IF GOD Had An Answering Machine.... 

We have all learned to live with "voice mail" as a
necessary part of modern life. But have you
wondered, what if God decided to install
voice mail?" Imagine praying and hearing this:

Thank you for calling God's House. Please select
one of the following options:
Press 1 for Requests
Press 2 for Thanksgiving
Press 3 for Complaints
Press 4 for All Other Inquiries.

What if God used the familiar excuse... "I'm
sorry,all of our angels/gods are busy helping other
sinners right now. However, your prayer is
important to us and will be answered in the order
it was received, so please stay on the line..you
will not be disconnected" (can u imagine
when u will be answered...if u r on Q!!)

Can you imagine getting these kinds of responses
as you call God in Prayer:
If you know the extension of the God you are
trying to reach press it now. For a directory by name
press 2, for a directory by work/occupation Press 3
If you would like to hear a devotional song while
you are holding please press 4.
To find out if a loved one has been assigned to
Heaven, Press 5, enter his or her passport number,
then press the pound key.
(If you get a negative response, try area code
666.)

For reservations at "God's House" please enter
G-O-D followed by 1-2-3.
For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs,
the age of the earth , please wait until you arrive here.

Our computers show that you have already prayed
once today. Please hang up and try again
tomorrow.

This office is closed for the weekend to observe a religious holiday.
Please pray again Monday after 9:30 AM. If you need
emergency assistance when this office is closed,
contact your local priest.

THANK GOD, HE DOESN'T HAVE VOICE MAIL AND HE
LISTENS WHEN WE PRAY!!!!!