every day passes me by, reminding me that my love is unwanted. and i look at the blue skies and the clouds go drifting by as though i'm not even here. and at night i wish upon stars, then i see them moving and realize they're only planes, and i think that wishing upon a car would probably be just as effective. and my passion is dying, and so am i.

and yesterday the thunder and the rain, the smell of it in the air, reminded me of the day i fell for him. the day the world was awash and all the pain began. i don't think anything has made sense since that day. my entire world was turned upside down, but it hasn't spun back around since.

i am tired of no one knowing who i am. tired of having this secret life that no one sees. how the ghost of who i should have been floats along side, visible only to me. and i pray that the ghost will possess me and take control of the reigns, but it only follows and teases. and my vision grows cloudy, misting over with daydreams that plague me--visions of that other life that got away, the one that drains me, leaving me twisted, longing for you.