to goth synth pop," I added.

"What?" Tommy asked.

"Goth Synth Pop. It's that weird stuff he listens to when he doesn't think were listening."

"OOooooOh!" both twins said.

"That music sucks," Jake said.

"NO IT'S REALLY GOOD!" Tommy yelled.

"NO ITS NOT ITS STUPID AND WEIRD!"

"YOOOOOUR STUPID AND WEIRD JAKE!"

"NO YOU ARE!"

*Benji*

"Settle down!" I laughed, pulling Tommy onto my lap and holding him there, "Don't you wanna watch Harry Potter?"

"Yes," he said, watching the TV intently.

I laughed and met Joel's eyes. "Y'know, Tommy's just like you Benj," Joel chuckled as Tommy settled down in my lap, my arms around his waist, holding him there. "And Jake's like you," I chuckled, "I think Faith's gonna be like us both for sure."

"Speaking of which, is she still asleep?" Joel asked.

I nodded. "Yeah. She was up earlier, so I fed her and put her back to bed."

Joel smiled and nodded, leaning his head on my shoulder as Jake settled down into his lap. "So how many times have we seen this movie?" Joel laughed.

"A million," I snickered, "And I have a feeling we're gonna be watching it a million more."