| THE TEN GREATEST VIDEO GAME VILLAINS (SERIOUS EDITION |
| Video game villains have been around since...well, the creation of games. Here I list some of the more memorable ones that have made a lasting impact on me over the years. |
| 10. Dr. Robotnik, Sonic the Hedgehog (Genesis) |
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| Who wouldn't hate a guy who transforms cute and cuddly animals into fire breathing mechanical insects? A lot of people, including myself. However, Robotnik (or Eggman) makes the list because he always gets away no matter how many times you beat him. Jerk. |
| I'll get you next time, Sonic! NEXT TIME!!! |
| 9. Lan Di Shenmue (Dreamcast) |
| The man kills the protagonist Ryo's father over a pocket mirror. Need I say more? |
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| Chinese stereotypes run rampant in AM2's Shenmue! I love it! |
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| 8. Pyramid Head Silent Hill: Restless Dreams (Xbox) |
| Silent Hill has a creepy atmosphere as is, what with all the deformed humanoid/demon...things. It only gets worse once you run into this particularly gruesome creature. He chases you throughout the dark corridors of this game with his giant cleaver in hand, forcing you to run like hell. Let me also put it this way--your first encounter takes place when you're hiding in a closet, watching Pyramid Head rape and kill another gruesome inhabitant of Silent Hill. Gross. |
| Resistance is futile. Drop it like it's hot and run! |
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| 7. Delita Final Fantasy Tactics (PlayStation) |
| The classic story of a good guy gone bad. We've seen them in other great RPGs (Tactics Ogre's Vice and Grandia 2's Melfice come to mind), but never did the betrayal sink in like Delita's. Heck, aside from turning his back on poor Ramza, leaving the protagonist to believe he was dead for years, we believe he's a good guy until the end of the game, when his true motives are revealed. Depressing stuff. |
| A man who uses his best friends to realize his goals is a cold, cold man. |
| 6. Sephiroth Final Fantasy VII (PlayStation) |
| Regarded by many as the greatest video game villain of all time (and maybe beyond the realm of gaming), Sephiroth was a shoe-in for the top ten. The hero of young boys everywhere (including our hero, Cloud), Sephiroth loses it when he finds out he's a clone. This leads to massive death and destruction everywhere, starting with Cloud's hometown of Nibelheim. Though Cloud kills him, he returns mysteriously seven years later in order to *guess, guess* destroy the world with a meteor. How cliched! |
| "What I have shown you is reality. What you remember, that is the illusion." |
| 5. The Flood Halo (Xbox) |
| The original Halo's story played like standard sci-fi fare--in the future, space exploration is possible, and in far off galaxies, humans discover a cult of aliens (The Covenant) whose one desire is to eradicate human life as we know it. You expect to just fight these aliens until the end of the game, but halfway through, you run into what is easily one of the creepiest moments in gaming--the truth about Halo, and the introduction of the Flood. With the ability to plant itself into the dead, reanimate tissue, and transforming familiar friends and foes into seemingly mindless monsters earns the Flood a spot at number five. |
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| Makes ya feel kinda itchy, don't it? |
| 4. Kefka Final Fantasy III (SNES) |
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| It doesn't get much worse than this guy. The first villain I can actually remember hating to the core. I won't go into too much of his dastardly deeds, but I will say he is a clown, and he is downright evil. Oh yeah, and his annoying laughs will get on your nerves almost as much as his despicable acts of inhumanity and pure craziness. |
| Joker who? |
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| 3. Ganon Zelda: A Link to the Past (SNES) |
| Ruler of the Dark World, he imprisons eight maidens (including Princess Zelda), in order to rule the Light World along with the three pieces of the triforce, leaving Link, apparently the only able-bodied citizen in Hyrule, to obtain the Master Sword, rescue these maidens, the Princess, defeat Ganon, collect the pieces of the triforce, and restore peace to the land. Got that? |
| 2. Bowser, King of the Koopas Super Mario Bros. (NES) |
| The "original" bad-boy, Bowser essentially wages jihad on the Mushroom Kingdom with his army of turtles, flying fish, bullets, chia pets, and mushrooms turned bad. Even worse, he kidnaps the Princess to apparently make reptilian love to her, which upsets Mario so much that he travels through pipes and beanstalks to save her. Problem is, everytime he beats bowser, he ends up just being an imposter, and instead rescues, Toad, Peach's loyal retainer, who leaves you with arguably the most hated line in all of gaming: "THANK YOU MARIO! BUT OUR PRINCESS IS IN ANOTHER CASTLE!" GOD NOOOOOOO!!! |
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| What's the point in fighting you when I know you're just a goomba in a Bowser suit and I have a talking mushroom next door waiting to insult me? |
| The nightmare of all practicing Jews. |
| AND THE NUMBER ONE SPOT GOES TO... |
| 1. Luca Blight Suikoden II (PlayStation) |
| My choice for the greatest villain has to go to Luca Blight. No other video game villain embodied sheer evil like he did. He slaughtered whole villages, toying with villagers' lives before he mercilessly cut them down, all while laughing maniacally. He made a woman begging for her life to act like a pig, and when she was done, she asked, "Can I live now?". His reply? "DIE PIG!!!". Luca Blight witnessed the rape of his mother as a boy, which may be a reason for all his hatred--toward his father for not protecting her, and for the entire world. Luca wished to destroy the world, not for some misguided noble cause like other baddies (such as Sephiroth or Lunar's Ghaleon). He just wanted everyone to die, plain and simple. Just as shocking as his deeds was his epic death. Three parties of characters and barrage after barrage of arrows couldn't even take him down. Riou finally killed him in a solo battle, but Luca still died with a grin on his bloody face, laughing like a madman. HOO HOO HOO HA HA HA HA HA!!! Just Plain Evil. I hate you, Luca Blight. |
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| "Let me tell you something. There are weak men and strong men in this world. The strong men take everything and the weak men die. Now let me show you how it works, weaklings!!! |