why does it seen to be that you are not just what you seem? why do you say you've got that latent homo thing to me when we're deep in conversation as though you're hinting to me because you will never be mine and will never own your heart. and probably you could never own mine because i gave it away so long ago that i can't remember where or when this hurting really began and why, and have i just been a misguided fool? clinging to these stupid beliefs foolishly and wholeheartedly when there is no grain of truth within any of them, within any of it. these dramatic things happening to me only makes things worse because i revel in them to feel more important and less like someone who doesn't matter.